The point of view of ego identification

The ego is the servant of god, and lives at god’s mercy.
The divine can ‘exalt’ or ‘humiliate’ the ego.
That is give power or withdraw all power (the power of the ego’s ability to control).
The ecstasies exalt while the crucifixions/sufferings humiliate.
By identifying and living as the ego, one lives from this point of view that opens this whole spectrum of:
Total Exaltation/Feeling like god —–vs—– Total Humiliation/Absolute victim
Total control ———-vs———– Total loss of control.
Now total loss of control has 2 flavors:
Ecstasy (if one falls into the most highly desired state) ———-vs————— Terror (when one falls into the most undesirable state).
Total control has 2 flavors:
Total control of creating ——–vs——– Total control of destroying
All these flavors of possibility are opened up from the point of view of IDENTIFICATION with the ego.

Ego is resistance to ‘WHAT IS’ -> in the form of controlling/manipulating the experience of ‘What is/Divine’, either seeking advantage or sabotage (positive control vs negative control, whatever is available and desirable).

To untangle the ego, one must release resistance to ‘What is’.
Just sit in your room and feel into existence and witness what you are resisting.
Those are the areas where the [ego structure like knotted balls of wool] are present.
They are the unfeeling/robotic/frozen parts of our instrument(the knotted structures of the ball of wool) we think is us.
Untangle those fibers and release them, so that they may blow freely with the divine wind, illuminating greater consciousness through greater finer feeling.
Untangle the feelers of your instrument so that it can receive more of the divine winds that flow.
Such a process invariably happens from a higher point of view, because the ego cannot witness itself from its own position.

Contemplations on the dark night of the soul

Action - Reaction concept

The background memory of the “dark night of the soul/entry into the underworld/dragon of chaos” is what will give me “enjoyment and meaning” for future good experiences?

And similarly, isn’t it so that I perceived the “dark night of the soul” itself from the memory of previously good experiences and hopes?

I see an interplay of foreground and background everywhere:
Life is life because of death in the background.
Death is death because of life in the background.
The 2 mutually need each other for their own BEING.
So the dark night of soul suffering inevitably paves the way for supreme enjoyment.
Similarly, the dark night itself showed that you have had supreme enjoyments in the past, whose loss you lament when you compare your current reality (dark night) to that of the memory you carry.

[bg = background
fg = foreground]

Dissolution process:
…DNOS (Bad memories) ongoing —–<—— Good memories bg

Resurrection process:
DNOS (Bad memories bg) ——–>—— Good memories ongoing…

Chaos bg ——>——– Order fg ongoing…
…Chaos fg ongoing ——-<——– Order bg

Death bg ——>———- Life ongoing…
Death ongoing… ——–<———- Life bg

I intuit these pendulum swings ultimately serve EVOLUTION/GROWTH/WISDOM (the pearl beyond price). This is a higher context to view one’s whole life from by a far stretch. However the HIGHEST of the HIGHEST contexts is the MYSTERY/UNKNOWN.
I can only intuit now from my level of understanding and knowledge.

Also the experiences are holographic/total/analogy/singular, in the NOW. This NOW also contains the [MEMORY->EXPECTATION] FRAMES/LENSES which “condition/shape/structure” perception accordingly.
They may also contain high flavors of paradoxical “presence of absence/presence of loss” which is essentially the witnessing of dissolution/death-process/decathection-process of a certain energy structure = we term as GRIEF.
Grief is the chaos that ensues when a structure is lost, and a hole is created which has to be restitched and re-synthesized with the WHOLE.

Generally for people, ordinary loss is like ONE hole of chaos in their fabric of reality.
But in the dark night of soul, it is the chaos underneath that swallows the entire fabric into itself -> and from that a new much larger structure would potentially emerge.

To give an analogy:
Ordinary losses are like being bitten by a animal, i.e. a small hole of chaos in a large body of order.
You attend to you wound, nurse it and it heals.

The dark night of soul is on the other hand is like a TOTAL loss, like being eaten alive completely by a t-rex, the old you is completely dissolved and after a period of transformation you open your new eyes as the t-rex once your energy is distilled/extracted/integrated into its structure.

It is the ultimate breakdown and the ultimate resurrection.
That is why the masters have always said ->
Deeper the dark night, greater the inquiry = greater the resurrection/greater the upliftment.
The lower you go -> The higher you rise.
The darker the night -> The brighter the day.
The law is illumination by contrast.
The other principles I see that apply are: Alchemy/Sublimation.

How far you are willing and travel into chaos? -> That will be how far of an increase in the deepest order you will experience.

Changing anything is impossible

CHANGE is impossible
‘You’ cannot change anything
You very attempt to change is only resistance/violence
And you may add another layer of make-believe to cover up
But that just adds a layer and does not change anything
We only add our dream on top of life which flows underneath
We can only add and not change anything fundamental

Only change that is uncaused,
Can be free of such violence or additions
Life itself is change/a current/a flow
Whatever we do only adds resistance or adds new layers

Following the Desire to change something never works

My desires and emotions are giving me a message about reality like “mathematics”.
I will listen to that directly without “resistance” or “desire to change it”.
“Desire to change something” is always a “Reaction” and not an “Action”.
This can be understood, by looking at “Forces” and Structures”
( Martial arts clearly demonstrates this principle in a tangible physical manner
Here is a wing-chun video that demonstrates this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r85CAAxJfQ )
A structure generates force, no structure = no force
So, desires and emotions are “forces” generated by an underlying “structure”.

The reality I experience is analogous to where I put my focus/attention.
When I INVEST in the DESIRE to change something, then I am investing my attention energy into the FORCE and not the STRUCTURE generating the force.
So as a result, I only become aware of the FORCE and the places it takes me to, and not of the structure itself that generated the force in the first place.
Consequently, the “STRUCTURE” which is the very thing I want to change, never enters my awareness (because I am too busy chasing the FORCE), and change is as a result – IMPOSSIBLE.

That is why Einstein said “A problem can never be solved at the level of consciousness in which it originated”.
Only transcending to a subtler level allows the structure to enter your awareness.

Letting go of the desire to change something, and BEING with the something, is the only way I can see the very structure and not get caught up by the paths created by the forces generated by the structure.

Interdependence Insight

What makes a thing beautiful is the relativity around it.
It is all total interdependence.
For example, the girl who looks beautiful in the beach, has to thank:
– the people who made her swimwear,
– the swimwear cloth material existence itself
– the beach (for being a desirable place for people, and which puts them in the mood capable to such body admiration)
– the beach for being a socially accepted place to celebrate the body,
– thank the culture that permits that,
– thank the sunlight for shining on her,
– thank the “eyes of others” that allow them to perceive her at all
– her mom dad for telling her that she is beautiful,
– all the food that has gone into building her body,
– thank the gym space and equipment for giving her the tools for shaping the body
– all the other people who project ‘beauty’ on her and validate it (both historically and currently present in the beach)
– Her own genes, lineage
– Caste/Creed/Race, Health, Nationality, other such status symbols
– All the microorganisms in her body allowing her to stay like that
– She would have to thank her entire history, which is connected to everyone else’s history too.
And so on…
Its total interdependence.
Finally she has to thank her own consciousness for being alive to even be aware of all of this and to witness all that came together in creating the feeling of being beautiful.
Each and every object exists interdependently with all the other objects
Like the Indra’s web dew drop reflections.
Every essence is dependent on every other essence.
No essence stands alone.
It is the “relationship between all the essences/reflections” and interdependent relationships that allow the existence of the object essence itself.
Everything needs everything else.
No thing stands by itself.
All things stand because of the existence of all other things.

Like take the diamond in a velvet box –
the diamond has to thank all the lights around it,
the velvet box which contrasts it well,
the perceiver/observer of its beauty,
and its qualities come out with the movement of the observer, so it should also thank the observer’s movement.
(The diamond’s brilliance is omni-directional, however its qualities of FIRE and SPARKLE are visible only if the observer moves relative to the diamond)
Also the diamond has to thank all the other stones for not having these qualities such as sparkle, brilliance and fire.
The diamond’s specialness/uniqueness/value should give thanks to all the other non-quality possessing stones.
The diamond must also thank the observer’s consciousness which observes all of these qualities and admires it.
Everything is interdependent.
Similarly self-other, self-world, self-situation all go together too.
It is all the situations/others in your life that bring out your mysterious qualities.
You are what you are, because the universe it what it is, they both go together.

There is no point fighting anything in the world.

There is no point fighting anything in the world.
A small little me thrashing around with my energy is useless.
Force is useless and empowering force is useless.
Empowering force only increases the reactivity, thrashing around, struggle against a much larger reality anyways controlled by much larger forces and outside my control.
Rather, I can empower understanding, awareness, the existing flow, and the harnessing the power that is already present.
Everything is already there, one just needs to know how to tap into it and then modulate it using the power/momentum already present.
All attainment is something that can slip away, just like you can only push so hard against an existing condition with your force until you exhaust your power.
You will come back to homeostasis/default/base.
So its much better to practice attuning and flowing with already existing flows, like swimming along river currents to get where you want to.
Frontal opposition against an opponent force or against any force is useless.
It is highly inefficient and wastes colossal amounts of energy.
Rather I would prefer to use flows that are already available.
In fact that is mastery, mastery is about being a perfect conduit and channel for a certain influence that is already present, which you simply fully tap into and modify yourself to take it in fully.
The sign of mastery is when you can do something so effortlessly by perfectly conduiting an influence without using any of your own force.