What I have observed is that, There are 2 factors that determine a person’s actions: # The situations/circumstance/surroundings/cultural-setups/environments (their adaption, fitting-in strategies, accommodation to all of that etc.) # Their own interests/desires (which they pursue)
Generally, in the transmission from say parents to children (in the flow of genetic lineage), Only the real essential desire of the parent is transferred to the child. And whatever the parent did as adaptation, accommodation, and adjustment based on family/cultural/socio-political pressures of those times, does not pass over to the children. This is because the children were brought up at a different world-time/age, with different family/socio-cultural/political/situational variables. The world itself is at a different generation when the children are born, And therefore the children adapt to those conditions, And only the essential desires of the lineage continue through them.
For instance, Say a father worked loyally in a single company all his life as a duty, While the son decides to not work at all, and only work on his private passions. On the surface, this looks like the father and son are entirely different. But a more in-depth examination might reveal, The father never had any real heart vested in the company affairs. He may have done all of it from familial/moral/socio-cultural pressures, While his real heart desire was in his personal interests. So it is only the real heart desire that passes on to the son. This can be taken much deeper than this, But even now, with only this much penetration into the matter, The son’s decisions do not look so outlandish in the light of this understanding, right?
Another instance would be, If the mother dutifully married, had children, spent her whole life entangled to them etc., Her daughter might take up a completely different meaning in life and become ultra career focused. Again, on the surface, both look completely different. But on deeper examination, Maybe the mother, as an adaptation to her circumstances, went along with that wave, But her real desire was to fuse her identity into something larger. Her situation might have been such that the role of caretaker was what allowed her this larger experience and expansion. So the daughter in alternate times, may seek to fulfill this same desire by absorbing herself into the corporate world and its goals (career). It is the same desire expressing itself in 2 different situations and times. This is actually still just slightly under the surface, but even this level of understanding reveals the continuity and similarity of desires passing through.
I’ve seen 2 kinds of relationships in my life: # Connections through resonance # Connections through projection/role-play
Connecting through resonance: Two minds understand each other when they are attuned/honed to each other, That is, when both the minds are operating at a similar frequency, they see similar views.
For instance, say you are floating on a hot air balloon. If you spoke to someone on the ground, his view would be entirely different from yours. You may be able to talk a little about his surroundings, because you know where he is standing, Similarly, he might see your balloon and ask you a few questions about that. But overall, there would not be much to share or connect about. But suppose you spoke to another person in another hot air balloon at the same height, Then so much of the view is shared, and thereby you both can easily connect, right?
Two minds can connect if they share the same level of subtleness of perception. I call this the “LOC” – The level of consciousness of the subtle body. Generally, things like world view, concerns, ideas, perceptions, thoughts, feelings can be easily shared with another being at the same LOC level.
There is ‘what you are seeing’, and ‘from where you are seeing’. The LOC is about ‘from where you are seeing’. If the ‘from where you are seeing’ is common, Then understanding each other would be very effortless.
Connecting to another being who shares your LOC level, I call ‘connecting via. resonance’. Whatever you say to them will be understood fairly easily. Actually you both already see from the same place. The talking is more a celebration of the connection already active. It is a sort of mutual enrichment. Often there is instant recognition here. This kind of relationship does not need much time, And feels comfortable and deep at the start itself.
The other kind of relationship I have had is via. projection/role-play. These kinds of relationships are mostly from external situations (sharing the same environment, context etc.)
What are called ‘situational relationships’ would come under this. # Like the roles of being a colleague/coworker/college lab partner/project partner/college friend in the same class, neighbor next door etc.
# I would also include specific interest group connections under here. Because interest group connections are also somewhat goal based – Check this out, What do you think of this? etc. They are fairly circumscribed and specific to a certain frame and scope.
# Also, any work related relationships would come in this category. Like even the relationship you may have with people standing in the same queue as you to buy movie tickets.
# Even healing group members are not necessarily at the same LOC level. For instance, Two people might connect with each other from their unresolved anger issues, or through their common addiction to something, but their LOCs could be vastly different.
# Even relations with family members, relatives etc. could fall here. Because they too are certain frames of role-play.
# Even romantic relations are often projection/fantasy/role-play based. If it does not have enough of resonance elements, then the relationship would fizzle out quickly, i.e. after the ‘enjoyment of the novelty/projection/role-play/fantasy/specific-quality-admiration based interaction’ is completed.
The purpose of understanding I feel is to help you let go/digest/dissolve/transcend the thing. Otherwise the understanding is not taking you in the right direction, if it only increases the holding of it. True solution is dissolution (David Hawkins). I see understanding as the tool to catalyze the dissolution. Understanding should carry you back to the state of wonder with greater fluidity and openness.
Extremes in the psyche, Can be a curse, When they drive your life, Leading you into more disarray, pain, and destruction.
Healing of any extreme is from the experience of its opposite. That is one way i.e. the method of nulling. The other way is to dissolve and sublimate the extremes into higher understanding. This is the method of dilution.
Extremes when worked upon and resolved, Give the blessing of much higher wisdom, dynamic range, richer understanding/experience, and inclusion, compared to someone who has not experienced them. They serve like more potent manure for creating a taller and larger tree.
Most of suffering in my experience comes from psychological extremes. Achieving balance by working out both sides of the extreme (flexibility), Gives a great combination of exuberance, riches, stability, and control.
There is no real “reason” for anything, The reason for anything is everything (everything, the way it is). How can an “infinite multi-dimensional inter-connected oceanic happening” fit into a “single thread of reasoning”? The reasoning is just that, one thread of logic. It is one among billions of threads, and threads of all sizes. So the mind is more of an elucidator, expounder, expresser, and reflector. There is only commentary/expression/reflection/study/understanding. So there isn’t any clear ‘why’, ‘reason’, ’cause’ for anything. There are no hard conclusions, only soft ones, And no absolute causality because causality comes from threads of reason, and there are infinite such threads running forwards and backwards and criss-cross. The whole moves the whole. It is all one gigantic absurdity or wonder. The dream is simply dreamed as an expression of infinite-possibility. All is but an appearance in consciousness/field.
Since my earliest memory, I have always had a deep wonder, curiosity, and fascination, On the possibilities of relating with others.
Interacting with others felt like a great stage, Participating in group dance or song, Like a blending of minds creating great harmonies, Grand tapestries and patterns of rich meaning.
I would imagine all the possibilities in fantasy/dreaming mostly, With the actual reality serving more as the base context for their concoction. If reality was “1” (the actuals), My imagination was “100+”(the possibilities). Maybe “10” of those imaginations would fit under “appropriate”. The rest would be out of bounds of appropriate social conduct.
This used to always perplex me, About why so little happens in reality out of all the infinite possibilities. About why so little was permitted, and why so much was not? What decided what was allowed and disallowed? I used to wonder and contemplate on this.
I never received much social conditioning in my early years, So my mind/imagination was always open. While approaching others in my early days, I would be super open, innocent, with total trust. Then I realized all the boundaries one by one, And adapted myself to the socialization agreements. But within me, even today, I am still as free as the wide open sky. Nobody has ever given more freedom than I have given myself, by a very long shot.
The initial exploration period in my life, Before the boundaries were understood, Were some of my happiest times. Because I experienced that inner sky like freedom expressing itself. Once I understood the limits, then I reduced myself. After understanding all the boundaries the hard way, And due to my hyper restrictive outer environments in childhood, I sort of became a bit of a recluse. However the deep fascination I had in this field, Led me to doing a lot of research and exploration, And learning a lot in the process.
Nowadays, I test the waters by opening up a bit, Setting an example, and seeing. If the other does not open up as much, then I bring back the older boundaries. Even if the other does not respond, I feel satisfied though, That I have at least shown the possibility as an offer. If the other from their side takes liberties with me, or extends interest, That also frees me up to expand myself and extend a relationship to that extent.
My understanding: # However I behave with the other, I set an example/model to follow. # However they behave with me, They set an example/model to follow. # Whatever topics I initiate, I open those doors. # Whatever topics they initiate, they open those doors.
Healing is a commitment/decision.
It is a direction/dedication/orientation/choice.
Healing is a learning process,
Of figuring out what works and how much.
It is the journey of getting closer to causation.
It is a journey of getting closer to the root.
It is a journey of getting closer to reality.
It is a journey of getting closer to source.
It is a journey of getting closer to truth.
It is a journey of getting closer to essence.
It is a journey of getting closer to honesty.
It is a journey of discovering and transcending,
Ever larger cycles/loops or recursive patterns.
It is a journey through higher and higher planes of understanding,
And through higher and higher planes/dimensions,
Whose structures and relationships are through intuitive insight.
The healing journey is a journey of revelation,
Of greater and greater underlying mysteries.
Healing is a journey of moving from the gross to the subtle,
And of moving from compulsion to awareness.
Healing is to remember (re-member) yourself,
To connect all of your fragments,
And move towards becoming whole,
And move towards atonement (at-one-ment).
To heal is to yield to and feed the fire within,
That wants to know the ultimate truth.
Recognition of something is the primary element.
That is, recognition of value/importance and so on.
Once there is a shared recognition of a certain quality/thing,
It is then formalized in society by assigning a monetary value to it.
This creates an ontology/taxonomy/hierarchy/system of “objective” value assignment.
Here objective means the concretization of the subjective-common-agreement.
Alternatively, there is also ‘informal recognition’.
Informal recognition is like when you help your neighbors/relatives/friends etc.
That is also valued/recognized,
And it may give you other rewards like good-will, rapport etc.,
But it may not involve money-exchange.
The things in society that are assigned the highest monetary value,
Are the things that form the “backbone” of society.
They are a reflection of what society(the formalized agreement) prioritizes,
And what society deems as the most important or least important.
Money is literally the measurement of this formalized-value assignment,
Just like how we measure length in terms of feet, inches, and so on.
Money is the life-blood of society,
And just like real blood,
It basically is the carrier that distributes resources,
To every part of the various societal-systems working together.
Some people before starting any activity would always ask,
“Where is the money in this?” or “How much money would this make?”.
Such people are essentially looking for “Formalized Social-Recognition”.
In other words, they have fused their value-system with societal-values.
If you have a value system very different from the society you live in,
Then money would only be a means to an end,
And not a direct measure of your value/contribution itself.
If what you value deeply, is not recognized by society at all,
Then you fall off the map of “formalized valuation”.
The value of your contribution then would be left to subjective evaluation.
Society is a reflection of collective consciousness.
Collective consciousness can be seen as sort of like a bell curve,
With the majority-80% falling close to center line.
The majority have a value-system that is fused with the societal-value system.
It could also be said that it is the commonality of the majority,
That even enables and empowers a structure like society to thrive in the first place.
Money seen as a direct measure of contribution and value,
Is relevant to mainly this set of people.
If you value-system is too far out,
Too regressive or too progressive,
Then you would fall on the ends of this bell curve.
And money would thus become less and less relevant here,
Except as more of a means to an end.
Ecology is a cycle.
Natural resources are generated by this cycle.
We tap into these resources,
And then subject them to our own transformation processes in factories,
To finally produce the products and distribute them.
But nothing is done after that point.
Consumers use the product and throw it into the landfills.
Ideally, for every construction factory,
There should be an equivalent deconstruction factory or recycling plant.
We need to deconstruct the products made,
Back to a form that nature can process.
This would complete the cycle of human karma.
And we would be in full harmony with nature/earth.
The reasons why this is not done are quite deep.
If I have to sum it up in one sentence,
It is because of our collective “denial of death”.
Our awareness does not include death.
It is as if we believe we are going to go on and on,
and just fall off the edge of a cliff.
But in larger awareness, we are part of a cycle.
And this cycle includes:
Formation —and—- Dissolution.
We generally build things in our image.
Like how it is said “god created man in his image”.
For instance, let’s take the example of a building.
Nervous system = Electrical wiring network
Communication system = Phone/Internet network
Blood Circulation = Water Pipe System/Plumbing
Fire system = Natural gas pipes
So if we have a blind spot in our understanding of ourselves,
That blind spot carries over to our creations as well.
And here the blind spot is the “denial of death”.
As egos we believe we are the creators separate from nature.
That we are aliens stuck in this strange place
And that we must exploit it as much as possible.
But in reality, nature is our very ground.
We grow out of it and return to it,
We are dependent on it for our resources and sustenance,
And we must ideally live in harmony to its cycles.
This is referred to as “ecological awareness”.
Our ignoring of the way things work in nature/ecology,
Has a corresponding component we ignore in ourselves.
That component is, we believe we are immortal and separate (as egos).
This is my opinion on why all of our production processes
Only handle half the cycle from “procurement to production to distribution”.
After that we just dump things in landfills.
This blind spot is especially magnified in mass production.
The error/oversight was always there in essence,
But mass production has increased the sheer scale of this error.
I feel the root problem is that of awareness.
And in my opinion, the best way to impart that is through education.