States and Stations of Death

It seems like there are 2 deaths,
We need to contend ourselves with,
Existentially speaking.

To go through the process of:
# Psychological death
# Physical death
Depending on where one is in these processes,
That would be his/her “STATION” of experience.
And it is from that station,
That various “STATES” of experience would unfold.

The resistance to these 2 processes,
Is one of the primary sources of our existential suffering.
The suffering of the growth/emergence/birth process,
And the suffering of ripening/dissolution/death process.

There is only consciousness, and there is only the work

There is no inside-outside.
There is no self-other.
There is no you-world.
There is no body-environment.
There is no voluntary-involuntary.
There is just the one.

All of these are distinctions made by the mind,
Like throwing a net from a boat into seamless sea water,
And then calling each square of the net a label.
We create mental maps and use them to control and navigate in our life.
But the map is distinct from the territory.
The map is the lens through which we view the territory.
The territory is one undivided ocean of consciousness.

Reality/Territory appears to us as experience,
Based on how we see it through the maps of our mind.
Each map is a perspective.
And the multiple maps you carry in your mind,
Are like multiple perspectives to see the territory.
But the territory itself is like an unbounded kaleidoscope,
And it contains all of what all of the maps reveal.

We think we are born and we die.
But it is only the persistent appearance that dies.
In fact if you observe each moment,
Things are continuously arising and passing.
We see events because of our lack of vision.
When anything is seen very minutely,
We see that things happen in a continuous stream (continuum).

If life is the bird, its 2 wings are creation and destruction.
Our experience is like a continuous music in time.
Life on earth in the body is the theme of the music now.
This theme will shift and another kind of music may play,
Once the physiological process is completed.

So one very broad perspective of looking at this is:
There is only you and your karma unfolding.
The true completion of your birth,
Is when you complete the karma of the birth.
From this perspective – there are no situations/people/places,
Rather there is just an appearance to work with, whatever it appears as.

How does one complete karma?
In my understanding, it is by transformation.
We penetrate the darkness that surrounds our lives with our light,
And transform it.
We do this until we fulfill the potential (desire) in this birth,
And attain integration, enlightenment, and wholeness.
Then another cycle might begin in the next.

Consciousness creates its own darkness,
Filled with puzzles and possibilities (maya),
And then opens up a point of light (awareness),
With the desire to keep expanding its sphere of reach.

There is only the field

There is only the dream.
There is only the field.
Whatever suffering comes to you is only an appearance of/in the dream field.
The suffering does not come from any particular person, situation, or any thing/event or condition,
They are all only appearance and props of the will of the field itself.
The whole moves the whole, no part moves the whole.

One of the best analogies for this is the movie screen.
The whole movie is playing out in the screen,
And the pixels making the characters in the screen do not have any causal relationship with any of the other pixels, though they might appear to have it in a specific movie.
The whole movie is already there in the film roll,
And the pixels on the screen are not causing each other in any way.
They are all independently responding all at once.
However in our minds when we create meaning, we try to look for causal relations.
Even if causal relations appear to exist they are still only a persistent illusion.

For instance, say you are watching the movie ‘Groundhog day’,
And he keeps waking up everyday in the same bed with the same alarm clock and time,
Next time you see the bed, you’ll immediately predict correctly that the alarm will ring and wake him up.
But that kind of causal relationship is a feature of that particular movie,
And in reality all the pixels are independent of each other and only following the projector reel.
So it is a case of ‘the whole moves the whole’, no part moves the whole wrt. the screen.

Causation is an illusion.
There is only the field, and whatever plays within it is the play of the field itself.
Whatever world, condition, situation, circumstance, or relationship appears,
Is only an appearance that the field plays out just like a movie. 

The power of the field generates “Experience”.
We have various gross-subtle bodies that relate to what is outside to create experience.
Even the transformation of those bodies (by the field itself or by the power of the higher bodies of your own), is also an appearance of the field.
The field is consciousness, only the field is.
All else is an appearance of the field.

The field is the substrate and all that appears are its modulations.
Depending upon what is awake in you,
i.e. the highest body awake in you and its vision/potential/power,
It will transform all of the lower bodies.
Paradoxically when it comes to our bodies, all of them are subservient to the field.
So all their power is only surrogate power, that is of surrendering to the field itself and thereby channeling more of it.
The more you yield to the higher, the greater the powers and vision you channel.

The field is our highest ultimate body technically speaking.
So ultimately if the field itself is awake in you, it will draw you back into itself by transforming the rest.
In a way, during the transformation, nothing fundamentally changed,
All that changed was that all the particles rearranged themselves by yielding to the higher frequency zone that was awake in you, and along with that, all the lesser powers played themselves out and completed themselves.

Voltage and Current as Vision and Power

(This is a rough theory I had an intuition about.
I will flesh it out better with more research.)

Voltage = Vision
Current = Power
Circuit = Structures in Maya
Resistance (In Circuit) = Inertia

Experience = Current flowing in the Circuit because of Voltage (PD).
Infinite Voltage = Infinite Vision
Infinite Current = Infinite Power
Infinite Resistance = Absolute Impossibility

As per Ohm’s Law: I = V/R
Can be translated as: Power = Vision/[Resistances or Inertia].
Your vision is your potential (PD).
It gets plugged into circuits/structures of Maya,
And the extent of current flowing through them determines experience intensity,
Which in turn depends on the resistances in the circuit.

What inspiration experientially feels like

Breathe out completely and hold.
Do not breathe in again immediately.
Wait for about 10 seconds (or whatever time suits you),
Until you feel a strong urge brimming inside you to take the next inbreath.
Now just give in to that urge,
And let it carry you all the way as you take an inbreath,
Until you are filled with the satisfaction of fulfilling that.
Feel the fulfillment and satisfaction of that process of letting the urge carry you all the way.
After that, once again you can breathe out and hold,
And go into another cycle of this, if you wish.

The inspiration is that upwelling and brimming of that urge to breathe in.
I have not found a more visceral, direct, tangible, and reproducible way to experience ‘inspiration’ itself.
Every inbreath in reality is from a influx of inspiration carrying you through it.
I have seen that esp. when doing multiple cycles of this,
Done with full focus, the inbreaths can get very pleasurable.
A feeling of ‘the magic breath’ happens.
It starts to feel like a deep immersive emotional experience.

The sufferings of Rahu Mahadasha (12th house)

This is from my own experience,
Of going through this for the past 7 years.
But I have written this post from the ‘2nd person point of view’.
This post might give some solace,
To all of those going through similar experiences.
I have observed that describing things clearly,
Takes a lot of weight off them.

Actual post:
I have noticed in the Rahu Mahadasha (12th house),
Numerous problems related to senses/nerves/body/pain/brain(mind) appear,
But all of them are unsolvable.
They come and go as they please, outside of your control.
You are only a spectator to all those events.
And if you research, you will get deep into rabbit holes,
Getting totally mired in swamps,
And deep complex pits of despair with nothing working.

The medical industry will drive you crazy into their hopeless universes,
Of terrifying conditions/issues/problems/diseases/syndromes/disorders.
The experience is just off feeling: Confused/Distraught/Terrorized/Despaired/Panicky.
Hopelessness/Futility/Desperation/Obsessiveness/Exasperation are the smells in the air.
You feel more and more inadequate and powerless as you keep researching.
But you can’t stop and you go down the rabbit holes more and more,
But nothing works, everything keeps on failing and confusing you.

Like existence has a conspiracy against you,
Where you helplessly flounder, flail, struggle, to no avail.
You feel assaulted/persecuted/victimized/targeted/oppressed.
All the pure sufferings of the mind.
Since the mind is what creates reasons, this is even beyond reason.
The mysterious moods/feelings/struggles just keep on coming,
And they constantly shape shift,
And escape all your attempts to research and pin down.
They come and go as they please, with you having no control.
You feel utterly humiliated, powerless, meaningless, control-less, and destroyed within.

The sufferings just keep playing out, everyday a new one.
It’s like falling through a valley of shadows, sorrows, miseries, and suffering.
All of it is suffered mostly in silence.
It would not help even if you spoke about it,
Because people would just avoid you like plague anyway.
It is the peak of psycho-somatic troubles.
The mind-body feel so merged, it is not possible to differentiate,
As to what is physiological and what is psychological.
It all assaults you together in ways you simply cannot get a hold over.

It borders on you feeling mad almost,
Because nothing of this world and its methods gives you any idea.
You are carried/dragged helplessly through a storm in the pitch dark night.
Not knowing where you are going or if your actions matter at all.
Nevertheless you can’t help putting a strong front,
And all of your intelligence and might,
To research and research, and figure some way out.

The thoughts that come to you are:
‘I wonder what the learning of this kind of Bardo realm is.
Is it just a quota of sufferings that I must go through to extinguish my karma?
Will this ever end? Will this fog ever leave?
What is the guarantee it will not come back?
How will I ever feel faith again in life if it can do this to me?’
You are then forced to surrender.
These experience unite death and life, and bring you back to the moment,
To a kind of primordial innocence.
When just about anything can happen, in total insecurity,
It challenges everything.
“Let thy will be done” is the feeling.

VR analogy for Turiya

In Vedanta,
There are the following different states of consciousness:
# Turiya
# Deep sleep = Turiya + Deep sleep
# Dreaming = Turiya + Deep sleep + Dreaming
# Waking = Turiya + Deep sleep + Dreaming + Waking

Turiya is not really a state,
But it is the transcendent reality,
That underlies all the 3 states,
Of waking, dreaming, sleeping.

A great way to experientially imagine this,
Is to take the analogy of a VR headset.
You are Turiya.
You first wear the VR headset ‘switched off’ on your head first = Deep sleep
Say the VR headset cycles through these 3 states of:
# Being switched off = Deep sleep
# Movie mode = Dream
# ‘First person’ avatar game mode = Waking
Let’s imagine there are 2 screens on the VR:
# The screen closer to your eye is the movie screen.
# The screen farther away from your eye is the game screen.

The 2 can play simultaneously also, but generally,
When the game screen is switched on,
The movie screen turns translucent,
And serves as a sort of AR (augmented reality) for the game screen.

Imagine you forgot you were wearing this headset,
And got immersed into the game screen appearance,
Then you will believe the game world shown on it is the ground reality.
Supposing you snapped out of the trance,
And realized you were wearing the headset,
This real you that woke up to this is ‘Turiya’.
The VR headset still cycles between being switched off, movie mode, and game mode.
However now the real you is awake behind all of these states.

Imagine trying to convince another avatar in the game mode,
That he is actually another person like you wearing the headset.
How would you go about it?
Whatever he points to in that VR game world,
And even his avatar body, would have nothing to do with what you are trying to point at.

Similarly the other implication of this analogy would be that:
If you went to deep sleep in the game mode for the other players,
It means your headset is in its turned off state.
The real you wearing the headset is still awake.
However, since your headset is switched off, you would receive no information from the VR game world.
Other players would find you motionless/asleep/dead.
And even if they waved at you from within the game,
You would not receive that.
But however the real you, is still awake,
Just observing the blankness of the switched off screen.
This real you that is transcendent of the VR headset and its simulated worlds = Turiya.

Real knowledge must be rooted in direct perception

Many times, when I ask people about what they feel about a certain thing,
They would respond with: I don’t know, or I’m blank, or no idea.
That is usually in the colloquial context.
However, when examined existentially, that is not true at all.
They do know.
They do have lot of preexisting beliefs, frameworks, ideas, imaginations, and preconceptions about that thing.

When it is said ‘The enlightened one is the one that realizes that he does not know’,
We wonder: ‘Ok, what about all the commoners who also say the same about everything?’
In reality, the latter set of people do believe they know,
And have all sorts of conceptions, imaginations, ideations, associations about it, but it is in unconsciousness/darkness and unexamined.

What holds back people from proper atma-vichara is that they do not contact and work with the proper seed essences from the point of view of consciousness.
Generally, as a thumb rule: ‘You always start from what you do know, and from that seed essence, you grow the tree of knowledge.’
It is a kind of contradiction to say, “I don’t know X”, because in that very statement you have already shown you have a conception of what X is.
It is like saying: “Can you see this tumbler, THIS tumbler (you hold it in your hand or point to it), I can’t see it”.
Or pointing to the tumbler and saying, “This is not a ceramic vessel”.
The next question then would be: “Then…What is it?”
When people say “I don’t know, I’m blank, no idea” = it is a sort of negative definition.
They are not seeing the knowing/ideas they do have about that.

‘NOT’ is always a comparative statement.
Like defining: A as A, and B as ‘not A’.
But B is also B, it is its own thing.
Nothing can not exist. There is only existence.
‘Not’ simply means that thing which exists, is not something else.
So contemplation and gaining knowledge requires you to contact “the essence object/the root rasa” in your consciousness first,
I.e. the knowing/ideas/concepts you do have about it.
Then you can proceed to add on/investigate/deconstruct and so on.
Without contacting this essence, the foundation of all your knowledge is belief based and therefore unstable (relatively unreal).
It is without rooting in your own direct experience.

You are the root which the tree of your knowledge must be attached to, and come from.
If this root is in unconsciousness, then your knowledge will be a flimsy tree without real rooting.
It would live only off consensus.

There is experience/knowing all the time.
Generally, if you ask someone to close their eyes and ask them what do they see, they would say “nothing”.
What they mean in a way is: nothing relevant/significant/important,
Or nothing worth even calling a thing.
But it is important to note that, it is never nothing because nothing does not exist.
They are seeing something (some inchoate murky patterns/fluctuations/forms etc.) which can be artistically and imaginatively described.
By saying nothing, they are essentially saying that whatever is seen is irrelevant and therefore “ignorable”(treated as nothing).
But this is where ignorance lies too.
Seeing is always on, whether your eyes are closed or open, because really it is the mind that is tuning to the sense of seeing, and therefore seeing.

There are essences and degrees.
The essences you perceive in your inner/outer space, are your real riches.
They are the 5th dimension, all the possibilities of your current condition of existence.
This direct perception of essences is your REAL KNOWLEDGE.
These essences are the seeds of real knowledge from which you can build trees and connect them up.
Once the “essence” is perceived, you have the fundamental riches, you can then play around with “degree”, and manifest them fully.

About recognition

‘Recognition’ generally is about others recognizing you,
Which is essentially, others seeing you as part of themselves,
Since what we see in and as others, is only the reflection of our self.
We only see ourselves (aspects of ourselves) in all the others we meet.

Others seeing you, really is them seeing you in them.
Whereas you recognizing others, is you seeing them within you.
All deep recognition is from an identification.
You intimately experience within, that which you recognize.

All riches is really only riches of consciousness.
All true riches is the riches of your inner space experience (Hiranyagarba/Mindscape).
Your riches do not come from others recognizing you.
That is really their riches,
Because that is from them experiencing you in their own inner space.
Your riches are what you can recognize/understand/experience/identify/connect with.