The repression of the reality of death

There is a fundamental imbalance I have noticed as a pattern throughout civilization and society (the one around me now).
Death has not been integrated into Life.
We repress anything to do with death and handle it in a kind of desperate uneasy way, we shield the reality of this as much as we can and when it happens it carries the context of: “What an unexpected tragedy, this should not have happened, this is unfair and sudden, but I will have to do whatever I can to manage this (said despondently)”.
Why should this be the case?
Why is the collective repressing the reality of death?
That I feel is the true elephant in the room that is being repressed.
We all play/act and pretend like it does not exist and we have an implicit agreement to never speak or discuss it unless really needed and only to the extent required.

This collective repression and denial of the reality of death has consequences throughout the ways in which we live our lives.
Every aspect of our lifestyle carries this feature too.
Marriage/new relationships are celebrated, while breakups are looked down upon, like “There must be a mistake, this is really wrong, should not happen etc.”.
Even the word breakup carries such a violent unceremonious negative connotation.
How can creativity flow freely if things once acquired are simply frozen?
Both the processes of acquisition and dissolution are like 2 wings of the bird of freedom/change/creative flow.
We are actually stifling the movement of life by denying the reality of death, because they both need each other for the higher purpose which is flow, expression, and creation.

There is a similar situation with consumer products.
It is so easy to purchase products now with the whole global e-commerce now booming in the online sphere.
But it is at least 10 times more difficult to find information and sell what you already possess. It is even difficult to find useful ways to pass on what you have even free of cost in a way that someone else could benefit and use.
The information is not AS READILY available as when you want to purchase.
There is definitely a gigantic imbalance I see.
There is so much hype about the building of a new product, with all the marketing, first day sales etc.
But the phasing out of old products with proper burial (which in this case might mean, the dismantling and salvaging of all of its raw materials, and reusing or returning it to the environmental cycles efficiently) is not done.
Where does all the garbage go?
It is not recycled and put back to its right place.
There is a right place for everything.
Like even poop forms great manure for trees/plants etc.
So as a result of this, we have an endless accumulation of the garbage created by old products.
Who is going to do the cleanup?
The responsibility is on us, it is our willful ignorance and denial of the reality of death that is the root cause here.
We emphasize creation, but not the efficient passing on of the stuff we have gathered to the next generation, or the proper recycling of stuff back into the environment.
Deep inside, there is a denial of the reality of death, which manifests as a feeling that we will live forever. We never even CONSIDER the reality of our own death.
Only if we did that, would we put effort into the correct recycling of our possessions (RE-CYCLING is the key word, life and death is a cycle, and nature has its own cycles. Ideally we should study these cycles and work in harmony with them.)

This is a collective problem and also an individual problem, as I see it.
There are many other smaller instances of this pattern.
Most of us forward bend far more than backward bend in our lifestyles.
We focus on what to eat and treat it like a ceremony and ritual, but when it comes to poop, we want to get done with it with as little consciousness as possible.
We emphasize work/achievement/building but sideline aspects like relaxation/rest/deconstructing (or we do those things only to get back to our prime focus of work and use it instrumentally).

Experiential Reality needs no proof

There is no proof needed for experiential reality.
The experience and the proof are one.
Because proof is to simply add a certification/validation/confirmatory wrapper over the raw information.
It is an additive layer that gives validity to the whole package – furnishing the package with proof and consequently certifying its validity too.
In experiential reality, the seeing is either present or absent.
If present then no proof is needed, it is already ascertained.

To become aware of something new, is expansion and realization of consciousness itself.
You either see it (realize it) or you don’t.
It is your sensitivity to see it or not.
Most practices are only invitations/favorable conditions to sensitize you to seeing certain spaces/phenomena OR they awaken certain sensitivities lying below your current threshold.

Fractal soul visions

Linear time is within a certain frame of reference staying constant.
Beyond linear time is circular time.
And beyond circular time are eternal higher dimensional realities etc.
It gets more and more abstract.

Sometimes when our visions get abstract enough we can see abstract gestalts/patterns repeating again and again like time running through a mobius strip.

For me, the common themes I wrestle with are between:
– Being and Non-being
– Becoming and Unbecoming
– Ground and Groundlessness
– Knowing and Unknowing
– Striving and Surrender
– Linear time and Non-linear time
– Attainment and Non-attainment
– Order and Chaos
– Enlightenment and Non-enlightenment
– Home and travel
– Knowledge and Innocence
– Reality and Illusion

I can explain some of these things with poetic visions.
Here are some of them below:

Vision 1:


I have 2 choices, stay with what I know (what is in my hand) or the other choice is to jump into an unknown abyss.
I am detached from what I have and so at times I get the courage and jump into the abyss.
Now imagine you fall and fall through the unknown but there is no ground and you land up again at a similar place where you were standing before and again there is the same choice – stick to what is in hand(known) or just into the abyss(unknown).
Again this repeats, I work on letting go of the known in hand and get the courage and jump, and this repeats again and again.
This is the play between knowing and unknowing
It is the play between ground and groundlessness

Vision 2:


Imagine you are in a dream and you are trying to wake up, but every time you think you have woken up you later realize you have still been dreaming. And so you try to wake up again, and once again think you have woken up, only to realize soon after that you are still dreaming and have to work again to wake up.
This is the play between reality and illusion

Vision 3:


I build myself up like a sand structure from the chaos of possibility of the sand on the ground.
I feel I have attained knowledge and being, but soon it falls back to the ground.
Then again I get inspired, and I build another structure, work on it and reach a milestone, only for it to go back to the ground again.
This is like a looping struggle to BE something and not fall back to non-being.
This can be seen as the play of order vs. chaos.
This can also be seen as the play of attainment vs. non-attainment.
It is also the play between becoming and unbecoming.

Vision 4:


Imagine whenever you settled in a place, buy some things, make yourself a home there and create security for yourself, you feel its time to move. You have to move and leave everything behind, go through the grief, and do a similar settlement in your next spot, only for you to again get the impulse to move and do it again.
This is the play between home and travel.

Vision 5:


Imagine you are sitting in a theater seat and watching a movie, and you go through the story with the hero suffering gains and losses. Suddenly you feel it is getting too much and you want to snap out of it and you come back to your theater seat. You realize that you were always in that seat, nothing has really changed, and the whole movie was an illusion. But then shortly after coming back to the theater seat and disillusioning yourself, you see something else interesting in the screen that once again enchants you, and you start to gain knowledge from investment. And this happens again and again.
This is the play between alternating enlightenment and non-enlightenment
This is the play between alternating knowledge and innocence.


Illusion and Madness are relative

What is reality? What is sanity?
What is illusion? What is madness?
The cultural/social/political/consensus way of seeing/interpreting existence forms the core of [REALITY and SANITY].
The most solid/enduring/unchanging formation (relatively speaking).
To diverge from this [consensus state of consciousness] and explore other states of consciousness is referred to as exploring [ILLUSIONS].
Illusions are by definition more fleeting because they are not reinforced and commonly held by the collective.
When this feedback mechanism stops, reality becomes illusion.
The sensory world gives the most consistent and enduring feedback and it is shared by all other sensory creatures. So we feel comfortable to call that the REAL WORLD.
Like you have a dream at night.
It is considered to be the most illusory thing because it is not validated/shared by ANYBODY around you and neither is that validated by the sensory input that kicks in the minute you are awake.
So it seems to me that [ILLUSION/MADNESS] represents reality that is [NOT SHARED], while [REALITY/SANITY] represents reality that is [SHARED].
Like if you imagine a BELL CURVE, anything at the ends of the bell curve slides into ILLUSION/MADNESS, while the CENTER of the BELL CURVE represents the CORE of SANITY/REALITY.

Another way to look at this from the personal level is to look at your own personal conditioning.
When you are in a state of mind that is fully in alignment with your DEFAULT MODE OF EXPERIENCE (CONDITIONED BY YOUR CONDITIONING) – you say you are SOBER/SANE/REAL.
Whereas, when you are in a state of mind that is very different from your usual mode/structure of perceiving existence – you say you are in an ALTERED STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS/IN ILLUSION OR FANTASY.
Like say, to feel HUMAN (the experience of being human in a body) is normal/ordinary/sane/real.
Now, how will you interpret an out of body experience, say you feel like a bird and you are flying? Is it real? Is it an illusion?

To me, this question of real or illusion is more related to SOLIDITY than its PURE REALITY.
It also ties to the question:
What is more real? the visible or the invisible?
OR What is more real? – SOLID? OR LIQUID? OR GAS?
Suppose I release a bunch of smoke and it looks forms a figure.
Would that be less real, than if I showed you the same figure made in stone? or sand?
Usually what I notice is that – the reality of something is associated with its ENDURING-NESS and SOLIDITY.
What is fleeting, relatively unformed/fuzzy/wispy, is referred to as illusion.

In summary, what others call reality and illusion, I see it as:
This is if I consider everything to be an illusion of different degrees.
OR I can also put it as:
This is if I consider everything to be reality in different degrees of enduring-ness.
This kind of breaks the duality between illusion and reality.
Illusion is real and reality is illusion.

A quick attempt to create a model of reality

A quick Model/Ontology of reality from my direct experience:
(I have added references to some kabbalah terms, physical universe analogues)

1 – Unmanifest/ONE (Ain Sof) – 7D

#### FORM/MANIFEST/RELATIVE #### (yin yang, double helix dna)(universe)(Worlds of: Briah, Yetzirah, Malkuth)

2. SOUL REALM (Galaxy super cluster)(Kether/Platonic forms realm) – 6.3D
[Larger context = soul family/galaxy cluster] (6.2D specific family of souls)
Heart/Soul/Desire = Specified Soul DNA(galaxy) = Many lives as many beings context (6.1D specific)
Trans-human archetypes/symbology/mythology/hieroglyphs/motifs/artifacts/codes

Human Creature Biological DNA [larger context: creature family] = incarnation context – 5D specific
Human archetypes/symbology/mythology/hieroglyphs/motifs/artifacts/codes

Socio-cultural-civilizational-locational DNA – 4D
Specific cultural context where creature is born – 4D specific

Specific internalization of family/enculturation/societal conditioning/civilization codes – 3D specific

6. PERSONAS [Masks/Presentations] – 2D
Chosen mask – 2d specific

7. The immediate chosen persona interaction possibility space – 1D
The actual interaction option chosen and happening = 1D specific

Notice that all change is causeless


Where is change coming from?
Feel your ‘consciousness’ and look/see where change is coming from?
From the point of view of ‘being consciousness’, what is changing the contents/scenery/appearances?
Isn’t it just causeless? All coming from nothing(no thing)?

I can even go one more level abstract.
That in truth, “nothing is changing”
The above statement can be seen in 2 ways:
1. ‘NOTHING’ as a noun/the all/the ONE/the whole field -> is -> changing
2. No-‘thing’ is changing, because all things are the same divine light
(like how the LEDs in your screen are always shining in essence and only dancing in degree of brightness causing the dance/music/play that you see on your screen as a video playing or movie.)
Also another fine differentiation I would like to make between ‘is’ and ‘IS’.
IS {The ONE is changing}
The capital ‘IS’ accommodates even the state of changing within it.
So the greatest abstraction object can be: “IS”.

Reality vs. Virtual Reality


If you know something is ‘virtual reality’, would you invest/immerse yourself in it?
Would you allow yourself to believe it?
Would you willingly suspend your disbelief?
No matter how overwhelming and high-def the sensory content provided to you is, will you ever lose sight of the fact that it is virtual/unreal?
OR Will it be like a movie where we can plug in and out of it at will?
In a movie, we make the movie ‘feel real’ by virtue of our INVESTMENT, isn’t it?
So what makes something real or unreal?
So withdrawal of investment implies withdrawal of that reality itself from your consciousness.

Super hi-def Virtual reality that mimics our sensory resolutions will open up a whole new interest in deep metaphysical questions (similar to the feelings Neo had in the matrix movie when he was first shown the nature of reality).
If all REALITY is from our INVESTMENT, then what about this solid reality we experience as the “REAL WORLD”?
Could we call that – our own UNCONSCIOUS INVESTMENT?

I see it as 2 poles:
Movie/VR is conscious investment ——while——- ‘Hard Reality’ is unconscious investment

Even an attempt to change the movie implies investment in the movie.
To “take/claim/redeem” your “power/freedom” back is to redeem your “attention/investment/cathexis” from the unconscious.
I see this as the whole quest of realization and freedom/transcendence.

Reality as a platform for the play of duality

Let’s revisit the various forces at play.
Reality is the platform that supports all of the below force spectrums.
Like imagine each of the spectrums below to be columns in a spectrum analyzer (like the one in your stereo system).
It is in this platform that the music of reality plays.

Supporting forces ————— Opposing forces
Loving forces ——————- Hating forces
Enhancing forces —————- Thwarting forces
Constructive forces ————- Destructive/Scattering forces
Inspiring forces —————– Depressing forces
Pleasurable forces ————— Painful forces
Life forces(with memories of death) ———————— Death forces (with memories of life)
Creative forces —————- Destructive forces
Other serving forces ———– Self-serving forces
Truth telling forces ———– Deception spreading forces
Eros forces ——————– Death drive forces
Forces the synthesize/stitch ———— Forces that analyze/separate
Forces of transcendence —————– Forces of the world
White suns —————————— Black holes
Memory creating forces ———- Memory forgetting forces
Light shining forces ———— Light absorbing forces
Healing forces——————- Disease creating forces
Anti-entropy forces ————- Entropy forces
Forces of becoming ————– Forces of unbecoming
Forces of doing —————– Forces of undoing
Forces the fill you ————- Forces the empty you
Harmonizing forces ————– Disharmony forces
Ordering forces —————– Disordering forces

Desire transcends consciousness itself

Desire is what makes something real.
Desire is what imbues reality to that which we desire.
Desire is the soul.
Desire is what makes us conscious at all.
With the fading of desire, consciousness fades too.
Desire for the world is what makes the world real.
Once desire for the world fades, the previously real world fades into illusion.
It is exactly like how the desire for the movie makes the movie real.
The minute you lose all interest in the movie, the movie is just a light-show, an illusion, and you find yourself back in the theater seat.

Desire = Interest = Investment
Your desire is what gives reality to the world and its objects, to this physical reality, and even to the mental reality.
The ‘world’ is an object in your consciousness.
Desire -> Consciousness[Mind -> Body and World]
Mind is the object of consciousness.
And the body and world are objects of the mind.
Your mental interest makes the body and world come alive.
Lose desire, and you return to the infinite unborn unmanifest emptiness.
Desire is the ‘reality giver’ to all of the manifest in all its forms.
Our desire gives life to the entire world and all its beings.

Madness and Belief


Madness is basically the breach of integrity between the lower reality and the higher, and initiated by the lower.
For example: To believe in separation (the core madness).
Because that belief is out of integrity with the higher reality and therefore veils the higher truth.
Another example: Belief that there is nothing higher than mind blocks all of the higher reality beyond it.
So each belief is a veil.

Belief is madness, and madness is relative.
Every breach between the lower and higher reality is madness.
The worst prison is a closed heart.
It closes itself off to all of the higher reality/field and veils it.

Infinite/Unlimited [A] —-[B]—–[C]—–[D]—–[E] Finite/Limited
B is mad wrt. A
C is mad wrt. B
And so on.
Because B is only one of the possibilities of A, while A is far more expansive.
B looks like a narrow reality tunnel to A.
I could also refer to this as a recursive tunneling of contexts.
Infinite/Unlimited [Universe]——[Galaxy]—–[Solar system]——[Planet]—–[Island] Finite/Limited