My Venus is exalted

I have already attained the highest state of venusian love.
My venus is exalted.
That is why the deep pleasure of love songs,
Which stoke those vibrations already inside me.
I’ve already had the highest enjoyment of those vibrational experiences.
I recognize them, I have been in love before.
I have the memories of all those wonders deep inside.
Love/Bliss is a state of being very familiar/intimate to me.
And the songs rekindle those vibrations already in me.
They are all songs that express and celebrate those states of being, those vibrational worlds (heavens?).
The joy of celebration including arts, creativity, beauty, love, joy, ecstasy, fulfillment, satisfaction, and satiation.
Songs “transport” my being to those lost hidden vibrational worlds into REVERIES,
In the enchanted caves of my heart.

The depression and agony I experience at times are super severe,
Because they contrast with these deep enjoyments which I know for certain are possible.
Loss feels severe, only when you have once tasted gain.
The darkness of night is felt, only when you have tasted the light of day.
Leading to the mystic’s divide between: Longing —–and—— Ecstasy.
There is a constant alternation between these 2.
My life process moves along this pendulum swing.

Figuring out my diet is like playing minesweeper


The more empty I keep myself,
And the more mindfully I consume,
The less I eat,
The simpler I eat,
And the more I clearly notice the whole experience,
I can see that food and drugs are the same thing.
Everything alters experience.

The dilemma I face is,
Whatever I eat, has its pros and cons.
Even the super foods work on some days and not on others.
And some stuff feels great one day, and meh on another.
My body is the lab,
And my work is food experimentation,
To find out the best food that is pure bliss.

For now, whatever I put inside me,
When finely finely observed,
Causes some pain or discomfort or the other.
If not immediately, in the following hours.
So it feels like I am playing minesweeper.
I keep trying different controlled experiments,
And mark off all the bomb foods.

Exploring the phenomenon of pain

This thought occurred to me on seeing some of the horrible aspects of societal control used in the medieval Europe era.
They all controlled people through pain in some of the most gruesome ways imaginable.
It seems like there is no counter to pain.
There is just transparency. The absence of pain is bliss.
The relief feeling may be experienced as pleasure.
But the absence of pain does not equate to pleasure.
There is enormous potential for pain possible from the structure of the human body itself.
Death and the burning of the body after, removes all those possibilities of pain because the very structure is released.
It releases THOSE potentials/possibilities of pain permanently because death is like a permanent shift into a subtler state, and physical pain no longer applies just like how water can never be broken like a solid.

The physical apparatus “modulates consciousness energy” according to its structures.
It the play of chemicals, controlled by the physical structures and their cycles.
Every system/contraption/structure resists its dissolution.
So the physical body resists its dissolution via. pain = basically resistance and a loud alarm/cry for you to stop doing what you are doing and take action.

There are different bodies from gross to subtle.
Pain is possible for all bodies.
Grosser the body, more the pain severity possibility and the more limited the pain experience is in its quality. (greater the loss of freedom).
Destruction is usually from gross to the subtle.
e.g.: Hammer on glass. Fist on more tender body parts.
The thing to note here is that actually this is not gross to subtle, but more of robust gross on fragile gross.
The hardest bones like fist/instep/elbow/knee OR ruler/stick/whip/stone against the softest unguarded parts of the body.
The more the differential here, the more gruesome it is.
Like it is really gruesome to watch a 10 ft large stone fall from a height and crush a man.
Because the differential is greater between hardness and softness.

A more thorough and intense destruction happens from subtle to gross, like an atom bomb, acid dissolving, damage of fire, which can actually do far more deep/pervasive/thorough damage.
Ether > Air > Fire > Water > Solid = In terms of its thoroughness of destruction and penetration power.

Various Natural calamities are threats to us in various ways:
Temperature: Heat waves, Ice Age, Solar flares
Earth: Earthquakes, Sinkholes, Volcanoes, Landslides
Wind: Tornadoes, Hurricanes, Cyclone, Gales
Snow: Blizzards, Avalanche
Sand: Sand storms
Rain: Rainstorms, Hail storms, Cloud burst rains
Foreign body: Asteroid
Water: Tsunamis, Floods
Electricity: Thunder
Others: Quick sand, Wild animals, Trees falling.
Interstellar: Supernova, black holes.

All the elements like the air, earth, fire, water have destructive capacities:
[Air = Tornado, massive gale, cyclone
Hot air = Scalding/burning
Cold air = Stinging]
[Water = Tsunami, flood, drowning/crashing
Ice = Freezing/Numbing
Steam = Scalding
Acid = Corroding, Charring, Melting]
Fire = burning/roasting/vaporizing/disintegrating
Earth = the most painful physical injury from blunt/pulverizing/smashing/crushing/impaling OR pointed/shearing/tearing/poking/ripping/cutting impacts

Every structure is subject to so many elemental threats from existence/nature/earth/planet/other life(elemental forms) etc.
And there is also destruction from other organic life, both microscopic and macroscopic.
We are prey for many animals, and we are also hosts for a plethora of microorganisms.
The whole predator-prey equation comes in here.

Each time the integrity of nature’s structure is disturbed there is pain and hurt.
We love all the things that heal us (pleasure us), and we hate all the things that break us (pain us).
Survival and Thriving of the body is greatly prioritized in consciousness.
Every being wants to live and thrive.
Generally moving of identification to subtler structures, gives you more security and vision power.

People are generally controlled by pain.
(c = chakra)
# The pain of lies/delusion/ignorance/preventing access to real knowledge (societal control 5c).
# The pain of taking away loved/desired/cherished objects from you (societal control 4c).
# The pain of shame/alienation/ostracization/banishment (societal control 3c).
# The pain of humiliation/guilt/fear/subjugation (societal control 2c).
# The pain of physical punishment/torture/imprisonment (societal control 1c).

So until there is total disidentification with EVERYTHING, fear is inevitable, and total freedom is an impossibility.
By disidentifying, you are basically setting the thing free.
Disidentification with the grosser layers, lands you into the subtler layers.

The world of threat you find yourself in, depends on your identification.
# A physical identity only concerns himself with physical threats.
# An emotional identity may concern themselves with ghosts, threats from the occult etc.
# A mental being may concern himself with mind control forces, forces of false information and knowledge etc.
# A spiritual being may concern himself with delusions, illusions, false beliefs, madness, discerning truth from falsehood, identifying the, wrong directions, and so on.

On Fear, Contraction, Abuse, and Sociopaths

When there is a threat perceived by the senses (sensory input) we are jolted back into the body.
Have you ever noticed a toddler, how they startle easily?
My hypothesis is that, that is because they are only loosely in their body.
So any loud noise tends to startle them, which is something that jolts them back into the body (contraction impulse).
Abstractly put, the spectrum is:
Fear = Contraction(increased density) ————– Bliss = Expansion (decreased density)
And fear is a response to threat.
Bliss is a response to safety.

Continuous abuse tends to result in habitual contraction which is a result of constantly bracing for the fight or impact.
Mental abuse causes mental contraction.
Physical abuse causes physical contraction.
The labels of mental and physical are cursory, as compared to the base phenomenon happening which is similar – ‘contraction of energy’ or an increasing of ‘density’.
To understand this let’s consider another spectrum:
Finite(infinite density)(1)—————— Infinite(lowest density)(∞)
The greatest fear would be the greatest density/infinite density/singularity/black hole (the left of the spectrum).
The greatest bliss would be infinitely low density that permeates all of existence (the right of the spectrum).

Now, generally sociopaths are created in certain early childhood environments where there is a lot of abuse.
What is normal for a sociopath is abusive to others. It is relative.
So what I mean by abuse here is an exposure to a kind of rough, blunt, high density, and hard interaction.
So the child develops in accordance to this environment and quality of interaction sensitivity etc.
When this child meets other kids brought up in much softer and more sensitive environments he finds they are hurt by his ways of interaction, feeling all his interaction as abusive, and avoid him.

Another important thing to consider is, higher density naturally implies selfishness and lower density naturally implies empathy.
Because empathy is sensitivity.
The same energy thins out and spreads over to consider the other, expanding the circle of concern.
Whereas in high contraction, there is inherently a non-consideration of the other.
Look at the way people act under extreme fear or anger.
Does the person in front of them even matter when such a strong projection is put forth?
So take it far enough along the left in the spectrum towards fear or energy contraction and you have a sociopath.
The opposite of this would be a saint, whose energy is subtle, highly sensitive and shows very high sensitivity and empathy to all beings.

For a saintly person, do you want to know how a sociopath feels?
Just watch a horror film, that feeling of being wired and in the edge of your seat, is a CONTRACTION of your default state of energy, and that might be the default operating mode for a sociopath.
For a sociopath, do you want to know how a saint feels?
Just take a lot of ‘mdma’, you will experience a higher degree of the world of sensitivity and empathy.