While watching movies etc., I cannot seem to generate a “feeling” of attraction towards all the typical idols people have in their minds. For e.g..: Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox etc. My thinking mind would look at their proportions, skin texture, facial features and conclude that they are beautiful. But surprisingly, I would get no accompanying feeling of sexual attraction. In other words, I just believe that they are sexually attractive but do not feel the sensation. I can appreciate white women aesthetically, but I just don’t get the tingle of sexual attraction. Considering the fact that I usually feel attraction only when I see girls face to face, I thought if I saw them in real life things might be different.
Now, I am here in US. Everyday, I see people from different races, Asians, Americans, Mexicans and Europeans who have almost perfect bodies, but I do not feel the attraction. Its almost like I’m looking at aliens/wax dolls. I feel absolutely no connection. I haven’t been able to relate to anyone here beyond a superficial level, be it emotionally/physically, this could probably be one of the reasons. The boners seem to have minds of their own, driven by biology.
I even wondered if I’m racist, but then I guess sexual attraction has nothing to do with racism. As long as we don’t consider our choice to be objectively more beautiful than everything else, it would not be racism.