Human life is a descent into earth as a physical form,
While death is the ascent back to the non-physical.
A woman’s body is tuned to the cycles of the moon.
The egg that is produced every month is a seed possibility.
An egg gets created once every month from the age of puberty until menopause,
From say 13 to 50, i.e. for 37 years.
The egg will however take a human form only if it receives the necessary inspiration.
If the right inspiration is received, things move forward,
And like a potter’s wheel, the human being is then forged by the forces of time.
Like a paint smear from start to finish, it starts thick and fades out.
Time in the womb – Birth – Infancy – Childhood – Teenage years – Adulthood – Old age…and so on.
We start off as a witness of the body, and over time grow into our power to control our faculties.
The body vehicle is a continuously transforming vehicle going through its own process from birth, growth, stability, reduction, to death.
Everyone else is moving in their own path in time,
However I will experience all of them relative to my own path in time.
We experience everything relative to our own movement.
Generally our experience of the world is only a reflection of the experience of our body.
The changing or fixed world is only a reflection of our changing or fixed bodies.
The world is the screen, while the body is the projector, while we are what witnesses the light shining through.
Generally a lifetime is said to last for around 1008 moon cycles (84 years).
And we could say there are 4 seasons between – 0-21, 21-42, 42-63, 63-84.
From the body’s perspective, these time periods would be: spring, summer, fall, winter seasons.
We are travelers in time, meeting other travelers in time.
The system reminds me of a giant clockwork with 9 planets/moons forming its whirling hands.
We seem to descend condense into the form, and then fade out of the form as we age.
This makes me wonder about the nature of the body itself.
It feels like the body is only a product of the time path and circumstances it was forged in.
We could be born again and again, and descend into other bodies with other time start points and paths.
In those other births, we would once again experience a totally new world, because the world would now appear relative to those new bodies and their new time paths.
It is as if we are experiencing the same general matrix from different paths in every birth.
The inspiration from the void takes form
Inspiration is basically potential energy.
From the void, an inspiration takes a form,
And when the inspiration has completed its surge/influx,
The form drops back/returns to the ground of being/void.
Every in-breath is from an inspiration.
It reaches its cresendo/peak,
And then there is a full emptying of all that was gathered.
One then abides in the emptiness of breath,
Until the next wave of inspiration happens.
Like the milk getting heated from the flame of inspiration,
And swelling from that,
And when the flame of inspiration goes off,
The milk swell starts to lower, until it is level again.
Inspiration I feel is ever present like the air.
But I think it is the limitation of our form,
That it can only draw/hold so much before stopping all further reception,
And needing to empty first.
Existence in this form is therefore a duality,
Of the alternation of filling and emptying.
In theistic terms, when they say
‘god loves you’ Or ‘connect with love’,
I think it essentially means,
You are connecting with the energy that inspired your form.
So every form is from an inspiration.
It could however be in the process of waxing or waning.
Every form is an expression of a certain potential/possibility.
Life is this influx into form,
And Death is the return to the void.
From the void, an inspiration takes a form,
And when the inspiration has completed its surge/influx,
The form drops back/returns to the ground of being/void.
Every in-breath is from an inspiration.
It reaches its cresendo/peak,
And then there is a full emptying of all that was gathered.
One then abides in the emptiness of breath,
Until the next wave of inspiration happens.
Like the milk getting heated from the flame of inspiration,
And swelling from that,
And when the flame of inspiration goes off,
The milk swell starts to lower, until it is level again.
Inspiration I feel is ever present like the air.
But I think it is the limitation of our form,
That it can only draw/hold so much before stopping all further reception,
And needing to empty first.
Existence in this form is therefore a duality,
Of the alternation of filling and emptying.
In theistic terms, when they say
‘god loves you’ Or ‘connect with love’,
I think it essentially means,
You are connecting with the energy that inspired your form.
So every form is from an inspiration.
It could however be in the process of waxing or waning.
Every form is an expression of a certain potential/possibility.
Life is this influx into form,
And Death is the return to the void.
What inspiration experientially feels like
Breathe out completely and hold.
Do not breathe in again immediately.
Wait for about 10 seconds (or whatever time suits you),
Until you feel a strong urge brimming inside you to take the next inbreath.
Now just give in to that urge,
And let it carry you all the way as you take an inbreath,
Until you are filled with the satisfaction of fulfilling that.
Feel the fulfillment and satisfaction of that process of letting the urge carry you all the way.
After that, once again you can breathe out and hold,
And go into another cycle of this, if you wish.
The inspiration is that upwelling and brimming of that urge to breathe in.
I have not found a more visceral, direct, tangible, and reproducible way to experience ‘inspiration’ itself.
Every inbreath in reality is from a influx of inspiration carrying you through it.
I have seen that esp. when doing multiple cycles of this,
Done with full focus, the inbreaths can get very pleasurable.
A feeling of ‘the magic breath’ happens.
It starts to feel like a deep immersive emotional experience.
Do not breathe in again immediately.
Wait for about 10 seconds (or whatever time suits you),
Until you feel a strong urge brimming inside you to take the next inbreath.
Now just give in to that urge,
And let it carry you all the way as you take an inbreath,
Until you are filled with the satisfaction of fulfilling that.
Feel the fulfillment and satisfaction of that process of letting the urge carry you all the way.
After that, once again you can breathe out and hold,
And go into another cycle of this, if you wish.
The inspiration is that upwelling and brimming of that urge to breathe in.
I have not found a more visceral, direct, tangible, and reproducible way to experience ‘inspiration’ itself.
Every inbreath in reality is from a influx of inspiration carrying you through it.
I have seen that esp. when doing multiple cycles of this,
Done with full focus, the inbreaths can get very pleasurable.
A feeling of ‘the magic breath’ happens.
It starts to feel like a deep immersive emotional experience.
The descent into chaos
Essentially this experience of mine,
Is a descent into chaos,
Where my body loses its coherence,
And organizes itself around a swarm of chaotic desires,
That form the full backdrop of my experience (as shown in the picture),
While the foreground has me doing all the usual jobs to survive.
It feels like the state in-between lives,
Like a kind of bardo,
Like the night sky full of stars (unlimited possibilities),
Vs. the sunny sky (few overruling possibilities).
But this chaos is also the breeding ground,
For offshoots of creativity,
Because of the sheer awareness of swarms of possibilities.
I feel like I’m swimming in the very same ocean of chaos,
That the psychotic drowns in,
Because my eyes are open here in this ground.
I intuit that this seems like the precondition for psychological rebirth,
Where when the season is right,
A certain powerful creative influx will spring me out of this place/phase,
And organize my life into the next higher freq struct.
This lack of organization diminishes vitality though,
And puts me in a state closer to death.
Birth is really a state where an desire/inspiration seed is sprouting.
So in this case, one sort of returns closer to the seed,
Which is likely to sprout again from a new desire/inspiration,
When the outer conditions are favorable, like the Spring season.
Birth is like Spring, Death is like Winter, for the seed.
The cycle of seasons continue,
Resulting in cycles of birth and death continuously,
Until one transcends in their identity,
And when all desires are sublimated.
Birth and Death follow each other.
Every death heralds a birth following it.
This is the principle.
How long it takes is not as relevant,
That is only a matter of degree.
Gurus are like mountains, Society is like the plain settlements
Every guru is like a mountain.
The seeker is the adventurer,
Who ascends the mountain,
To reach its peak,
To the shrine of light.
He may then choose.
To bring the light down to the plains.
General society/civilization on the other hand,
Are like the settlements at the plains.
Society is a combination of maintenance and inspiration,
The inspiration/evolution/change/renaissance,
Is brought about by the seekers who ascend the mountains,
And bring down their light.
Inspiration and Energy
Inspiration + Energy = Euphoria
Inspiration – Energy = Regular Tiredness
Energy – Inspiration = Boredom
(- Energy) – Inspiration = Depression
Inspiration – Energy = Regular Tiredness
Energy – Inspiration = Boredom
(- Energy) – Inspiration = Depression
My new principles for living
From conditioned to unconditioned:
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# Bring full involvement of all of you at every moment.
# Engage with everything as if for the first time.
# Give yourself and your involvement completely into all experience.
# Engage with each moment, on its own terms, indiscriminately.
# Give out your most sincere/full/true expressions all the time, and let go totally of the results (give total freedom to the results).
# Live as the ever-alive fire you are (the Phoenix).
# Do whatever you do – Totally and Absolutely intensely – With total Responsibility, Authenticity, Accountability, Commitment, Engagement, Power, Wholeness, and Involvement.
# Keep your center of gravity/focus on the eternal, rather than on the temporal.
# Go straight for the sun, and don’t settle for any of the myriad moons reflecting its light.
************************************
# Bring full involvement of all of you at every moment.
# Engage with everything as if for the first time.
# Give yourself and your involvement completely into all experience.
# Engage with each moment, on its own terms, indiscriminately.
# Give out your most sincere/full/true expressions all the time, and let go totally of the results (give total freedom to the results).
# Live as the ever-alive fire you are (the Phoenix).
# Do whatever you do – Totally and Absolutely intensely – With total Responsibility, Authenticity, Accountability, Commitment, Engagement, Power, Wholeness, and Involvement.
# Keep your center of gravity/focus on the eternal, rather than on the temporal.
# Go straight for the sun, and don’t settle for any of the myriad moons reflecting its light.
The ultimate innocence looks out through every being
From the highest context, even evil is innocent, “They know not what they do”.
“I forgive the sinners, and I repent and forgive myself too for all these acts”.
I also see the innocence of it, because everyone ultimately acts from their deepest wisdom and frame of reference at that point of time.
There is no force and power greater than compassion, because it is the truth.
Compassion comes from the recognition that the other is just like me, as innocent as me. The same formless innocence does everything.
More than evil, guilt or punishment, my destructive acts were from “ignorance/blindness”.
Blind to the fact that those beings are the same as me and I could have very well been them.
They deserve no worse treatment than the way I treat my self.
All of them are god’s bodies/avatars.
To treat them badly is pure ignorance/blindness and failure to acknowledge and see the same god looking out through the other being.
It also implies identification with the form and therefore seeing all other forms as other.
It is not the same innocent formless looking out at me from the other forms?
Once your form is seen in its entirety along with the heart and psychological matrix, the eye that sees that is the [innocent formless eye], and that is the one that knows and has the gnosis that it is that same eye that looks out of every other form – be it an insect, animal, thing etc.
What could I possibly use my power for? – but to understand the other which is understanding of my own other avatars/forms?
The best thing I can do is understand how life works, the highest context, and let that play out.
My seeing of unity, makes me unconditionally work to improve/enhance life and understand it.
I do not want to exploit any ‘other’.
That is like my one hand exploiting the other hand.
The eye of the heart sees/feels RESONANCE.
Here seeing and feeling are ONE.
I will first give my self all the possible love/care/attention/nurture/guidance/affection/play/understanding/inspiration/hope and then let my being spontaneously overflow to others.
My self is the only project, and when I understand the infinity in myself, I can understand that infinity in all the others too.
Because ultimately I can contact any other only when my eyes are clear, only when my heart is clear, only when my body is clear, only when I am WELL.
Let me perfect my own instrument, and then perfectly serve from this perfected instrument.
I work on clearing my instrument.
There is no difference between the way I treat others and the way I treat myself.
The work I do on understanding myself -> will translate into the same deep level of deep understanding of others.
When I am perfect and empty -> that seeing will RESONATE with the perfect and empty in the other and I will INTERACT with them from this HIGHEST CONTEXT.
All action will be done from this HIGHEST CONTEXT and in ALIGNMENT with the highest truth.
“I forgive the sinners, and I repent and forgive myself too for all these acts”.
I also see the innocence of it, because everyone ultimately acts from their deepest wisdom and frame of reference at that point of time.
There is no force and power greater than compassion, because it is the truth.
Compassion comes from the recognition that the other is just like me, as innocent as me. The same formless innocence does everything.
More than evil, guilt or punishment, my destructive acts were from “ignorance/blindness”.
Blind to the fact that those beings are the same as me and I could have very well been them.
They deserve no worse treatment than the way I treat my self.
All of them are god’s bodies/avatars.
To treat them badly is pure ignorance/blindness and failure to acknowledge and see the same god looking out through the other being.
It also implies identification with the form and therefore seeing all other forms as other.
It is not the same innocent formless looking out at me from the other forms?
Once your form is seen in its entirety along with the heart and psychological matrix, the eye that sees that is the [innocent formless eye], and that is the one that knows and has the gnosis that it is that same eye that looks out of every other form – be it an insect, animal, thing etc.
What could I possibly use my power for? – but to understand the other which is understanding of my own other avatars/forms?
The best thing I can do is understand how life works, the highest context, and let that play out.
My seeing of unity, makes me unconditionally work to improve/enhance life and understand it.
I do not want to exploit any ‘other’.
That is like my one hand exploiting the other hand.
The eye of the heart sees/feels RESONANCE.
Here seeing and feeling are ONE.
I will first give my self all the possible love/care/attention/nurture/guidance/affection/play/understanding/inspiration/hope and then let my being spontaneously overflow to others.
My self is the only project, and when I understand the infinity in myself, I can understand that infinity in all the others too.
Because ultimately I can contact any other only when my eyes are clear, only when my heart is clear, only when my body is clear, only when I am WELL.
Let me perfect my own instrument, and then perfectly serve from this perfected instrument.
I work on clearing my instrument.
There is no difference between the way I treat others and the way I treat myself.
The work I do on understanding myself -> will translate into the same deep level of deep understanding of others.
When I am perfect and empty -> that seeing will RESONATE with the perfect and empty in the other and I will INTERACT with them from this HIGHEST CONTEXT.
All action will be done from this HIGHEST CONTEXT and in ALIGNMENT with the highest truth.
I desire ‘alive sensation’
VITAL ALIVE DANCING
ECSTATIC TRANSFORMING SHIMMERING
DAZZLING GLITTERING SPARKLING
FIRE’Y BRILLIANT RADIANT
POWERFUL ENCHANTING DELECTABLE
EXCITING BEAUTIFUL WONDROUS
LOVELY JOYOUS EXQUISITE
QUIVERING REFRESHING VIBRATORY
BREATHTAKING THRILLING EXOTIC
ETHEREAL DREAMY MAGNIFICENT
SPLENDID MIND-BLOWING FABULOUS
INCREDIBLE AMAZING EXTRAORDINARY
FANTASTIC STAGGERING INSPIRING
STELLAR ASTONISHING DELIGHTFUL
MESMERIZING RIVETING CAPTIVATING
EXUBERANT RAVISHING SENSATION !!
Contemplations on the dark night of the soul
The background memory of the “dark night of the soul/entry into the underworld/dragon of chaos” is what will give me “enjoyment and meaning” for future good experiences?
And similarly, isn’t it so that I perceived the “dark night of the soul” itself from the memory of previously good experiences and hopes?
I see an interplay of foreground and background everywhere:
Life is life because of death in the background.
Death is death because of life in the background.
The 2 mutually need each other for their own BEING.
So the dark night of soul suffering inevitably paves the way for supreme enjoyment.
Similarly, the dark night itself showed that you have had supreme enjoyments in the past, whose loss you lament when you compare your current reality (dark night) to that of the memory you carry.
[bg = background
fg = foreground]
Dissolution process:
…DNOS (Bad memories) ongoing —–<—— Good memories bg
Resurrection process:
DNOS (Bad memories bg) ——–>—— Good memories ongoing…
Chaos bg ——>——– Order fg ongoing…
…Chaos fg ongoing ——-<——– Order bg
Death bg ——>———- Life ongoing…
Death ongoing… ——–<———- Life bg
I intuit these pendulum swings ultimately serve EVOLUTION/GROWTH/WISDOM (the pearl beyond price). This is a higher context to view one’s whole life from by a far stretch. However the HIGHEST of the HIGHEST contexts is the MYSTERY/UNKNOWN.
I can only intuit now from my level of understanding and knowledge.
Also the experiences are holographic/total/analogy/singular, in the NOW. This NOW also contains the [MEMORY->EXPECTATION] FRAMES/LENSES which “condition/shape/structure” perception accordingly.
They may also contain high flavors of paradoxical “presence of absence/presence of loss” which is essentially the witnessing of dissolution/death-process/decathection-process of a certain energy structure = we term as GRIEF.
Grief is the chaos that ensues when a structure is lost, and a hole is created which has to be restitched and re-synthesized with the WHOLE.
Generally for people, ordinary loss is like ONE hole of chaos in their fabric of reality.
But in the dark night of soul, it is the chaos underneath that swallows the entire fabric into itself -> and from that a new much larger structure would potentially emerge.
To give an analogy:
Ordinary losses are like being bitten by a animal, i.e. a small hole of chaos in a large body of order.
You attend to you wound, nurse it and it heals.
The dark night of soul is on the other hand is like a TOTAL loss, like being eaten alive completely by a t-rex, the old you is completely dissolved and after a period of transformation you open your new eyes as the t-rex once your energy is distilled/extracted/integrated into its structure.
It is the ultimate breakdown and the ultimate resurrection.
That is why the masters have always said ->
Deeper the dark night, greater the inquiry = greater the resurrection/greater the upliftment.
The lower you go -> The higher you rise.
The darker the night -> The brighter the day.
The law is illumination by contrast.
The other principles I see that apply are: Alchemy/Sublimation.
How far you are willing and travel into chaos? -> That will be how far of an increase in the deepest order you will experience.
Journey to the Abstract 