Letting go

I need to give attention to a thing to let go of a thing. The way to let go of something is to fully accept it. The paradox is that: Complete acceptance is a necessary condition for change. You cannot let go of something, by not giving it attention – then that becomes dissociation, avoidance, suppression and anyways, whatever you do not let go of stays/remains with you continuously.

There is letting go of a thing
There is letting of ‘letting go of a thing’ and ‘not letting go of a thing’
There is letting of (letting go) or (not letting go) the practice of letting of itself.
There is letting go of the frustration due to the inability to let go of the practice of not letting go.
There is letting go of both control and non-control

Letting go of holding on to anything:
I am so drawn to the understandings, learnings, insights of the spiritual, metaphysical, at the heights of the mind’s capability to understand. I have also had tremendous success with this, i.e. exploring the meta-meta-meta^n levels of things. But then I cannot seem to hold on and be anything. If I do, then I distinctly feel like I am resisting against where the natural current is taking me. As my interests naturally arise and pass, my abilities, knowledge, understandings also arise and pass. 

Everything can be lost and similarly everything can be gained. Everything fades. and is replaced with a new creation. Destruction is needed for creation to happen. Destruction of the ‘Void’, is needed for ‘Something’ to be created. Its my constant holding on to those insights, that is creating resistance against the natural flow. I am holding on to my creation and thereby resisting change.

Its as if everything moves, the energy and interest behind things keep shifting, but mentally since my belief is that I must do those things, I keep doing things even though they give me no satisfaction because they are dead in a way (dead like memories, thoughts, beliefs..other accumulations). Even the grandest of things arise and pass away. The worst chaotic experiences too arise and pass away. It is not possible to hold on to anything in the 5-D screen of consciousness because doing so is resistance of the universal movement of change, the dance of life. More the resistance = more the suffering. Its as if life is like the wind that moves, anything I do against the wind is resistance.   

As days pass by, the more I realize my true essence is nothing. 

Its not just hatred, guilt, fear, pain that is to be surrendered to god/ocean of void/infinite, but it is everything including the positive ones like love, joy, bliss, wellbeing, pleasure. Letting go has to be experiential at every moment, every perceivable vibration is to be let go of. Even my mental models are to be let go of at every moment. Every insight, every thought, every mental image, every sensation is to be let go of. Simply abide in complete relaxation. 

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