Tag: Philosophy

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Transition from child to woman to man

manwomanchild

The symbology I attribute to child, woman, and man is as follows:
Child = Spirit
Woman = Heart
Man = Strength, Character, Action, Definition.

My hypothesis here is that (also based on my own experience):
We start off as spirit (infant/child)
Then our relationship with the mother (woman) forms our heart.
This also determines whether we will have a good heart or a dark heart, a closed heart or an open heart.
Thereafter once this process is complete, we go on to become the man via. the father and embrace the larger world/community.

So, every man is a woman (symbolically speaking, the way I described it above).
He grows into a man from the bed of the heart of a woman.
Similarly the woman then grows into being a man, which is like the plant emerging tall from the soil (symbol of phallus/obelisk).
That is why, if a child splits off the relationship/love with his mother, the results are disastrous.
He may try to kill himself – because of seeing himself as the creation of the mother, and the idea of “If the creator herself has rejected it, then I must reject it too”.
The child here is barred from loving anything, and is imprisoned in the dark night of soul, the dragon of chaos, because he/she needs love to emerge into form.
Whereas when the child splits off from the father alone, he may be filled with love, but have no direction of how to be or what to do in the world.

There are many other interesting branches opened up in this intuition.
For instance, if the woman hates/rejects the outer world in general, then that prohibits the child too from loving the world.
Because the osmotic transmission from the mother is that – “The world is terrible, you are better off hiding from it”
That imprint stays, and bars the child from bringing the world into his consciousness.
If the mother hates her body, then that imprint too gets across to the child as programming.
These programs get projected outward and the whole world and all the other physical people simply act as props for the manifestation of this deep metaphysical programming that has occurred.

We believe everyone lives in the same world? Really? Think again.
Each one of us lives in the unique artistry and tapestry of this programming and we literally live in different worlds entirely.
We understand each other from a deep connection to a shared being.
Somewhere the entirety of the collective human heart/mind is present within us, and we understand others to the extent to which we ourselves are connected to this.
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Prayer of a weary soul

prayer

[I] hand over my really tired, weak, and weary desireless exhausted [self] over to thee
There [is] an incredible amount of emptiness in [me]
[I’m] barely conscious
Like [I] have been fully knocked out
There [is] not much left in [me] to put up a fight or resist.
[I] can barely stand on my own feet, let alone walk
What [is] this deathly condition?
[I] feel heavy, encumbered, overwhelmed, paralyzed, burdened, weary and can barely keep my head up
[A] severe deficiency of will power/desire/energy
The viruses or entropic agents within are getting the better of me, and [I] have exhausted [my] fight now
[I] can no longer ward off this inevitable destruction
So [I] stop resisting and surrender to death or total transformation
Which [is] what [I] avoided, most of [my] life
Why resist [the] inevitable? This has always been waiting for me anyway
So [I] give myself fully into [the] fire and chaos of transformation
[I] am actually dying into [the] fire of life
[My] avoidance of death [is] the avoidance of life
Because to give [oneself] into the fire, is to give in to 100% change or the ‘life process’ itself
[I] am fulfilling “Thy shall be done”
[I] have no belief anymore regarding what is on the other side
Because to have belief [is] to not give in sincerely
[I] am willingly entering the chaos of profound unknowing
Paradoxically entering this space [is] giving me profound knowings
How can [this] ever make logical sense?
How can [the] substrate underneath every possible contradiction make sense?
[I] previously lived in the digital world whereas now [I] am collapsing into the analog world
[The] analog world of the felt presence of direct indescribable experience
[I] know not where [I] am going, [I] have no map
[I] realize true life is the full entry into mystery and this is also a full entry into dying each moment
Each time [I] fully refresh and re-cognize, [I] create vacuum for the unimaginable to enter
This pulse of life [I] feel [is] similar to the pulse of breath [1/0]
[I] take a breath in fully leaving no gaps -> [I] Experience/Feel it fully -> [I] release it fully leaving a total vacuum
The more [I] give in to the fire, [I] see [I] am none of what I believed [I] was
[I] am a witness of this flow and all is changing
[I] drop into the [Abyss] and lose my [self]
[I] see nothing of true value is ever lost
The [self] BEHOLDS everything, but holds nothing
Like a mirror, Like water and its reflections
Every loss [is] gain
A trading of [the] finite for the infinite
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My Longing

longing

I feel a longing in direct experience, but it is hard to describe it.
Here is my attempt to come close to describing it:
Longing for God
Longing for Rest
Longing to Relax
Longing for Disappearance
Longing for Deep Sleep
Longing for Ecstasy
Longing for the Infinite
Longing for Release
Longing for Liberation
Longing for Wholeness
Longing for Integration
Longing for Silence
Longing to be released from the Body
Longing to be released from Identity
Longing to know ‘What I Am’
Longing for Flow
Longing for Death
Longing for Peace
Longing for Love
Longing for Understanding
Longing for Purpose
Longing for Revelation
Longing for Freedom
Longing for Bliss/Pleasure
Longing for Clarity
Longing for Mystery
Longing for the Beyond
Longing for Surrender
Longing for Truth
Longing for Light
Longing for Inspiration
Longing for Connection
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Deeper aspects about BDSM

bdsm

Spectrum: Polarization:
Delicate target -to- outside violent strong sadist ——— Strong violent sadist -to- outside vulnerable soft target
Submissive(2C), Controlled(3C) ———- Dominator(2C), Controller(3C)
Note: C = chakra
BDSM is a higher polarized version of regular domination and control facets, and it falls on the ends of the bell curve.
The dynamic is between the poles: [dominator – submissive], [controller, controlled].
But take it to the extreme and you get harcore BDSM.
And since this is a spectrum, there are mild, medium, high forms of it too before the extreme end.

The sadist denies his vulnerability while the masochist denies his strength.
So the 2 look for each other, to stabilize and balance their consciousness.

This game can be played until it is interesting.
The way to come out of it is to acknowledge your denied side.
For the dominator to accept his vulnerability.
For the submissive to accept his power.
The shadow of the submissive is the dominant.
The shadow of the dominant is the submissive.
You are seeing your own “projected repressed qualities” in the others you attract, and thereby completing the denied consciousness via consciousness of the attracted other who is lived through vicariously.

Submissive, controlled:
The image of self is cathected to a tender, vulnerable, soft target -> and the other is seen as the violent predator looking to attack and destroy you.
Dominant, controller:
The self is cathected to being strong, powerful, invulnerable -> and the other is seen as a weak vulnerable creature to be attacked.
Spectrums:
The submissive is trying to kill of his power ———————– The dominant is trying to kill off his vulnerability
Attachment to helplessness/powerlessness ———————– Attachment to total power and agency

To be in-between is painful.
So the tendency is mostly to polarize to any one end.
And since addiction works on denial primarily, each is addicted to the other.
So those denied aspects prevent wholeness and set up desires which can get overpowering, because ultimately they are a desire to bring the repressed part into consciousness via. the other.
So the more your deny yourself a pole, the more extreme the desire gets to obtain that pole through the other in consciousness.
The beauty is, both recognize each other.
The dominator lives the vulnerability vicariously through the submissive he/she attacks.
The submissive lives the dominator role vicariously by receiving his/her power.

Society and conventional relationships too function on some degree of polarization.
In the typical societal dynamic -> girl = submissive, guy = dominant.
This is acceptable and the norm. If the guy or girl is extremely dominant or submissive respectively, then one moves further from the norm but is still somewhat accepted.
However, to be a dominant girl or a submissive guy falls out-of-sync with the polarization of conventional/typical society.
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True intelligence is like eye-sight

mindeye

When you see with your eyes, do your eyes hold on to any image?
If they did, you would have an unchanging ghost image in your field of vision.
Imagine if the refresh rate of your eyes was slowed down.
Would not the images drag in your field and leave trails as you moved?
The field of vision therefore needs to continuously refresh at a high rate (higher the better), and it must completely update at each refresh (leaving no ghost images behind after each refresh).
This is what you would call ‘clear seeing’, isn’t it?

True intelligence is something similar.
The principles that I outlined above for ‘clear vision’ are the same for ‘pure/clear/true intelligence/mind’
Zero holding on coupled with super high refresh rate.
…Re-cognize -> Re-cognize -> Re-cognize -> Re-cognize…
Note: The hyphen between ‘Re’ and ‘cognize’ is intentional.
When this happens, the experience is of ‘joy’.
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Madness and Belief

cloudshadow

Madness is basically the breach of integrity between the lower reality and the higher, and initiated by the lower.
For example: To believe in separation (the core madness).
Because that belief is out of integrity with the higher reality and therefore veils the higher truth.
Another example: Belief that there is nothing higher than mind blocks all of the higher reality beyond it.
So each belief is a veil.

Belief is madness, and madness is relative.
Every breach between the lower and higher reality is madness.
The worst prison is a closed heart.
It closes itself off to all of the higher reality/field and veils it.

Infinite/Unlimited [A] —-[B]—–[C]—–[D]—–[E] Finite/Limited
B is mad wrt. A
C is mad wrt. B
And so on.
Because B is only one of the possibilities of A, while A is far more expansive.
B looks like a narrow reality tunnel to A.
I could also refer to this as a recursive tunneling of contexts.
Infinite/Unlimited [Universe]——[Galaxy]—–[Solar system]——[Planet]—–[Island] Finite/Limited
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The art of seduction

sexy-woman-diffuse-abstract

The art of seduction is to build the potential energy of attraction.
You make the prospect of intimate pleasure as alluring as you can, but you give only enough that it keeps the interest building.
If you give too much the interest goes down.
If you give too little, the interest is lost.
So you keep giving reinforcements just enough to keep the interest.
At the same time, you keep demonstrating your desirability via. status, power, style, domination, worthiness etc.
And then when you finally give it to them, there is a large discharge of potential energy towards you manifesting as them wanting you so bad.
It is physically evident how much the other wants you.
And then you again leave an optimal gap and give cues now and then.
The thing about seduction is that, its all about what’s behind the translucent curtain.
You veil the desired object just enough that your imagination fills up the gap with fascinating allure.
If you reveal too much – the mystery is over, and the literal is there.
If you reveal too little – there is not enough interest to pursue.
Also,if too little is revealed the hope of attainability may be lost and it might be abandoned as involving too much effort.

In seduction, there is a play between:
seducer -> seduced.
The seducer plays the game of touch me/touch me not.
The seduced waits and longs for the seducer to give in and release the withholding.
This seduction applies not only in the sexual area but it could apply to any area where there is a need.
A need for validation, attention, affection, care, nurture, support, entertainment, love, understanding.
So all seduction involves perceiving WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS DEEPLY.
Deeper their need, and greater your ability to meet it fully, greater is the potential ability to play seduction.
Because you essentially have a reward with you – which is I would say similar to 2 drags of high quality coke.
So then using this reward one plays the game of alternating between the poles of withholding and giving.
This can be incredibly addictive to both parties, the seducer who is in power and the seduced who is addicted to this.
Take this too far and make it too unfair and remove all other sources of fulfillment of that need, and we would call it enslavement.
When in balance, it is very interesting, engaging, and addicting.
Any human need can be used for seduction.
And ultimately seduction is used by the seducer for ‘power and control’.
It is a game like any other game (computer game etc.)
Mysterious enough to want to uncover unravel demystify pursue —-AND—–
revealing enough to hold tangible promise and hope —–AND—- attainable enough by clear positive feedback as one progresses towards the goal.
So the majority of seduction is a game of illusions and imagination.
The allure is in the imagination only.
The seducer plays on your own imagination by giving the right cues, reinforcement, and concealment/mystery, using the principle of how any good game is made.
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Will good really triumph over evil?

Ying Yang Fish

Is this a naive conception? Fairy tale concept?
OR is there any real deep basis to this?
Will creation really win over destruction?
Will white really win over black?
Will light win over darkness?
Will consciousness really win over unconsciousness?
Will evolution really win over devolution?
Will progress really win over regress?
Will good really win over evil?
Will knowledge really win over ignorance?
Will enlightenment really win over delusion?
Will order really win over chaos?
Will truth win over the false?
Will virtue win over vice?
Will heaven win over hell?
Will pleasure win over pain?

If the ultimate reality/god/logos etc. is everything, then,
How can we equate god to only the: good/white/light/consciousness/evolution/progress
/good/knowledge/enlightenment/order/truth/virtue/heaven/pleasure?
Isn’t god also: evil/black/dark/unconscious/devolution/regress
/bad/ignorant/deluded/chaos/false/vice/hell/pain?

Many would acknowledge the dark aspect of god, but somehow they would have a reservation about it that god is more light than dark somehow.
Why should this be the case?
There is an equally infinity on both sides isn’t it:
-ve infinity ———-0————–+ve infinity
Why should the positive portion be any more real than the negative component?

Look at the Yin-Yang symbol itself:
Destructive forces everywhere can reduce creative forces to a seed potential.
Similarly, creative forces everywhere can reduce destructive forces to a seed potential.
The seed potential is the black eye in the white fish and the white eye in the black fish of the Yin-Yang symbol.
The opposite potential never gets extinguished and the drama is free to make that arise however intensely it deems it so.

The more I think about it:
God is “NOTHING”.
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True persona vs. False persona

true-false

There are various equivalent spectrums:
High spirit power —————– Low spirit power
God attuned Ego/Self ———– Distant tuned Ego/Self
Vitality —————————— Depression
Coherence/Effortless harmony ———– Chaotic/Efforted harmony
Seratonin, Dopamine abundance ———- Seratonin Dopamine scarcity
Sun ———————— Moon
Truth ———————- Falsity
Giver ———————- Taker
Source ——————– Parasite
Home ——————— Exile
Abundance ————– Scarcity

The false persona needs borrowed energy to live OR it must live super frugally.
The god attuned persona on the other hand does not need energy from anybody else or anything, it has an infinite source of power within itself.
The false persona suffers when the true persona has not been cut off.
The constant conflict between the false person and the true persona manifests as disharmony and suffering.
Like 2 radio frequencies interfering with each other creating a lot of noise (which is suffering in this context).
When the false persona entirely cuts off the true persona, it lives without suffering and in full disconnection from abundance.
So such a persona lives purely opportunistically.
Since all connection is derived from connection to the true self, so a total severing of that connection is also a total severing of love.
So then the false persona works as an independent agent solely caring about its advantage and using the world as much as it can for its benefit.
Whereas the person who still has connection to his true self experiences a divide between:
Abundance/True self ———————————- Scarcity/False self
Service to other —————————————- Service to self
There are various degrees of polarization along this line.
People may fluctuate and move along this line experiencing suffering THROUGHOUT from the conflicting values of the 2 sides.
After all, Conflict = Suffering.
No Conflict = No suffering.
If you polarize to any one end, you would not suffer.
However when you are in the middle, there is a choice.
What will you choose?
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The game of life is rigged

chess

The game of life is rigged.
It is impossible to win.
As Alan Watts would say, “White will never really win over Black”.
Pleasure will never win over pain.
The opposites go together and it is impossible to have 1 and not the other.
One cannot take respite and consolation in hell, because heaven exists.
One cannot take respite and consolation in heaven, because hell exists.
No matter how much you walk to the East, the West still exists behind you.
No matter how much you walk to the North, the South still exists behind you.