Q&A on Dark night of the soul

A friend and I were discussing about the dark night of soul, and she asked some really interesting questions, which I pondered on, and then wrote her a reply.

Here is the Q&A:
Q1 – At what point does someone acknowledge the disorientation and start focusing more on integration than destruction…?
I can answer from my experience. (I’m gonna write a lot, bear with me 🙂 )
I think both the processes happen together in transformation, but the degree varies. Like to give an extreme example, if I explode a bomb in a region, the old in the region dies, while the new gets born.
Sounds good in principle.
The only issue is the new looks like a post-apocalypic dystopian ruin site.
It might take many years for there to be a steady pace of growth of structures in this region.

If we look at what is dying – it is the dark night, if we look at what is being born – it is rebirth. Although the higher principle of simultaneity is present, we also see distinct season like patterns. Like how in Buddhist vipassana practice they delineate stages of evolution, and the dark night basically falls under – greater awareness of death/passing, than of arising/growth.
The vice versa can happen too, once the death potential is complete like the swinging of a pendulum to one end and stopping because its momentum is finished (simplistic example of the pattern).

I feel there is something deeper and greater(the soul?) that matures through this mysterious birth-death process, like in my case, I feel there is a gradual increase of overall maturity, deeper knowledge and deepening of context intuition etc. which has helped ease the ride through these confusing states of being. So nowadays I do notice much better stability overall and a deeper trust and relaxation, and also a better knowing/apprehension/clarity/discernment of appearance.
Like how growing up happens, it is not a single experience that makes one an adult, but a series of mystical journeys and passages. Something really super mystical/deep/abstract/intuitive is evolving from all the passing experiences.

I think one can say the dark night has ended, when there is a noticeable swing in the opposite direction/upswing of life force/spirit? Maybe a crystallization of a new vision, a renewed vigor, hope, expansion, love etc.? It’s hard to be really precise though, I feel the dark night ends depending on your overall evaluation of your gestalt. Like when your system becomes emptier, fresher, harmonized and radiant with energy and allows you to expand? – I don’t know, I may be presenting new kinds of wishful fantasies and dreams here, but just trying to create art with my words, so that you can see through it? 🙂

Q2 – At what point does someone become comfortable with perpetual dismantling and generation so that it’s no longer a “dark night”
Hmm, yea, I can see what you are pointing to. Like there is the suffering component (all forms) and the process of death itself (endarkment). I would say technically the process is on until there is the upswing resurgence of spirit influx (like an inbreath), however, one may develop high enough equanimity and understanding in its later stages, that he can ride through the emptiness (meaning like what you described quick fast alternating cycles of discontinuous creations). Maybe growth could also mean the intensification of the discontinuous creativity until it swallows all of the observer, making observer-observed ONE. Like one may ask, to who is this dark night of soul happening to?, and this would point to a subject/observer structure, which may get further dissoluted when contemplating deeper on the subject of the experience.

At one point does one become comfortable? hmm, that is possible only if your energy output and structure transcends the fluctuations that are happening. And I feel the fluctuations that are happening are basically structures in your psyche dying out from spirit withdrawal. So once a LOT of the death processes are completed in the psyche structure, then it feels a lot clearer, brighter, fresher, emptier and this may increase available energy for fresh creativity too. So maybe at that point, a person would start to feel comfortable, like he/she/it rises above the suffering vs. being debilitated and disabled by it.

Q3 Is it possible that a fascination with the “dark night” and identification with it might complicate the surrender necessary to move through it
I can totally see your point. Yes, but I think the fascination with dark night is also a psyche structure. My methodology is – if you are fascinated, go all into it, so much that it completes/exhausts itself. Isn’t it like any other passion? and how do we get over passions? -> my method is usually I go all in and do it so totally, and experience it so fully and deeply that I transcend it. I think we identify with things, until we are bored. Boredom seems to be the real mover. And I feel boredom is an impetus for moving on/trying something new/flowing/reevaluating etc. It seems like the precursor of all passion/creativity. So yea, I would say: Give into your fascination, passion, curiosity, so fully, and satisfy yourself so deeply without an agenda, that you automatically ride the wave of spirit

My response to someone going through a dark night of the soul


In my experience I feel ALL is a dream.
A dream is real when it lasts, but it is totally unreal once it has passed.
I feel all of my life and experience has been this dream nature.
Neither can I point to a solid world, nor do I see a solid self.
The whole experience for me is just ‘alive spirit’ ranging from unimaginable suffering to unimaginable joy.
So not a DROP of this ‘dark night of the soul’ will be there once your dream shifts.
I have seen life plays hide and seek with me many times, and absolutely surprises me EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Even if NOTHING (absolutely nothing) is different in my life circumstance, suddenly I would feel really great sometimes.
At the same time, when the difficult time is present, it feels eternal and makes it impossible to access anything happy and removes even the vaguest conception of hope.
Life is like a milder psychedelic trip in my experience.
Although the experiences feel totally random and maddening, I feel something super deep is evolving from each of those experiences.
It is something like how a child grows up.
No one experience has made the child grow up, but rather it is the child living through 1000’s of mystical journeys after which it feels like an adult.
I feel the dark night is a journey into the unknown, like we keep bobbing in and out of the fire of the unknown, until deemed necessary.
Every experience is trans-formative in my opinion.
This is the fire of chaos(infinite potential), and I think you will come out of it as a higher dimensional entity – A Phoenix.
Also always remember:
“Nothing real can be threatened, Nothing unreal exists”

The beginning of the Dark Night of the Soul


The departure/fading of inspiration is the fading of the 7th chakra force (This is the feeling of being disconnected from God).
Each higher chakra has a subtler stronger force – like how ether is stronger than air, how air is stronger than fire, how fire is stronger than water, how water is stronger than food.
As inspiration fades, all the other chakras start collapsing like a melting painting until all of consciousness substance rests in the formless chaos ocean again.
One’s whole life dream fades back in the ocean once the inspiration is gone.
A new inspiration will then come as divine spark of rebirth – creating the beginning of a new wave.

Parable of the Girl Next Door

Imagine there is a girl-next door.
You initially meet her briefly, say hi, speak a few words.
She makes you feel excited, mesmerized and really spikes your curiosity.
Now, say you have a lot of other girlfriends – 100’s of them.
And say you meet different ones each day.
Sometimes you meet them in groups too.
Each of your other girlfriends have specific qualities to them that you admire.
The next day, you start to look forward to meeting the girl next door
You tap on her door, and wait for her.
Again you 2 chat up for a while, and you come back once again feeling captivated and fascinated.
Now, this goes on for a while, everyday you chat with her for a while and get back to your life.
As you get to know more about her, she only seems to get more mysterious and interesting.
Generally, when you get to know someone fully, you tend to lose interest.
But this girl is captivating you more and more each time.
You get drawn to her, entranced, and more and more excited to spend more time with her.
You steadily increase the time you spend with her.
You spend hours at her house each day and it is never boring.
Eventually, you start to drop all your other engagements too with all your other girlfriends more and more.
This girl next door has all the qualities of your other girl friends and much much more.
She is a rich mystery, a plenitude, and always escapes your understanding.
After a while, you start to drop EVERYTHING, and spend all your waking time with her.
You even leave your own house, you leave all of your other girlfriends, everything.
All you want to do is spend time with her and invest everything you have got in her – your heart, mind, soul, body.
She is everything that you can possibly conceive of, or imagine, and yet much much more.
Everytime you try to understand her, it is like gold slipping through your fingers, you just cannot grasp it.
There is nothing you want to do, besides being with her totally all the time.
You want to merge with her, you want to become her, you want to become all that she is.
She is mesmerizing beyond your wildest dreams, and you are ready to lay down everything for her.
You spend 24×7 of your time with her now.
She is your all-encompassing absorption and trance.
Now you ask her to merge you into her.
She swallows you in her embrace.
You feel the increasing pain of your dissolution, as you are being absorbed into her body.
You feel you are losing yourself, your mind space is filled with the smoke of grief.
You are blinded, you cannot see anything.
But yet, you hold on even more, and you want her to absorb you into her.
You know she is a million times greater/grander/vaster/richer than anything you could ever be.
Your only desire is to union with her.
She pulls you in even tighter, and you give in more and more.
And finally you are absorbed into her and now you are ‘her’.
You live as her, experience as she does, and see as she does.

The spiritual path is very similar.
Here, you are the separate self/ego.
The girl-next door is the transcendent spirit object and your source.
The other girl-friends you have are all your other worldly desires/passions/interests/ambitions/hobbies.
The love affair that you have with the girl next door is the spiritual quest.
When you ask her to embrace you and absorb you into her – it is the Dark Night of the Soul.
When you finally fully merge into her, and start seeing from her eyes – you are the spirit itself.