The feelings determine the activities of the mind.
The mind only attends to where the heart is, in the first place.
For every ‘Mental Image’ -> There is a juice/feeling/chemistry about it.
Metaphysical law of control
Metaphysical law of control:
“You have to control yourself first,
Before you can control others.”
What makes it good/bad/right/wrong/helpful/harmful,
Is related to the relative consciousness/vision and unconsciousness/limitedness.
I.e. the intelligence (understanding) that does the controlling.
All control comes from the mind (mind-control).
All others and ‘others’ minds’ appear in your singular mind space.
If you relinquish controlling yourself,
You automatically relinquish controlling others too.
And to the degree to which you control yourself,
You control others too (directly or indirectly).
“You have to control yourself first,
Before you can control others.”
What makes it good/bad/right/wrong/helpful/harmful,
Is related to the relative consciousness/vision and unconsciousness/limitedness.
I.e. the intelligence (understanding) that does the controlling.
All control comes from the mind (mind-control).
All others and ‘others’ minds’ appear in your singular mind space.
If you relinquish controlling yourself,
You automatically relinquish controlling others too.
And to the degree to which you control yourself,
You control others too (directly or indirectly).
Pain is a demand on our attention
Every pain basically demands (seizes) attention.
When we would rather attend to something else,
That is when the pain creates suffering.
The suffering is from the resistance,
Of not wanting to attend to that which is paining.
It could be argued the pain itself appears,
Only after one has ignored something for long enough,
That it starts to break into the threshold of consciousness and escalate.
I’m creating 2 definitions here:
Selfish = attends to self, neglects the other.
Selfless = attends to others, neglects the self.
Broadly I’ve seen:
The selfless person may suffer from a lot of pain themselves,
But others are fairly happy/ok with them.
On the other hand, the selfish person may be quite well themselves,
But others struggle and have a lot of pains in relation to them.
Whatever is not loved creates pain.
When the self is not loved, it creates inside pain = selfless person.
When the other is not loved, the other gives you pain = selfish person.
Only what is loved is satisfied,
And what is not loved is in pain.
The separated disowned parts of your psyche are wanting reintegration,
And the pain is to get you to attend to them and finally own them.
This self-other distinction I wrote above,
Is more for the convenience of speaking and analyzing.
In reality or essence, there is no such division.
They both are only parts of a single landscape.
They are both parts of your current dream in consciousness.
When we would rather attend to something else,
That is when the pain creates suffering.
The suffering is from the resistance,
Of not wanting to attend to that which is paining.
It could be argued the pain itself appears,
Only after one has ignored something for long enough,
That it starts to break into the threshold of consciousness and escalate.
I’m creating 2 definitions here:
Selfish = attends to self, neglects the other.
Selfless = attends to others, neglects the self.
Broadly I’ve seen:
The selfless person may suffer from a lot of pain themselves,
But others are fairly happy/ok with them.
On the other hand, the selfish person may be quite well themselves,
But others struggle and have a lot of pains in relation to them.
Whatever is not loved creates pain.
When the self is not loved, it creates inside pain = selfless person.
When the other is not loved, the other gives you pain = selfish person.
Only what is loved is satisfied,
And what is not loved is in pain.
The separated disowned parts of your psyche are wanting reintegration,
And the pain is to get you to attend to them and finally own them.
This self-other distinction I wrote above,
Is more for the convenience of speaking and analyzing.
In reality or essence, there is no such division.
They both are only parts of a single landscape.
They are both parts of your current dream in consciousness.
What is healing
Healing is a commitment/decision.
It is a direction/dedication/orientation/choice.
Healing is a learning process,
Of figuring out what works and how much.
It is the journey of getting closer to causation.
It is a journey of getting closer to the root.
It is a journey of getting closer to reality.
It is a journey of getting closer to source.
It is a journey of getting closer to truth.
It is a journey of getting closer to essence.
It is a journey of getting closer to honesty.
It is a journey of discovering and transcending,
Ever larger cycles/loops or recursive patterns.
It is a journey through higher and higher planes of understanding,
And through higher and higher planes/dimensions,
Whose structures and relationships are through intuitive insight.
The healing journey is a journey of revelation,
Of greater and greater underlying mysteries.
Healing is a journey of moving from the gross to the subtle,
And of moving from compulsion to awareness.
Healing is to remember (re-member) yourself,
To connect all of your fragments,
And move towards becoming whole,
And move towards atonement (at-one-ment).
To heal is to yield to and feed the fire within,
That wants to know the ultimate truth.
It is a direction/dedication/orientation/choice.
Healing is a learning process,
Of figuring out what works and how much.
It is the journey of getting closer to causation.
It is a journey of getting closer to the root.
It is a journey of getting closer to reality.
It is a journey of getting closer to source.
It is a journey of getting closer to truth.
It is a journey of getting closer to essence.
It is a journey of getting closer to honesty.
It is a journey of discovering and transcending,
Ever larger cycles/loops or recursive patterns.
It is a journey through higher and higher planes of understanding,
And through higher and higher planes/dimensions,
Whose structures and relationships are through intuitive insight.
The healing journey is a journey of revelation,
Of greater and greater underlying mysteries.
Healing is a journey of moving from the gross to the subtle,
And of moving from compulsion to awareness.
Healing is to remember (re-member) yourself,
To connect all of your fragments,
And move towards becoming whole,
And move towards atonement (at-one-ment).
To heal is to yield to and feed the fire within,
That wants to know the ultimate truth.
Description of the realm of ‘dread, trance, and emptiness’
The dark night of the soul is the journey from:
Illusion -> Illumination -> Union.
During the ‘Illumination -> Union’ phase,
There are different bardo realms of experience to be passed through.
Here I’ll describe the bardo I am presently going through,
Which is of ‘Dread-Trance-Emptiness’.
The ‘dread-trance-emptiness’ bardo,
Has a lot of chaos, confusion, and disorganization
There is deep exhaustion,
In my ability to ‘be/become’ anything.
Like the king is unable to act anymore.
He is just a passive witness to his collapsing kingdom,
Which is falling into evermore chaos-confusion-randomness.
He has even lost interest/desire in it to keep it going,
And is simply now a passive spectator,
Of the spectacle of his kingdom falling into chaos,
And getting reabsorbed by all its surrounding forces.
‘Neglect’ and ‘Withdrawal’ of anything causes death of that thing.
So the process is very much like the process of conscious ego death.
This paradoxically feels like a descent and ascent at the same time.
The plunge into the depths is also the ascent to the heights.
To see everything from above is to see everything from below, and vice versa.
There is a process of passive purgation,
Of a journey into the purgatory playing/unfolding itself out.
I abide in this space passively,
In a ‘continuous falling’ into it.
It is like being in a kayak on a river current.
You cannot stop moving,
But you can influence the kayak with your paddles.
There is again a paradox here, that:
It seems deeply personal and yet so deeply impersonal at the same time.
Passions emerge, actions happen,
But the emptiness of all of it pervades my being.
Almost no experience is riveting enough,
To make me lose sight of the emptiness in the background.
I feel if I pass through all this madness,
I might bottom out and emerge on the other side.
This feels more like a time-energy thing,
Rather than a defined spatial thing,
Where there is a definite distance to cover.
The loss of identity,
Causes a fall into the shadows underneath.
Like sinking into the ground of chaos-filth,
From which the trees of identity spawn and return to.
This is a place where will/action are heavily suspended,
(Hanged man tarot archetype),
And one must mostly only abide/allow.
The only freedoms I have are to resist or allow.
And resistance hurts anyways,
So there is no actual freedom at all.
This archetypal chaotic dream madness (which is also the creative ground),
From which identities/egos in the world spawn,
Resembles the ’12th house’ described in astrology.
It is like the state of ‘dreaming and imagination’.
Waking > Dream > Sleep is what we ordinarily think.
But I think in the spiritual ascension path,
It is the reverse.
Being awake in ‘Sleep’ = Prajna (direct insight),
Being awake in ‘Dream’ = Vigyana (special meta knowledge),
Being awake in ‘Waking’ = Gyana (knowledge)
I feel like my awareness of emptiness is me being awake in the dream world/space/bardos.
This underground/underworld,
Feels like falling into a bottomless pit,
Where there is an infinite fall,
And where I am always in the center in spite of the continuously falling.
Only the scenery continuously keeps changing.
Sometimes I fall through clouds of scintillating mist,
Other times I fall through clouds made of acid.
The only way to communicate or share this experience with others,
Is through imaginative symbolic expressions.
A person going through a similar experience would probably instantly relate.
For others it may be a bit of a stretch to imagine/see.
Illusion -> Illumination -> Union.
During the ‘Illumination -> Union’ phase,
There are different bardo realms of experience to be passed through.
Here I’ll describe the bardo I am presently going through,
Which is of ‘Dread-Trance-Emptiness’.
The ‘dread-trance-emptiness’ bardo,
Has a lot of chaos, confusion, and disorganization
There is deep exhaustion,
In my ability to ‘be/become’ anything.
Like the king is unable to act anymore.
He is just a passive witness to his collapsing kingdom,
Which is falling into evermore chaos-confusion-randomness.
He has even lost interest/desire in it to keep it going,
And is simply now a passive spectator,
Of the spectacle of his kingdom falling into chaos,
And getting reabsorbed by all its surrounding forces.
‘Neglect’ and ‘Withdrawal’ of anything causes death of that thing.
So the process is very much like the process of conscious ego death.
This paradoxically feels like a descent and ascent at the same time.
The plunge into the depths is also the ascent to the heights.
To see everything from above is to see everything from below, and vice versa.
There is a process of passive purgation,
Of a journey into the purgatory playing/unfolding itself out.
I abide in this space passively,
In a ‘continuous falling’ into it.
It is like being in a kayak on a river current.
You cannot stop moving,
But you can influence the kayak with your paddles.
There is again a paradox here, that:
It seems deeply personal and yet so deeply impersonal at the same time.
Passions emerge, actions happen,
But the emptiness of all of it pervades my being.
Almost no experience is riveting enough,
To make me lose sight of the emptiness in the background.
I feel if I pass through all this madness,
I might bottom out and emerge on the other side.
This feels more like a time-energy thing,
Rather than a defined spatial thing,
Where there is a definite distance to cover.
The loss of identity,
Causes a fall into the shadows underneath.
Like sinking into the ground of chaos-filth,
From which the trees of identity spawn and return to.
This is a place where will/action are heavily suspended,
(Hanged man tarot archetype),
And one must mostly only abide/allow.
The only freedoms I have are to resist or allow.
And resistance hurts anyways,
So there is no actual freedom at all.
This archetypal chaotic dream madness (which is also the creative ground),
From which identities/egos in the world spawn,
Resembles the ’12th house’ described in astrology.
It is like the state of ‘dreaming and imagination’.
Waking > Dream > Sleep is what we ordinarily think.
But I think in the spiritual ascension path,
It is the reverse.
Being awake in ‘Sleep’ = Prajna (direct insight),
Being awake in ‘Dream’ = Vigyana (special meta knowledge),
Being awake in ‘Waking’ = Gyana (knowledge)
I feel like my awareness of emptiness is me being awake in the dream world/space/bardos.
This underground/underworld,
Feels like falling into a bottomless pit,
Where there is an infinite fall,
And where I am always in the center in spite of the continuously falling.
Only the scenery continuously keeps changing.
Sometimes I fall through clouds of scintillating mist,
Other times I fall through clouds made of acid.
The only way to communicate or share this experience with others,
Is through imaginative symbolic expressions.
A person going through a similar experience would probably instantly relate.
For others it may be a bit of a stretch to imagine/see.
Emotional health in relationships
Here are some of the signs (imo) of emotional health in relationships:
# Consistent high emotional responsiveness
# Consistent high engagement
# Consistent high involvement
# Consistent high availability
# Consistent reciprocal/matched/tuned participation
# Consistent responsibility/ownership for the relationship
# Consistent proper clear honest emotional communication
# Consistent connection (not handling connection like interrupts)
Consistent and high [x] —vs— Erratic and low [x]
[Where x = responsiveness, engagement, involvement, availability,
participation, responsibility, honesty, connection]
The latter here would describe an environment of emotional suffering.
# Consistent high emotional responsiveness
# Consistent high engagement
# Consistent high involvement
# Consistent high availability
# Consistent reciprocal/matched/tuned participation
# Consistent responsibility/ownership for the relationship
# Consistent proper clear honest emotional communication
# Consistent connection (not handling connection like interrupts)
Consistent and high [x] —vs— Erratic and low [x]
[Where x = responsiveness, engagement, involvement, availability,
participation, responsibility, honesty, connection]
The latter here would describe an environment of emotional suffering.
The inspiration from the void takes form
Inspiration is basically potential energy.
From the void, an inspiration takes a form,
And when the inspiration has completed its surge/influx,
The form drops back/returns to the ground of being/void.
Every in-breath is from an inspiration.
It reaches its cresendo/peak,
And then there is a full emptying of all that was gathered.
One then abides in the emptiness of breath,
Until the next wave of inspiration happens.
Like the milk getting heated from the flame of inspiration,
And swelling from that,
And when the flame of inspiration goes off,
The milk swell starts to lower, until it is level again.
Inspiration I feel is ever present like the air.
But I think it is the limitation of our form,
That it can only draw/hold so much before stopping all further reception,
And needing to empty first.
Existence in this form is therefore a duality,
Of the alternation of filling and emptying.
In theistic terms, when they say
‘god loves you’ Or ‘connect with love’,
I think it essentially means,
You are connecting with the energy that inspired your form.
So every form is from an inspiration.
It could however be in the process of waxing or waning.
Every form is an expression of a certain potential/possibility.
Life is this influx into form,
And Death is the return to the void.
From the void, an inspiration takes a form,
And when the inspiration has completed its surge/influx,
The form drops back/returns to the ground of being/void.
Every in-breath is from an inspiration.
It reaches its cresendo/peak,
And then there is a full emptying of all that was gathered.
One then abides in the emptiness of breath,
Until the next wave of inspiration happens.
Like the milk getting heated from the flame of inspiration,
And swelling from that,
And when the flame of inspiration goes off,
The milk swell starts to lower, until it is level again.
Inspiration I feel is ever present like the air.
But I think it is the limitation of our form,
That it can only draw/hold so much before stopping all further reception,
And needing to empty first.
Existence in this form is therefore a duality,
Of the alternation of filling and emptying.
In theistic terms, when they say
‘god loves you’ Or ‘connect with love’,
I think it essentially means,
You are connecting with the energy that inspired your form.
So every form is from an inspiration.
It could however be in the process of waxing or waning.
Every form is an expression of a certain potential/possibility.
Life is this influx into form,
And Death is the return to the void.
About transformation
Transformation is about:
Finding your own deepest desire,
Yielding to it,
Letting it change you,
And finally rule you.
Finding your own deepest desire,
Yielding to it,
Letting it change you,
And finally rule you.
Love and Expectation
‘The power of Love’ being subservient to/within a ‘Structure’ = Expectation (A love that is bound/conditional).
‘Structures’ being subservient to/within ‘The power of Love’ = Free-Love
Earlier I believed that unconditional love was a virtue to strive for.
But now I see that conditional love itself happens from ignorance,
From the ignorance of the mixing of form and essence.
It is like shining light on objects,
And mistaking the light reflections to mean the objects are inherently emitting that light.
Generally greater the love = Greater and Subtler the identification.
There is a finer-perfusion and extension of that into the forms of this realm.
Love is also what allows you to see.
To see something you must love it first.
All expressions/symbolizations/representations of love,
Are understood and self-evidently known,
Only when one is in it.
We believe we love the loved-objects,
But what we really desire is love itself.
We only really love love itself,
And enjoy the reflections of the love we ourselves put out.
When we love very little,
But take on enormous overheads and burdens to uphold those things,
It is a case of the yin-yang black fish with the white eye.
When our love is enormously large (for a great many things),
But the overheads and burdens are negligible to uphold those things,
Then it is a case of the yin-yang white fish with the black eye.
To feel blessed(abundant) —-vs—- To feel forsaken(abandoned)
White fish with black eye —-vs—- Black fish with white eye
‘Structures’ being subservient to/within ‘The power of Love’ = Free-Love
Earlier I believed that unconditional love was a virtue to strive for.
But now I see that conditional love itself happens from ignorance,
From the ignorance of the mixing of form and essence.
It is like shining light on objects,
And mistaking the light reflections to mean the objects are inherently emitting that light.
Generally greater the love = Greater and Subtler the identification.
There is a finer-perfusion and extension of that into the forms of this realm.
Love is also what allows you to see.
To see something you must love it first.
All expressions/symbolizations/representations of love,
Are understood and self-evidently known,
Only when one is in it.
We believe we love the loved-objects,
But what we really desire is love itself.
We only really love love itself,
And enjoy the reflections of the love we ourselves put out.
When we love very little,
But take on enormous overheads and burdens to uphold those things,
It is a case of the yin-yang black fish with the white eye.
When our love is enormously large (for a great many things),
But the overheads and burdens are negligible to uphold those things,
Then it is a case of the yin-yang white fish with the black eye.
To feel blessed(abundant) —-vs—- To feel forsaken(abandoned)
White fish with black eye —-vs—- Black fish with white eye
Reality and Possibility
What is a reality in a lower dimension,
Is only a possibility from its higher dimension.
Is only a possibility from its higher dimension.
Journey to the Abstract 