Clarity and Complexity

I had a dream in the afternoon where I just felt so sure/assured/totally confident about one small thing.
And this kept on playing again and again in my mind like a loop, and then I woke up.
So this sent me back to the drawing board to contemplate on the nature of life/reality/god/self.

I wanted to structure what happened to me in a larger context/perspective.
I do this all the time, start from scratch and create a new fabric of meaning.
It is a kind of primordial creativity, that I really enjoy giving expression.
So here is my articulation of my thought process.

In the dream there was an immense feeling of certainty for an extremely narrow idea, and it kept on repeating until I woke up.
I think, this is a case of: “clarity + simplicity”
Whereas, for phenomena like mystical experiences of profound certitude, it would be a case of: “clarity + complexity”
Both of the above can also be seen as:
Simple order/harmony/integration —–vs—- Complex order/harmony/integration
An old Nokia 3100 phone (from the early 2000s) —-vs—- An IPhone XS today
Both the devices can work great, be fully functional, and integrated in their design. But what a difference there is, in their complexity!
So this would be a good analogy for: my looping simplistic certitude dream vs. a revelation of profound implications felt in the waking state.

My experience of reality nowadays

I experience reality nowadays as a “changing/shifting ocean of sensation”.
In this ocean, various waves arise, from various apparent centers of consciousness that get formed, and various potentials are then available for various thoughts/feelings/emotions from these centers.
Another way to put it would be, my experience is like the movie “waking life”, i.e. like an endless moving lucid dream.
Another analogy would be, my experience is like a movie that is playing all the time, and I alternately engage with it in various ways, and then disengage in various ways, to come back and engage with…and so on.
I do not have much enduring identity day to day.
And my sadhana/effort is to return whatever remnant identity is there to the ocean.
I feel like I am a witness, that witnesses the whole changing ocean of relationship, where an “apparent I” and an “apparent world” appears and keeps shifting.
It always feels real in the moment, just like a dream feels real, but I also know that everything can change from my own memory of that happening a zillion times.

My experience is like the mantra AUM along with the pause.
Pause = the recharge of inspiration/energy.
Drawing the formless/unmanifest to form/manifest potential.
Expression in form/manifest.
Aaaaaa = Waking
Uuuuuu = Dreaming
mmmmmm = Sleep
Pause = the recharge of energy.
…and so on.

Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous system


There is downward energy flow = para-sympathetic nervous system(psns) = sleep(surrender, rest, relaxation)
And upward energy flow = sympathetic nervous system(sns) = doing (includes all attention, consciousness, thinking, moving)
These are 2 energy flow directions.

The self/ego (conventional) = sns (it is an identification with a certain activity of ‘doing’/verb).
When satisfied or exhausted – psns takes over and sleep happens.
Highest sns/Lowest psns = highest waking point(waking)
Low sns/High psns = dreaming
Highest psns/Lowest sns = deepest sleep point(deep sleep)

sns = pingala = male = doing = solar = order = anti-entropy = motivation = seeking = waking/dreaming = left brain
psns = ida = female = relaxing = moon = chaos = entropy = de-pression = assimilating = sleep = right brain
sushumna = harmonizing = transparent = transcendent pov = neither wake nor sleep = turiya = corpus callosum(brain)