Tag: Psychology

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Social interaction and Energy tuning

This is a really vast topic.
I’ll try to summarize some salient points.
Social interactions, camaraderie, and group eros, are mostly about energetic tuning. Everyone tunes into a similar energy space/context.
The words and activities then exchanged, are all a play, happening within the common context.

If you can harmonize, tune in, to the other’s/group’s energy signature, then you can say whatever you want, and it will be globally accepted.
On the other hand, if your energy signature does not tune into the other’s/group’s energy, then your very presence itself will feel awkward, even if you choose to say nothing.
So the essence of social interaction is = “energy/context tuning/harmonization”.
It is a certain trance, a certain absorption.

You bridge the distance between: Where you are, and where the other is.
There are different combinations possible:
# You go all the way to them [Codependent]
# They come all the way to you [Narcissist]
# You go all the way to them and then they come all the way to you [My preference].
# Both meet somewhere in the middle [Common dissociation, The general social reality and formal situations fall here].
So essentially all interaction/communion = is about bridging the distance, and closing the gap.

So really, the capacity you have for communion in social interactions depends on your conditioning/investment/interest or desire.
If you are relatively de-conditioned, then you have to make the stretch to meet the conditioned others. Often they cannot come to you. You go to them.
Situational friendships are because both the people are tuned to a common context, which is like the 4th combination in my list.
These friendships fade, when the common context is vacated.
A person permanently in the societal frame, has substantially repressed his individuality, and entirely invested in the middle ground. He enjoys communion at all times, but at the cost of his deeper individuality.
On the other hand, a hermit might happen when his conditioning is such that meeting others is too much of a stretch. So he lives in his own space/authenticity, until the other comes to him.
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Your compliments and criticisms

Every compliment you give,
Is more about you than the other.
It is,
# What you chose to see.
# How much you chose to see.
# How you chose to see.

Conversely, the same would apply,
To the criticisms you give too.
They too indicate,
# What you chose to see.
# How much you chose to see.
# How you chose to see.
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Your internal and external lives are reflections of each other

Balanced internal life = Balanced external life.
Extreme internal life = Extreme external life.
Total internal awareness = Total external awareness
Internal extreme tunneled investments = External extreme tunneled investments.
Internal imbalances => reflected in the external as external imbalances.

Many extreme people view relationship as:
Conflict, Resistance, Strife, War, Violence, Pain.
The problem here is of degree and not of essence.
Like if I take a knife and ever so gently graze your skin, it will feel scintillating.
But if I do it with more force, it will cut the skin, sharply hurt, and leave a bruise.
So the problem in the latter case was simply the intensity.

In a world filled with limitation of various degrees,
If we try to do things with unlimited passion,
Either we will break or the thing will break.
Relationships are a limited possibility.
It has a certain place, a certain potential,
After which it will start to hurt and pain more and more.
This kind of violence can be addictive too,
Because it is controlled by you.
I would think this is a similar reason,
Why people cut themselves.
Because it is a pain that you can control and administer to yourself.
So by fighting with people, even if it hurts, you are controlling it.
And that might give a relief at a different level.
You could similarly, subject yourself to controlled mental pain too,
Say by researching on all sorts of painful topics,
Because then you are in control, you are subjecting yourself to it.

Generally what happens is a full cycle.
The person is maybe highly sensitive,
And was subjected to physical, relational, or mental violence.
Again the violence here is because of degree, and not essence.
Like if a blind person high five’s you on the nose by mistake.
High five is a cool thing, on your hands, but not on your nose.
So, then the person in later life,
In order to regain a sense of control,
May subject himself to the same abuse and recreate those feelings.
The huge difference in the second run of those feelings is that,
He inflicts them upon himself, so that gives him back his sense of control,
And allays the fear, paranoia, and expectation.
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I am interested in extreme experiences

I am interested in extreme experiences,
Internally or externally induced,
Experiences that give me liberation, powers, freedom,
Experiences that release or change the spell I find myself in now,
Experiences that convey and indubitably prove to me,
The emptiness and freedom inherent in the field.
When something is changed,
Freedom from that thing is straightaway proved.
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Writing is my ultimate expression of free will

Writing is my creative freedom,
Writing is how I feel my free will,
Writing is how I express my deepest truth,
Writing brings me great fulfillment and satisfaction,
That is unsurpassed and unparalleled.
Writing is the fruit that comes out of my psyche tree.
Writing frees/releases me from whatever I write,
Making space for new content to emerge,
Like the effulgence of a fountain.
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Investment of being vs. doing

Investment of being = identity investment, i.e. ego itself.
The investment of being ‘somebody’.
When you say – I am a student, doctor, engineer, husband, wife, citizen etc.
Investment of doing = all other smaller investments.
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Inspiration and Energy

Inspiration + Energy = Euphoria
Inspiration – Energy = Regular Tiredness
Energy – Inspiration = Boredom
(- Energy) – Inspiration = Depression
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The feeling of living in a well

I feel like I’ve fallen into a well,
And it is so much effort to shout and reach out to anyone or even anything,
And no one bothers to even peep in,
Nor are they even remotely interested in knowing where I am.

Like I’m ostracized, exiled, banished, outcast.
Like I’m dying, receding, fading, falling off the radar, falling off the map, falling off everything that is known.
Hope is wilting and dying, as I fall further into the well with every passing day.
More and more contact with the outside is relinquished because of the phenomenal effort it takes to maintain it from 200 ft under.
I have to scream at the top of my voice to be faintly heard outside, and the beings outside only hear my words, not me, so I am basically abjectly alone.
Never will be seen, never will be fully heard.
There is the crushing weight of despair, but hope pushes me to reach out with great resistance, only to get a few bread crumbs of outside engagement (obtained with disproportionate effort), and then I fall back into the darkness again.

There seems no way out of this well,
and I only fall deeper and deeper into it,
moving farther and farther away from contact with the land.

My whole life has been this way.
I could never achieve anything more than a superficial fleeting intermittent connection with the world/outside.
I have always lived in a well, in the cave of wonders, in the interior castles, in the dungeons of my subconscious, in the underside of the iceberg of humanity.
Except for occasional short bursts of outer engagement which have exponentially reduced with age.
I am in the unknown, in the mystery, living it everyday,
While every other I see appears to be far far away.
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Depression and Anxiety are 2 sides of the same coin

My depression is of “the pain” of the past.
My anxiety is of “the expected pain” of the future.
They are both like 2 sides of the same coin.

Memory and Imagination work with each other, and go together
Depression is from memory.
Anxiety is from imagination.

Anxiety is from fear.
Depression is from pain.
Pain comes from memory.
Fear comes from imagination.

1. Anxiety is the fear of the possibility of “inevitable pain that will come from the past conditioning the future (that belief is the depression)”.
Anxiety is the fear that “the past is doomed to repeat (that belief is the depression)”.
2. Anxiety is the fear that “the future too will get poisoned by the past (that belief is the depression)”.
3. Anxiety is the fear that “the desires will never get fulfilled (that belief is the depression)”.
Anxiety is the reactivity to depression.
You see how intertwined and connected both of these are!

Now I mentioned 3 primary beliefs creating the weight of depression:
1. The past is doomed to repeat.
2. The future too will get poisoned by the past.
3. My desires will never get fulfilled.
Now, no experience can happen without there being some degree of truth to it.
The 3 points mentioned above are not just beliefs.
They also have some truth in it.
If there were no truth in the above 3 points, depression cannot exist at all.
They are not the whole truth but a good part of the truth.
In the sense:
1. Pain does exist.
2. Conditioning does perpetuate. There is definitely a drag.
3. Unrealistic desires do never actualize.

The truth is both: Pain and Possibility.
So depression happens when only one side of the truth is seen.
When one is submerged in the pain dimension.
It is a dissociation from possibility.
Similarly, overly unrealistically magical positive people may see only one side of the truth.
They dissociate from pain, and see possibilities that are all ungrounded.

Overly positive people (unrealistic positivity) live like ungrounded dissociated ghosts = live in strong rajas
Overly depressed people are inert like rocks = like in strong tamas
When rajas runs out, it falls into tamas.

There are so many interconnections.
Often a depressed person has at one time been overly positive magical and ambitious.
Since he has dissociated from the pain dimension, the pain part keeps building up, and finally breaks the threshold and forces its way into his awareness as pain.
Now the strength of his depression depends on how separated he was from his pain, and how far high up in the sky he flew.
Greater the height of flight, greater is the fall, and more painful is the fall, i.e. when gravity catches up and hurls him to the ground.
This impact may shatter the bird, and damage the power of possibility for that person.
This personal power then gets critically injured.

This extreme positivity, flight of fancy, wild imagination AND pain/depression are highly connected.
Greater the ignoring of the ground and gravity, harder is the fall.
Often the very depressed person, when given a drug that dissociates from pain (any pain killer aka. endorphin, opiate action), will cause him to fly away as high as he possibly can.
It is reactive.
But then the drug wears off, and once again there is a hard fall to the ground and its gravity pulling you back.
This then causes the cycle of addiction, and the cycle of pendulum like oscillation between the extremes.
Each extreme potentiates the other.
When crippled on the ground, the desire to fly is so intense.
When in the highest of flights, the fear of the ground is so great.

So there is a internal war,
A split in the psyche.
Between what is called “hard/sober reality” vs. “wild/flight/imagination”.
Until the person reconciles these 2 dualities,
The depression-elation alternation keeps playing out intensely.

Another paradox of depression is that,
Depressed people are often hyper ambitious with crazy and extreme ideals.
Depression is ultimately relative.
Only if you have a very strong desire for reality to be other than what it is, can you even be depressed at all.
Depression is from identification with the part of the psyche that wants to flee from itself.
This is often due to shame of being oneself (programmed in early childhood).
So it feels encumbered, burdened, and constantly weighed down and restricted by the part that is manifest.

Another clarification is needed.
When I speak about pain and possibility, pain is related to non-acceptance.
When fully accepted and owned, pain ceases to be pain.
Pain is pain only because of resistance.
So when pain is accepted, that is the end of pain.
Because the person hates themselves, their self causes pain.
If they completely own and accept themselves, there would be no pain.
So this again shows how interconnected and relative these terms are.

In the duality between: samsara —-and—– nirvana (note the smaller case alphabet),
Depression is from an attachment to the nirvanic side of life.
So the craving for nirvana, makes samsara depressing.
But real “NIRVANA” transcends both.
As long as you are attached to any one polarity, the other pole will keep restraining you, creating a constant tug of war in the psyche.
And it is also ignorance of the truth that the 2 poles go together, and one cannot be had without the other.
If you try to attach to samsara, an uneasy longing to break free will distress you.
If you try to attach to nirvana, then the pain of ‘samsara/cyclic existence’ will keep dragging you down.