About love, truth, and transformation

Love can be about:
# Others’ seeing your value
# OR you seeing others’ value.
The received love = creates outer success (2c, c = chakra)
Your feeling love and connecting everything to god = inner success (4c)

Generally you receive love, only when you radiate love.
Because really love is ONE.
When you are ONE with love, then others loving you is from their own recognition of that love field.
It is the same archetype that everyone has the potential to recognize and be.

When you are one with what you desire, then that attracts all the others who desire the same.
Because desire in its essence is the very potential, that takes you to your true self.
Desire in its essence is desire for truth itself.
And truth is ONE.
Everyone has a longing for truth, and can recognize this, and are attracted to it.

Love and Truth are synonymous.
Love is Truth and Truth is Love.
You aligning with your truth, simultaneously aligns you to the truth of all that exists.
That is why Buddha said that when he got enlightened, at that very moment all of existence got enlightened.
Because our experience is holographic and fractal in nature.

Talking about it, without fully being it, is one thing —-vs—- Being it fully and then speaking about it is another
When you talk about it, often, it is like you are also trying to sell the idea to yourself.
That is also beautiful in its own way, but it lacks the power of the latter.
It will lack the power and sheer intensity of a fully integrated being doing the same.
The words will lack power, because in such a case, ALL OF YOU is not standing behind it.
You sabotage your own words/actions, from your lack of integration.
Power = Comes from integration and structure.
Without full integration, your every step is only a quarter or half step and the other parts resist each step.

So the whole sadhana is to be the total perfected instrument, of what you truly value.
This process may lead one to a dark night of the soul (dnos).
Transformation = To fall into total chaos, in order for the higher order to emerge.
Consciousness is always of the chaos first.
One is witness to the alchemy and transformation, and one also plays an active hand (or resists) in the process (the short path – dnos) -> but the process goes on anyway because that is your own deeper desire.
You long to be transformed, and the process is simply a reflection of that longing carrying you to your destination.

Enlightenment is recognition

Realization is the same as recognition.
There is only recognition in experience.
Your experience is bathed in recognition.
All is recognized by you, all is known by you, all is in your memory.
Experience itself is from the ongoing recognition.

You will know it,
when you are ready to know,
when you are willing to know,
when you are dying to know,
when you remove all the obstacles that are prevent you from knowing.

Just look at something deeply, and open yourself to it, the revelation will pour in.
You don’t have to try, rather you should simply remove the obstacles to the communion.
You just have to open to it, to receive it.
Look at all your hatred, attachments, fears, expectations, imposed preconceived ideas.
Drop all of that, because it is those preoccupations that are preventing you from receiving.

The pure intention to know something, and when it is not blocked by anything, will make you know the thing in its full entirety, because you are only clearing the way for your own remembering (re-membering, meaning receiving/putting the pieces together, and gaining gnosis).

The whole moves the whole

Peintures

The whole moves the whole (truth)
No part moves the whole (illusion of agency)
No part moves another part (illusion of causation)
The whole has no history (story/narrative illusion)
It is ever refreshing, ever renewing (dance of the ONE)
The whole is alive (I am aliveness)

Inverted pyramid of context awareness

inverted pyramid

Enlightenment is the shifting of identification to the higher context of the formless whole.
To explain what I mean by context, say a kid of age 3 bumps his head against a table top.
He immediately starts crying and the pain is felt and experienced as all-encompassing.
Now, imagine an adult of age 40, goes through a similar experience by bumping his head against a wall.
The pain itself would be quite similar, however, the adult would quickly rub his head with a short exclaim, and continue about his business.
What is the difference really between the experience of the child and the adult?
I would say the pain experience is similar, but the world of a difference is in the CONTEXT (in awareness) in which the experience occurs.
The adult views/interprets the experience in a much much larger context compared to the child.
So accordingly the event is relatively non-meaningful and non-salient, compared to how the child experienced it.

Another metaphor I like to use, is to refer to the breath/depth of context as “Aperture of consciousness”.
When the aperture is super wide, one has the experience of satori and bliss.
When the aperture is really narrow, one is deeply fixated in a narrow frame.
A silent mind, silent heart/emotion, silent body would imply a super wide aperture. (by silence I do not mean forced silence, but natural silence that is an outcome of the full and total processing of all experience in each domain)
An example of a super narrow aperture would be, if say a wild animal is in your living room. Suddenly all of your context shrinks into just the thought of that wild animal and your fight/flight/freeze response to it.

There are infinite awakenings

While taking a walk in the street, I felt a lot of fear.
I felt like this fear energy was obscuring/constricting/clumping my awareness greatly.
I felt like I was looking at reality through the dream of my fear.
Like if I could somehow take off the goggles of fear from my eyes, I would see reality as it really is.
This is spoken about a lot in the enlightenment circles, that you would see reality AS IT IS once the dream of the personal-self/ego disappears.

However I thought more deeply on this, and this did not seem to jibe with my experience.
A dream is real while it lasts, and it is the only reality until it lasts.
So what I was doing, was creating an abstract imagination of what ACTUAL REALITY would be like behind my dream structure of fear.
This was a mental object in my awareness – let’s call it [—Abstract ‘Actual’ reality–>>]
Then there was the [Sensory fear reality] object in my awareness, which included all the sights, sounds, and sensations of fear.
I called the [Sensory fear reality] object = Dream
And I called the [—Abstract ‘Actual’ reality–>>] object = Awakened reality (which is not an defined object, but more like a DIRECTION object]

[Direction Object = It is a term coined by me.
It is the extrapolation of a quality, it does not have an end, it is similar to a direction vector with arrows. For instance, I ask you to imagine an object infinitely far away from you. How would you imagine it? Think of some distance and keep stretching it out till you can hold it in your mind? That would be a direction object of imagination.
Compared to ordinary objects like body sensations etc.(vipassana parlance), direction objects are higher dimensional objects because they involve applying a transformation on a certain quality indefinitely and holding that in your mind space as a higher-object.]


So in the ONE awareness, I created 2 objects, and the practice I was doing was applying the [—Abstract ‘Actual’ reality–>>] direction-object/transformer-object on my [sensory fear reality] object as a SPIRITUAL PRACTICE.
So in a much larger perspective, I DREAMED(notice the caps) up 2 objects ‘dream and actual reality’ and the ‘effort of moving towards the actual reality from my dream position’.
Now again, if I sum up all this activity into a DREAM(caps), then again I am implying there is a reality beyond this DREAM(caps).
Then again there will be one more abstract imagination object created which would POINT TO a reality even beyond this DREAM.

This is a sort of recursive infinite loop.
It could be represented like this:
…dream5[awakenedReality4[dream3[awakenedReality2[dream1…]…]…]…]…

So there are infinite awakenings is what I am coming at.
It is not that you transcend your egoic dream and then awaken into nirvana and its OVER forever.
That is just one context.
Again there is the same recursion of contexts:
…context3[context2[context1…]…]…]…

I AM …THAT…

infinity-art-2-thumb-475x346-243418-660x280

I am not the following:
space, time, avatar, 6th density being, infj, wanderer, imagineer, realist, practicalist, wordly, other-worldly, dreamy, immanent, abstract, literal, metaphoric, son of god, god, sun, moon, healer, mystic, traveler of worlds, psychonaut, loner, lover, hater, socialite, good, bad, proud, humble, mystical, cooperative, competitive, technie, citizen, warrior, genius, vague, clear, fog, bright, dull, dark, life, death, creation, destruction, black, white…
I am none of the concept-association-meaning-infused-worlds.
All meaning worlds appear in me.
Even great integrative life-near super meta-concept worlds appear in me.

All of this, appears in me, and as me, and it is me, and not me too, because I am infinitely greater than any one formation.
My mind is like tape playing linearly in time, various formations, one at a time.
They are all plays in the realm/screen I call my mind.
The part of me outside of this grand mind screen, the dimension above, is learning that “I AM NOT” deeper and deeper, and this understanding is gradually getting infused and pervading my mind-dimension experiences too.
This higher knowledge is organically and gradually infusing and spreading.

The knowledge of “I AM NOT” is the greatest knowledge I can ever possess.
Another way to describe this would be:
I am the MIRROR, whatever appears is me, but I am eternally free of my reflection images.
I am “Infinite unborn potential & the Infinite born manifest”.
“All is Empty”, “All is a form within me”, “I am the formless containing all the forms”, “I am the infinite nothing that contains all possible somethings”.
But whatever I say I am, I am narrowing the infinite I am down to that conception (This conception might be incredibly inclusive and vast, but it still excludes the equally vast pole/world of its opposite).
For instance, even if I say I am the universe as an assertion, then what about the infinite non-universe/beyond-universe?
So, no thing/word/concept/idea/thought/world defines me.
“I AM THE CREATOR AND DESTROYER OF ALL WORLDS”
“I AM BEYOND and INSIDE/WITHIN”
“I AM TRANSCENDENCE and IMMANENCE”

“I AM…THAT…”

Contemplation on the unity of opposites

Structuring vs. De-structuring Forces
Good vs. Evil
Right vs. Wrong
Positive vs. Negative
Day vs. Night
Solid vs. Emptiness
Something vs. Nothing
White vs. Black
Improving vs. Degenerating
Existence vs. Non-existence
Birth vs. Death
Known vs. Unknown
Past vs. Future
Voluntary vs. Involuntary
Doing vs. Happening
Inbreath vs. Outbreath
Self vs. Other