History of ‘me’

The raw material that I possess from the time I was born is simply this dynamic body and a mind that only has certain innate wants, predilections and needs.

In our formative years 0-4yrs, we map this world with our pointers for what we need and desire. This mapping is the generator of core beliefs and conditioning. We even register certain facial features, gestures, behaviors that guide our intuition, love map, choice of partners etc. in later life.

I seriously wonder, all the knowledge I think I have, the personality I possessed has all been acquired from outside. What I am innately born with is just this dynamic body and mind empty of content. The mind at this stage may simply have basic instinctual information and pointers to desires and needs which may be dormant and manifest later.

Infact I can even go further with the reason and argue that, there is another level of cause and effect. What was I before I was born? and why did I get those specific pointers and body? Did I have any choice regarding that? OR was I just a fragment in the endless river of evolution?

What if there were past births that by some causal logic determined my predispositions and pointers?
Then I could go further and question, what was I before the previous births? Are the previous birth’s limited to only the human form and this world? What if  other worlds, planets, other dimensions in the same world? I could have been any living creature imaginable or even beyond (beyond since what we can even imagine is limited to our experience with our 5 senses…there might be infinite senses, worlds, dimensions, realities or even universes) What is my original nature that cannot be broken down further? What is my true essence that has carried over all of this path? What is the essence that is mine and independent of time or space?

From this perspective, is what I know right now real knowledge? All this knowledge is acquired from outside. People’s knowledge has been evolving too and what was knowledge many centuries has been debunked to a large extent. I really question our ways of knowing. Is it in science or religion? I could go further and wonder if a concept is real in the first place? What is it that is beyond concepts?
Is the mind something permanent? What is beyond the mind and body, beyond concepts, beyond space-time, beyond science and religion, beyond everything imaginable?

Its like a plunge into the space of pure unknown, disregarding all selfish concerns.

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