Mistaken essence is the cause of sorrow/suffering.
There is only God/Brahman/Field/Consciousness.
That is the only essence.
All else that is experienced is the play of this singular essence.
So no part of what is seen is essence.
The mistake is to mistake any part of this play to be essence.
It is like gold that is continuously being remodeled and smelted.
Here gold is the essence, and all of the ornaments made with it are subject to change.
So no ornament-form is essence.
Similarly no form in existence is essence.
Essence is formless and quality-less,
And it is not graspable as an object.
One can only be it and experience it directly.
Another analogy would be a VR game,
Where only the “hardware/software/power” are real.
The rest of experience is just the play-out of those 3 as the flow of time.
This is analogous to our essence play as the BME (Body, Mind, Energy) process in time.
No thing is real, and no thing exists.
Only god/brahman/field/consciousness exists.
The evolution process is the play/dream of this field,
And our individual experience is like a figment of this evolution process.
The mechanics of fear, desire, love, and hate
The mechanics of fear and love,
Is such a massively deep topic to explore.
I often wonder:
Is it possible to really be indifferent?
Is it possible to be without relationship?
Is it possible to really stay separate?
Is it possible to be neutral?
Is it possible to neither love nor hate?
From my intuition, it seems like that is not possible.
Life being a dynamic verb, nothing it still.
So everything has to move towards expansion or contraction?
It feels like that force that maintains and forwards unconsciousness and ignorance,
Is in the hate (contraction) direction,
While the force that maintains and forwards consciousness and knowledge,
Is in the love (expansion) direction.
Since all things are in polarity,
Whatever we invest and expand into, will inevitably disinvest and shrink its opposite?
I see everything is a state of pulsation in nature,
Like the heart beat, expanding and contracting.
Birth is like the expansion influx (like the inbreath),
Death is like the contraction deflux (like the outbreath).
I see birth and death as the alternating pulse between sound and silence.
The sound of creation booms into the manifest as birth,
And at death there is the return to silence/uncreated?
I feel like the experience of life is like music.
With multiple overlayed pulses of all kinds of instrument and voice timbers.
A multidimensional flow of pulses.
So then, both fear and love are as natural as expansion and contraction?
I have noticed that,
I fear all that I have an antagonistic relationship towards.
So maybe the presence of fear itself…,
Is revealing the antagonistic relationship present?
I wonder,
Is fear the ‘anticipatory recreation’ of the experience,
Of the repercussions/reaction from the other,
To my own antagonistic attitude towards the other,
Being mirrored back to me?
So then are fear and love, direct experiences,
Of the mirrored attitudes/relationship we hold towards the other entities we encounter?
Another aspect is self-hatred.
That is a condition where there is a projection of value and worth on the other,
While the self is cast to the shadow of unconsciousness/hate/shame.
There is then a constant focus on the other or on transcending oneself.
So here there are some interesting relationships I see.
When there is self-hatred of one’s body and its strength,
There is fear of other bodies and their strength.
I think here, the fear comes from the war with the conscious and unconscious identifications.
Unconsciously there is identification with the body,
But that is not supported by the conscious identification which is caught up with the other,
So the unconscious identification generates fear as resistance,
When you pursue the other.
So somewhere I wonder,
If we take extreme cases,
Like fear of a ghost/monster,
Is that the dissociated unconscious fragment of us,
That we have disowned,
That is getting attracted to us,
Because of our deeper desire for integration and wholeness?
Isn’t our worst fear that we will become the ghost?
That total assimilation/transformation is the terror.
What will happen to us,
If we let everything in?
Also I used to wonder about the fear of falling.
I have that fear because somewhere I desire to fall like that.
So is my intensity of fear of falling proportional to the intensity of desire I have to fall?
Is the intensity of fear I feel for death proportional to my own desire for death?
Fear and Desire seem inseparable like 2 sides of the same coin.
It seems like each is a resistance to the other.
Desire is a resistance to Fear.
Fear is a resistance to Desire.
Another thing I am reminded of is the story of the beauty and the beast.
The beast gets converted into the prince out of love.
Would this be true for all that fear?
That all that is feared if consciously loved,
Will become flowers from filth?
The ground of filth when nurtured by nature,
Becomes flower and fruit right?
Are all that we love/hate/desire/fear,
Are they all nothing but our own Self?
Supposing we want total wholeness and totally open ourselves up,
To attracting all of the unconscious to us back into our consciousness,
Will it result in a total war and destruction of all of our identity?
Is that what happens in enlightenment?
Is that the ultimate transformation?
The self here is the subset of qualities owned vs. the superset of all qualities in existence.
That division is what created self-other and the concept of relationship itself.
Love-Hate are like Yin-Yang.
The black fish has a white eye,
And the white fish has a black eye.
So total love and total hate do not exist and cannot exist.
Just like no absolute quality can exist without its opposite.
Going into total-hate or total-love,
Will result in transcendence to a dimension beyond duality.
These are some of my contemplations.
I’ll stop here for now.
The 3 levels of knowledge
The 3 levels of knowledge are:
# 1st level: Knowledge based on Belief
# 2nd level: Knowledge based on Logic/Deduction
# 3rd level: Knowledge based on Direct Experience
Knowledge based on belief interestingly is often reasonably well backed.
The belief is generally not totally blind.
For instance, we may place our faith on various qualifications, accreditations, positions, institutions, brands, and so on,
Because they have worked well for us and our friends/relatives so far,
And show no reason to suspect anything.
Here, there is a good reliance on statistics, public opinion, popularity etc.
Knowledge based on Logic/Deduction is a deeper kind of knowledge,
Where we investigate the ideas/concepts/laws for ourselves,
And gain an understanding of all of it by ourselves by objective experimentation.
This is generally the realm of science.
The third level is knowledge based on direct experience.
This is the deepest form of knowledge.
Fields like spirituality, meditation, yoga, mysticism etc. come under this.
Here, you know directly by being/union-ing/becoming whatever it is you desire to know.
This is usually where it starts to sound esoteric and mystical.
Generally, we possess all these 3 types of knowledge to varying degrees.
However we may prize one more than the other.
# A person may feel satisfied relying on trusted and proven authorities,
Who have say also received many great testimonials from relatives and friends.
This would be the 1st level of knowledge.
# A scientific person may prize the 2nd level knowledge the highest,
Where he feels satisfied only after he has grokked the concepts fully by himself.
# Then lastly, there are some people who will not be satisfied until they directly experience something. This is the 3rd level of knowledge.
The initiation into the 3rd level of knowledge, is knowing that you do not know anything.
Then the deeper seeking begins at the 3rd level.
So capability being one thing,
The other difference between these 3 types of people,
Is regarding what level they feel satisfied with.
It is to that degree, that they pursue,
Through the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd level of knowledge.
Each of these levels use different languages,
And they are often dimensionally apart from each other.
# The language of belief based knowledge relies on testimonials, statistics, numbers, reputation, fan following, popularity, general level of crowd-validation and so on.
# The language of logical deduction based knowledge involves: scientific notations, equations, mathematics, labeling of different components, logical symbols, flow charts, relationship diagrams, modeling etc.
# The language of direct experience is like the language used in esoteric, mystical, and spiritual texts. Direct experience is indescribable, so the descriptions that come closest to that belong in this category.
All sadhana is preparation
All sadhana is preparation,
That is, it is the work towards creating the conditions,
For the opening to happen,
And for the bounty of life to be received.
In my understanding,
Karma = Work/Effort/Sadhana that leads you towards or further into bondage/illusion.
Kriya = Work/Effort/Sadhana that leads you towards liberation/freedom.
The 4 personalities and the 4 elements
This is my own intuitive understanding,
Of the 4 personalities types as they correlate to the 4 elements.
The 4 personalities:
# The Rigid personality = Earth element
Quality: Strength
The driving belief: The harder you are, the better it is.
The ideal: The hardest metal (like tungsten)
# The Flow personality = Water element
Quality: Malleability
The driving belief: The more flexible you are, the better it is.
Ideal: The thinnest liquid (lower viscosity like alcohol)
# The Power personality = Fire element
Quality: Transformation
The driving belief: The more fire-power you have, the better it is.
Ideal: Hottest fire (Blue flames), Highest transformative power.
# The Freedom personality = Air element
Quality: Limitless Expansion
The driving belief: The more freedom you have, the better it is.
Ideal: Lowest air density (like the top of snowy mountains)
The animated series ‘Avatar – The Last Airbender’,
Does a brilliant job in representing the myriad dynamics between the different elements.
There are many fascinating interrelationships between these elements.
Here are some:
Water dissolves solids = Lots of emotions, can loosen your rigidity.
Like how after you see a movie with a roller coaster of emotions, you feel more light.
Air can put out fires = Lots of deep thought, can put out passions/desires.
Fire = Passion, Air = Thinking.
A lot of deep and varied thinking could you make you appear a bit stoic, sort of.
Water = Emotions, Earth = Structure/stable.
So very emotional people may appear to be quite unstable.
Because there is no structure to hold the water in any configuration.
While earth dominant people may appear be stable/solid.
Their emotions are directed, controlled, predictable, and stable.
Their water is passed through a specific structure with only specific outlets.
The science of attitude and perception
Every aspect of existence that we see outside,
Has a corresponding component of that within ourselves too.
Perception is from resonance/recognition/alignment.
That is why it is said “You only experience the self, not the world”,
OR “You experience the world only as reflected in your self”.
All perception is a kind of resonance between the outer and the inner.
It is not that the outer and inner are separated in time by a linear process.
They simultaneous spawn,
Like how the dreamer character and the dream environment spawn together simultaneously.
Like for example, if you start to hate some aspect of yourself,
At that very instant, you also simultaneously prime yourself into hating all other potential reminders/representations/symbols/patterns of that aspect from the outside.
This is because, reality is ‘experience’,
And experience is fractal in nature.
What you hold in mind, you see outside.
And what you see outside, you hold in mind.
You see similar motifs/patterns/symbols/representations,
i.e. all that reflect the idea that you are holding.
The outer-inner appear to be in a constant state of transaction.
Sometimes an inner change alters the outer perception.
Sometimes an outer change alters the perception of the inner.
So from this level of perspective,
There is not even a you vs an other or inner vs outer.
It is a single swath that instantly manifests together.
The attitudes I hold towards every aspect of existence,
Multiply themselves infinitely and instantly throughout the entire scape of existence.
When saying ‘The attitudes I hold…’, I was implying that I am the determiner.
But actually, when delving deeper, I see that even these attitudes,
Also seem to be ‘appearances’.
Rather then being something I determine,
They seem to be flowing through and expressing through me.
My ability to alter them or control them,
Seems to be determined by how much energy/power I have,
And my level of perception and dis-identification i.e. whether I can even perceive those attitudes as objects in my awareness.
This energy level is again conditional of sort, again the effect of many other cyclic processes.
To dis-identify from anything, you must first have the power/energy to separate yourself from it and see it as an object.
When enmeshed and identified into something,
Even if you can see this enmeshment,
You need enough power/freq/energy to extricate yourself out of that.
It is similar to how we need enough external force to overcome newton’s first law of inertia.
Generally, you function from a certain station of freq,
While accessing all kinds of states from there.
This I call the LOC (level of consciousness) of the subtle body.
I could say, ‘What you are is where you are seeing from’.
What you do not see, will be something you are subject to, and it will rule you from within.
What you do see, is something subject to you, and can be ruled.
For many people, what I see is that, their life-fires/soul are enmeshed and identified with their genetics (to varying degrees/levels).
It is like they are embedded inside those grids, and therefore all of their life fires only serve the demands of those structures.
They are completely unaware of this, because they identify totally with the feelings/perceptions arising from these grids.
It reminds me of animals, how they function only within 2 lines, only within a certain set pattern.
For human beings, it seems,
The bottom line is similar to reptiles/mammals,
But the top line is super high.
The spectrum is vast and there is enormous potential to rise up in awareness.
To be fully alive
Life is change.
All that does not change is dead.
So total change is total life.
To be fully alive,
Is to be like a fire,
That blazes, sparkles, and dazzles.
Everything you do must change everything,
So as to fall into endless transformation.
Whatever you do must be:
Towards what matters to you the most,
Towards what means the most to you,
Towards what you most deeply feel/desire/care about.
It must transform and change you fully from moment to moment.
Living in a way where the whole moves the whole.
Where all of you is free,
In full power, glory, and splendor.
Living every moment from the creativity,
Of ushering a whole new world at each moment.
Bringing/Gathering all of one at each moment,
Only to fire up and change it all up in the next.
What is health?
Health = ease, happiness, fascination, passion, wonder, focus, curiosity, joy, vigor, vitality, hope, independence, strength, power, capability, usefulness, freedom, lightness, robustness, stability, clarity, fearlessness.
The opposite of health = disease, sadness, weakness/infirmity, depression, lethargy, dullness, scattering, dependence, tiredness/fatigue, hopelessness, despair, futility, powerlessness, incapability, imprisonment, burden, vulnerability, instability, confusion, anxiety/fear.
Impermanence and Cyclicity
# Impermanence – removes the notion of ownership/possession.
# Cyclicity of the nature of time – removes the notion of progress/gain
So, it seems like both ownership and progress are temporary phenomena.
The greatest civilizations rose into order/glory and later fell into chaos/oblivion.
The pain and suffering in life I feel is caused by – Trying to maintain the permanency of our illusions while also trying to make them endlessly progress.
The forward moving tides initially greatly assist us in building whatever we want,
Then the same tides reverse their direction and oppose us until everything is brought to a halt.
Our so called free will seems to be at the mercy of these cyclic larger forces.
We can only have anything or dance according to the terms dictated by these forces.
Generally we try to oppose these forces tooth and nail,
But nature eventually wins and swallows us back into itself at death.
We can prolong our life by various clever strategies,
But eventually, some day, we are forced to yield to death.
And death acts in the same way to all.
Our life as an individual with freedom,
Seems to be a kind of gift or privilege,
Bestowed to us as a possibility by these larger forces.
But whatever is given is also taken away.
The only way out of this I see,
Is to voluntarily merge with the deeper reality,
And gradually transform our individual self in alignment to that.
Every gain is a loss, and every loss is a gain, depending on how you look at it.
‘Psychological meaning making’ is sort of an art.
We are then like artists,
Shaping our experience through every moment,
From wherever we are.
The cycling between the 2 ends of qualities.
Every quality seems to perpetuate itself,
Cycling between the 2 ends of its spectrum,
To create all of the experiences of itself.
It’s like every quality is its own dimension/flavor of experience.
Where the 2 opposites within that quality,
Create the experience spectrum of that quality itself.
Like: Sour ———— Sweet.
Those are the 2 ends of the spectrum of that ‘flavor dimension’.
Other instances:
# The therapist for others, later receives therapy for themselves.
# The one who save lives, later has their own life saved by others.
# The one who bullies, gets bullied later.
# The one who protects others, get protected.
# The one who hurts others, get hurt themselves.
# The one who cheats others, gets cheated over by others.
# The oppressed become the oppressor, then once again the oppressed, and so on.
# The loved one becomes the lover, and then consequently the loved again, and so on.
# The server becomes the served.
# The caretaker becomes the one cared for.
# The one who was subjected to tyranny, then becomes the tyrannizer.
# The one who wonders, makes wonderful things, and that leads to more wonder, and so on.
# The student eventually becomes the teacher.
# The disciple becomes the master.
# The helpful becomes the helpless who is helped.
# The powerful eventually become the powerless.
# The dutiful person, gets others to do their duty towards them too.
All of these things look to be cyclic.
There are these interminable causal cycling chains running from the past,
And thereby causing the current reality.
In general language, we treat the 2 opposites are 2 distinct things.
But actually in reality they are mutually creating each other,
Like how in a tapestry, the same thread runs up and down.
For example, take sadness/despair and joy/hope.
They are both mutually creating each other.
If you fully live through your sadness, you open the way to much more joy.
If you fully work through all of your pain, you pave the way to greater pleasure.
The current life seems like suddenly watching Season 5 Episode 3 of a Drama,
Without having seen any of the previous seasons and episodes.
However the general flavors of the serial can be perceived through any episode.
Each of our lives is like the continuation of one long saga,
From the big bang till today, and still playing out.
Each of us, are riders of eternity.
It is love that makes one seek knowledge at all.
Without love, why would you bother to seek knowledge at all?
So even ignorance itself shows a lack of love.
Journey to the Abstract 