Tag: Consciousness

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About love, truth, and transformation

Love can be about:
# Others’ seeing your value
# OR you seeing others’ value.
The received love = creates outer success (2c, c = chakra)
Your feeling love and connecting everything to god = inner success (4c)

Generally you receive love, only when you radiate love.
Because really love is ONE.
When you are ONE with love, then others loving you is from their own recognition of that love field.
It is the same archetype that everyone has the potential to recognize and be.

When you are one with what you desire, then that attracts all the others who desire the same.
Because desire in its essence is the very potential, that takes you to your true self.
Desire in its essence is desire for truth itself.
And truth is ONE.
Everyone has a longing for truth, and can recognize this, and are attracted to it.

Love and Truth are synonymous.
Love is Truth and Truth is Love.
You aligning with your truth, simultaneously aligns you to the truth of all that exists.
That is why Buddha said that when he got enlightened, at that very moment all of existence got enlightened.
Because our experience is holographic and fractal in nature.

Talking about it, without fully being it, is one thing —-vs—- Being it fully and then speaking about it is another
When you talk about it, often, it is like you are also trying to sell the idea to yourself.
That is also beautiful in its own way, but it lacks the power of the latter.
It will lack the power and sheer intensity of a fully integrated being doing the same.
The words will lack power, because in such a case, ALL OF YOU is not standing behind it.
You sabotage your own words/actions, from your lack of integration.
Power = Comes from integration and structure.
Without full integration, your every step is only a quarter or half step and the other parts resist each step.

So the whole sadhana is to be the total perfected instrument, of what you truly value.
This process may lead one to a dark night of the soul (dnos).
Transformation = To fall into total chaos, in order for the higher order to emerge.
Consciousness is always of the chaos first.
One is witness to the alchemy and transformation, and one also plays an active hand (or resists) in the process (the short path – dnos) -> but the process goes on anyway because that is your own deeper desire.
You long to be transformed, and the process is simply a reflection of that longing carrying you to your destination.
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My experience of reality nowadays

I experience reality nowadays as a “changing/shifting ocean of sensation”.
In this ocean, various waves arise, from various apparent centers of consciousness that get formed, and various potentials are then available for various thoughts/feelings/emotions from these centers.
Another way to put it would be, my experience is like the movie “waking life”, i.e. like an endless moving lucid dream.
Another analogy would be, my experience is like a movie that is playing all the time, and I alternately engage with it in various ways, and then disengage in various ways, to come back and engage with…and so on.
I do not have much enduring identity day to day.
And my sadhana/effort is to return whatever remnant identity is there to the ocean.
I feel like I am a witness, that witnesses the whole changing ocean of relationship, where an “apparent I” and an “apparent world” appears and keeps shifting.
It always feels real in the moment, just like a dream feels real, but I also know that everything can change from my own memory of that happening a zillion times.

My experience is like the mantra AUM along with the pause.
Inbreath:
Pause = the recharge of inspiration/energy.
Drawing the formless/unmanifest to form/manifest potential.
Outbreath:
Expression in form/manifest.
Aaaaaa = Waking
Uuuuuu = Dreaming
mmmmmm = Sleep
Inbreath:
Pause = the recharge of energy.
…and so on.
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Exploring the phenomenon of pain

This thought occurred to me on seeing some of the horrible aspects of societal control used in the medieval Europe era.
They all controlled people through pain in some of the most gruesome ways imaginable.
It seems like there is no counter to pain.
There is just transparency. The absence of pain is bliss.
The relief feeling may be experienced as pleasure.
But the absence of pain does not equate to pleasure.
There is enormous potential for pain possible from the structure of the human body itself.
Death and the burning of the body after, removes all those possibilities of pain because the very structure is released.
It releases THOSE potentials/possibilities of pain permanently because death is like a permanent shift into a subtler state, and physical pain no longer applies just like how water can never be broken like a solid.

The physical apparatus “modulates consciousness energy” according to its structures.
It the play of chemicals, controlled by the physical structures and their cycles.
Every system/contraption/structure resists its dissolution.
So the physical body resists its dissolution via. pain = basically resistance and a loud alarm/cry for you to stop doing what you are doing and take action.

There are different bodies from gross to subtle.
Pain is possible for all bodies.
Grosser the body, more the pain severity possibility and the more limited the pain experience is in its quality. (greater the loss of freedom).
Destruction is usually from gross to the subtle.
e.g.: Hammer on glass. Fist on more tender body parts.
The thing to note here is that actually this is not gross to subtle, but more of robust gross on fragile gross.
The hardest bones like fist/instep/elbow/knee OR ruler/stick/whip/stone against the softest unguarded parts of the body.
The more the differential here, the more gruesome it is.
Like it is really gruesome to watch a 10 ft large stone fall from a height and crush a man.
Because the differential is greater between hardness and softness.

A more thorough and intense destruction happens from subtle to gross, like an atom bomb, acid dissolving, damage of fire, which can actually do far more deep/pervasive/thorough damage.
Ether > Air > Fire > Water > Solid = In terms of its thoroughness of destruction and penetration power.

Various Natural calamities are threats to us in various ways:
Temperature: Heat waves, Ice Age, Solar flares
Earth: Earthquakes, Sinkholes, Volcanoes, Landslides
Wind: Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Cyclone, Gales
Snow: Blizzards, Avalanche
Sand: Sand storms
Rain: Rainstorms, Hail storms, Cloud burst rains
Foreign body: Asteroid
Water: Tsunamis, Floods
Electricity: Thunder
Others: Quick sand, Wild animals, Trees falling.
Interstellar: Supernova, black holes.

All the elements like the air, earth, fire, water have destructive capacities:
[Air = Tornado, massive gale, cyclone
Hot air = Scalding/burning
Cold air = Stinging]
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[Water = Tsunami, flood, drowning/crashing
Ice = Freezing/Numbing
Steam = Scalding
Acid = Corroding, Charring, Melting]
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Fire = burning/roasting/vaporizing/disintegrating
Earth = the most painful physical injury from blunt/pulverizing/smashing/crushing/impaling OR pointed/shearing/tearing/poking/ripping/cutting impacts

Every structure is subject to so many elemental threats from existence/nature/earth/planet/other life(elemental forms) etc.
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And there is also destruction from other organic life, both microscopic and macroscopic.
We are prey for many animals, and we are also hosts for a plethora of microorganisms.
The whole predator-prey equation comes in here.

Each time the integrity of nature’s structure is disturbed there is pain and hurt.
We love all the things that heal us (pleasure us), and we hate all the things that break us (pain us).
Survival and Thriving of the body is greatly prioritized in consciousness.
Every being wants to live and thrive.
Generally moving of identification to subtler structures, gives you more security and vision power.

People are generally controlled by pain.
(c = chakra)
# The pain of lies/delusion/ignorance/preventing access to real knowledge (societal control 5c).
# The pain of taking away loved/desired/cherished objects from you (societal control 4c).
# The pain of shame/alienation/ostracization/banishment (societal control 3c).
# The pain of humiliation/guilt/fear/subjugation (societal control 2c).
# The pain of physical punishment/torture/imprisonment (societal control 1c).

So until there is total disidentification with EVERYTHING, fear is inevitable, and total freedom is an impossibility.
By disidentifying, you are basically setting the thing free.
Disidentification with the grosser layers, lands you into the subtler layers.

The world of threat you find yourself in, depends on your identification.
# A physical identity only concerns himself with physical threats.
# An emotional identity may concern themselves with ghosts, threats from the occult etc.
# A mental being may concern himself with mind control forces, forces of false information and knowledge etc.
# A spiritual being may concern himself with delusions, illusions, false beliefs, madness, discerning truth from falsehood, identifying the, wrong directions, and so on.
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Sanity is relative

The concept of sanity is relative.
Relative to the:
1. Level of vision
2. Level of perception
4. Level of consciousness (LOC concept from David Hawkins)
5. Number/breadth/height of perspectives you can see
6. The dynamic range of perspectives you can hold at a time
7. The extent of your spatial vision
8. The extent of your temporal vision both forward (future) and backward (past)
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Perception is holographic

hologramperception

Perception is always of a relationship.
The relationship between ‘You’ and the ‘Object’.
But your relationship to an object, is really your ‘relationship’ to the ‘relationship to all other objects’.
Because the definition of any object is itself = its relationship to all other objects.
The object is like a crystal ball that shows you its relationship to all other objects, which becomes the object itself.
So the more object relationships, and object relationship networks you know, all that adds to the detail of the single object you are perceiving right now.
So knowledge(of relationships to a set of objects say) enhances your perception of all other objects.
This is because in that object, crystal ball, you see your own knowledge reflected from its point of view, disguising itself as the object itself.
That is why perception itself is holographic.

A hologram is always whole, right?
Similarly consciousness is always whole.
When you were a child, consciousness was the same whole essence, right?
Now as an adult, the consciousness is the same whole, is it not?
What has really changed?
The difference is in memory and knowledge.
And this makes you see a lot more in every single object.
Because all this memory and knowledge is reflected back to you through your perception of each and every object, which does not exist as such, and is only a reflection of its relationship to all other objects.
So when we talk about the whole field of consciousness, it always exists.
It is like a perception of an unbounded holographic space.
As you grow up, what is added here is a lot more detail, clarity, more objects, and more relationships = conventionally referred to as memory and knowledge.
But the fundamental unbounded consciousness is still the same whole, albeit with a lot more detail, distinction, clarity, and richness.
It is like moving from a blurry video of 144p in youtube and progressively increasing the clarity until 4k is reached.
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Parallels between life and dreams

I have had 1000s of lucid dreams in my life,
Some of my takeaways from these dream experiences are:
# If you control the dream strongly it will fade to black very soon.
Your lightest touch of will/intent/emotion will keep the dream running the longest.
# After it fades to black, you have to just relax into the darkness and stay still, and then after a while the next potential dream emerges out of it.
I have at max gone through 10+ dreams this way.
Where a dream happens – you control it gently – and then it fades to black – you then stay still in the blackness – and the next one emerges and once again you participate – and so on.
Maintaining the thread of awareness through a series of lucid dreams is a subtle art of delicate control that is so much in harmony, that it is almost like non-control.
Similarly it is also possible to lose yourself into a dream if you get too involved and thereby lose your lucidity and get absorbed into its themes, and this would end that series of lucid dreams.

I see many parallels between my waking life and my dream life.
In my everyday life, each time I get up, I am a new person, in a new context, in a new energy space, in a new frame of mind.
I feel pulls in various directions, either external or internal.
Then I respond to the pulls based on conditioning/habits/likes/intentions etc. and then as I give into one of them, I get engaged in various activities/research/exploration/learning/contemplations etc. and then the investment energy gently fades, and then I either subtly shift my theme of activity to another one OR I just go back into the space/womb/ocean of ‘superposition of possibilities/void/chaos of various pull and push pulsating forces(like the ocean water undulations)’.
Then some wind of inspiration EMERGES out of this ‘possibility chaos’ and then rises up like a wave and carries me in its perspective/vision/feelings/quests etc.
And once that wave completes, I once again return to the ‘oceanic chaos of possibilities’.
I feel this is so similar to my dream.
The fading to void is like returning to the “chaos of possibilities”.
And the emerging of the dream is like the waking interests arising in me that move me.

I experience boredom, as a resistance to that state of “primordial chaos of possibilities”.
It is the longing/attachment to inhabit the coherence of a wave moved by the whole ocean vs. just being in a state of aimless undulation moving back and forth in the same place.
This then led me into contemplating further.
What is death really? Is it not the fading of THIS dream?

The whole thing is fractal.
There are cycles within cycles within cycles, and so on.
There is an infinite nesting of contexts.
There are contexts inside contexts inside contexts, and so on.
There is a dream within a dream within a dream, and so on.
My early childhood life, school life, college life, work life etc. were like different dreams, within the larger dream of my identity dream (once I identified myself in the mirror and by name).
I could also divide it as: Childhood, Teenage years, Early adulthood, Middle adulthood etc.
And all of this is coming from my mind DREAMING all of this up RIGHT NOW.
This makes me wonder! What is this great dream we are in?
What am I outside of this dream of my identity?
Am I not the ocean itself? from where this dream of me arose?

Right now, I am riding this dream wave of writing this post.
At the end of this post, this wave would have gone back into the ocean.
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Desire as the root of consciousness/life/experience

Everything is dependent on desire.
Like you will work on relationships say, only if you desire relationship.
And only then does the whole structure of relationship etc. matter to you.
Else without that desire, the whole thing drops away and even falls out of consciousness/experience.
So desire drives consciousness.
Desire is the potential force that manifests consciousness.
It is this ‘desire’ that is called ‘love'(as I see it).
Total Non desire = No consciousness/No experience

And, there are infinite desires/desired possibilities, so this play of desire is what aligns you to structuring frameworks that shape you in their image (like being a body on earth bound by physical laws and body structure laws etc.), and consequently powers structures/investments/and their expansion into the larger structures with activities such like “aligning, harmonizing, changing” and so on.
If all I desire is source, then all other relationships/investments drop off.
The very consciousness of them drops off. Because consciousness needs desire.
The desires drop off not only from the investments, but from the structures themselves, and even from the larger structure creating mechanisms/matrixes themselves.
This can be seen as the moving away of desire from maya.
The relinquishing of desire from ALL of MAYA, draws all your desire back to its source, which ends desire, and also ends consciousness/experience itself.

This is the journey from: Jivaatma(Moon) —-to—– Paramatma(Sun)
To drop the accumulated-maya(karma) of the jivaatma and to get back its full merger into its source.
It may then emanate again as a fresh inspiration ray from the sun and once again participate in the grand maya matrix in a different role and different context.

Now a bit more about Maya:
Maya I see as multiple interlocking intertwined interdependent relational hierarchical heterarchical lattice matrix webs of patterning structures.
And these range all the way from the Grossest to the Subtlest.
Flouting those subtle energetic fields: brings instant resistance and pain – for e.g. in the social structure it is felt as being a misfit, awkwardness etc.
And in the physical world, you will injure your body if you flout the rules of the matrix of physical laws.
And fields inherently carry expectations(expectations first to BE and then the expectations to DO).
So say in the social world the individual people tuned into that field do not really exist, but are like bio-computers tuned to that field.
So the tyranny is from the field and the individual people tuned into that only execute it as its agents and appear as tangible feedback coming to you for the way you are and the way you act.
When something is loved, it is a blessing/treasure —else—– that very same thing is a oppression/prison/tyranny.

When one gets tired of ALL maya, the desire withdraws more and more from maya into subtler and subtler levels until the only desire is to return to the source. Then the desire is not for consciousness but for non-existence and a freedom from life itself. Because really you can have freedom from death only if you also have freedom from life also, because the 2 are simply dual pairs.
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The real YOU is the field itself

The you is only part of YOU.
The YOU[field(you)+field(-you)]
you are only an appearance within YOU.
The other/world appears as outside of you, but actually it is [YOU-you]
The YOU is the field itself AND all explicit consciousness in it and the implicit structure that creates that explicit projection.
The implicit structure and the explicit consciousness arise together and are mutually interdependent (independent+dependent).
‘you’ can take any role in the field possibilities.
But if ‘you’ do then the field will balance it by making the others around you take up the opposite roles to bring back the field’s structure.
So changing the ‘you’ to another role taken by the ‘other’ in your field does not change much except the point of view(pov).
You will still live in a similar reality seeing the same essential stuff just from a different pov ‘you’.
So transcendence is to free the field itself, the entire field of consciousness.
So that all the ‘you’-‘other’ fixed networks/patterns/possibilities in it are freed.
The field first fills itself – your descend into the world(say, this world) of form – along with an apparent ‘you’ inside it, that lives among apparent ‘others’ outside it.
Then the field empties itself – your ascent into the world(nirvana world) of the pure field.
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Experiential Reality needs no proof

There is no proof needed for experiential reality.
The experience and the proof are one.
Because proof is to simply add a certification/validation/confirmatory wrapper over the raw information.
It is an additive layer that gives validity to the whole package – furnishing the package with proof and consequently certifying its validity too.
In experiential reality, the seeing is either present or absent.
If present then no proof is needed, it is already ascertained.

To become aware of something new, is expansion and realization of consciousness itself.
You either see it (realize it) or you don’t.
It is your sensitivity to see it or not.
Most practices are only invitations/favorable conditions to sensitize you to seeing certain spaces/phenomena OR they awaken certain sensitivities lying below your current threshold.
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Some of the vain myths that may occupy the sexual chakra

LOC = level of consciousness (a term taken from the ‘David Hawkins calibrated Levels of consciousness’)

PART 1: Attraction to LOC 150-175:
Shame core -> Outer raging (to hide the shame).

They believe they are already rejected/shamed, their heart is closed and does not see, but rather only projects its inner reality outward.
Then from that vision, all they see is their hated objects, and they rage at it and try to prove to the world that they are worthy.
They punish everyone else who is attracted to them, by “impossible demands” -> purposely to take out the rage.
It is a “vengeance” life. All of their outer life is about proving to the world their worth and being vengeant towards the world.
This is purposely done, so that intimacy is never achieved.
They prove in a self-fulfilling prophecy: “[internal shame + internal distrust of the world + They believe the world is unfair/not good] -> and then project that vision, and then rage/attack at it for not being so while also trying to prove to the world that they are worthy/good/deserve acceptance and love”.
This is a fractal of the [150-175] life negative LOC and it is “self-centeredness/selfishness” only.

I actually love them for their truth, and I can feel myself really wanting to heal their shame by somehow getting through all their attacks, reaching their core and then resurrecting them, and opening their heart.
I feel a strong urge to pass through all their brutal attacks with increasing intensity like a brave martyr/warrior, believing that if I somehow withstood it and reached the core, I could actually reach ‘where they are’ and resurrect that.
But since their heart is closed, the closer I get, I am only more viciously attacked and I have to ultimately retreat, because even if I did reach the core it is futile/pointless.
Their heart is closed, and they are not open to receiving.
The real reason why I abandon pursuit is when I see the futility of it, at that time, I just drop everything.
So all the sexual pursuit and putting up with the abuse, only leads to despair/futility at the end.
These people are actually extremely transparent and simple, there are only 2 layers to them: SHAME on the inside, and emanation of RAGE on the outside.

If you are attracted to a girl or guy with this pattern,
The VAIN MYTH here is that: The person can be resurrected if I tolerate their increasing rage on me until I reach their core and redeem them.
But this is a rescue fantasy again, because only THEY THEMSELVES can release their shame and heal themselves.
I will die a vain death by going into the rage fully. That is why I oscillate between the libido for sacrifice and bearing pain vs. the futility of all of it (ambivalent libido).
The promise of rescue is an illusion and therefore the mission of possible martyrdom and going into the rage is in vain.
Only when they want to heal truly, can the healing happen.
No force in the universe can make them heal otherwise.
A closed heart can only heal if it decides to open itself.
Until then nobody else can open it.
This is the law of: Respect the free will of beings, it can never be breached.
Nobody can ever open a closed-heart, it will only open when it is ready.

PART 2: Attraction to LOC 100-125:

Characteristics: “Dissociated” nihilism mindset of cluelessly fawning and taking refuge under everyone else.
Dissociation, Lostness, Numbness, Fear, Fawning.
The myth of: Rescuing the helpless lost waif, princess in distress.

Here they numb themselves out of reality and live in a dissociated space where everything looks numb and equivalent (nihilism).
The attraction here is to save/rescue/’be the savior’ of the lost/mad soul who has lost its way.
Here again, it cannot be saved, unless it WANTS to be saved.

So the VAIN MYTH here is of:
Rescuing the one who does not want to be rescued, by giving various discourses about ‘truth and themselves’ and teaching them how to see.
Again free will trumps here.
You can only help/save/rescue/’be a savior’ if the person wants to be rescued in the first place.
Only when they have reached that level of maturity and growth will they be willing. Until then you must let them be.
They cannot be forcibly dragged into truth, and must choose it out of their own free will.
Only WHEN WILLING, can they be saved and anyways there would be no resistance/suffering/problems/struggle at all if that were the case.