The source of joy

The source of your joy is within yourself.
It can just be brought forth, if you feel you have permission/allowance from others and yourself(internalization of caregiver projected approved images), to be that way.
If you cannot allow yourself or give yourself permission to be like those who are joyful, then you choose between 2 possible responses:
# To resent, hate them, and bring them down
# To get inspired, be drawn to them, and uplift yourself.
In both cases, there is a relationship, between you and the other, be it positive relationship or negative relationship.
The way to transcend needing this relationship at all, is to find out what prevents you from being like them, and investigate that fully.
Those others who are a certain way, which you will not give yourself permission to be, ARE your own disowned potentials.
So then, naturally you will have a positive or negative relationship with your disowned potentials.
You cannot recognize someone unless you can perceive the potential they represent.
All recognition is that.
Look at all the people you hate.
Are they not essentially representing potentials that you will not allow in yourself?

Fundamentals of existence: Form maintenance

FUNDAMENTAL OR BASIC CYCLIC BURDENS OF EXISTENCE:
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ELEMENTS:
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EARTH: Food -> Poo
WATER:
# Water -> Pee
# Sexual desire -> Release
AIR: Breathing In -> Breathing out
FIRE:
# Activity/Expression(physical(1c), sexual(2c), verbalizing(3c/5c), perception(4c/6c)) -> Rest/Sleep
# Mental learning -> Dreams; Novelty -> Rest
# Temperature: Hot (Fan) -> Cold (Jacket/Blanket)
OTHERS:
***************
HEALTH: Health -> Sickness (not a cycle really but it appears to alternate)
OTHER NEEDS: Clothing, Territory/Shelter
BODY MAINTENANCE:
# Toe Nails, Finger Nails, Head Hair, Beard(if male)
# Earth wash, Water wash, Wind wash, Fire wash.
RELATIONSHIP:
# At least one relationship to tune into (to harmonize the system).
# Relationship Alone time

This is the minimum it takes (acc. to me) to live, in this realm, in this form.
These are the basic requirements of this VR world which one cannot exit out of until its [time is over] or [transcended and mastered].

The cycles frequency(freq) and amplitude(amp) can be heightened or shortened:
# EARTH: If you eat more, you’ll poo more
# WATER:
If you drink more, you’ll pee more
If you indulge more in sexual desire projection and release more often, then it increases freq.
# AIR: If you breathe in more, you’ll breathe out more
# FIRE:
If you engage in more activity, then greater the rest period;
More the temperature variations, more the stimulation of metabolism.
Freq of Wash: Earth wash, Water wash (bath), Wind wash (standing in wind, fan), Fire wash
Freq of Hair and nail maintenance: Head hair, toe nails, finger nails, shaving.
Freq and amp(intensity) of: Relationship vs Alone time.
Freq and amp(intensity) of:
# Travel/Novelty vs. Home/Familiarity
# Learning/Exploring vs. Assimilation/Integration.

More about me

I’m like an RPG character with very low health
So I keep dying zillions of times
But my superpower is infinite regeneration
I can keep coming back again and again

Sometimes I wonder, if all this is really real?
Or are all my experiences part of some dream in the afterlife, and if I am already dead?

People have ‘meaning crisis’ at rare times and it quickly passes away too.
For me it is the other way.
I always live in a perpetual meaning crisis.
For short bursts I have meaning.
In those times, I get ordered and happily pursue the goals that appear.
Then I fall back into nothing, and another spawn happens later.

That is where my endless creativity comes from,
From dying over and over again.
It is like living 1000’s of lives and characters rolled into a single one.
Living in a constant mystery day to day,
Like an endless fountain rising and falling.

Your experience is a mirror

You see what you want to see.
You see through the windows of your own expectations.
Even an unenlightened person can enlighten a sincere seeker.
Alternatively, a negative person may not benefit at all even from an enlightened person.
You attract what you are.
Your world view, ideas about everything, about others, are a reflection of the lens through which you are seeing.
A wise man can get wisdom even from a fool.
The fool can never get wisdom even if the wisest words are said to him.
Look for beauty, profoundness, and the sublime, and you will see it.
Open your heart to what you desire, you will see that manifested.
The outer world is only the reflection/projection of your inner world.
Seek, and you shall find and attain.

All true power is from within, from the invisible.
Become the diamond mind/diamond heart.
Receive the light and dazzle with the reflections.
Outer success without inner connection is meaningless.
The love of others will mean nothing, if you are not aligned to your own power.
Work on the roots, work on connecting to the earth,
And the flowers will come by themselves, the tree will bloom.
Connect yourself to the source and be an avatar/conduit of its power.
Become enlightened and freed with the power of the source.
Healing really is alignment, i.e. to keep what is real, to drop what is unreal.
Go into the transformation, let go into the fire of higher intelligence,
“Thou shall be done.”

Love and Positive Vision are the same thing

To really see something is to see the “source inspiration and beauty” behind that which is seen.
It is to see its place in a larger context, in a larger framework of meaning.
Otherwise, it is only surface/superficial seeing.
Seeing/Vision is a lot more about context than the content of the sensory-appearance of what is seen.
The following concepts are closely related to each other = the concept of seeing/vision, value, and beauty.
When you see something from love, you see the creation as the creator would see it.
There is no upper ceiling to perceiving source inspiration/love/positive vision/value/beauty.
The deeper your positive seeing, the more your capacity for the above qualities.

Please refer to my earlier blog post to learn about what I mean by positive vs. negative vision:

The concept of negative vision



The connection between IDENTIFICATION and LOVE:
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This is an extremely deep topic, but I’ll try to give a few pointer examples.
* For example, say, you look at your personal laptop that has all your life’s work = personal photos, videos, files, documents, music, playlists etc.
All that gamut of context is tied into your seeing of the laptop.
So seeing = both context and content.
Its not possible to quantify, but to give an idea, the content is just 1% or less while 99% or more is context.
The sensory impression is only a pointer to the tree of knowledge that resides in the mind.

Let’s say, you have a dog, and that dog too sees your laptop.
How would he see it? The 99% of context, memories, attachment, associations, information you connect with the laptop would not be present for the dog.
So he would see it as just “content” mostly.
* It is like looking at a stranger’s smartphone of an unknown make/model (so very little associative connections as such).
Imagine how different would that be from seeing your own smartphone.
* Imagine the difference between looking at your children vs. looking at a random person’s children.

When an artist creates a work from source inspiration, he is seeing from positive vision.
He sees the value/worth/significance/importance/beauty of his work, because it came forth from his channeling of source inspiration itself.
If he puts it up in an exhibition, and if various art critics come and start critiquing it, then the critics are seeing from negative vision here.
They are not seeing it the way the artist sees his own work which is from positive vision.
Both positive and negative vision are kinds of vision.
The distinction is that, positive vision connects what is seen to the source of creation (which is the potential/love/inspiration), while negative vision does not do that.
Negative vision does not see what the art piece is, rather it sees what it is not by comparing it to something else that is loved.
That is the fundamental difference.
Positive vision is to see from the point of view of the creator.

The different chakric realms

7c = Realm of Nirvana
****************
6c = Realm of Enlightenment
5c = Realm of Jnana/Wisdom
4c = Realm of Devotion
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3c = Realm of Identity (inc. identity of being human)
2c = Realm of Relationship with Identities
1c = Realm of Physical Manifestation

Think of it as an upside down tree.
The ground is 7c.
The roots are 6c, 5c, 4c => in that order
The tree above the ground is 3c, 2c, 1c => in that order.

Yin and Yang of life and about myself

In the initial phase of our lives, we are totally yin (like sponge).
In the later phase of our lives, we become yang.
That is the transition.
That is the cycle:
# Absorption -> Emission.
# From taking -> to giving.
# We prepare to join society in the initial part of our lives. -> And then join society and yang in the next part of our life.
That is how society views us anyways from its perspective.
That is why it is set that:
# 0-25 = Education
# 25-60 = Work
[My body’s survival/thriving depends on all the physical forces.
My mental survival/thriving depends on all the mental forces.]

But what I have learned is beyond society -> And what I want to give is beyond society.
I work on enriching, illuminating, and healing souls.
About myself:
# During my yin = I have seen far more.
# And now in my yang = I want to give back far more than society can see.
I have always had ethereal vision -> and now I have the capacity for ethereal action.
My home element is “ETHER” = the world of imagination/magic/states of consciousness/vibes/music/feels.
The 5c circuit(from 8 circuit model of consciousness – Timothy Leary) was my starting and home.

My identity has always stayed transcendent of the 1st 4 circuits:
# Instinctive
# Dom-sub/pleasure-pain
# Mental(reality tunnels)
# Socio-sexual circuit
For me, my Yang was greatly suppressed in my interaction with society/world.
That is why I live like a hermit.
Because really I am a transformer.
And society is not exactly at a Renaissance to welcome me in -> It has from day 1 opposed me.
This is my deep breath(in and out) in this plane of existence on earth.
# A deep inbreath in the first part of my life until 31 (0-30 = 30 years)
# A full outbreath in the second part of my life until maybe my death at 80 (30-80 = 50 years)

The true situation I feel I am in is like:
# Life of a pi – Boy vs wild animals
# Country of the blind – Man with eyes vs. blind village
# Jungle book kind of situation – Mogli with the forest animals.
# I am legend – A single man surrounded by million zombies everywhere.
# Planet of the apes – The apes civilization dominating and marginalizing everyone else.
# Like members outside the Matrix – Morpheus, neo, trinity, and other crew members.
# Like Elsa in Frozen – Living in the ice palace far away.
These analogies are a bit exaggerated, but they help to convey the way I have always felt.

(c = chakra)
# My true identity = 7c = the potential/unmanifest field.
# My Yin = 6c perception = mother
# My Yang = 5c writing/speaking/sharing = father
I live in the supernal triad of the soul = I have always lived with great contact with soul consciousness.
The dark night of the soul is: Really my true identity in 7c bringing me back home to itself from being lost in the 6c imagination.

Whatever I present to society, must be on its terms, else its members will not take it, and may even attack/marginalize me.
I have no duty or anything towards society, that is all a lie told from society’s perspective which pulls all people by its strong gravity of guilt/responsibility etc. -> it is all lies.
The greatest gift I have to offer is my own vision, integration, and natural unfolding.
I will be a celebration of my own nature, and if society wants a part of it, I will joyfully share it.
Else I will happily live in a hermetic way till the end of my life.

Our body is of the earth and belongs to the earth

The body has various cycles:
Input cycles:
# Hunger cycles = EARTH ELEMENT
# Thirst cycles = WATER ELEMENT
# Sleep cycles = ETHER ELEMENT
# [Sights, Sounds] consumption cycles = FIRE ELEMENT
# In-breath cycling = AIR ELEMENT
Output cycles:
# Poop cycles = EARTH ELEMENT
# Urine, Sexual cycles = WATER ELEMENT
# Exercise/Activity cycles = FIRE ELEMENT
# Out-breath cycling = AIR ELEMENT
# Waking state awareness cycles = ETHER ELEMENT
The elements part may not be exact, but I used my intuitive feel to arrive at them.

The body belongs to the earth, and is made up of the earth.
It is an organic machine, built from the elements of the earth, and on death, this entire body machine will be returned to the earth (which will cycle the elements back into itself).
The body emerges from the earth, gathers earth elements onto itself and grows, maintains and renews itself periodically from various elemental transactions with the earth, and then once its time is over, the earth reabsorbs the body back into itself.
The mothers womb provides the initial body as a template, that then separates from the mother, gathers on the elements (what we call growth), and then stabilizes itself in transaction with the elements of the earth.
“On death, the earth will take back the body, atom by atom” – Sadhguru
I have heard Sadhguru(Jaggi Vasudev) on Youtube speak about this topic many times, but only now I feel like I understand it more deeply.

So from the body’s perspective:
It cares about: food, water, sleep, sex, breathing, preservation.
Each of these activities give pleasure, but only as per the cycles.
The pleasure from the body is limited to the cycles only.
When you are hungry you can only eat until the hunger is satisfied, only till then will you get pleasure.
The same holds true for thirst, sex, and even the breath.
Breathing in is pleasure until you get full, breathing out is pleasure until you get empty.
Since all of the elemental transactions are in a cycle, neither can you preserve, nor can you indulge.
It is like your breath.
You can’t endlessly breathe in, neither can you endlessly breathe out.

In terms of source energy, the highest tangible conception of that for us, is the “Sun”.
But we can use only a fraction of that energy directly, and we need all its other stored forms available on earth to survive/thrive.
Sun -> Plants
Sun -> Plants -> Animals
Water -> stores the heat energy of the sun (else without the sun it would turn into ice).
And then we further cook the plant/animal material in fire, and then we have “energy and elements” in a form that we can easily consume.
The earth itself maintains its temperature from the sun.
The core of the earth is almost like a micro sun.
Human bodies are like the most developed neurons(brain nerve cells) of the earth.

Also with only one half of the earth facing the sun at any given point of time, and with the earth constantly rotating, it is always cycling through duality.
Though the sun(source) is ever present, ever radiant, it is eclipsed from influence and view during the night.
So I would think that is why, in the microcosm of our bodies too, we have the sleep and waking cycles which is a correlate to this macrocosmic duality.

Clarity and Complexity

I had a dream in the afternoon where I just felt so sure/assured/totally confident about one small thing.
And this kept on playing again and again in my mind like a loop, and then I woke up.
So this sent me back to the drawing board to contemplate on the nature of life/reality/god/self.

I wanted to structure what happened to me in a larger context/perspective.
I do this all the time, start from scratch and create a new fabric of meaning.
It is a kind of primordial creativity, that I really enjoy giving expression.
So here is my articulation of my thought process.

In the dream there was an immense feeling of certainty for an extremely narrow idea, and it kept on repeating until I woke up.
I think, this is a case of: “clarity + simplicity”
Whereas, for phenomena like mystical experiences of profound certitude, it would be a case of: “clarity + complexity”
Both of the above can also be seen as:
Simple order/harmony/integration —–vs—- Complex order/harmony/integration
An old Nokia 3100 phone (from the early 2000s) —-vs—- An IPhone XS today
Both the devices can work great, be fully functional, and integrated in their design. But what a difference there is, in their complexity!
So this would be a good analogy for: my looping simplistic certitude dream vs. a revelation of profound implications felt in the waking state.

Control and Freedom are opposites

Control and Freedom are the opposites of each other.
The spectrum:
Control (holding on to control & having the need to control) ————- Freedom (letting go of control & not having the need to control)
To let something free is to relinquish control over it.
You let it return to its “natural” state, without your interference/intervention/action/effort.

Every controlled action cannot be sustained indefinitely.
Consequently, when it is dropped, the result swings to its opposite.
All opposites inevitably swing between each other:
# Extreme pursuit/seeking ——-vs——- Extreme retreat
# Extreme outgoingness ——vs——- Extreme withdrawal
# Extreme activity ——-vs——– Extreme tiredness
Like a spring:
# If you pull the ends of the spring, it contracts when you release it.
# If you shrink the ends of the spring, it expands when you release it.
Essentially:
# Extreme Rajas (activity) ——vs—— Extreme tamas (inertia)
Activity and Inertia follow each other.
The “middle or 0 point” of these poles is not a location or a quantity but a DOORWAY.
Now, I must speak more about what I mean by “middle or 0 point” here.
The “middle or 0 point” is not in the same “plane” or “number line” as the 2 poles are in.
0 or the middle is not a quantitative thing here, rather it is representative of the doorway/portal/wormhole to the next dimension itself.
Passing through this doorway = transcends both the poles and opens you up to the higher dimension.
A more 3d analogy of this would be a whirlpool.
The dualities spiral around each other and lead into the doorway/wormhole that acts as a portal to the next dimension.
This permeation/dissolving of you into the higher dimension by the relinquishing of control/effort (which happens naturally in time once you experience and acquire true understanding) is true freedom.

That is why controlling any one aspect of life will never lead to transcendence but rather it will only lead to a swing in the opposite direction when your will power runs out.
You can allow this process to happen fast by moving with the intensity of a hare and lose will power much faster, or you can walk like a tortoise and exhaust your will-power supply after an eon.
Once that happens, your state will swing to its opposite pole, and the attainment will be lost until the next cycle begins.
Just like how, if you work very hard one day, you will feel very sleepy that night and fall into oblivion for a while.

When control is relinquished, things return to their higher harmonic state.
This is because when you step away, all the winds and tides within existence move you into a path, that is very different from what you thought.
Your karmic equation changes, and you become karma-less in this plane of existence.
And the paradox here is that, you cannot relinquish control by controlling.
It happens as a consequence of true understanding/gnosis/contemplation/inquiry/insight/assimilation/digestion.