Interestingly, in opposing my parents, I get stuck in a even bigger trap.
Lets say, parents want me to be X.
So then the algorithm I use is to BE[Not X]
Which is the same as -(-1) which is NOT = 1, unlike what mathematics may say.
Another way to put it is, a negative[negative] does not make a positive.
It in fact makes it even more complicated than 2x of the original negative.
In the task of opposing something totally I become more limited and narrow than the original thing itself.
I become even more narrow because now I am preoccupied with 3 things:
X, opposing X/finding its opposite, choosing to not be X.
This process is counterproductive because my ultimate reason for this opposition is to be FREE.
But this opposition puts me in an even bigger trap than the original trap of an image being imposed on me.
The solution here seems to be pointing towards LETTING GO of resistance and simply flowing as smoothly and unattached as possible.
In a way, I have further crystallized X by opposing it, when the goal itself was to let go of X in order to be something free’er and larger.
Structuring vs. De-structuring Forces
Good vs. Evil
Right vs. Wrong
Positive vs. Negative
Day vs. Night
Solid vs. Emptiness
Something vs. Nothing
White vs. Black
Improving vs. Degenerating
Existence vs. Non-existence
Birth vs. Death
Known vs. Unknown
Past vs. Future
Voluntary vs. Involuntary
Doing vs. Happening
Inbreath vs. Outbreath
Self vs. Other
Infinite(Ocean) -> Belief Structure(Drop point of view) -> Values(To connect to all other drops with similar values) -> Judgment(The seeing of other drops’ values through the host drop’s values)
“What you value” is the same as “What you want” is the same as “What you Desire” is the same as “Your Interest”.
Value = Want = Desire = Interest = Passion.
Also, Discrimination = Judgment.
To know yourself, is to know your genetic desires/forces, your biological desires/forces, your conditioning created desires/forces.
Everything is a force.
You are a force, interacting with other forces.
There is only a dance of forces.
Knowing yourself is to know your forces – that will enable you to know the most harmonious interaction/relationship possible with the other.
If you don’t know yourself (your forces), then harmonious interaction will be a matter of chance, as you blindly try various experiments with various people.
What will you die for? That represents your transcendent soul value.
The question might be, can I see others without the lens of judgment?
Is there something called “objective seeing”?
The answer to this takes me into esoteric inquiry.
The situation here reminds me of the hologram.
Every point in the hologram contains the whole.
The hologram concept unites: Unity and Multiplicity.
The large number of points present in the hologram represents multiplicity.
Whereas, the fact that each contains the whole represents unity.
Each point sees the whole from its point of view.
So actualization is to see the infinite from your point of view.
So I could probably conclude, we are all evolving towards actualizing and expanding our own point of view (expanding who we are) and relating with more and more of other points of view (expanding our relations).
Another more day to day analogy might be:
We are all basically like different flavors of icecream.
The fact that we are all icecream in essence is the UNITY aspect.
The fact that each of us has a unique flavor is the MULTIPLICITY aspect.
That is why, I am the infinite God, and you are an infinite God too.
I see you in myself, you see me in yourself (total interpenetration of being).
Are you following the divine effortless winds? OR creating winds via. egoic effort?
Often, when there is no divine wind, the ego puts efforts and generates winds to compensate for the emptiness created.
This has the flavor of [draining, suffering, effort, struggle, desperation, pushing].
Its as if you are depleting your reservoir.
Instead I intuit that, when there is no wind, ideally one should just sit, and move only if a causeless wind is present.
I would like to move only from the causeless, and not from any generated force from any structure. Because every structure is a reservoir of divine energy and this stored energy is depleted as the structure exerts its own force and generates winds.
– When you are generating force with belief and investment, you are generating karma.
– When you are generating force, but belief and investment is not there, then it has the background of emptiness and there is no karma. It is like a de-clutched car, still moving from the momentum and structures of winds but without a powering force.
– When you are not generating any force, and when all the modulator wind generating structures (samskharas) have been atrophied and dissolved to just point potentials, you rest in the causeless and are moved only by the causeless wind.
* Karma is nothing but Becoming
* Living in the causeless is like living without becoming anything
* Structures in your consciousness that I speak about, are like entities inhabiting your experience field, that collect divine energy, and then accordingly generate/modulate winds in your consciousness, seeking to grow their structure. They are like viruses that trap divine energy – when the sun shines – and then generate forces from this stored energy in order to further themselves. That is the principle of ego (which is the mothership structure) and samskharas basically.
In a sense, both bullies and victims are disconnected souls.
One has left his home to attack, the other has left his home to defend.
One has left to do a pre-emptive strike, the other has left to defend from such strikers.
Both have left their homes, they are exiles, disconnected, separate, alone.
Existentially in a similar condition of disconnection.
From that perspective, both the bullies and victims are existential victims of separation/disconnection.
The same thing is true in certain kinds of relationship too.
Someone who goes all out, to experience the relationship loses touch with his home. He is at the mercy of the condition of the relationship.
If the relationship is good, he feels jubilant, else if the relationship is bad, his whole experience takes a bad turn.
He gives himself entirely to the mercy of the relationship.
Such a person does not have his home support/comfort/security/strength behind him, the relationship means everything to him until it lasts.
He holds on to it for his life, since that is the last straw he is grasping onto.
Such people, who abandon themselves to seek relationship, have in a sense always been lost from the get go and are trying to find home/safety/happiness/security via. the relationship, but the truth is, they can only find that if they return home.
The relationship does little to relieve this person of his background condition of being away from his home.
The interesting part here is, there is no good and bad apart from perspective.
This experience of being the outcast lost soul, can be seen as a unique and sublime experience by itself. It is the beauty of the sheer adventure of it and the extreme heights and risks such a person takes to find his comfort/security/happiness.
If I was a soul, if I was given a choice between a fully secure home connection vs. this adventure of disconnection and finding home, I could have very well chosen the latter happily.
After all, the happiness of home is only when you have traveled everywhere in deep insecurity and longing.
Habit(morphogenetic field, continuity, matrix)—————————Novelty (that which breaks it)
Order (Anti-entropy)—————————–Disorder (Entropy)
They both go together like [self———other]
Evolution/Realignment from objective to the subjective – “what you think is what is true”
Its like “You see what you want to see”, “The reality you experience is exactly what you are holding on to (what you want, what you choose, what you desire)”
Then if everything is subjective, then what is the use of knowledge??
If everything is a dream, then what is the use of knowledge??
Knowledge then is for pleasure/transformation(which is deep pleasure), something you seek because you desire it, a potential available to you.
Knowledge is a modulator of reality.
Knowledge is exactly like food.
Hunger for knowledge is exactly like hunger for food.
Hunger and pleasure are stages within transformation.
Hunger for transformation ——-Gathering Material —— Consumption of material ——- Satiation——-Processing ——–Digestion/Assimilation/Absorption/Transformation ——New Hunger from transformed contents —- and so on.
By gathering knowledge, you are gathering experiences of specific temporal modulations(patterns) of reality.
These patterns of reality then cause a deeper transformation at a deeper intuitive level, which stays, even as the temporal pattern disappears or changes.
So in the spectrum of:
(tends to infinity) Unchanging ———|Intuitive|————|Experiences|———Changing (movement in visual field)
Nature -> Wind -> Dunes of sand.
Primal Force(god) -> Evolution Force (imprint of Primal Force) -> Genes (Imprint of past evolution)
Each left is a higher dimension version of the force on the right.
Every higher dimensional force has the power to create or dissolute lower dimensional force forms. (Causality is only an appearance in a structure maintained by a higher dimensional force which is free to dissolute or transform it at anytime)
That is why we have: spirit -> soul -> human body and so on.
There is no point fighting anything in the world.
A small little me thrashing around with my energy is useless.
Force is useless and empowering force is useless.
Empowering force only increases the reactivity, thrashing around, struggle against a much larger reality anyways controlled by much larger forces and outside my control.
Rather, I can empower understanding, awareness, the existing flow, and the harnessing the power that is already present.
Everything is already there, one just needs to know how to tap into it and then modulate it using the power/momentum already present.
All attainment is something that can slip away, just like you can only push so hard against an existing condition with your force until you exhaust your power.
You will come back to homeostasis/default/base.
So its much better to practice attuning and flowing with already existing flows, like swimming along river currents to get where you want to.
Frontal opposition against an opponent force or against any force is useless.
It is highly inefficient and wastes colossal amounts of energy.
Rather I would prefer to use flows that are already available.
In fact that is mastery, mastery is about being a perfect conduit and channel for a certain influence that is already present, which you simply fully tap into and modify yourself to take it in fully.
The sign of mastery is when you can do something so effortlessly by perfectly conduiting an influence without using any of your own force.
Humiliation/powerlessness/total defeat/despair is from the ego’s point of view.
From the enlightened point of view, it is a process of dissolution of what is false anyway, the ego.
So from the fading “false point of view” it looks like a nightmare.
But from the point of view of the TRUTH, this process is the very passage/medicine that will take you to freedom.