The mechanics of fear and love,
Is such a massively deep topic to explore.
I often wonder:
Is it possible to really be indifferent?
Is it possible to be without relationship?
Is it possible to really stay separate?
Is it possible to be neutral?
Is it possible to neither love nor hate?
From my intuition, it seems like that is not possible.
Life being a dynamic verb, nothing it still.
So everything has to move towards expansion or contraction?
It feels like that force that maintains and forwards unconsciousness and ignorance,
Is in the hate (contraction) direction,
While the force that maintains and forwards consciousness and knowledge,
Is in the love (expansion) direction.
Since all things are in polarity,
Whatever we invest and expand into, will inevitably disinvest and shrink its opposite?
I see everything is a state of pulsation in nature,
Like the heart beat, expanding and contracting.
Birth is like the expansion influx (like the inbreath),
Death is like the contraction deflux (like the outbreath).
I see birth and death as the alternating pulse between sound and silence.
The sound of creation booms into the manifest as birth,
And at death there is the return to silence/uncreated?
I feel like the experience of life is like music.
With multiple overlayed pulses of all kinds of instrument and voice timbers.
A multidimensional flow of pulses.
So then, both fear and love are as natural as expansion and contraction?
I have noticed that,
I fear all that I have an antagonistic relationship towards.
So maybe the presence of fear itself…,
Is revealing the antagonistic relationship present?
I wonder,
Is fear the ‘anticipatory recreation’ of the experience,
Of the repercussions/reaction from the other,
To my own antagonistic attitude towards the other,
Being mirrored back to me?
So then are fear and love, direct experiences,
Of the mirrored attitudes/relationship we hold towards the other entities we encounter?
Another aspect is self-hatred.
That is a condition where there is a projection of value and worth on the other,
While the self is cast to the shadow of unconsciousness/hate/shame.
There is then a constant focus on the other or on transcending oneself.
So here there are some interesting relationships I see.
When there is self-hatred of one’s body and its strength,
There is fear of other bodies and their strength.
I think here, the fear comes from the war with the conscious and unconscious identifications.
Unconsciously there is identification with the body,
But that is not supported by the conscious identification which is caught up with the other,
So the unconscious identification generates fear as resistance,
When you pursue the other.
So somewhere I wonder,
If we take extreme cases,
Like fear of a ghost/monster,
Is that the dissociated unconscious fragment of us,
That we have disowned,
That is getting attracted to us,
Because of our deeper desire for integration and wholeness?
Isn’t our worst fear that we will become the ghost?
That total assimilation/transformation is the terror.
What will happen to us,
If we let everything in?
Also I used to wonder about the fear of falling.
I have that fear because somewhere I desire to fall like that.
So is my intensity of fear of falling proportional to the intensity of desire I have to fall?
Is the intensity of fear I feel for death proportional to my own desire for death?
Fear and Desire seem inseparable like 2 sides of the same coin.
It seems like each is a resistance to the other.
Desire is a resistance to Fear.
Fear is a resistance to Desire.
Another thing I am reminded of is the story of the beauty and the beast.
The beast gets converted into the prince out of love.
Would this be true for all that fear?
That all that is feared if consciously loved,
Will become flowers from filth?
The ground of filth when nurtured by nature,
Becomes flower and fruit right?
Are all that we love/hate/desire/fear,
Are they all nothing but our own Self?
Supposing we want total wholeness and totally open ourselves up,
To attracting all of the unconscious to us back into our consciousness,
Will it result in a total war and destruction of all of our identity?
Is that what happens in enlightenment?
Is that the ultimate transformation?
The self here is the subset of qualities owned vs. the superset of all qualities in existence.
That division is what created self-other and the concept of relationship itself.
Love-Hate are like Yin-Yang.
The black fish has a white eye,
And the white fish has a black eye.
So total love and total hate do not exist and cannot exist.
Just like no absolute quality can exist without its opposite.
Going into total-hate or total-love,
Will result in transcendence to a dimension beyond duality.
These are some of my contemplations.
I’ll stop here for now.
Energy transforms energy
Energy transforms other energy.
“Bigger stronger energies” transform “Smaller weaker energies”.
Shakti is the only real currency – i.e. Energy currency.
To be Influenced —and—- To Influence.
You are attracted to what you care about —-and —- You transmit what you care about
They both go on together.
Everyone starts off as an infant right, in the yin receiving state.
We are a conduit for influences passing through us.
[Yin -> Yang -> [Yin -> Yang -> [Yin -> Yang….
Just like the firecracker that bursts forth, and the tinier bits burst forth again, and so on.
The influx of life causes the bursts —–and—– The shimmers/embers (that fall down from the sky) are the vacuuming/absorption action of death (deflux of life).
It is like an endless waterfall = ….Receive -> Absorb with -> Share/Transmit…
…Receive from above and raise oneself -> Serve and raise the others below…
Martial arts is a kind of intense form of dance
Martial arts is a form of intense dance.
That is, to understand the rhythm and patterns of the other’s movement,
And to intercept and respond.
Even if you do any of the usual dance steps very forcefully,
It will start to resemble martial arts.
A fight between 2 great masters is similar to watching a spectacular and intense dance performance.
Even good sex looks like a rhythmic dance.
There is a great similarity between:
Yoga (the physical forms), Dance, Martial arts, and Sex.
Imo Bruce Lee’s philosophy comes closest to capturing the essence of martial arts.
Its basis is in the binary of Yin-Yang.
It can also be seen as follow-lead, defense-attack, yield-force and so on.
(His martial art Jeet Kune Do itself means Jeet – defense, Kune – attack, do – the way)
The seduction of fear
The tree of life and its parasites,
The yo-yoing between the forces of life and death,
For the individual and collective,
Keeps going on.
I am neither life nor death.
Both are a polarity-play happening within me.
There are 1000s of forces in nature,
Existing together like a forest.
The forces of fear are seductive.
They transfix your attention with their seductive draw,
Towards horror/terror/paranoia/helplessness.
Why give so much limelight to those forces alone?
Why give that so much undivided attention, against everything else?
Life and Death are only appearances,
Your true nature is beyond both.
“Fear takes us out of ourselves,
And absorbs us into the object of fear.”
Like when a person holds a gun at you,
All of your attention transfixes itself on the gun.
These threatening elements will always be there,
In good times they might go into full remission,
And in other times they may come out in this way,
Attempting to seize everyone’s attention.
However these are just one of the elements,
And have their own place in this grand play of life.
They are part of the polarity-play between: Fear and Safety,
The spin of the yin and yang.
Dropping fear ultimately is only from dropping identification.
Since all fear is to protect an identification with something that is impermanent and unreal to start with.
Remove false identifications, and false attachments,
Whatever happens only disillusions you.
Let everything that happens be an opportunity to free yourself via. disillusionment and take you closer to transcendence.
Let everything be a stepping stone to take you closer to freedom and realization of your true nature.
The yo-yoing between the forces of life and death,
For the individual and collective,
Keeps going on.
I am neither life nor death.
Both are a polarity-play happening within me.
There are 1000s of forces in nature,
Existing together like a forest.
The forces of fear are seductive.
They transfix your attention with their seductive draw,
Towards horror/terror/paranoia/helplessness.
Why give so much limelight to those forces alone?
Why give that so much undivided attention, against everything else?
Life and Death are only appearances,
Your true nature is beyond both.
“Fear takes us out of ourselves,
And absorbs us into the object of fear.”
Like when a person holds a gun at you,
All of your attention transfixes itself on the gun.
These threatening elements will always be there,
In good times they might go into full remission,
And in other times they may come out in this way,
Attempting to seize everyone’s attention.
However these are just one of the elements,
And have their own place in this grand play of life.
They are part of the polarity-play between: Fear and Safety,
The spin of the yin and yang.
Dropping fear ultimately is only from dropping identification.
Since all fear is to protect an identification with something that is impermanent and unreal to start with.
Remove false identifications, and false attachments,
Whatever happens only disillusions you.
Let everything that happens be an opportunity to free yourself via. disillusionment and take you closer to transcendence.
Let everything be a stepping stone to take you closer to freedom and realization of your true nature.
Sex would not have issues if there was enough love
The whole sex issue would not exist at all if there was enough love.
If there was enough love:
# The woman would love the man, and will freely receive him, allowing him to fully express himself to her physically.
# The man would freely love the woman, and will fully give himself physically to her.
This would not apply just to sex, which is one of the needs.
It would extent to everything.
Needs will be sensed naturally by the other and fulfilled without any force/violence.
There would be no resistance at all from either side, from the yin or yang.
The yang would pour itself into the yin whole-heartedly.
The yin would receive the yang whole-heartedly.
Creating an eternal dance.
Think of the ideal child and mother relationship.
The mother senses the needs of the child naturally, and effortlessly attunes herself to the child.
Supposing this was less that ideal, what would happen?
The child would have to struggle, cry, scream, beg, plead, throw things, and try to desperately get attention, because it is helpless to fulfill itself.
If nothing worked, it would feel powerless and despaired, and just resign.
Now would such a child have ANY TRUST in the world?
The trust in the world really begins from the mother.
That would be a different topic to explore.
A man represents potential/shiva/power.
A woman represents projection/shakti/creation.
A man rejecting woman = potential rejecting creation.
A woman rejecting man = creation rejecting potential.
If there was enough love:
# The woman would love the man, and will freely receive him, allowing him to fully express himself to her physically.
# The man would freely love the woman, and will fully give himself physically to her.
This would not apply just to sex, which is one of the needs.
It would extent to everything.
Needs will be sensed naturally by the other and fulfilled without any force/violence.
There would be no resistance at all from either side, from the yin or yang.
The yang would pour itself into the yin whole-heartedly.
The yin would receive the yang whole-heartedly.
Creating an eternal dance.
Think of the ideal child and mother relationship.
The mother senses the needs of the child naturally, and effortlessly attunes herself to the child.
Supposing this was less that ideal, what would happen?
The child would have to struggle, cry, scream, beg, plead, throw things, and try to desperately get attention, because it is helpless to fulfill itself.
If nothing worked, it would feel powerless and despaired, and just resign.
Now would such a child have ANY TRUST in the world?
The trust in the world really begins from the mother.
That would be a different topic to explore.
A man represents potential/shiva/power.
A woman represents projection/shakti/creation.
A man rejecting woman = potential rejecting creation.
A woman rejecting man = creation rejecting potential.
Yin and Yang of life and about myself
In the initial phase of our lives, we are totally yin (like sponge).
In the later phase of our lives, we become yang.
That is the transition.
That is the cycle:
# Absorption -> Emission.
# From taking -> to giving.
# We prepare to join society in the initial part of our lives. -> And then join society and yang in the next part of our life.
That is how society views us anyways from its perspective.
That is why it is set that:
# 0-25 = Education
# 25-60 = Work
[My body’s survival/thriving depends on all the physical forces.
My mental survival/thriving depends on all the mental forces.]
But what I have learned is beyond society -> And what I want to give is beyond society.
I work on enriching, illuminating, and healing souls.
About myself:
# During my yin = I have seen far more.
# And now in my yang = I want to give back far more than society can see.
I have always had ethereal vision -> and now I have the capacity for ethereal action.
My home element is “ETHER” = the world of imagination/magic/states of consciousness/vibes/music/feels.
The 5c circuit(from 8 circuit model of consciousness – Timothy Leary) was my starting and home.
My identity has always stayed transcendent of the 1st 4 circuits:
# Instinctive
# Dom-sub/pleasure-pain
# Mental(reality tunnels)
# Socio-sexual circuit
For me, my Yang was greatly suppressed in my interaction with society/world.
That is why I live like a hermit.
Because really I am a transformer.
And society is not exactly at a Renaissance to welcome me in -> It has from day 1 opposed me.
This is my deep breath(in and out) in this plane of existence on earth.
# A deep inbreath in the first part of my life until 31 (0-30 = 30 years)
# A full outbreath in the second part of my life until maybe my death at 80 (30-80 = 50 years)
The true situation I feel I am in is like:
# Life of a pi – Boy vs wild animals
# Country of the blind – Man with eyes vs. blind village
# Jungle book kind of situation – Mogli with the forest animals.
# I am legend – A single man surrounded by million zombies everywhere.
# Planet of the apes – The apes civilization dominating and marginalizing everyone else.
# Like members outside the Matrix – Morpheus, neo, trinity, and other crew members.
# Like Elsa in Frozen – Living in the ice palace far away.
These analogies are a bit exaggerated, but they help to convey the way I have always felt.
(c = chakra)
# My true identity = 7c = the potential/unmanifest field.
# My Yin = 6c perception = mother
# My Yang = 5c writing/speaking/sharing = father
I live in the supernal triad of the soul = I have always lived with great contact with soul consciousness.
The dark night of the soul is: Really my true identity in 7c bringing me back home to itself from being lost in the 6c imagination.
Whatever I present to society, must be on its terms, else its members will not take it, and may even attack/marginalize me.
I have no duty or anything towards society, that is all a lie told from society’s perspective which pulls all people by its strong gravity of guilt/responsibility etc. -> it is all lies.
The greatest gift I have to offer is my own vision, integration, and natural unfolding.
I will be a celebration of my own nature, and if society wants a part of it, I will joyfully share it.
Else I will happily live in a hermetic way till the end of my life.
In the later phase of our lives, we become yang.
That is the transition.
That is the cycle:
# Absorption -> Emission.
# From taking -> to giving.
# We prepare to join society in the initial part of our lives. -> And then join society and yang in the next part of our life.
That is how society views us anyways from its perspective.
That is why it is set that:
# 0-25 = Education
# 25-60 = Work
[My body’s survival/thriving depends on all the physical forces.
My mental survival/thriving depends on all the mental forces.]
But what I have learned is beyond society -> And what I want to give is beyond society.
I work on enriching, illuminating, and healing souls.
About myself:
# During my yin = I have seen far more.
# And now in my yang = I want to give back far more than society can see.
I have always had ethereal vision -> and now I have the capacity for ethereal action.
My home element is “ETHER” = the world of imagination/magic/states of consciousness/vibes/music/feels.
The 5c circuit(from 8 circuit model of consciousness – Timothy Leary) was my starting and home.
My identity has always stayed transcendent of the 1st 4 circuits:
# Instinctive
# Dom-sub/pleasure-pain
# Mental(reality tunnels)
# Socio-sexual circuit
For me, my Yang was greatly suppressed in my interaction with society/world.
That is why I live like a hermit.
Because really I am a transformer.
And society is not exactly at a Renaissance to welcome me in -> It has from day 1 opposed me.
This is my deep breath(in and out) in this plane of existence on earth.
# A deep inbreath in the first part of my life until 31 (0-30 = 30 years)
# A full outbreath in the second part of my life until maybe my death at 80 (30-80 = 50 years)
The true situation I feel I am in is like:
# Life of a pi – Boy vs wild animals
# Country of the blind – Man with eyes vs. blind village
# Jungle book kind of situation – Mogli with the forest animals.
# I am legend – A single man surrounded by million zombies everywhere.
# Planet of the apes – The apes civilization dominating and marginalizing everyone else.
# Like members outside the Matrix – Morpheus, neo, trinity, and other crew members.
# Like Elsa in Frozen – Living in the ice palace far away.
These analogies are a bit exaggerated, but they help to convey the way I have always felt.
(c = chakra)
# My true identity = 7c = the potential/unmanifest field.
# My Yin = 6c perception = mother
# My Yang = 5c writing/speaking/sharing = father
I live in the supernal triad of the soul = I have always lived with great contact with soul consciousness.
The dark night of the soul is: Really my true identity in 7c bringing me back home to itself from being lost in the 6c imagination.
Whatever I present to society, must be on its terms, else its members will not take it, and may even attack/marginalize me.
I have no duty or anything towards society, that is all a lie told from society’s perspective which pulls all people by its strong gravity of guilt/responsibility etc. -> it is all lies.
The greatest gift I have to offer is my own vision, integration, and natural unfolding.
I will be a celebration of my own nature, and if society wants a part of it, I will joyfully share it.
Else I will happily live in a hermetic way till the end of my life.
Notice everyday cycles
Notice everyday cycles:
# Intake, Outgive (word was coined by me)
# Yin, Yang
Cycles for the different chakras and elements:
(c = chakra)
# Food, Poop = Earth = 1c
# Water, Pee = Water [Sexual release is optional I feel] = 2c
# Feeling, Moving = Fire = 3c
# Inbreath, Outbreath = Air = 4c
# Listening, Writing/Speaking = Ether (Sound/Vibration) = 5c
# Perception, Thinking = Thought = 6c
# Asleep, Awake = Consciousness = 7c
# Intake, Outgive (word was coined by me)
# Yin, Yang
Cycles for the different chakras and elements:
(c = chakra)
# Food, Poop = Earth = 1c
# Water, Pee = Water [Sexual release is optional I feel] = 2c
# Feeling, Moving = Fire = 3c
# Inbreath, Outbreath = Air = 4c
# Listening, Writing/Speaking = Ether (Sound/Vibration) = 5c
# Perception, Thinking = Thought = 6c
# Asleep, Awake = Consciousness = 7c
Masculine or Feminine is relative to each interaction
Colloquially male or female denotes sex/gender and there are some typical characteristics associated with the genders.
Here I am presenting something more abstract, focusing on masculine and feminine on the lines of yang-yin and as a spontaneous polarization dance that happens.
Here, whether you are [male or female] is specific to [each interaction].
Think of it in terms of [energetic forces].
It is a polarization that materializes/arises and passes depending on the energy interaction.
Like a dance emerges with the stronger force passing over transformation to the smaller force.
Some examples:
If I am chiseling wood – I am masculine, the wood is feminine
If a woman takes care of her infant – The woman is masculine, the infant is feminine
If you are listening to a great speech – The speaker is masculine, you are feminine.
If you are conveying a specific point to someone – You are masculine, the listener is feminine.
…And so on
Equivalent Spectrums:
Masculine ——- Feminine
Giving ———- Receiving
Potter ———- Clay
Energy ———- Matter
Transformer —– Transformed
Yang ———— Yin
Speaker ——— Listener
Spirit ———- Matter
Unmanifest —— Manifest
Here I am presenting something more abstract, focusing on masculine and feminine on the lines of yang-yin and as a spontaneous polarization dance that happens.
Here, whether you are [male or female] is specific to [each interaction].
Think of it in terms of [energetic forces].
It is a polarization that materializes/arises and passes depending on the energy interaction.
Like a dance emerges with the stronger force passing over transformation to the smaller force.
Some examples:
If I am chiseling wood – I am masculine, the wood is feminine
If a woman takes care of her infant – The woman is masculine, the infant is feminine
If you are listening to a great speech – The speaker is masculine, you are feminine.
If you are conveying a specific point to someone – You are masculine, the listener is feminine.
…And so on
Equivalent Spectrums:
Masculine ——- Feminine
Giving ———- Receiving
Potter ———- Clay
Energy ———- Matter
Transformer —– Transformed
Yang ———— Yin
Speaker ——— Listener
Spirit ———- Matter
Unmanifest —— Manifest
Journey to the Abstract 