I find it somewhat puzzling.
Even though we in theory come from nature,
Most of our endeavor is in insulating ourselves from it as much as possible.
We crave freedom from nature and its restrictions and randomness,
And build ton loads of infrastructure to minimize direct contact and mediate.
We build:
shoes → to avoid touching the ground
clothes → to escape temperature, wind, exposure
houses → to avoid the wild field of sensory unpredictability
walls → to create zones where nature cannot enter
climate control → to flatten the volatility of the environment
cities → to replace nature with controlled artificiality
screens → to mediate reality through safe distance
cars → as moving capsules of insulation
hospitals → insulation from biological randomness
religions → insulation from metaphysical dread
civilization itself → an enormous buffering machine
Humanity’s entire project seems to be buffering, insulating, distancing, and filtering the raw world.
The animal, human, and mystic
The animal wants to survive,
The mystic wants to dissolve,
The human stands between them,
Haunted by the echo of both.
Reflections on the Integration of Life and Death
My grand life’s musing,
Is the integration of life and death,
Where life and death are not 2 separate events,
But where life and death become one.
What is born dies immediately with change.
Change is instaneous,
The very act of perception itself is to see change,
Change as the vibration/alternation between nothing and something,
Happening rapidly maybe 20times a second.
That seems to be the refresh rate of life and change.
All else is the same principle,
Only the scale/degree varies.
Inbreath is the receiving of life,
Outbreath is the exit of life.
Time is this mega-structure,
That rules all meetings and endings,
And rules all becomings and unbecomings.
In a deeper sense,
There is no becoming nor unbecoming,
The same substance just appears to become or unbecome.
In fact becoming and unbecoming are simultaneous in change.
Change instantly becomes the present and unbecomes what was past.
I imagine a large spectrum.
To the left of it are the things most unchanging, very large timescales.
To the right of it are the things that change every millisecond.
Everything lies somewhere in-between this scale.
Whether it is the scale of inbreath-outbreath happening every few seconds,
Or the scale of a relationship like to parents which lasts half a lifetime.
Memory seems to be the only reason for time’s existence,
Without memory time would not exist?
There would only be the instant/now/that.
The layers of time we experience,
Are they not just the layers of memory?
Time is something we know only by its effect.
We cannot perceive time itself.
Time is what forges the memories,
And time is what fades them out.
We only experience what time dishes out to us + our interpretation.
There is more nuance,
Our experience as a subject is because of the lens of our accumulated memories.
There is also the instantaneous perception of time’s immediate action on us – how it affects us.
But we interpret that through the lens of our memories and build even more memory or reshape old ones.
What would be ‘Experience’ without memory is something elusive and I’m not sure it is even possible.
Even something circling close to that would be – Undefinable, Inexpressable, Ineffable directness.
Like what would it be to see without memory, hear without memory, sense without memory.
Is such an impersonal sensing even possible?
Or does the implied “memory lens subject” and “experience” go together?
My highest idea of living in grace,
Is when we let what comes come, and let what goes go.
A very abstract breakdown of power
In my vision, from a very abstract view, experience has only 3 qualities:
* Vision = The extent of your seeing.
* Power = The extent of your power.
* Sustainability = The extent you can sustain the power.
Power, in its purest form, is self-transformation.
Everything else is a kind of shadow or substitute.
* Control over others or environment = A consolation for lacking the power to see and transform oneself.
It’s reactive and it needs endless force and maintenance.
It is also just blind loyalty to a self you have falsely identified with.
* Self-control = An intermediate step.
It’s internalized power, but limited.
You can restrain impulses or habits, but you’re still structually bound to the mind or circumstances.
It’s like steering a boat along a river you didn’t build.
* Self-transformation = The ultimate power.
Especially when Vision + Power converge: You see what you truly are + actively shape your consciousness and being.
It’s the ability to remodel the very field/structure of existence you inhabit.
True agency is always inward first; everything external is secondary.
Ofc, generating a massive burst of power is not as difficult as sustaining it.
The real challenge is in re-engineering your system to sustain that power/voltage.
The evolutionary master bias
Let’s delve into how things look like from the standpoint of “pure consciousness.”
There are 2 masters:
— Evolutionary reality master (what we call ‘Reality’)
— Altered states/Drugs/Trances master (drastic alterations in experiential-landscape/powers/capacities etc.)
Altered states/Drugs/Trances = They’re snapshots of what consciousness can do if freed from the evolutionary throttles.
Now, why people call drugs “escape” is because the evolutionary master never turns off.
— Evolutionary master keeps you alive.
— The other masters show you what life could feel like if survival wasn’t the priority.
But ontologically all of them are equivalent,
Like seeing 2 different movies on the same screen.
The distinction between “ordinary” and “altered” is just a bias of the evolutionary filter itself.
This is the default hypnosis.
Almost everyone is “loyal” to the evolutionary filter.
People measure everything else by it (“drugs are fake,” “dreams aren’t real,” “visions are imagination”).
Most people instinctively rank: survival is “real,” drugs are “illusory/escape,” mystical states are “holy,” dreams are “just dreams.”
Evolutionary filter = unquestioned baseline (capital-R Reality)
Everything else = treated as derivative, illusory, “less real.”
But this framing removes the privileging.
The evolutionary channel enforces its primacy by brute dominance.
The chit-jada granthi (the knot of consciousness with inert matter) is exactly that binding.
The moment awareness dons form, it accepts the chains of hunger, pain, aging, death, and the endless compulsions of survival.
Embodiment means submission to the evolutionary program.
There is jivanmukti (liberated while living) and videhamukti (liberation at death).
The former is you becoming lucid within the structure.
The latter frees you from the bind itself.
Understanding vs Connection
If connection is there, understanding is just a luxury, not even necessary.
When there is no connection, understanding becomes necessary and mandatory.
The more separate you feel, the more the necessity to understand.
If deep heart resonance is already present, then 2 people can simply join in that ecstasy of shared resonance and synergy (without needing to reflect or understand in post).
Transcendence, in a sense, involves total separation, therefore total understanding too.
When connection is absent or fragile, understanding becomes the bridge.
The connection between voltage, vision, meaningfulness, and depth
It takes desire to even open your eyes and see just about anything.
It takes desire to even subtly move any muscle at all.
This desire is actually the effect of [Voltage/Potential-difference(PD)] that exists,
Between: Where you are (state A) -> What you are pulled towards (state B),
Between: Where you are (state A) -> Future possibility (state B).
The destination may not even be a final point,
The destination may even just be a direction.
Your voltage level also determines your level of vision.
For instance, if I have a passing interest in a topic, there is low voltage,
So I just quickly skim a few articles to equalize the PD,
Causing the voltage to neutralize, and I move on to other things.
So my knowledge on that topic will be only from whatever I skimmed about it.
Whereas if I have very high voltage or super deep interest in that subject,
I’d read through multiple books like no tomorrow,
And in a short time, I’d know more about that subject that the person who just skimmed it even if he repeats that same routine for a 1000days.
High voltage also increases intensity, and that increase in intensity increases vision.
Many insights are simply not possible when there is low-voltage.
Insights are about seeing the pattern by connecting multiple dots.
If I take a spatial analogy, if you have a small torch light and stand at the fence of a football field in total darkness, you might scan a bit with the torch and conclude there is nobody there and leave.
But if you have one of those 100000 lumen mega flashlights, then you might instantly see that at the corners of the field there are a few homeless people sleeping, and also see a few dogs and cats roaming.
So that level of voltage is needed to see the larger patterns (Insight).
In the field of wonder/contemplation/devotion, the voltage/PD is so much, that no amount of your action will close the gap.
This is the realm of fundamental science say about mastering the subatomic space or the mystic who contemplates the universe or wonders about the ultimate nature of reality.
There is no end point in these desires, where the PD could be closed.
These are endless endeavours, but they are also the most profoundly moving.
A very high voltage can a self-transcending experience because it will pull all of you towards the other pole.
You become an instrument that all encompassing-ly serves something far larger than itself.
When we do daily survival tasks,
All of that is initiated by low voltage,
Because firstly there is a clear end point for every task,
And secondly those tasks need only fractional engagement from your side (very limited PD with low current flows that ebb when the tasks are done).
High Voltage, Love, Longing, Devotion, Wonder, Contemplation, Meaningfulness, Vision, Insight, Profundity, Incredible possibility, Depth, Transformation – all mean the same thing essentially.
True life only begins when you are fully drawn to die into something higher.
Until then you are living on low-voltage only, which manages only survival, but with no transformation possibility.
Insights on Energy, Resonance, and Human Connection
— Energy is subjective: What feels like high or low energy is relative to one’s own lifetime experiences.
— Imagination as amplifier: It can intensify both joy and suffering by multiplying aspects of memory and emotion.
— Social interaction as catalyst: Without engagement with other beings, human or otherwise, a vital dimension of energetic activation remains dormant.
— Connection through commonality: Resonance arises most easily when there’s a shared “frequency”, a common denominator of experience, emotion, or intention.
— Alienation through uniqueness: When one’s energetic makeup is radically different from others, this can lead to a feeling of deep existential disconnection.
— Unconscious systems dominate: Most of what drives attraction, resonance, and energetic interplay operates beneath conscious awareness, within the “90%” of the unconscious system.
— Resonance ≠ alignment of intention: Two people may deeply resonate due to shared trauma or experience, yet be repelled if their responses to that experience diverge e.g., one seeks closure through compartmentalization and forward motion, while the other seeks total understanding and transcendence through full confrontation and deconstruction. Resonance alone does not ensure relational harmony.
Illusion of infinite need that comes from intensity of deprivation
When we are extremely thirsty,
If we just go by the perceived feeling,
We’d feel we want to buy a tanker of water,
But really we might at most need a jar of water to get fully satisfied.
It is sometimes surprising how just a little of something can be enough,
Even when it comes to abstract needs like connection, belonging, recognition etc.
The reason behind our experience of free will
We think we have free will because we are blind in the time dimension.
We only rely on the computation using ‘present moment perception’ and ‘stored memory of the past’ to take decisions that would shape our future.
But if we could see into the time dimension itself, then no such thing as a ‘free-will’ experience would exist.
This is wonderfully captured in the movie ‘Arrival’.
Journey to the Abstract 