The whole moves the whole

Peintures

The whole moves the whole (truth)
No part moves the whole (illusion of agency)
No part moves another part (illusion of causation)
The whole has no history (story/narrative illusion)
It is ever refreshing, ever renewing (dance of the ONE)
The whole is alive (I am aliveness)

Inverted pyramid of context awareness

inverted pyramid

Enlightenment is the shifting of identification to the higher context of the formless whole.
To explain what I mean by context, say a kid of age 3 bumps his head against a table top.
He immediately starts crying and the pain is felt and experienced as all-encompassing.
Now, imagine an adult of age 40, goes through a similar experience by bumping his head against a wall.
The pain itself would be quite similar, however, the adult would quickly rub his head with a short exclaim, and continue about his business.
What is the difference really between the experience of the child and the adult?
I would say the pain experience is similar, but the world of a difference is in the CONTEXT (in awareness) in which the experience occurs.
The adult views/interprets the experience in a much much larger context compared to the child.
So accordingly the event is relatively non-meaningful and non-salient, compared to how the child experienced it.

Another metaphor I like to use, is to refer to the breath/depth of context as “Aperture of consciousness”.
When the aperture is super wide, one has the experience of satori and bliss.
When the aperture is really narrow, one is deeply fixated in a narrow frame.
A silent mind, silent heart/emotion, silent body would imply a super wide aperture. (by silence I do not mean forced silence, but natural silence that is an outcome of the full and total processing of all experience in each domain)
An example of a super narrow aperture would be, if say a wild animal is in your living room. Suddenly all of your context shrinks into just the thought of that wild animal and your fight/flight/freeze response to it.

There are infinite awakenings

While taking a walk in the street, I felt a lot of fear.
I felt like this fear energy was obscuring/constricting/clumping my awareness greatly.
I felt like I was looking at reality through the dream of my fear.
Like if I could somehow take off the goggles of fear from my eyes, I would see reality as it really is.
This is spoken about a lot in the enlightenment circles, that you would see reality AS IT IS once the dream of the personal-self/ego disappears.

However I thought more deeply on this, and this did not seem to jibe with my experience.
A dream is real while it lasts, and it is the only reality until it lasts.
So what I was doing, was creating an abstract imagination of what ACTUAL REALITY would be like behind my dream structure of fear.
This was a mental object in my awareness – let’s call it [—Abstract ‘Actual’ reality–>>]
Then there was the [Sensory fear reality] object in my awareness, which included all the sights, sounds, and sensations of fear.
I called the [Sensory fear reality] object = Dream
And I called the [—Abstract ‘Actual’ reality–>>] object = Awakened reality (which is not an defined object, but more like a DIRECTION object]

[Direction Object = It is a term coined by me.
It is the extrapolation of a quality, it does not have an end, it is similar to a direction vector with arrows. For instance, I ask you to imagine an object infinitely far away from you. How would you imagine it? Think of some distance and keep stretching it out till you can hold it in your mind? That would be a direction object of imagination.
Compared to ordinary objects like body sensations etc.(vipassana parlance), direction objects are higher dimensional objects because they involve applying a transformation on a certain quality indefinitely and holding that in your mind space as a higher-object.]


So in the ONE awareness, I created 2 objects, and the practice I was doing was applying the [—Abstract ‘Actual’ reality–>>] direction-object/transformer-object on my [sensory fear reality] object as a SPIRITUAL PRACTICE.
So in a much larger perspective, I DREAMED(notice the caps) up 2 objects ‘dream and actual reality’ and the ‘effort of moving towards the actual reality from my dream position’.
Now again, if I sum up all this activity into a DREAM(caps), then again I am implying there is a reality beyond this DREAM(caps).
Then again there will be one more abstract imagination object created which would POINT TO a reality even beyond this DREAM.

This is a sort of recursive infinite loop.
It could be represented like this:
…dream5[awakenedReality4[dream3[awakenedReality2[dream1…]…]…]…]…

So there are infinite awakenings is what I am coming at.
It is not that you transcend your egoic dream and then awaken into nirvana and its OVER forever.
That is just one context.
Again there is the same recursion of contexts:
…context3[context2[context1…]…]…]…

I AM …THAT…

infinity-art-2-thumb-475x346-243418-660x280

I am not the following:
space, time, avatar, 6th density being, infj, wanderer, imagineer, realist, practicalist, wordly, other-worldly, dreamy, immanent, abstract, literal, metaphoric, son of god, god, sun, moon, healer, mystic, traveler of worlds, psychonaut, loner, lover, hater, socialite, good, bad, proud, humble, mystical, cooperative, competitive, technie, citizen, warrior, genius, vague, clear, fog, bright, dull, dark, life, death, creation, destruction, black, white…
I am none of the concept-association-meaning-infused-worlds.
All meaning worlds appear in me.
Even great integrative life-near super meta-concept worlds appear in me.

All of this, appears in me, and as me, and it is me, and not me too, because I am infinitely greater than any one formation.
My mind is like tape playing linearly in time, various formations, one at a time.
They are all plays in the realm/screen I call my mind.
The part of me outside of this grand mind screen, the dimension above, is learning that “I AM NOT” deeper and deeper, and this understanding is gradually getting infused and pervading my mind-dimension experiences too.
This higher knowledge is organically and gradually infusing and spreading.

The knowledge of “I AM NOT” is the greatest knowledge I can ever possess.
Another way to describe this would be:
I am the MIRROR, whatever appears is me, but I am eternally free of my reflection images.
I am “Infinite unborn potential & the Infinite born manifest”.
“All is Empty”, “All is a form within me”, “I am the formless containing all the forms”, “I am the infinite nothing that contains all possible somethings”.
But whatever I say I am, I am narrowing the infinite I am down to that conception (This conception might be incredibly inclusive and vast, but it still excludes the equally vast pole/world of its opposite).
For instance, even if I say I am the universe as an assertion, then what about the infinite non-universe/beyond-universe?
So, no thing/word/concept/idea/thought/world defines me.
“I AM THE CREATOR AND DESTROYER OF ALL WORLDS”
“I AM BEYOND and INSIDE/WITHIN”
“I AM TRANSCENDENCE and IMMANENCE”

“I AM…THAT…”

Contemplation on the unity of opposites

Structuring vs. De-structuring Forces
Good vs. Evil
Right vs. Wrong
Positive vs. Negative
Day vs. Night
Solid vs. Emptiness
Something vs. Nothing
White vs. Black
Improving vs. Degenerating
Existence vs. Non-existence
Birth vs. Death
Known vs. Unknown
Past vs. Future
Voluntary vs. Involuntary
Doing vs. Happening
Inbreath vs. Outbreath
Self vs. Other

Following the Desire to change something never works

My desires and emotions are giving me a message about reality like “mathematics”.
I will listen to that directly without “resistance” or “desire to change it”.
“Desire to change something” is always a “Reaction” and not an “Action”.
This can be understood, by looking at “Forces” and Structures”
( Martial arts clearly demonstrates this principle in a tangible physical manner
Here is a wing-chun video that demonstrates this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r85CAAxJfQ )
A structure generates force, no structure = no force
So, desires and emotions are “forces” generated by an underlying “structure”.

The reality I experience is analogous to where I put my focus/attention.
When I INVEST in the DESIRE to change something, then I am investing my attention energy into the FORCE and not the STRUCTURE generating the force.
So as a result, I only become aware of the FORCE and the places it takes me to, and not of the structure itself that generated the force in the first place.
Consequently, the “STRUCTURE” which is the very thing I want to change, never enters my awareness (because I am too busy chasing the FORCE), and change is as a result – IMPOSSIBLE.

That is why Einstein said “A problem can never be solved at the level of consciousness in which it originated”.
Only transcending to a subtler level allows the structure to enter your awareness.

Letting go of the desire to change something, and BEING with the something, is the only way I can see the very structure and not get caught up by the paths created by the forces generated by the structure.

Causeless winds vs. effort(caused) winds

Are you following the divine effortless winds? OR creating winds via. egoic effort?
Often, when there is no divine wind, the ego puts efforts and generates winds to compensate for the emptiness created.
This has the flavor of [draining, suffering, effort, struggle, desperation, pushing].
Its as if you are depleting your reservoir.

Instead I intuit that, when there is no wind, ideally one should just sit, and move only if a causeless wind is present.
I would like to move only from the causeless, and not from any generated force from any structure. Because every structure is a reservoir of divine energy and this stored energy is depleted as the structure exerts its own force and generates winds.
– When you are generating force with belief and investment, you are generating karma.
– When you are generating force, but belief and investment is not there, then it has the background of emptiness and there is no karma. It is like a de-clutched car, still moving from the momentum and structures of winds but without a powering force.
– When you are not generating any force, and when all the modulator wind generating structures (samskharas) have been atrophied and dissolved to just point potentials, you rest in the causeless and are moved only by the causeless wind.

* Karma is nothing but Becoming
* Living in the causeless is like living without becoming anything
* Structures in your consciousness that I speak about, are like entities inhabiting your experience field, that collect divine energy, and then accordingly generate/modulate winds in your consciousness, seeking to grow their structure. They are like viruses that trap divine energy – when the sun shines – and then generate forces from this stored energy in order to further themselves. That is the principle of ego (which is the mothership structure) and samskharas basically.