I feel like ‘Reason’ is often used as a crutch for acceptance.
Is it possible to accept directly without it?
Without having a reason? Without making a reason?
I sometimes feel like the need to know/understand/reason is also a crutch.
We use all of that to make the acceptance more bearable.
The knowledge from drugs
The ‘knowledge’ obtained from drugs does not come from the drugs, but comes from you.
Drugs are similar to books in that way.
The book is not the knowledge,
It is food for your mind, only if you are capable of digesting-absorbing-assimilating it.
Happiness is an elusive paradox
Happiness is like sleep.
I cannot study it,
Because when I am in it,
I am not there.
What is the real saviour?
It is not ignorance that saves you,
Nor is it knowledge that saves you.
Rather, it is ‘knowledge of ignorance’ that is the real saviour.
Some insights on change and free will
Generally, when we think of change,
We think of it in objective/external terms,
Like day-night cycles, season cycles, the rusting of iron, and so on.
So in this context,
We can study these changes, and make prediction models.
Here the subject stays as a relatively stable witness to the changing objects outside.
Changes of this kind are actually fairly superficial in our experience.
The subject is relatively unchanging while the object is changing a lot more.
Like when some people go on a vacation,
They are mostly the same people in different outer situations.
They mostly feel and act the same.
But there is another kind of change,
That is not objective, but subjective,
That is not outside, but inside.
Here, since the very subject changes,
This kind of change is unpredictable and profound,
It feels more like magic.
This kind of change is like when a person takes a medium dose of LSD.
There is a dramatic internal change that changes everything in their experience.
Childhood also is like that,
Where we go through dramatic shifts in our very view of reality itself with every passing year.
I am using the words objective and subjective in a more loose and colloquial sense here.
If I look at it deeper, all objectivity too would collapse into the subjective,
Where only the “Subjective” would exist.
Similarly I could also argue, that every subjective experience could theoretically be determined by objective factors that we still do not yet have the necessary subtle-enough instruments to define, study, and alter.
Objectivity = 3rd person perspective (3rd pp)
Subjectivity = 1st person perspective (1st pp)
All 3rd pp could be said to be subsumed into 1st pp.
I tend to look at all change as change in your state of consciousness (SoC).
Birth and Death are times of great change in consciousness.
Could equate it to sunrise and sunset?
While our Lifetime is more linear and less dramatic?
Could equate lifetime to day-time and after-death to night-time?
After death could be some unfathomable mystery though.
I think what is generally called free-will is the situation where:
We have a relatively unchanging subject in a changing outer world.
So then the subject is able to exert his/her steady will on the changing outer world and build things.
There is much less free will when we are undergoing any transformations of subject.
Here the subject changes relatively much faster than the outer world rhythms.
Transformation times are like kayaking in rapids.
The free will then has to be mostly used in service of the transforming force,
In navigating the rapid change,
So as to keep maintaining order and balance through the changes.
The 2 variables of environment and control
There are 2 variables: Environment, Control
This could apply to the external (outer-circumstances) or internal (identity) domain.
From the most pleasant to the most unpleasant, I can think of 4 levels:
1. You could have an environment so good, that is not only already pleasant, but more and more pleasantness keeps outpouring/blossoming from it. No control is even needed in this case. Blessings are simply overflowing without any intervention.
2. You could have an environment that is stable and neutral, such that, you can use your effort to get more and more pleasure. This would be the realm of hobbies, passions, explorations, romances, achievements, endeavours, adventures etc.
3. You could have a hostile environment, that is quite unstable, such that it imprisons and enslaves you even to just maintain stability. Here there is constant struggle, using control just to keep things ok.
4. You could have an environment so hostile, and so unstable, that everything around you devolves and worsens, and even the exertion of all your control only slows and makes somewhat bearable this unstoppable fall.
I could call the first 2 levels as heavens and the last 2 levels as hells.
The 1st world, 2nd world ——vs—— The 3rd world, 4th world
The blind men and the elephant analogy describes our experience with time
Time = Kala/Darkness/Blankness.
When it comes to time, we live like blind men.
Unable to see beyond the present moment,
Living moment to moment.
Someone whose time is good says life is good,
Someone whose time is bad says life is bad.
Who is right?
Someone who is dying says life is destruction.
Someone who is at a thriving stage says life is constructive.
Who has the correct view of what life is?
This reminds me of the analogy of the blind men and the elephant.
Depending on what they feel,
They create a model of what life is based on that.
We live moment to moment, unable to sense time itself.
With our eyes open we can perceive reasonably large amounts of space.
But when it comes to time, we have no such sense.
The longer we live, the more we use our memory to model what life is like.
But we only base our idea by retrospect.
If time changes in a way that is different from our immediate past,
We cannot know.
The body of astral cords
This is a bit of a speculative post.
I am trying to visualize a model that captures my experience in the relational area of life.
The colossus of the astral relational body/tree = Astral cords connecting me to others.
Every enmity and ‘Runa’ there in the cords, can make me potentially suffer.
Every friendship and love there in the cords, can bring me potential joy.
The ‘Runa’ could be of ‘guilt and giving’ or ‘anger and taking’.
Most of these cords may be unconscious and only come to light when the person enters the conscious mind, at a particular time-space.
In a way, the tree of life connects everyone to everyone through cords.
Could it be every interaction with that person is ‘that astral cord’ brought to the conscious?
But the other end of the cord is another conscious entity too.
Both the entities on either side of the cord would ideally take mutual responsibility.
But if that does not happen, then the more mature one would have to take responsibility.
Life is also like Tetris,
Things/places/people also constantly change,
Very slowly, like a glacier at times, but they do change.
So I guess there are different time-spans to be spent with different people.
Maybe this was preordained even before birth?
That connection cord is revealed (brought into the conscious mind, tuned into) depending on who you are spending time with.
Whether they bring you joy or sorrow depends upon the nature of the relationship you have with that entity at that time-space condition.
So could all the pain and anger at the other could be the astral cord pain,
Like similar to spraining your ankle or pulling a muscle in the physical body?
I feel like any attempt to fight with the person is powerless against the cord itself.
I feel it is not possible to really sever connection with any being.
However if someone is really unworkable,
It is maybe not their time, and it’s maybe best to let them free.
They may again reconnect with you after an aeon.
What is the value you bring to others?
RULE: “We do onto others, what we do onto ourselves first.”
The way we treat/deal/work with ourselves is the way we treat/deal/work with others too.
One’s value then is basically what one does onto oneself.
That same doing just gets extended/projected to the other.
So in essence: We serve others the way we serve ourselves.
About transformation and true life
All transformation is by definition towards ‘the unknown’.
The surrender into it is not from any specific calculation.
It is ‘change’ for its own sake, and the ‘yielding’ to it.
The slogan here is:
“I am not trying to change, rather I am just allowing change to change me.”
“The whole moves the whole, no part moves the whole.”
True life is not about one’s smartness or calculations.
It is for its own sake.
It is the indiscriminate surrender into dissolution.
It is along the lines of: “Thy shall be done” or “Let thy be done”.
It is allowing the flowering, blossoming, maturing, burning up, unfolding of life through one, whatever the case may be.
It is like a great unravelling.
It is the indiscriminate and total willingness to dissolve into the greater.
It resembles a kind of great love.
That one dies into willingly.
It is not something a part of you does to gain something.
It is not something that is chosen.
Rather, it is something that one falls into,
When there is the realization that there is nothing greater that one can desire.
It is like falling into a black hole,
And letting the black hole turn you inside out.
Everything goes through a 180degrees reversal here,
As the mystics have shared since ages.
Whatever was once believed to be outside,
Is now seen as the projection of one’s inside.
Connects to the saying: “We do not see the world as it is, but as we are”.
It reminds me of the idea of the philosophers stone.
A peculiar saying that goes along the lines:
“The philosophers stone is not an object in your imagination,
Rather, you are the imagination of the philosophers stone.”
One never returns to the regular worldview after this.
This black hole is the passage/portal through which one exits this great illusion.
It is simply unimaginable and impossible to explain to the uninitiated.
It is like stepping out of this great magical spell that makes us believe we are a body in this world.
The past idea of the world and all that was believed to be real knowledge fades like a dream.
One is then carried through this vortex by the will of life itself,
From the known shores into the unknown.
Journey to the Abstract 