Ascent vs. Descent

The source breathes out existence (ex-is, meaning external isness, i.e. externalization).
And then breathes it (sucks it) back in.
This it the breath of the source, as it descends and ascends through the chakras.

Every lower chakra serves the higher in ASCENT.
1c = Survival/security/stability is to serve 2c = Community
2c = Community serves 3c = Empowerment/human goals/service activity
3c = Power/goals serves 4c = Procurement of love
4c = Love serves 5c = Wisdom/Truth
5c = Wisdom serves 6c = Vision/Experience/Consciousness
6c = Consciousness serves 7c = Non-local beyond.

Every higher chakra serves the lower in DESCENT.
7c = Non-local Beyond serves 6c = Vision/Experience/Consciousness
6c = Consciousness serves 5c = Wisdom
5c = Wisdom serves 4c = Love
4c = Love serves 3c = Power/human goals/service
3c = Power serves 2c = Community/Entertainment
2c = Community serves 1c = Survival/Security/Stability

Generally when we say, settle down in life what we refer to is a successful descent:
Using Consciousness and Wisdom (6c and 5c) – Finding what you love (4c) – Creating individuality, identity based on that (3c) – Finding a position in social circles and society with that identity, Finding a partner for a family (2c) – Using the resources and money gained for buying property, enjoying material prosperity/security/stability (1c).

The path of ascent however is the opposite movement.
One wants to go back to the source.
So from a position of relative stability/security(1c) – One seeks to find the source through community by becoming a disciple of masters (2c) – One then uses the inspiration of the masters to take responsibility for their own transcendence and becomes a ‘seeker’ (3c) – One seeks to find out what is in one’s heart and explores both its yin/yang sides (4c) – The heart then realizes its love for wisdom and pursues wisdom for its own sake (5c) – The wisdom develops and distills itself into pure polarities (6c) – Then finally the polarities are dissolved in the non-dual non-local source beyond (7c).

The dark night of the soul is from a saintly super-ego


When [FLOW] does not happen for any quality, it results in [ACCUMULATION]


Supposing you have a [SAINTLY SUPER-EGO]
Now, this structure acts as a [TEA STRAINER] and [COLLECTS] all the [GUNK] in the [FLOW] of [LIFE]

If you feel no [GUILT] or [FEAR] about [ENJOYING],[FEELING PLEASURE], [INDULGING] and so on, then the [PLEASURE] passes through the [STRAINER] completely resulting in [NO ACCUMULATION] of [PLEASURE].
[PLEASURE] is then seen as [EMPTY], [PASSING], and [FLOWING], which is its [TRUE NATURE]

On the other hand, if you feel great [GUILT] and [FEAR], in expressing [NEGATIVE DESTRUCTIVE E-MOTIONS (energies in motion)], then you [REPRESS] all of [THAT].
Now this [CLUMPED-UP SOLIDIFIED MASS] on the [STRAINER] reduces the [FLOW OF LIFE] to a [TRICKLE].


How [FAST] your [STRAINER] gets [CLOGGED] depends upon the [INTENSITY/ZEALOUSNESS] of you [EGO STRUCTURE].
Just like how, if you pour the [TEA WATER] into the [STRAINER] really [FAST], the [STRAINER] would get clogged at [THAT SAME RATE] and may take you much faster to the point where you would have to [STOP POURING] and [EMPTY THE STRAINER] first.
This may take [some egos] 100s of years, and for some [really intense egos] it may take only 30 years or less.
With a more [INTENSE EGO], you just happen to [SEE] the [RESULTS] of your [STRUCTURES] much [FASTER].
Just like if you are driving at 1000kph, every small movement of the steering takes you FAR AHEAD in that DIRECTION, vs. moving at 30 kph where the movement in that direction is little in comparison.

So coming back to the case of the [SAINTLY SUPER-EGO],
This [ACCUMULATES] in the [STRAINER] until it [VEILS] the flow of [LIFE] completely.
At this stage, one arrives at the [DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL] where the only task is to [CLEAN THE STRAINER, LEARN FROM IT, TRANSFORM YOUR STRUCTURES].
All of [LIFE ENERGY] is now [EXPENDED] in [INCINERATING] the [CLUMPED UP COLLECTED CONTENTS] in the [STRAINER] until all of that has been [TORCHED/FREED] and until all the [NECESSARY WISDOM] has been [EXTRACTED].

So there can be [ALL-CONSUMING HATRED] for [EVERYONE and EVERYTHING], which is actually just the REFLECTION of this [STRUCTURE], i.e. of the [LIGHT OF LIFE] passing through the [PRISM of these ACCUMULATIONS] causing the pattern you see projected on all [PEOPLE], [THINGS], [CIRCUMSTANCES, [SITUATIONS] and [CONDITIONS].

Contemplations on the dark night of the soul

Action - Reaction concept

The background memory of the “dark night of the soul/entry into the underworld/dragon of chaos” is what will give me “enjoyment and meaning” for future good experiences?

And similarly, isn’t it so that I perceived the “dark night of the soul” itself from the memory of previously good experiences and hopes?

I see an interplay of foreground and background everywhere:
Life is life because of death in the background.
Death is death because of life in the background.
The 2 mutually need each other for their own BEING.
So the dark night of soul suffering inevitably paves the way for supreme enjoyment.
Similarly, the dark night itself showed that you have had supreme enjoyments in the past, whose loss you lament when you compare your current reality (dark night) to that of the memory you carry.

[bg = background
fg = foreground]

Dissolution process:
…DNOS (Bad memories) ongoing —–<—— Good memories bg

Resurrection process:
DNOS (Bad memories bg) ——–>—— Good memories ongoing…

Chaos bg ——>——– Order fg ongoing…
…Chaos fg ongoing ——-<——– Order bg

Death bg ——>———- Life ongoing…
Death ongoing… ——–<———- Life bg

I intuit these pendulum swings ultimately serve EVOLUTION/GROWTH/WISDOM (the pearl beyond price). This is a higher context to view one’s whole life from by a far stretch. However the HIGHEST of the HIGHEST contexts is the MYSTERY/UNKNOWN.
I can only intuit now from my level of understanding and knowledge.

Also the experiences are holographic/total/analogy/singular, in the NOW. This NOW also contains the [MEMORY->EXPECTATION] FRAMES/LENSES which “condition/shape/structure” perception accordingly.
They may also contain high flavors of paradoxical “presence of absence/presence of loss” which is essentially the witnessing of dissolution/death-process/decathection-process of a certain energy structure = we term as GRIEF.
Grief is the chaos that ensues when a structure is lost, and a hole is created which has to be restitched and re-synthesized with the WHOLE.

Generally for people, ordinary loss is like ONE hole of chaos in their fabric of reality.
But in the dark night of soul, it is the chaos underneath that swallows the entire fabric into itself -> and from that a new much larger structure would potentially emerge.

To give an analogy:
Ordinary losses are like being bitten by a animal, i.e. a small hole of chaos in a large body of order.
You attend to you wound, nurse it and it heals.

The dark night of soul is on the other hand is like a TOTAL loss, like being eaten alive completely by a t-rex, the old you is completely dissolved and after a period of transformation you open your new eyes as the t-rex once your energy is distilled/extracted/integrated into its structure.

It is the ultimate breakdown and the ultimate resurrection.
That is why the masters have always said ->
Deeper the dark night, greater the inquiry = greater the resurrection/greater the upliftment.
The lower you go -> The higher you rise.
The darker the night -> The brighter the day.
The law is illumination by contrast.
The other principles I see that apply are: Alchemy/Sublimation.

How far you are willing and travel into chaos? -> That will be how far of an increase in the deepest order you will experience.

Deeper aspects about BDSM


Spectrum: Polarization:
Delicate target -to- outside violent strong sadist ——— Strong violent sadist -to- outside vulnerable soft target
Submissive(2C), Controlled(3C) ———- Dominator(2C), Controller(3C)
Note: C = chakra
BDSM is a higher polarized version of regular domination and control facets, and it falls on the ends of the bell curve.
The dynamic is between the poles: [dominator – submissive], [controller, controlled].
But take it to the extreme and you get harcore BDSM.
And since this is a spectrum, there are mild, medium, high forms of it too before the extreme end.

The sadist denies his vulnerability while the masochist denies his strength.
So the 2 look for each other, to stabilize and balance their consciousness.

This game can be played until it is interesting.
The way to come out of it is to acknowledge your denied side.
For the dominator to accept his vulnerability.
For the submissive to accept his power.
The shadow of the submissive is the dominant.
The shadow of the dominant is the submissive.
You are seeing your own “projected repressed qualities” in the others you attract, and thereby completing the denied consciousness via consciousness of the attracted other who is lived through vicariously.

Submissive, controlled:
The image of self is cathected to a tender, vulnerable, soft target -> and the other is seen as the violent predator looking to attack and destroy you.
Dominant, controller:
The self is cathected to being strong, powerful, invulnerable -> and the other is seen as a weak vulnerable creature to be attacked.
The submissive is trying to kill of his power ———————– The dominant is trying to kill off his vulnerability
Attachment to helplessness/powerlessness ———————– Attachment to total power and agency

To be in-between is painful.
So the tendency is mostly to polarize to any one end.
And since addiction works on denial primarily, each is addicted to the other.
So those denied aspects prevent wholeness and set up desires which can get overpowering, because ultimately they are a desire to bring the repressed part into consciousness via. the other.
So the more your deny yourself a pole, the more extreme the desire gets to obtain that pole through the other in consciousness.
The beauty is, both recognize each other.
The dominator lives the vulnerability vicariously through the submissive he/she attacks.
The submissive lives the dominator role vicariously by receiving his/her power.

Society and conventional relationships too function on some degree of polarization.
In the typical societal dynamic -> girl = submissive, guy = dominant.
This is acceptable and the norm. If the guy or girl is extremely dominant or submissive respectively, then one moves further from the norm but is still somewhat accepted.
However, to be a dominant girl or a submissive guy falls out-of-sync with the polarization of conventional/typical society.

True intelligence is like eye-sight


When you see with your eyes, do your eyes hold on to any image?
If they did, you would have an unchanging ghost image in your field of vision.
Imagine if the refresh rate of your eyes was slowed down.
Would not the images drag in your field and leave trails as you moved?
The field of vision therefore needs to continuously refresh at a high rate (higher the better), and it must completely update at each refresh (leaving no ghost images behind after each refresh).
This is what you would call ‘clear seeing’, isn’t it?

True intelligence is something similar.
The principles that I outlined above for ‘clear vision’ are the same for ‘pure/clear/true intelligence/mind’
Zero holding on coupled with super high refresh rate.
…Re-cognize -> Re-cognize -> Re-cognize -> Re-cognize…
Note: The hyphen between ‘Re’ and ‘cognize’ is intentional.
When this happens, the experience is of ‘joy’.

The lessons of the teacher of impermanence

For the past 2 years, my life experience has been bipolar.
The mornings/early-afternoons are usually splendid, and filled with life/power/spirit/freedom/exotic mystical insights/sublime feelings.
The evenings/nights/late-nights can often however be really grueling/wretched where I just wish I would die and never wake up again.
This bipolarity had/has been relentless, and due to that, I started fearing everything.
Impermanence of this magnitude -> makes one fearful of everything, because impermanence threatens everything, not just the bad experiences, but all of the great experiences too.

The way out of this fear I figured, was to release attachment/identification/cathexis from all that is impermanent, to put it in short.
But the implication of this was staggering, because the price to pay to include the creature of impermanence in my life is everything, and I mean ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
So the call was clear to me that, “All must be let go”.
And the fierce bipolarity was the teacher.
It was maddeningly disorienting, imagine feeling absolutely wretched, despair-ish, eternally hopeless in the night before you slept, only to wake up the next day and feel mystically happy and joyful.
The message was constant of: “There is nothing to rely on, there is nothing to stand on, you can rely on others, neither can you rely on yourself, surrender and let go of ALL/EVERYTHING, that is the only way out”.
Its hard to talk about it to someone who has never gone through impermanence of such subtlety.
Like even the part of me that is writing this will vanish in a few hours or less, and then some other self/orientation/mental-frame/meaning-reality/somatic-reality will take over.
I would like to define 2 terms to explain this:
Soul = my invisible electromagnetic structures, personal.
Spirit = Electricity, non-local, impersonal.
I see it as a hide and seek played by the spirit force.
When spirit force/electricity enters, I get all the mystical visions/control/power/freedom/joy/understanding/stratospheric mental capacities.
But then the spirit vacates my soul, the complementary negative states kicks in of severe limitation/despair/wretchedness/incoherence/chaos/severe loss of all will power/fatigue/suffering etc.
In some nights, from lack of spirit energy, the thoughts get super intrusive/the whole soul struggles to maintain any coherence, and I use all the might of my feeble willpower to simply cling on to some coherent identity/orientation. All I am doing then is using all my might to stop madness. And when it happens it feels eternal.
Then the next day, suddenly it is a new day, with the spirit power back.
The random/chaotic/capricious nature of the entry/departure of spirit electricity/force into my soul, makes my soul scared/weary, and in that hide&seek I feel like I am realizing the higher truth of emptiness/no-thingness/aliveness.
I see the integration of the entirety of impermanence as TRANSCENDENCE.
Because the other 2 insights of Annata (no-self) and Dukkha (dissatisfaction) are inherent in impermanence.
Impermanence is actually embedded in the very nature of creative force.
Greater impermanence is a sign that greater life is filling your soul.
Permanence is actually death/unconsciousness. If air did not move at all and if you did not move/breathe, how could you even be conscious of air?
One cannot be conscious of a permanent thing.
So I realized that LIFE IS IMPERMANENCE, so impermanence is the pearl of life itself. But impermanence is DEATH to us, colloquially, because we call life as something that maintains its form on and on.
I also see the TOTAL INTEGRATION OF IMPERMANENCE is also TOTAL FREEDOM, because then one has dissolved ‘one’s self’ into this alive void.
At a higher level, the self we are dissolving actually represents something closer to death because it is relatively unchanging, higher the change = higher the frequency/power/energy/life.
We are trading our solidity of self for the gas-like ecstasy of the void.

What is Wisdom?

Wisdom is the architecture of the machine/system/play of existence.
It is the grand blueprint.
Wisdom IS, and does not change.
Knowledge on the other hand keeps evolving.
Wisdom is true understanding.
All essences are present in the play of existence.
Only their degree varies.
An analogy would be – a spectrum analyzer.


All the 16 channels are present and are available as potentials for the music system.
One can independently understand what these 16 channels are.
That would be wisdom.
Then the music plays the essences of these 16 channels, like the strings of a harp, to varying degrees.

List of Inspirational Speakers

  1. Eckhart Tolle
  2. Shinzen Young
  3. Sadhguru
  4. Adyashanti
  5. Terrence Mckenna
  6. Bashar
  7. Robert Alias
  8. Jeff Foster
  9. PillaiCenter: Dattatreya siva baba
  10. Swami Vivekananda
  11. Richard Feyman
  12. Alan Watts
  13. UG Krishamurti
  14. Jiddu Krishnamurti
  15. Mooji
  16. Abraham Hicks
  17. Deepak Chopra
  18. Conference Report Youtube Channel (certain parts)
  19. Osho
  20. Ozen Rajneesh
  21. Peter Marchand
  22. Peter Russell
  23. Wayne Dyer- Taoism
  24. Michael Webb – A culture towards awakening blog
  25. Sage Bodhisattva (YouTube)
  26. Ram Daas
  27. Yuttadhammo
  28. Adi Da
  29. Benitho Massaro
  30. Scott Kiloby
  31. Charlie Hayes
  32. Vijai S Shankar
  33. Tony Parsons
  34.   (YouTube)
  35. Krishnananda (successor to Sivananda)
  36. Gurdjieff
  37. Ouspensky
  38. Nityananda
  39. ScientificMysticism (YouTube)
  40. Rupert Spira
  41. Francis Lucille
  42. Robert Wolfe
  43. Jiddu Krishnamurti – Non duality cartoons
  44. Nisargadatta Maharaj
  45. Jed Mckenna
  46. Ramana Maharishi
  47. Timothy Leary
  48. Bruce Lee
  49. Carl Jung
  50. Lisa Cairns
  51. Shunyamurti
  52. Richard Lang
  53. Douglas Harding
  54. Andrew Cohen
  55. Abraham Hicks
  56. Sen (Calm down mind)
  57. Gabor Mate
  58. Paul Brunton
  59. St. John of the Cross
  60. Atulanand Ji
  61. Ramesh S. Balsekar
  62. Peter Russel
  63. Maithreyaa Swame
  64. Barry Long
  65. David Hawkins
  66. Ishwar Puri
  67. Linda Clair
  68. Kyle Cease
  69. Gary Weber
  70. Manly P. Hall
  71. Youtube: Channel higher self
  72. Almine
  73. Jayson Wiggins
  74. Peter Holleran (Mountainrunnerdoc blog)
  75. Shunya Yoga – Amir Mourad
  76. Joe Rogan
  77. Benjamin Smythe
  78. Robert Anton Wilson – 8 circuit model
  79. Ocyphius
  80. Jason Shulman
  81. Baba Ramdev
  82. Scott Mandelker
  83. Thich Nhat Hanh
  84. Mark Passio
  85. Ra – Law of One
  86. Trevor Ilesley
  87. Jordan Peterson
  88. Matt-Kahn
  89. Sam Harris
  90. Dr. Michael Laitman
  91. Brian Alger
  92. Alan Mcfarlane
  93. Sri Summairu
  94. Dr Hew Len
  95. Burt Harding
  96. Mukti (Adyashanti’s wife)
  97. Elliott Hulse
  98. Eli Jaxon-Bear
  99. Poonja Papaji
  100. Anadi
  101. Craig Holiday
  102. Michael Beckwith
  103. Sam Geppi (astrologer)
  104. Swami Kriyananda
  105. Brijesh Gautam (hindi discourse)
  106. Tom Campbell (simulation theory)
  107. Teal Swan
  108. Aaron Abke
  109. Yogaprasad Institute (YouTube channel)
  110. Swami Sarvapriyananda
  111. Yogiraj SatGurunath Siddhanath
  112. Acharya Prashant
  113. Swami Satchitananda
  114. Om Swami
  115. Kaulantak Nath
  116. Mohanji
  117. Russell Brand
  118. Sri M
  119. Wim Hof
  120. Sri Sri Ravishankar
  121. Jason Gregory

Books recommended:

1. In Search of the Miraculous – PD Ouspensky
2. States of Consciousness – Charles Tart
3. Altered States of Consciousness – Charles Tart
4. Breaking open the head (A Psychedelic Journey)- Daniel Pinchbeck
5. I am that – Nisargadatta Maharaj
6. Open Secret – Wei Wu Wei
7. The Attention revolution – Alan Wallace
8. Spiritual Enlightenment the damnedest thing – Jed Mckenna
9. Alkuajatus – The original thought
10. Alkuajatus – Report from a free world
11. A course in consciousness
12. The Ayahuasca Experience – Antipodes of the mind
13. Non-violent communication – Marshall
14. Freedom from the known – Jiddu Krishnamurti
15. Disappearance of the universe – Gary Renard
16. Confusion no more – Ramesh Balsekar
17. Yoga Sutras – Patanjali (
18. Care of the soul – Thomas Moore
19. Ego and the Dynamic Ground – Michael Washburn
20. Collision with the Infinite – Suzanne Segal
21. The point of existence – Transformations of Narcissism – A. H. Almaas
22. The pearl beyond price – Integration of Personality into Being – A.H. Almaas
23. Mystic Musings – Sadhguru
24. Fading towards enlightenment – Wayne Wirs
25. Living with Reality – Who we are…
26. Dispelling Wetiko: Breaking the Curse of Evil
27. Bruce Lee – Artist of life
28. Kabbalistic Healing – A path to an awakened soul
29. The Kybalion – By three initiates
30. Pathwork lectures:
31. Power vs. Force – David Hawkins
32. Death – An Inside Story
33. Meher Baba – God speaks
34. Karma: A Yogi’s Guide to Crafting Your Destiny
35. Vedanta Treatise: The Eternities