Tag: Psychology

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The unspeakable torture possible from the mother

This is to speak about a case where the mother clings to the infant stage of the child’s growth, and actively and violently opposes its development and independence beyond that stage, so as to keep getting great narcissistic supplies from the child of “adoration/respect/desirability/admiration/grandiosity/greatness/praise” and enjoy a god like feeling of power and omnipotence in comparison to the child.

Remember, all power is relative.
So the power differential between the infant and the mother is the greatest possible difference.
The mother can get instantly addicted to THIS level of narcissistic supply from the child, and this will esp. happen if the mother did not have any life of her own and had a dependent personality before the event of child birth.
Once deeply addicted to this care-giving and protecting role, the mother may actively oppose the child’s independence, be hostile to the developing child beyond the age of 2 itself.
The mother can actively reinforce the dependence again and again ad infinitum, conveying that “you need me, you cannot live without me” in a million ways said and unsaid.
Such a mother focuses the child only on itself, and the child sacrifices its own self-awareness to please the mother developing codependence.
Really after all the origins of codependence is the narcissistic parent who purposely enforces dependence in subliminal, indirect, and direct ways, and actively opposes the child’s developing separation and independence, so that they can have an endless source of narcissistic supply and meaning from the child.
Often they also cleverly hide it by programming the child to believe, it was its own choice to be that way, and that it can’t help it.
They may even keep telling the neighbors and friends things like “my child needs me for everything, they are such a burden, I keep telling them to do things by themselves, but they keep coming back to me, what can I do?!”
This is just the narcissists game.
This is a microcosmic version of the game of training a slave to believe that he is actually not a slave, but is choosing from his free will.
It all starts at this level.

Just like doctors who save patients are considered to be doing a divine profession higher in value and weight than most other professions, mothers are given this kind of deification and supreme value too.
So a mother can exploit this for a long time, by actively working to keep the child dependent on her and opposing the child’s development/independence in every crooked, unspeakable mystical way possible.
I can elaborate on all those psychic techniques but that may detract from the main points I want to convey in this post.

This can be experienced as extreme suffocation, stifling, and pain, for the child.
But since it is programmed to idolize the mother, it can never imagine going against the mother.
So it condemns itself, and thinks it is the real problem, and the god-like omnipotent mother is always right.
It thinks if it is pained by the mother, it is because, it is defective and needs to be fixed.
And later in life this may slide to depression if it loses all hope after trying out everything and failing.
In truth, this whole thing was really engineered and transmitted from the mother herself.
In the progression of this myth, from this child’s point of view, total powerlessness and despair and depression is an EXPECTED stage that has to be passed.

The mother’s relationship has to keep evolving as the child evolves/grows/matures/separates/independent-izes itself.
So for different people this happens at different times, depending upon the stage of development the mother herself is in.
If the mother herself identifies with being a helpless infant, then she resonates with the child only at that stage, and the child cannot grow beyond that, because it directly faces the threat of losing resonance with the mother.
So the child is then forced to stay infantile even in its later years.
It may be successful in society, but internally its egoic climate is still at the level of the infant only.
So the child may find himself/herself as helpless, powerless, at the mercy of circumstances, unable to establish any identity, and constantly wandering aimlessly.
It may find itself as hyper-sensitive, easily hynotizable and living in a dream-like feeling all the time, and many other such feelings.
It becomes like a Bonsai(miniature) tree, that has grown but not been allowed to grow at the same time.
Often, the child may feel this as a global feeling of being trapped in an incredibly oppressive world, and may become apathetic and depressed from the impossible struggle it would take to change anything in its favor.
Really, this projection of such a tyrannical world, has its roots in the tyrannical mother herself, because it was the mother who was tyrannical in the sense of opposing the child’s independence, and that is later felt by the child as a tyrannical world view itself.

What I speak about here is of unspeakable depth.
Things far less deep, are spoken about so much in society, as so called deep issues.
Real power is always invisible, and the power that is visible is always much lower.
For example here, the mother-child bond is done in secrecy, in the darkness, in great trust.
Nobody ever questions it, and you are shamed even if remotely begin to investigate.
This is a giant taboo in society, because any questioning of it breaks its supremely sanctified and sacred status.
My point is, great wonders and horrors can happen at this stage, at intensities even beyond the most powerful psychedelics.

There has always been extensive talk in society about abusive husbands etc.
Imagine a hyper-possessive husband who keeps his wife like his possession and pet, and pleases her when he wants, beats her up when he wants.
Basically keeps her like his trophy wife, seals her from the outer world, prevents her from having any life outside of him, and controls her like a pleasure-giving slave.
Does this horrify you?
Now, this example I gave above is a weak analogue of the mother-infant situation I describe.
Think about it: What is power? Isn’t all what we call power, a relative concept?
The relativity comes from the power difference.
What is the difference of power between this man and woman living as husband and wife?
And compare that to the difference between a mother (say aged 25+) and an infant(age 0-2)?
The mother for the infant is like an omnipotent god-like being and giant.
But you know what, society will speak endlessly about male violence against women etc.
And this mother-infant dyad, is shrouded, kept under wraps and wraps, sanctified, deified, and any torture that you faced here gets buried as YOUR shame, unspeakable shame of phenomenal intensity.

My point here is not to entirely blame the mother.
The mother herself maybe unconscious of her real power, and how much she affects the infant (the other developing being).
I might have pushed some buttons in this article, but this is in the interest of really looking into this territory of deep psyche experience.
Even if you are a woman, you were also brought up by your mother, so this is not gender-specific.
The purpose of this article, is to illuminate this realm, and to awaken people to it so that they can heal themselves and gain their own insights about their own deep psyche.
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Sanity is relative

The concept of sanity is relative.
Relative to the:
1. Level of vision
2. Level of perception
4. Level of consciousness (LOC concept from David Hawkins)
5. Number/breadth/height of perspectives you can see
6. The dynamic range of perspectives you can hold at a time
7. The extent of your spatial vision
8. The extent of your temporal vision both forward (future) and backward (past)
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Reflections on my life experience now

wave

I am not able to understand anything totally.
All my ‘intellectual grasps’ are like views from high points of different waves arising in the ocean.
What is the ocean itself?
The more I inquire I see that I am not perception at all.
I am deep sleep itself, the cessation, the void, the unmanifest, from which manifest-conscious arises like a wave and passes back.

This is a time in my life where the ocean does not have any 1 continuous wave, but rather has 100s of waves arising and passing.
Each time, my “perception” arises out of the wave, as a relationship between the wave and the ocean, and then returns to the ocean in deep sleep again.
The ocean is the true fount of my creativity, it creates waves of creative-impulse/inspiration that rise up as manifest-consciousness and after that return to the unmanifest.
The wave is a new creative thought/form/relationship/connection/theme/frame/theory/idea/insight.

It seems like perception and separation are connected because perception is always a relationship.
No relationship = ONE = Union = No perception = A void.

I see a continuous BIPOLAR state in me:
Wildly and quickly oscillating, waxing-waning, coming-going, rising-falling, empowering-disempowering, bright-dark, energetic-dull, free-afflicted.
This strong cycling of dualities makes visible the emptiness and non-essence of all of it.
I am neither depressed nor happy, neither free nor afflicted, neither interested nor bored.
Each is a state of consciousness, a state of the wave’s relationship to the ocean.
When the ocean emits the wave = it creates the positive emotion from the wave’s point of view.
When the ocean pulls back the wave = it create the negative emotion from the wave’s point of view.

Essentially, it is the attachment to the ‘States of consciousness (SOCs)’ that is being tested.
The attachment results in [pleasure+fear] in the rise cycle, and [pain+longing] in the fall cycle.
I realize that my desire is for the WAVE itself and its point of view vs. flatlining into the ocean.
The waves/cycles have also been intense and narrow for me, which causes a mild psychosis like feeling.
The intense creative activity of mine is showing that I am operating very close to ocean.
That is why there is the constant alternation between the ‘end of me’ and the ‘me arising each time differently from a new inspiration’.
I have not had any continuous long-range inspiration at this stage of life nor in this life in general.

We move away from god/unmanifest in an inbreath – wave rising.
We move towards god/unmanifest in an outbreath – wave falling.
My life experience now is more like a series of short-waves, flutter breaths (rapid extremely shallow in-out breaths).
It is like like living 1000s of lives in one life, in very rapid cycles.

I realize my attachments are much more abstract than I thought.
I cling to the peaks of the cycle, and try to increase its dynamic range, i.e. I try to make the lights brighter, and the darks darker.
Each arising wave is like an upsurge of inspiration that separates me from the ocean and allows separation/perception/consciousness/relationship, which is what I desire.
This is my WILL to be, my WILL to exist, my WILL to rise and live as a wave.
So I then try to hold on to these inspirations as far as possible.
This is why there is this continuous clinging present.

It is like living a new character in a new movie everyday, and each time you continuously cling to the movie, because you do not want it to end.
It is like struggling to be born, because various desires push our a wave of birth/inspiration, but they only last a day at most and return to the ocean.
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Your conceptual mind functions holographically

Let us understand a few basics about holograms that would apply here:
1. Holograms are as the name suggests, always whole.
2. Every part of the hologram contains the whole.
3. The additional elements of the hologram only add ‘detail’, but the inherent same wholeness is carried by all the parts.
4. For example if you cut a hologram into half, then both the halfs that would result from would contain the same whole albeit in less detail.

From what I’ve read, our entire brain works like a hologram.
Even if you take away half of the brain, the wholeness of consciousness stays, only the details are lost.
So this validates another concept that resonates with me that the brain and body are only FOCUSING instruments of the potentials of consciousness.
Something like a channeling or focusing instrument.
Like putting a slide in front of the projector light that projects the image on the slide.
The ‘slide image’ is like our body and brain.
Suppose the ‘slide image’ gets smudged, then the projector light will still shine through the slide, but it would create a really hazy and blurry image.
The source of consciousness is like the projector light, and it shines through the body and projects our experiences.
Like how electricity is everywhere, but our device channels it in a certain way to produce a certain output, similarly, our body focuses the light of consciousness in a certain way, much like a prism or diamond diffracts white light entering it.

I read somewhere that in certain kinds of autism, the person cannot form abstract concepts at all.
For instance, he cannot comprehend the full concept of what a dog is.
That part of the brain does not capture the “Conceptual Image” of dog.
So when you say dog, he can recall 10s of particular images of different dogs, but he cannot understand ‘dog’ as an abstract concept.
This means that, that part of his brain is unable to FOCUS the “abstract conceptual image” of a dog.
So what this example conveyed to me was that, our conceptual mind is a certain abstract structure in our brain that focuses and sees the ‘abstract concepts’ in the particulars. The recognition of the ‘dog concept’ when looking at the particular/literal dog.
This conceptual imaging part of our brain, works holographically, and brings into focus these abstract conceptual images.
Only once these are perceived in the first place by this part, can memories be stored and recalled.
Once the GENERIC concept is captured, all specific/particular knowledge and details learned/gained thereafter only add to the detail of the concept image, but not to the intrinsic qualia/wholeness of what was perceived (just like the hologram).

That is why in spiritual circles, the concept of awakening and initiation abounds.
Because the part of you that sees the forest in the trees has to be awakened, in a far larger context than your day to day conceptual mind.
Moving from literals to the daily conceptual mind itself is in itself a huge evolutionary jump and an awakening.
The awakening of the symbolic/metaphysical/archetypal/mythological/theological/soul level of mind is another jump of evolution.
Only after this is awakened can such symbols, motifs, themes, and super abstract ideas even be cognized/perceived/recognized.
And it is only after they are perceived first, can they be stored(memory), named, and spoken about.

The spectrum is basically from:
Literal —literal mind—-daily conceptual mind—-symbolic metaphysical mind— Abstract
Like to see a picture you need to stand far enough back for your vision-frame to contain it.
If you are too close you only see pixels and you cannot see the ‘picture’.
So there are different vertical heights of vision possible.
A person at a very high height of perception is called a visionary.
Similarly a person at a very low height of perception is a very literal focused person.

Seeing the forest in the trees, and seeing a picture in the pixels, happens not by the same part of the mind that perceived the trees or pixels, but by a dimensionally higher qualitatively different part of the mind.
Concepts reside in the 5th dimension, in the plato’s world of eternal forms.
So it is all RECOGNITION.
You only recognize the higher form with the cue of the literal form.
All lower forms are only representational cues that point and thereby connect you to the higher forms.
The literal objects we see are shadows of the higher dimensional concepts in the 5D plato’s world of forms.
They are only a representational cue or aid of the higher dimensional perception.
For instance, how does a child learn language?
Isn’t it all words pointing to words?
All words are empty by themselves and they only point to the child’s direct experiences/perceptions/recognitions.
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Core beliefs and the 4 responses

Core beliefs:
# Is the world real and am I unreal? = Fawn response
# Am I real? and is the world unreal? = Fight response
# Are both me and the world unreal? and only something beyond is real? = Freeze response
# Are the world and me real, everything beyond that is unreal ? = Flight response
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Madness is a distorted mirror

Madness is a distorted mirror.
For someone with a concrete identity, who is clearly identified with a specific structure of human experience and possibility, the mad person does not affect them much.
Because they do not identify with them at all.
We are not affected by things and people we do not identify with.
They see the mad person as totally separate from them.
However, for someone who is highly open, fluid, with vast vision and empathy, who recognizes in himself the potentials of the entire collective human consciousness itself, this witnessing of madness will hurt/pain a lot.
Because, here the deep visionary and empath can recognize himself in the mad person too.
It is like seeing a funky mirror at an amusement park, that distorts your face making your nose super large, eyes and chin super small etc.
For the person with a concrete identity, he just looks at it and flatly denies having anything to do with that reflection, he just says “this is not me”.
But for the deep visionary, it is trickier, because he is not identified with any fixed concrete identity as such, and sees himself with all possibilities of the collective consciousness.
So, when he sees the distorted mirror in the amusement park, he knows that, that is his face, a distorted version version of his original face.
The difference between the concrete person and the visionary is that, the concrete person believes the mad person is totally separate and has nothing to do with him, while the deep empath visionary can see the mad person IS HIM, in a greatly distorted form.
We are not affected by the things in which we cannot see ourselves in.
That is the root of empathy, is it not?
When your identity is sufficiently subtle, you see yourself in and as everyone and everything.

When you are young, you are mirrored in your mother’s and father’s image of you, which becomes your social identity (relational identity, ego).
If they mirror you in a seriously chaotic inconsistent mirror, then that becomes your “social identity/relational identity/ego”.
You are then never sure of your security, desirability, lovability, value etc.
Because the parent’s mad fluctuations keeps changing you from an angel to a devil randomly.
So then you start living in fear/anxiety all the time because you never know what wrong you have done, what punishment you are going to get, what expectation is going to be shoved on you etc.
They then keep you walking on eggshells all the time.
In order to adapt to those mad expectation projections on you from the parents, you have to keeping shaping yourself too accordingly.
So the end-result is, even your structure will mirror the mad parents.
The interesting thing to note here is that, madness at this intra-family level is only related to “inconsistency”.
A consistent interaction pattern no matter what it is, within the family, will be coherence and sanity. It may be totally mad with respect to the outside world however.
That is why the tyrant is a particular adaptation to madness, where he creates some arbitrary pattern and then stays ultra consistent in his investment to that, forcing others to abide by the same too, punishing them whenever they don’t.
A second adaptation to tolerate madness would be, to completely sacrifice yourself to the other and always changing yourself to match and harmonize with the changing random moods of the mad person.
The third adaptation I can think of is to completely isolate yourself, so that the self-other “painful difficult dynamic” can be totally avoided.
These 3 types of adaptation are essentially the: fight, fawn, flight responses.
If nothing works, and you are stuck in a inescapable situation, then the freeze response happens, where you lose consciousness of the entire self-other dynamic and float away in some out of body dissociated state.
At the societal level, the macrocosm mirrors the microcosm, that is:
The 4 categories of fight/fawn/flight/freeze form:
tyrants/followers/outcasts/hermits

The insight I get is: “People see me as they are, not as I am”.
But then it is also true that: “What I know as myself is only the internalized reflections from others”.
Because one cannot know oneself any more than a candle flame can burn itself.
So this is part of the “self-other” interdependent matrix.
Disharmony/Distortion/Projection = madness —vs— Harmony/Clarity/Independence = Sanity
Madness is always relative.
It is the discordant note in the symphony.
If you were born in a mad family, then the structures that you form mirror that circumstance and outcast/separate you too.
The same can be said about the parents themselves.
Maybe they themselves were the effect of mad circumstances.
So in this way, madness propagates itself in the genetic chain.

The way I deal with madness is, I work to transcend it.
By understanding the higher laws/dharma/truths beyond the madness, I work from that footing on fixing the madness in me and others.
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Experience of time

Life is neither long nor short.
Clock time does not exist by itself or independently in our experience.
Clock time has no substance but derives all its substance from ‘psychological time’.
All experience of time in essence is ‘psychological time’.
We tune ourselves (our psychological time) to the clock only for social and collaboration convenience.
And psychological time is connected to goals/desires.
Each goal/desire sets up psychological time for you to ride that wave.
Your experience of time is a lot more connected to your heart’s desires.
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The seduction of social media images

Pictures are extremely limited information.
They are all porn and seductions.
They are all “A PART disguising itself as the WHOLE”.
The wholes/actuals/depths are millions of times vaster.
That is why, social media: facebook, tinder, twitter, linked in, blogs, instagram -> nothing really shows more than 0.01%.
It is all an alluring bait.
A carefully created MASK, to HIDE from and substitute for the whole ocean of the truth.
Taking the best parts(tapping the collective human fantasy coming from the collective shame, insecurities and illusions) and further heavenly-fying it [super enhanced 0.01%].
It is marketing, advertising, deception, masking, and it is conveying a specific message.
What is the picture that everyone is attempting to convey?
To advertise that their life is great, that they are secure, they know their shit, that they are sought-after, significant, popular, loved, admirable and worthy?
And people try to die into these socially created images, and lose themselves into it.
So that, this can serve as a perfect antidote/mask for all their shame and insecurities.
The origin of this is SHAME, both individual and collective.
I see it as a form of escapism and narcissism, all narcissism is after all rooted in the shame (the same root).
To narrow oneself into what is celebrated and acceptable, and disown all the other parts of oneself, and make-believe that image is all one is, and invest one’s whole life into this extraordinary limitation.
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Is your deeper desire to transcend the physical?

Today, I was travelling in a shared taxi and the passenger next to me had a moderate cold (cold virus) and was constantly sniffling. As a reaction to this, I tensed up my body esp. in the stomach and chest, tightening all those inner muscles, and tried to breathe less, and look away from him as much as possible.
The journey lasted 30m, so this condition I was in was getting painful, and I felt really irritated at the passenger beside me, feeling an impulse to just attack him. I ofcourse restrained myself, and put up with this resistance within me and when I reached my destination, the ordeal was over, and I could finally breathe normally again.

Even as those sensations happened in the taxi, I vowed to myself that I would stay AS CONSCIOUS AS POSSIBLE of every single thing happening.
A lot of deep insights came to me even while all of this was happening.
The first insight was that: Actually, my deeper self was ready to allow the cold virus to enter me. My deeper self felt like a omni-directional vacuum unconditionally receiving. It was attracting everything indiscriminately, and the resistance and tightening up I felt was my human self’s/body’s response to the deeper self’s indiscriminate vacuum like attraction.

So my body tightened from within as a protection, to prevent the destructive energy(cold virus) from being pulled in. So though it felt like the other man was to blame for my painful body contraction and so on, I could see that it was only an appearance/projection.
In reality I was afraid of my own deeper self’s attraction, and was resisting against that.
Then I thought about that more deeply, and realized, all fear is essentially your resistance to your own [higher/deeper self’s attraction], isn’t it? (the deeper self could represent the unconscious layer of self beneath the surface feelings/emotions/thoughts felt)
Another example of this would be, when I would peep out of a low balcony at a great height, say 500ft above the ground, I would wonder as to ‘why do I get the fear of falling felt as a contraction/restraint feeling?
I felt the resistance/contraction felt which is termed ‘fear’ which acts counter to the falling movement, is really my resistance towards my own deeper self’s desire to actually FALL (there is an attraction to let go and fall).
The same is true when sometimes if I look at a girl who is provocatively dressed and attractive to me, I feel FEAR (sensation is of contraction and restraint).
What am I really fearing? My fear is actually preventing my deeper self from acting on its desire of being drawn to her.
Similarly, if someone is acting rudely and violating me, I feel fear again, because it is to restrain me (my deeper desire) from attacking him back, which would lead to undesirable consequences for me in the larger picture.
So I see that all fear is me stopping myself, restraining myself from acting on a deeper impulse/force/desire felt.
There could be wisdom in fear too.
Because a wise man has greater vision and can see far-ranging consequences of actions.
Fear/Contraction/Restraint/Stifling is not necessarily negative.

Now, I went further into the inquiry, wondering about, why is the deeper part of me attracting destruction/destructive forces to me?
This has been happening for as long as I remember, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
Why is my higher self against my physical thriving? (why do I have a hermit lifestyle? why am I not investing in material security, relationship security etc.?)
When I pondered on this, I realized there is a lot of background metaphysics context that is needed to really look into this question.
What I am resisting/fearing is destruction/dissolution and what I am looking forward to is maintenance/enhancement.
But that part of me is only a small part of me.
There are many more deeper dimensions.
The metaphysics relevant for this case is that:
“Form itself represents lower energy.
The formless is higher energy, and the formless is FREE to take any form as its appearance. But form by itself cannot change without the aid of the formless energy transforming it.”
I remember from my earliest days, my deepest desire was for freedom.
And since the physical form is inherently limited and low energy, I always wanted to transcend it.
That is why I never invested much in my physical identity.
I pondered: Could this be one of the transition stages, one of my final incarnations, to really complete the impulses/desires of the physical and finishing up before moving on to the subtler higher energy realms?
That resonates with the way I have felt all my life.
So then in a way, my higher self is purposely attracting destructive forces, and it reminds me of the dialogue from the movie Jacob’s ladder:
“The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won’t let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they’re not punishing you, he said. They’re freeing your soul. If you’re frightened of dying and… and you’re holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. It’s just a matter of how you look at it.”
When a sugar cube gets dissolved into water, is it getting destroyed? or is there simply a transformation of essence?
When seen from a limited perspective, it looks like destruction is destroying essence itself but really, the essence only changes into a subtler form.
Like say I take gold and powder it, and powder it until you cannot see the powder, it will look like the gold has vanished. But really it has only vanished from your perception, not in essence.
Similarly I think, the resistance/fear is coming from the portion of me identified with the physical body, the animal part of me.
Every form/structure/formation/cell resists dissolution.
Like centripetal and centrifugal force, there are 2 forces in us:
‘Self preservation(identification with form)’ and ‘Longing to dissolve(identification with formless)’ forces.
It is not one or the other, rather it is about which is greater.
So when the higher self being a stronger force moves you along the path of dissolution into a higher energy essence form, your lower self experiences change/death, and that is why the resistance and in a way, this suffering is inevitable and can be greatly reduced if the deeper metaphysics is fully understood.
The despair/doom/pain/suffering/resistance are all experiences of the part of that is identified with form.
But if the part of you that longs for freedom is too strong, it will lead you into dissolution.
Notice your longings carefully, and you will see that all that is happening is working with perfection according to the actuals of the forces within.

The 2 drives:
Life drive ——–and——– Death drive
Are both resistances from the lower mortal self -> 2 kinds of rebellion.
To try to die faster than it is happening is to direct aggression towards destruction = death drive.
To try to keep/maintain or enhance things when they are not supported by the higher, is to again direct aggression towards enhancement or maintenance of status quo = life drive.
So what it means in truth/essence is that, life = transformation.
It is now. It is the direct vibration of perception itself.
To the mortal self: It feels like:
Construction = heaven —— Destruction = hell.
But to the deeper self, it is the opposite:
Construction of mortal form = limitation = lower energy state of being —— Destruction of the mortal form = Dissolution = Freedom = Higher energy subtler state of being.
Both the perspectives of the mortal self and the deeper self are simultaneously operating.
Feel your inner space, and understand their dynamics within you, and when you fully allow both construction and destruction, you become the allowing itself, and get subsumed into the NOW.
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The game of masks

gameofmasks

The game of masks:
Some people wear an [identity/mask/role/act], enjoy it, and then remove it.
And once alone or in a safe place, they remove the mask and then reflect on the act/mask/identity/role from their Real Self.
Some others NEVER remove the mask of identity/role.
They want to wear it 24×7 and lose themselves into believing they are that.

Someone like a sociopath has a very tough and thick mask, because it has been created from very early in life from “extraordinary levels of shame”.
So accordingly, since structure = power, they exude more confidence, charisma, and power.
And then, they try to play the game of masks with others, lose themselves into their game, and a corollary/extension of that is that “they apply the same principle in terms of what they are interested in when it comes to others”.
Since they themselves are actors and are trying to find the ultimate act to lose themselves into, they are always on the lookout for how to make the mask stronger.
So they look at other people wearing masks, and are attracted to them, and they are always curious about what mask/act to wear.
Because that is their very mission statement “Find the greatest personality/mask/identity/structure/role, that will give the greatest rewards and goodies from everyone.” More importantly they want a mask that is invincible and indestructible -> because all masks are “inherently insecure” and are really dependent upon others and social systems for their mere survival.
So really, they are enslaved to what is allowed/tolerated/celebrated in the matrix because their entire identity/mask/role is really a socially and other-conferred one, and rests on mercurial flimsy ground.

They are living off the alms of others, in the most fundamental sense.
They are aware of this, and that is why there is a heavy investment in manipulation and defenses – so that not only are they never detected, they also do a preemptive offensive attack on anybody who even attempts to disillusion them of their act/role/mask/identity.
They try to secure love and admiration everywhere, shaping themselves into whatever it takes to get the maximum of that, as a permanent antidote to insecurity.
They are constantly on the lookout for conventional positions of power, because then with that stable position, they have much greater security, and people are far more likely to tolerate their whims, tantrums, oppression and so on.
They are also hyper-controlling of everyone around, they frame control everything everywhere, because really THIS is only an extension of the REAL frame control they are constantly doing to themselves in order to constantly make them believe in the mask.

A kind of self-hypnosis, that becomes automated in them to such an extent, it then extends itself into controlling all of their environment and all of their interactions – inevitably coming across as oppressive to others.
To make up for that, they go into episodes of love-bombing, great people-pleasing, gift-giving, inflating their value etc. something to compensate, something such that the pros outweigh the cons, to keep up the idea that it is worth/valuable/great living with them, and that they are great people basically.

Underneath all of that is toxic shame.
A shame so terrible, they would do anything rather than look at that.
Isn’t that the reason anybody would choose to wear a MASK 24×7 and choose to never ever remove it?
Imagine if someone close to you did that one day, wearing a full mask the whole day, what would you ask them? “What is wrong, did you get mumps? some lip infection? some acne? some other skin infection? some scar? some injury?”
Would you not associate this with something along the lines above?
This is the basis for all those who wear masks and never choose to remove it.
The shame behind those is so much, that it turns off self-reflection irrevocably/totally/completely.
Even if someone with that level of toxic shame reads this whole essay, it will still not motivate them to look at the source of his shame.
Rather he might try to use all of this information as TOOLS to manipulate someone else, to strengthen the mask itself, rather than USE THIS TOOL for his OWN reflection.
Such is the power of shame = More often than not, they will choose death over self-reflection.
Is shame worse than physical death? = Is a good question to ponder.
One thing is clear though, the deepest origin of all MASKS (when one chooses to lose themselves completely into it) is SHAME.

From a more abstract level:
The individual is the microcosm, while society is the macrocosm.
An individual suppresses/represses things depending on the severity of shame present.
The same holds true for the larger collective we call society.
Society suppresses/represses things in its own scale and this affects all the individuals too.
There is shame at the level of the collective/society itself.
Look at the criminals in jails, asylums etc.
They all represent what society has rejected.
Certain behaviors/potentials of god are considered acceptable, while certain others are simply not-tolerated/suppressed/shunned/or even attacked.