Are we really creating our reality/self at every moment? That thought kind of puts a LOT more responsibility. Do I really need to make choices at every single moment? Making choices once a way scares me enough! I can generally handle one moment at a time very well or even short plans for like half a day. What really hits me are long term goals. I absolutely have no clue. If there is so much of uncertainty even in such a short amount of time, how practical is it to make a long term goal. And what about my dynamic self. I’m so dynamic in my opinions, thoughts and beliefs that what matters now may not even matter after a short while. How can I be dynamic and have a long term goal? Doesn’t that mean I would have to lock my priorities for a very long period of time? How is that freedom? Most enlightened people simply live in the moment because they know this truth. This enables them to fully experience the present like a child. Maybe that is why they live away from cities. I do have certain long term goals, but aligning some of them with society’s expectations is a serious pain. Its like society has a road map set, which I have been following since childhood. The pressure from society to conform is absolutely overwhelming. Why are there so few free thinkers? (its a Q that still beats me)
I generally like to operate at the fringe of my reasoning, opinions and beliefs and continually expand that sphere in all directions. The larger the sphere the more expansive and free I feel. Generally, when I’m talking to a rigid guy about an unknown topic, he gives me a distorted version and tells me that is the truth. That is like walking through narrow paths with walls on either side and reaching a destination(the destination may be a highly distorted opinion). The problem is that, to validate whether the walls are real or not, you need to explore by yourself (see multiple perspectives on the issue). Most of the time, the walls are an illusion. So for me the destination is just the fringe of what I think is possible with my current level of knowledge, experience or imagination. If I reach the fringe of reasoning and go beyond it, then I place a new checkpoint flag and continue to see if I can expand. My thinking force is centrifugal in a 3D sense. I want to expand in all directions. I do not have any fixed destination. What I seek is not an end goal, but a particular state of mind which is open to everything, filled with curiosity and wonder, greatly enriching people’s knowledge and lives, with an extremely high level of wisdom.