Tag: Spirituality

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Desire as the root of consciousness/life/experience

Everything is dependent on desire.
Like you will work on relationships say, only if you desire relationship.
And only then does the whole structure of relationship etc. matter to you.
Else without that desire, the whole thing drops away and even falls out of consciousness/experience.
So desire drives consciousness.
Desire is the potential force that manifests consciousness.
It is this ‘desire’ that is called ‘love'(as I see it).
Total Non desire = No consciousness/No experience

And, there are infinite desires/desired possibilities, so this play of desire is what aligns you to structuring frameworks that shape you in their image (like being a body on earth bound by physical laws and body structure laws etc.), and consequently powers structures/investments/and their expansion into the larger structures with activities such like “aligning, harmonizing, changing” and so on.
If all I desire is source, then all other relationships/investments drop off.
The very consciousness of them drops off. Because consciousness needs desire.
The desires drop off not only from the investments, but from the structures themselves, and even from the larger structure creating mechanisms/matrixes themselves.
This can be seen as the moving away of desire from maya.
The relinquishing of desire from ALL of MAYA, draws all your desire back to its source, which ends desire, and also ends consciousness/experience itself.

This is the journey from: Jivaatma(Moon) —-to—– Paramatma(Sun)
To drop the accumulated-maya(karma) of the jivaatma and to get back its full merger into its source.
It may then emanate again as a fresh inspiration ray from the sun and once again participate in the grand maya matrix in a different role and different context.

Now a bit more about Maya:
Maya I see as multiple interlocking intertwined interdependent relational hierarchical heterarchical lattice matrix webs of patterning structures.
And these range all the way from the Grossest to the Subtlest.
Flouting those subtle energetic fields: brings instant resistance and pain – for e.g. in the social structure it is felt as being a misfit, awkwardness etc.
And in the physical world, you will injure your body if you flout the rules of the matrix of physical laws.
And fields inherently carry expectations(expectations first to BE and then the expectations to DO).
So say in the social world the individual people tuned into that field do not really exist, but are like bio-computers tuned to that field.
So the tyranny is from the field and the individual people tuned into that only execute it as its agents and appear as tangible feedback coming to you for the way you are and the way you act.
When something is loved, it is a blessing/treasure —else—– that very same thing is a oppression/prison/tyranny.

When one gets tired of ALL maya, the desire withdraws more and more from maya into subtler and subtler levels until the only desire is to return to the source. Then the desire is not for consciousness but for non-existence and a freedom from life itself. Because really you can have freedom from death only if you also have freedom from life also, because the 2 are simply dual pairs.
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Infinite relationship

All experience is relationship.
Relationship is infinite.
Relationship is impermanent.
Relationship is appearance.
Relationship is like a flowing river (you never step in the same river twice).
Relationship is always flowing/ebbing/moving/changing/shifting/dancing.
Relationship is NOW.
Relationship is ever-present.
Relationship is Whole.
Relationship is Living and Dynamic (not static/solid/fixed).
Every moment is a new relationship.
You are already related to every being and everything in the universe NOW.
There is only the endless realization/revelation of that which IS.
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The real YOU is the field itself

The you is only part of YOU.
The YOU[field(you)+field(-you)]
you are only an appearance within YOU.
The other/world appears as outside of you, but actually it is [YOU-you]
The YOU is the field itself AND all explicit consciousness in it and the implicit structure that creates that explicit projection.
The implicit structure and the explicit consciousness arise together and are mutually interdependent (independent+dependent).
‘you’ can take any role in the field possibilities.
But if ‘you’ do then the field will balance it by making the others around you take up the opposite roles to bring back the field’s structure.
So changing the ‘you’ to another role taken by the ‘other’ in your field does not change much except the point of view(pov).
You will still live in a similar reality seeing the same essential stuff just from a different pov ‘you’.
So transcendence is to free the field itself, the entire field of consciousness.
So that all the ‘you’-‘other’ fixed networks/patterns/possibilities in it are freed.
The field first fills itself – your descend into the world(say, this world) of form – along with an apparent ‘you’ inside it, that lives among apparent ‘others’ outside it.
Then the field empties itself – your ascent into the world(nirvana world) of the pure field.
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Death and Life are both NOW

When we speak of death, or think about it,
That is death as a thought/concept.
The concept of death is always connected to time.
It is a thought about the future, usually the far future.
“What will happen to me after I die, maybe 40 years or 60 years later?”
“How will I die? What will be my state at that time?
“What will I be feeling at that time?”
“Who will be beside me at that time?”
“What place will I be in (a hospital, my bedroom…)?”
All of that is death as a thought.

Fear of death happens when death is thought about.
The more imaginative a person is, the stronger he will feel it.
Because of the extent of deep extrapolation and conception he can do.
A powerful imagination superimposes itself over the base reality overloading it with “context/meaning/memory/past-future/likely possibilities”.
And then the body reacts to whatever picture that presents.

Death as a reality however is always NOW.
You face death now, You face life now.
Every moment is changing.
If you see what was lost(negative existence), you see death.
If you see what was gained(positive existence), you see life.
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Life and sound

Life is “experienced” as vibration or sound.
The essence of life itself is not vibration though.
The essence of life is “unknown/unknowable” (because it is subtler than all instruments) but it causes vibration when it permeates/communes/infuses with “matter/instruments/structures”.
The enlivening non-physical life energy causes the vibration/reverberation of the instrument, that results in the emanation/radiation of its sound.

The object’s/being’s structure and its sound radiation arise concomitantly depending on the life energy permeating it.
Just like how, as soon as you plug in your radio, the sound emanation starts from the speakers.
Greater life energy permeation will change the very structure of the object/being.
This is known as transformation in spiritual circles.
The best analogy for this is the phenomenon of Cymatics.
As the frequency of vibration of the plate is increased, the sand on the plate takes on more and more intricate structures.
As the frequency is raised, the previous structure goes into chaos, but when the higher milestone frequency is reached, a new structure emerges that is even more intricate and complex.
So if the life energy in you starts to raise its power and increase your vibration, you will go through transformation, your whole body structure will change.

We sense sound against the background of silence.
Like how you only hear a clock tick because of the silence underneath the tick.
There is also a relativity here.
You hear something only to the extent that it raises sound above your baseline level of silence.
Like say there is a fan running creating 45db of sound. If that is your base, that will drown out all the sounds under 45db. So you will consider that level to be the silent base wrt. all the other sounds that you hear.
Similarly, the intensity with which we experience life/sound, depends on how silent we are.
The more silent we are, the more intense the sounds will be.

Another interesting aspect is about the discrimination of sound.
Absolute silence would allow for absolute discrimination of sound.
To really listen/hear something in its entirety, you have to be totally silent.

The last related point I wanted to make:
You perceive the world, others, and objects, only relative to your own level of vibration, your own capacity to hold life energy.
A high frequency being can perceive a low frequency being in far higher resolution than the low frequency can perceive the high freq being.
Translating that to the ‘sound’ context, my ears can hear a tuning fork vibrating, because the vibration of my ear instrument is far subtler than the vibration of the tuning fork.
So it is that difference that I perceive to be the sound of the tuning fork.
So all perception is relative.
Finer your instrument, the more you can hear life.
So if you think about it, absolute silence is “infinite vibration”.
So silence being infinitely subtle vibration, it is capable of perceiving all other vibration.
It is like having the ultimate ear, that can hear all other ears too.
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Paradoxes and Oxymorons of Truth

PARADOXES:
Truth is:
Freedom ——— Rule based
Free will ——- Predetermined
Unconstrained — Constrained
Local ——————– Non-local
Light ———– Dark
Known ———– Unknown
Consciousness —- Unconsciousness
Unchanging ——- Changing
Essence ———- Non-essence
Illusion ———— Reality
Attained/Strive —– Already here/Realized
Complex ————— Simple
Multiple —————- One
Focused ————– Broad
Graspable ————- Ungraspable
Limited —————- Unlimited
Something ————- Nothing

OXYMORONS:
Truth is:
Freedom-based rules ——– Rule-based freedom
Free predetermination ——— Predetermined free
Unconstrained constrainment ——- Constrained unconstrainment
Localized non-locality ———— Non-localized locality
Light Dark ————- Dark Light
Known Unknown ——- Unknown known
Conscious Unconsciousness ——- Unconscious consciousness
Unchanging changing ———— Changing Unchanging
Essential non-essence ——— Non-essential essence
Illusory reality ————– Real illusion
Attained realization ———- Realized Attainment
Complexly Simple ———– Simply complex
Multiple One —————– One Multiple
Focused Broad ——– Broad Focused
Graspable Ungraspable ——— Ungraspable Graspable
Limited Unlimited ———– Unlimited Limited
Something made of Nothing ———- Nothing made of Something
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Is your deeper desire to transcend the physical?

Today, I was travelling in a shared taxi and the passenger next to me had a moderate cold (cold virus) and was constantly sniffling. As a reaction to this, I tensed up my body esp. in the stomach and chest, tightening all those inner muscles, and tried to breathe less, and look away from him as much as possible.
The journey lasted 30m, so this condition I was in was getting painful, and I felt really irritated at the passenger beside me, feeling an impulse to just attack him. I ofcourse restrained myself, and put up with this resistance within me and when I reached my destination, the ordeal was over, and I could finally breathe normally again.

Even as those sensations happened in the taxi, I vowed to myself that I would stay AS CONSCIOUS AS POSSIBLE of every single thing happening.
A lot of deep insights came to me even while all of this was happening.
The first insight was that: Actually, my deeper self was ready to allow the cold virus to enter me. My deeper self felt like a omni-directional vacuum unconditionally receiving. It was attracting everything indiscriminately, and the resistance and tightening up I felt was my human self’s/body’s response to the deeper self’s indiscriminate vacuum like attraction.

So my body tightened from within as a protection, to prevent the destructive energy(cold virus) from being pulled in. So though it felt like the other man was to blame for my painful body contraction and so on, I could see that it was only an appearance/projection.
In reality I was afraid of my own deeper self’s attraction, and was resisting against that.
Then I thought about that more deeply, and realized, all fear is essentially your resistance to your own [higher/deeper self’s attraction], isn’t it? (the deeper self could represent the unconscious layer of self beneath the surface feelings/emotions/thoughts felt)
Another example of this would be, when I would peep out of a low balcony at a great height, say 500ft above the ground, I would wonder as to ‘why do I get the fear of falling felt as a contraction/restraint feeling?
I felt the resistance/contraction felt which is termed ‘fear’ which acts counter to the falling movement, is really my resistance towards my own deeper self’s desire to actually FALL (there is an attraction to let go and fall).
The same is true when sometimes if I look at a girl who is provocatively dressed and attractive to me, I feel FEAR (sensation is of contraction and restraint).
What am I really fearing? My fear is actually preventing my deeper self from acting on its desire of being drawn to her.
Similarly, if someone is acting rudely and violating me, I feel fear again, because it is to restrain me (my deeper desire) from attacking him back, which would lead to undesirable consequences for me in the larger picture.
So I see that all fear is me stopping myself, restraining myself from acting on a deeper impulse/force/desire felt.
There could be wisdom in fear too.
Because a wise man has greater vision and can see far-ranging consequences of actions.
Fear/Contraction/Restraint/Stifling is not necessarily negative.

Now, I went further into the inquiry, wondering about, why is the deeper part of me attracting destruction/destructive forces to me?
This has been happening for as long as I remember, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
Why is my higher self against my physical thriving? (why do I have a hermit lifestyle? why am I not investing in material security, relationship security etc.?)
When I pondered on this, I realized there is a lot of background metaphysics context that is needed to really look into this question.
What I am resisting/fearing is destruction/dissolution and what I am looking forward to is maintenance/enhancement.
But that part of me is only a small part of me.
There are many more deeper dimensions.
The metaphysics relevant for this case is that:
“Form itself represents lower energy.
The formless is higher energy, and the formless is FREE to take any form as its appearance. But form by itself cannot change without the aid of the formless energy transforming it.”
I remember from my earliest days, my deepest desire was for freedom.
And since the physical form is inherently limited and low energy, I always wanted to transcend it.
That is why I never invested much in my physical identity.
I pondered: Could this be one of the transition stages, one of my final incarnations, to really complete the impulses/desires of the physical and finishing up before moving on to the subtler higher energy realms?
That resonates with the way I have felt all my life.
So then in a way, my higher self is purposely attracting destructive forces, and it reminds me of the dialogue from the movie Jacob’s ladder:
“The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won’t let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they’re not punishing you, he said. They’re freeing your soul. If you’re frightened of dying and… and you’re holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. It’s just a matter of how you look at it.”
When a sugar cube gets dissolved into water, is it getting destroyed? or is there simply a transformation of essence?
When seen from a limited perspective, it looks like destruction is destroying essence itself but really, the essence only changes into a subtler form.
Like say I take gold and powder it, and powder it until you cannot see the powder, it will look like the gold has vanished. But really it has only vanished from your perception, not in essence.
Similarly I think, the resistance/fear is coming from the portion of me identified with the physical body, the animal part of me.
Every form/structure/formation/cell resists dissolution.
Like centripetal and centrifugal force, there are 2 forces in us:
‘Self preservation(identification with form)’ and ‘Longing to dissolve(identification with formless)’ forces.
It is not one or the other, rather it is about which is greater.
So when the higher self being a stronger force moves you along the path of dissolution into a higher energy essence form, your lower self experiences change/death, and that is why the resistance and in a way, this suffering is inevitable and can be greatly reduced if the deeper metaphysics is fully understood.
The despair/doom/pain/suffering/resistance are all experiences of the part of that is identified with form.
But if the part of you that longs for freedom is too strong, it will lead you into dissolution.
Notice your longings carefully, and you will see that all that is happening is working with perfection according to the actuals of the forces within.

The 2 drives:
Life drive ——–and——– Death drive
Are both resistances from the lower mortal self -> 2 kinds of rebellion.
To try to die faster than it is happening is to direct aggression towards destruction = death drive.
To try to keep/maintain or enhance things when they are not supported by the higher, is to again direct aggression towards enhancement or maintenance of status quo = life drive.
So what it means in truth/essence is that, life = transformation.
It is now. It is the direct vibration of perception itself.
To the mortal self: It feels like:
Construction = heaven —— Destruction = hell.
But to the deeper self, it is the opposite:
Construction of mortal form = limitation = lower energy state of being —— Destruction of the mortal form = Dissolution = Freedom = Higher energy subtler state of being.
Both the perspectives of the mortal self and the deeper self are simultaneously operating.
Feel your inner space, and understand their dynamics within you, and when you fully allow both construction and destruction, you become the allowing itself, and get subsumed into the NOW.
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Life force is the true currency

violetfire

Imagine if there is a ‘life force slider’ and a ‘1 sec = 1 day time’ lapse of a person standing.
If you make life force 0, how long will the degeneration take? 5 to 10 secs?
Whereas if you make the life force full, for say 80 years of life, how long would the degeneration take then? approx 8.75 hours.
So the nature’s degradation rate (its own force) = 5 secs or less
And the rate of degeneration when having life force = 8 hours 45 minutes = 31500 seconds = 6300 times greater than nature’s degradation.
So life force degradation = 6300 times slower than nature’s/earth’s degradation.
That is the level of difference life force makes.

Think of the implications of this.
So we can say, the entirety of your system’s body and its integrity is UPHELD by LIFE-FORCE (prana) only.
Otherwise your body/system/structure will consumed in practically an instant by earth’s natural forces, back into itself.
So all aging is only from the reduction in life force energy.
And all youthing(if there is such a word) is only from the increase in life force energy.
Aging (lose life force) ——————- Youthing (provide life force)
The invisible ‘life force/prana/shakti’ is the real determinant and the ‘only real currency’ fundamentally speaking.

Now, what are the determinants of life force?
If life force itself is invisible then wouldn’t its determinants also be invisible and even subtler?
How can the gross things like food/lifestyle etc. be the determinant of life force?
The gross can only facilitate or impair life force, but it cannot DETERMINE life force.
So by studying the gross you are only studying facilitation, you are only working within the means and making the best adjustments.
It is like learning to live within your means and budget, but it will not INCREASE your fundamental amount of money available.
It will do nothing in terms of understanding the life force itself, and like I wrote earlier that is the TRUE CURRENCY.
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The guru is really your own higher self

Projectionoflight

The greatest pain (that I have experienced) is of separation and disconnection.
Whenever a person is connected, one can see a beehive around them, i.e. all the people attracted to that connection to source energy.
Everyone needs/longs for this connection to live/survive/thrive, and therefore everyone seeks this, they are drawn to all the conduits that transmit the source power.
So when a person gets firmly connected, his extent of connection determines the attraction gravity he/she sets up.
The more powerful their connection, the larger their energetic influence, and more the people sitting in their shadow and gravity.

The opposite is seen, when there is total disconnection, the energy/power then of the person is even smaller than their own body, they simply struggle to survive, hold their own coherence.
In transformation, one can be completely reduced to pulp approaching a total chaos of the creative force (it depends on the extent of transformation that is happening).
Buddha, Jesus, Krishna, Vivekananda, Lao Tzu and all the greatest spiritual teachers in history have had enormous connection to source power.

But the degree of connection visible is only the smaller part of the truth.
Don’t judge a work in its unfinished state, esp. when it has been dismantled totally into an incoherent chaotic pulp.
It only appears like there is no connection, but one is closer to the light than ever before and one is being DONE in its image. Being transformed, being resurrected, being remade.
The total unknowing, dark night of the soul where you are blinded (none of your instruments help in this terrain), makes you understand that it is not by your efforts (what you call ‘you’) that this transformation is happening.
Infact ‘you’ yourself are being remade by a higher power.
Really, everyone is looking for a conduit to grace/god/divine/…
When your longing is deep enough, it eventually(in time, as a journey) carries you to the greatest connection/wisdom.
Deeper the longing = Greater the transformation = Greater the power/wisdom/vision/inclusion = Greater the connection = Greater the transcendence.
The longing is the potential energy that will unfold into kinetic transformation/manifestation.
It is a process of ENFOLDMENT(longing, potential, seed sprouting) -> UNFOLDMENT(actualization, kinetic, tree becoming).
All desires are potentials, and their flowering are the trees.
It is from the ground of filth that the beauty of a tree emerges.
Both filth and beauty have their divine purpose and go together.

The outer guru, is a catalyst, the hope, the potential coming/appearing, the becoming, in manifest form.
When you meet your guru, you see your own potential in its manifest state.
Your recognition of the guru, is your inner recognition of your own higher self and higher potential/possibility.
That recognition of your own higher potential (projected as the outer guru) results in the surrender/devotion that follows.

All manifest is a projection of the inner experience.
The guru is yourself, none other than your own higher self appearing to you as the guru.
Your recognition of the guru, is your recognition of your own higher self/possibility/your own higher potential.
And the surrender/devotion/work that follows is the projection of your own higher self consuming/taking you/transforming you/absorbing you into itself.

 

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Heal the world by healing your inner images

Disco-Violet-Light-Abstract-Art1

You see intention everywhere in everyone’s faces.
They more often than not ‘mirror’ your own intentions towards them in the unconscious.
Does everyone want you to die? OR Does everyone want you to live happily?
What is their intention? as you see it.
It often mirrors the intention you carry for them in your unconscious.
In the unconscious, “It is a tooth for a tooth”, what you carry is projected as such.
So the way to heal your outer world, is from the intent/relationship you carry to the inner image of the world.
To heal others, first heal and connect the inner images you carry about them to god.
That is the chasm that has to be bridged by raising intelligence/understanding.
Current world view/view of others ——–chasm———– God
The outer is only a mirror of the inner space happenings which is closer to the source.