Tag: Spirituality

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True illusion vs. False illusion

trueillusion

True illusion is the very dream of life.
It is the very flow of life.
True illusion is shimmering and ever changing.

False illusion on the other hand is,
a solidification and holding on of fragments of the true illusion.
It is like holding a bucket against the river of life/true illusion,
and now the bucket contents stay statically with you as the false illusion
It is important to note that,
the false illusion too, derives its source from the true illusion only
It is just created by one thing only, HOLDING ON.
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Freedom is by staying as void

Freedom is in the void.
It in when you have both:
– anti-knowledge and knowledge.
– perspective and anti-perspective
– matter and anti-matter
etc.
The freedom eagle needs both the wings of creation and destruction to move.
Otherwise free movement is not possible
That is the art of learning alchemy and transmutation.
Of sliding along the poles of the same things.
Depression —————————- Joy
Bad ———————————- Good
Preoccupied ———————– Available/free
Stuck ———————– Free
Negative ——————- Positive
Non-sexual —————- Sexual
Passion ——————— Anti-passion
To be stuck is to be unable to shift perspective/shift reality/change.
The ability to shift perspective like this along the poles of things is the greatest freedom.
Else I am enslaved and CANNOT MOVE out of a rigid interpretation or structure.
The ability to focus and move along the poles axis of thought and perspective, is the freedom.
This however requires a lot of energy.
Greater the energy, greater the ability to shimmery change into anything.
Spectrum of available energy:
Low energy stuckness ————————– High energy shimmery change.
As your energy reduces, your karma accumulations will get to you.
It is like imagine someone started giving you $1000 a day and gradually increased it each day until it reached $100,000.
Say you bought a bunch of things with it and made a bunch of investments.
Once it reaches 100,000 a day, say the money given everyday starts reducing until it becomes $1000 again.
Now your life investments in the downward phase will be constantly grating on you. You will have to sell, give up, let go of a lot of stuff and still how much ever you give up, there will still be a strain on resources. All your investments will continue to be unsustainable.
This is until you give up everything and get back to your long ago state of having $1000 a day.
Karma looks to be something like that.
It is a cycle.
There is high energy to begin with, super high vibration, we create all kinds of reality with that, and enjoy them, then eventually the excess free energy gets exhausted, and then the energy starts decreasing causing you to drop all your creations, until 0. Then another wave starts.
Karma is created by attachment and investment.
So riding the wave without attachment and with dispassion/dis-investment allows you to live the energy flow without losing any to upholding/maintaining karma accumulations(which inevitably result in the pain of loss in the downward cycle) and transcend the cycle.
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Energetic Principle of Ego

The ego works primarily on assertion and denial.
There are a lot of profound facts about assertion and denial.
1 – What you assert, is exactly what does not already exist.
In other words, the energy that MAKES the assertion DOES NOT CONTAIN the asserted thing which is precisely why it is making the assertion in order to bring into being that which is not already present.
2 – You can only deny that which already exists.
The energy that makes the denial, already contains the denied object. How can you deny something that does not even exist?
These 2 rules above have profound implications for the understanding of our own psyche and other peoples’ psyche.
So assertion, brings into being that which is not effortlessly present and denial shields that which is already effortlessly present in being.
These are the 2 obfuscating mechanisms, that prevent you from seeing/feeling/experiencing the deeper reality/self.
Both assertion and denial is to be let go, in order to dwell/be/see into the deeper reality.
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Stuff about ultimate reality being love sounds like BS to me

Are you universal love right now?
[What if you are feeling all terrible, diseased, sick, disconnected, scattered, lost, miserable, lonely, desperate now? Does that resemble “love” in any way?]
If your answer is no, and that love is another state of exalted existence which is what is actually real and this is partially unreal at-least compared to that, then you are giving that the higher reality status, and have already created a spectrum of:
Less real ———————————- More real
Now, you have to find another reality that transcends this spectrum, and which will send you back to the drawing board with regards to the ultimate truth.
The ultimate truth has nothing to do with a specific experience of ‘love’, by any definition that is commonly known.
If we want to call the ultimate reality as love, then the definition of love would have to be radically revised, and it should mean, Love = Ultimate reality. What could that be? Such a definition of love is as inconceivable and beyond, as ultimate reality itself.
Then why is the word ‘love’ somehow treated as more relatable, than ultimate reality? It looks equally strange/inconceivable/unimaginable.
That is with regard to all the conventional definitions of love, all of which have a connotation of FEELING pleasant/good.
It is exclusive, and not all-inclusive that the ultimate reality is.

Let me try to re-look from a deep esoteric/abstract angle:
If I ponder over it now, I think ‘love’ represents the reclaiming of wholeness in its fundamental substance that is the substrate and field for all form manifestations.
In that line of thought, “Love = Reclamation”.
The self is fundamentally what we claim to be.
So love and self are analogous. Love = Self.
So then I could also say “identification” is love.
Because what we identify with, is our self at that moment.
Then, Love = Self = Identification.
Identifying (as a verb) = the act of loving = the act of self-ing.
We could then say, the journey from “identifying with the personal” to “identifying with the universal”, is the journey of the expansion of identification, the expansion of love, to include everything as one-self.
But it goes beyond the inclusion of everything, because then we are assuming the ‘everything’ has a definite existence, when in truth, its all changing/real-unreal/flow.
So then, if ‘love’ is all inclusive, it also includes love for the process of creation (which we all readily relate to) and for the process of destruction too (which includes all the stuff we generally abhor in our culture – death, sickness, disease, weariness, tiredness etc.).
Universal love would obviously include all forms of the field. That would imply it would also include society’s most hated criminals – serial killers, brutal hate crimes, all kinds of torturers, destructive leaders and every other form of stomach churning/pain inducing manifestations.

And then another common misconception of love is that, it implys/means that you MUST/OUGHT TO serve the CONTINUITY of existence for that living being/object (in whatever form) etc.
Why should that be the case?
Then again such a love is exclusive, since it might exclude your own well-being, like say a serial killer is attacking you.
If you love the serial killer, does it imply that you just ALLOW him to kill you? OR Do you kill him as a preemptive move in order to protect others you love? OR Are you supposed to simply defend yourself by causing the least harm to both yourself and the other?
What is the correct principle or behavior?
Each principle or behavior is invariably exclusive, while love is all-inclusive.
We can know about others only through their behavior.
How can we possibly have any ideology/conception with regards to what all-inclusive love looks like, when it transcends everything?
The love could be both, a nectar that draws you towards it and exalts you or it can also like the moth being pulled towards a flame.
The commonality in both cases is the PULL force.
Then is love the pulling force? No, we can’t say that, because then it excludes the pushing force.
Can a person not push you away, because he/she loves you? (sounds plausible right)
Eventually with this reasoning we may conclude love is existence itself.
But love transcends that too, and also includes non-existence.
I cannot even say love is the movement of existence because love would allow existence to move, be-still and even non-exist, since it is all inclusive.

This inquiry was to illuminate the common notions and expectations of love we uphold, which are all only various forms of exclusion.
Even the serial killer, after all, loves his serial killing hobby (it might make you cringe to even consider that).
In the light of all that, I even question, why do people insist on using the word ‘love’ to refer to the ultimate reality? Is that even appropriate, considering all the baggage it brings at every level?
If love is all inclusive, it allows EVERYTHING, including the most ghastly things that nobody would dare even call love.
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Journey to home

“Keep you eyes on the real goal” – I keep telling myself
As I navigate this territory without the ego structure
Sometimes higher goals appear, at other times chaos appears
Various gross and subtle fragments of identification fill up my entirety and pass through/change.
I cannot yet sense a ground.
I fall through various fragments/shifting identifications -> and shifting worlds.
I am like a true traveler, a psychic nomad, moving through various landscapes of the mind.
This is my journey towards home.
This is a unique territory that is to be navigated with my own intelligence.

I tell myself:
Trust that for each fragment encountered, life knows what it is doing.
Nothing is ever wasted.
No effort is ever in vain.
Flow with the divine will.
There is nothing to do, but to get out of the way
And let thy be done
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Following the Desire to change something never works

My desires and emotions are giving me a message about reality like “mathematics”.
I will listen to that directly without “resistance” or “desire to change it”.
“Desire to change something” is always a “Reaction” and not an “Action”.
This can be understood, by looking at “Forces” and Structures”
( Martial arts clearly demonstrates this principle in a tangible physical manner
Here is a wing-chun video that demonstrates this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r85CAAxJfQ )
A structure generates force, no structure = no force
So, desires and emotions are “forces” generated by an underlying “structure”.

The reality I experience is analogous to where I put my focus/attention.
When I INVEST in the DESIRE to change something, then I am investing my attention energy into the FORCE and not the STRUCTURE generating the force.
So as a result, I only become aware of the FORCE and the places it takes me to, and not of the structure itself that generated the force in the first place.
Consequently, the “STRUCTURE” which is the very thing I want to change, never enters my awareness (because I am too busy chasing the FORCE), and change is as a result – IMPOSSIBLE.

That is why Einstein said “A problem can never be solved at the level of consciousness in which it originated”.
Only transcending to a subtler level allows the structure to enter your awareness.

Letting go of the desire to change something, and BEING with the something, is the only way I can see the very structure and not get caught up by the paths created by the forces generated by the structure.
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Causeless winds vs. effort(caused) winds

Are you following the divine effortless winds? OR creating winds via. egoic effort?
Often, when there is no divine wind, the ego puts efforts and generates winds to compensate for the emptiness created.
This has the flavor of [draining, suffering, effort, struggle, desperation, pushing].
Its as if you are depleting your reservoir.

Instead I intuit that, when there is no wind, ideally one should just sit, and move only if a causeless wind is present.
I would like to move only from the causeless, and not from any generated force from any structure. Because every structure is a reservoir of divine energy and this stored energy is depleted as the structure exerts its own force and generates winds.
– When you are generating force with belief and investment, you are generating karma.
– When you are generating force, but belief and investment is not there, then it has the background of emptiness and there is no karma. It is like a de-clutched car, still moving from the momentum and structures of winds but without a powering force.
– When you are not generating any force, and when all the modulator wind generating structures (samskharas) have been atrophied and dissolved to just point potentials, you rest in the causeless and are moved only by the causeless wind.

* Karma is nothing but Becoming
* Living in the causeless is like living without becoming anything
* Structures in your consciousness that I speak about, are like entities inhabiting your experience field, that collect divine energy, and then accordingly generate/modulate winds in your consciousness, seeking to grow their structure. They are like viruses that trap divine energy – when the sun shines – and then generate forces from this stored energy in order to further themselves. That is the principle of ego (which is the mothership structure) and samskharas basically.
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Interdependence Insight

What makes a thing beautiful is the relativity around it.
It is all total interdependence.
For example, the girl who looks beautiful in the beach, has to thank:
– the people who made her swimwear,
– the swimwear cloth material existence itself
– the beach (for being a desirable place for people, and which puts them in the mood capable to such body admiration)
– the beach for being a socially accepted place to celebrate the body,
– thank the culture that permits that,
– thank the sunlight for shining on her,
– thank the “eyes of others” that allow them to perceive her at all
– her mom dad for telling her that she is beautiful,
– all the food that has gone into building her body,
– thank the gym space and equipment for giving her the tools for shaping the body
– all the other people who project ‘beauty’ on her and validate it (both historically and currently present in the beach)
– Her own genes, lineage
– Caste/Creed/Race, Health, Nationality, other such status symbols
– All the microorganisms in her body allowing her to stay like that
– She would have to thank her entire history, which is connected to everyone else’s history too.
And so on…
Its total interdependence.
Finally she has to thank her own consciousness for being alive to even be aware of all of this and to witness all that came together in creating the feeling of being beautiful.
Each and every object exists interdependently with all the other objects
Like the Indra’s web dew drop reflections.
Every essence is dependent on every other essence.
No essence stands alone.
It is the “relationship between all the essences/reflections” and interdependent relationships that allow the existence of the object essence itself.
Everything needs everything else.
No thing stands by itself.
All things stand because of the existence of all other things.

Like take the diamond in a velvet box –
the diamond has to thank all the lights around it,
the velvet box which contrasts it well,
the perceiver/observer of its beauty,
and its qualities come out with the movement of the observer, so it should also thank the observer’s movement.
(The diamond’s brilliance is omni-directional, however its qualities of FIRE and SPARKLE are visible only if the observer moves relative to the diamond)
Also the diamond has to thank all the other stones for not having these qualities such as sparkle, brilliance and fire.
The diamond’s specialness/uniqueness/value should give thanks to all the other non-quality possessing stones.
The diamond must also thank the observer’s consciousness which observes all of these qualities and admires it.
Everything is interdependent.
Similarly self-other, self-world, self-situation all go together too.
It is all the situations/others in your life that bring out your mysterious qualities.
You are what you are, because the universe it what it is, they both go together.
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Potential of pain/loss, the abyss of change

I think it is the potential of pain/loss that matters.
Every being has something he/she values whose loss will impact the same way.
It is loss of what you love. All pain is that.
What is this cruel place, where things that you love are given to you, only to be taken away?
That causes me to withdraw all investment from all things.
Because ALL can be lost.
You can only love when there is security.
In my case, I feel the most profound insecurity imaginable.
The insecurity has infiltrated every nook and corner of my being and all I can do is shrivel and contract in fear.
Also, the more I look into existence, I see that EVERYTHING can be lost.
If all ‘things’ can be lost, all ‘experience things/objects’ can be lost.
If all experience potentials too can also be fundamentally and irrevocably lost, then loving any thing, that kind of investment, is going to come with the full-blown pain of losing it too.
If that is the case then all investments will bring the full pain of loss.
All can be lost, its only a matter of time, before a thing can be taken away from you. It is inevitable.
That is the truth of death, which is a subset of the truth of change.
I feel I cannot hide anywhere from this, its not like I can hide my money in a safe, ‘things’ are experientially taken away from me.
Change just makes them disappear.
This truth of emptiness is terror for my ego which is in charge of emotional investments.
I live in fear/contraction/tightly-grasping to what I have at every moment.
This is profound insecurity.
I live like I’m in an exile, a hostile place all around.
The most intimate things too can be taken away from you.
As a result, I experience both passing pleasures and pain with this background deep insecurity and contraction of my investments. I’m terrified in the background at these sweeping tsunamis of change of state.
Nothing can be hidden from the higher frequency subtler source/god.
Its not a matter of trust or mistrust anymore.
Its a question about fully imbibing the truth of CHANGE, and that I am no-thing. All the terror is about the digestion of this potion in your being.
The “now you have it, now you don’t” game has been so so intense for me from the deepest to the grossest levels, I am frozen with fear/mild terror and hard grasping for security.
I don’t have a leg to stand on, the ground is being removed from my feet all the time.
I must die into and become the abyss of change itself.
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About ‘Doing’ and its implications

Another way to put across the principle would be:
Every assertion requires an assumed denial (as base state)
Every denial requires an assumed assertion (as base state)
This is the inherent dilemma with all “Doing” itself

Another way to put it would be: Doing is secondary to the structure that causes and justifies the doing.
For example: If I want to help someone, I have to first assume that he needs help and cannot help himself, and that I know what help he needs, and that I know the best thing he should do to help himself. All this is the narrative/background structure behind my action of helping.
Doing is like watching the ball roll down a mountain. But there are lot of things that have to be in place for that – the mountain, the slope, the gravity force and so on. That is the background set (as in cinema parlance)
The narrative I create behind the doing is the higher dimensional structure. That is my creation too. That is why it is said “Belief creates reality”.
Doing is simply the manifestation/symptom of the structure I have assumed/believed in.

Surrendering of all “Doing” is to live in the causeless
Where everything simply happens and doing happens too, but there is no “Doing” by an agent/ego/self(with small ‘s’)