Tag: Consciousness

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The inspiration from the void takes form

Inspiration is basically potential energy.
From the void, an inspiration takes a form,
And when the inspiration has completed its surge/influx,
The form drops back/returns to the ground of being/void.

Every in-breath is from an inspiration.
It reaches its cresendo/peak,
And then there is a full emptying of all that was gathered.
One then abides in the emptiness of breath,
Until the next wave of inspiration happens.

Like the milk getting heated from the flame of inspiration,
And swelling from that,
And when the flame of inspiration goes off,
The milk swell starts to lower, until it is level again.

Inspiration I feel is ever present like the air.
But I think it is the limitation of our form,
That it can only draw/hold so much before stopping all further reception,
And needing to empty first.

Existence in this form is therefore a duality,
Of the alternation of filling and emptying.

In theistic terms, when they say
‘god loves you’ Or ‘connect with love’,
I think it essentially means,
You are connecting with the energy that inspired your form.

So every form is from an inspiration.
It could however be in the process of waxing or waning.
Every form is an expression of a certain potential/possibility.
Life is this influx into form,
And Death is the return to the void.
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Identity, Desire, and Memory

‘Identity’ with ‘Memory’ spawns ‘Desire’.
Memories are like accumulations.
They can be at different levels.
They add on top of each other like a multi-storey building

Our original identity is “LIFE/SPIRIT”,
The formless intelligence that simply IS (Pure being).
This identity then mixed with memory at various levels.
Pure Life/Spirit channeled through [Identity with Memory] = Spawns Desire/Force.
Like how electricity is first channeled through your laptop power supply,
And then through all the laptop’s hardware produces its output.

RULE: All force is generated through structure.
So every structure, when identified with, empowers it with spirit,
And spirit begins functioning THROUGH that structure, manifesting as desire/force.
Desire therefore can be seen as a modification of spirit passing through a memory/structure due to identification with it.

Approximately here are the different levels of memory:
(Identifications with these memories can build on top of each other,
And create corr. desire forces)

Spirit/life = true identity (operates at a level of freedom outside memory)
***
M1 = Soul karmic memory = Desire 1(D1)
M2 = Evolutionary memory = Desire 2(D2)
M3 = Cultural/Ancestry-Genetic memory = Desire 3(D3)
M4 = Family/Social Conditioning memory = Desire 4(D4)
***
M5 = Personality memory = Desire 5(D5)
M6 = Mental memory = Desire 6(D6)
M7 = Emotional memory = Desire 7(D7)
M8 = Sensory memory = Desire 8(D8)

So if [M1+M2+M3+M4+M5+M6+M7] are identified with,
Then spirit operates through all those structs,
And you get the conscious desire of D8.

Alternatively, if [M1+M2+M3+M4+M5] are identified with,
Then spirit operates through all of those,
Giving you the conscious desire of D6.

In degree of vastness,
D1 is infinitely vaster than D6.
Every subsequent desire is nested in its higher desire as a possibility.
You can say [M1,D1], [M2,D2] etc. are [structure->forces] residing in their corresponding dimensions.
The entire lower dimension is from one of the structures in the higher dimension.

The dimensions are linked like a chain.
Coming from the source [which is life/spirit],
And building up from M1 to M8, like a multi-storey building.

All transformation is from the intervention of a higher dimension on a lower one,
And this goes on until we finally reach the unfathomable identification with infinite intelligence/life/spirit/pure consciousness itself.
Once this station has been reached,
It sets all of the other dimensions completely free.

Your freedom, degree of freedom, or potential for freedom,
Depends on which dimension your conscious identity is residing in.
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The burning of karma

bonfire

Our experience has 2 components:
# A cyclic-physical component
# A non-cyclic intelligence component
The non-cyclic intelligence is like the fire of consciousness/awareness.
The cyclic-physical portion is what we call birth and death of the body-mind.
The residue of all the countless lives lived in the past,
Or time spent in different planes,
Keeps gathering as samskharas/tendencies in us.
So the fires of our current life rotate around these stored memories/patterns/imprints.
Just the experience of everyday living is coming from this fire burning up this karmic collection.

If we want to be truly liberated,
We have to raise the pitch and intensity of this fire of consciousness.
So that it burns like a bonfire.
This intensity of fire would then consume the karmic material at a much higher pace.
All that would have happened to you in many years, happens in a month or weeks say.
Experience happens with great intensity, including both sufferings and joys.
Life experience is then on fast forward.
Everything is a blur and whizzing past.

This raising of the pitch/intensity of the fire of consciousness,
Happens naturally as the longing to transcend deepens.
This longing naturally happens as a consequence,
Of our own ripeness, maturity, and level of evolution/development.
This then naturally increases the speed and intensity of our life experience,
As a result of this fire burning larger and stronger.

Eventually this fire consumes everything,
All your stored residues,
And you will be liberated.
You would then identify with the fire rather than the material it was burning through.
This identification slowly shifts as the process commences.
Initially you are identified with the material and feel there is also a fire present.
But eventually the fire gets more and more strong, and this causes a fundamental shift in identification.
You start to experience yourself as the fire itself more and more,
A deepening of this identity shift keeps happening,
Until finally, only the fire remains.
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VR analogy for Turiya

In Vedanta,
There are the following different states of consciousness:
# Turiya
# Deep sleep = Turiya + Deep sleep
# Dreaming = Turiya + Deep sleep + Dreaming
# Waking = Turiya + Deep sleep + Dreaming + Waking

Turiya is not really a state,
But it is the transcendent reality,
That underlies all the 3 states,
Of waking, dreaming, sleeping.

A great way to experientially imagine this,
Is to take the analogy of a VR headset.
You are Turiya.
You first wear the VR headset ‘switched off’ on your head first = Deep sleep
Say the VR headset cycles through these 3 states of:
# Being switched off = Deep sleep
# Movie mode = Dream
# ‘First person’ avatar game mode = Waking
Let’s imagine there are 2 screens on the VR:
# The screen closer to your eye is the movie screen.
# The screen farther away from your eye is the game screen.

The 2 can play simultaneously also, but generally,
When the game screen is switched on,
The movie screen turns translucent,
And serves as a sort of AR (augmented reality) for the game screen.

Imagine you forgot you were wearing this headset,
And got immersed into the game screen appearance,
Then you will believe the game world shown on it is the ground reality.
Supposing you snapped out of the trance,
And realized you were wearing the headset,
This real you that woke up to this is ‘Turiya’.
The VR headset still cycles between being switched off, movie mode, and game mode.
However now the real you is awake behind all of these states.

Imagine trying to convince another avatar in the game mode,
That he is actually another person like you wearing the headset.
How would you go about it?
Whatever he points to in that VR game world,
And even his avatar body, would have nothing to do with what you are trying to point at.

Similarly the other implication of this analogy would be that:
If you went to deep sleep in the game mode for the other players,
It means your headset is in its turned off state.
The real you wearing the headset is still awake.
However, since your headset is switched off, you would receive no information from the VR game world.
Other players would find you motionless/asleep/dead.
And even if they waved at you from within the game,
You would not receive that.
But however the real you, is still awake,
Just observing the blankness of the switched off screen.
This real you that is transcendent of the VR headset and its simulated worlds = Turiya.
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A short description of my experience

I experience life itself like a dream.
Where there is total subjectivity.
And “everything” could change into anything.
Absolutely malleable/changeable.
The “props” of my external environment may remain the same,
But the “dance” is in my body chemistry,
That can change the “entire relationship” I have with everything,
i.e. all of my thoughts/emotions/moods/feelings/perspectives/vision/projections etc.

Drugs really reveal this secret all too well,
That body chemistry shapes a tremendous/extraordinary amount of all of our experience.
Like esp. with marijuana and psychedelics, the alteration is phenomenal.
Chemistry and perception have a phenomenal correlation.
It can alter even time, space, and my whole vision about everything.
The body is like the million-chemical factory,
Controlled by forces from a higher dimension? (soul/karma/vasanas/engrams/samskharas/causal realm seed?)
Which are in turn controlled by the collective soul/collective karma/solar-system as a logos with planetary sub-logos etc.?

The only stable ground I see is ‘consciousness’.
That is the only certainty/ground I feel.
Everything else is super changeable in my experience,
Anything and everything can dramatically shift.
So there is a weaning out and a profound detachment that is deepening as this process is happening.
Sometimes I lose all energy, coherence, and suffer the dark night of soul,
Going through a hyper-negative sensitivity to everything,
In the cesspit of my wretchedness, despair, depression, reactivity, contradictions, confusions, paradoxes, frustrations, sufferings.
Like falling into the valley/pit of sorrow/miseries/pain.
Other times I come back with a bang, rise up to the mountains,
And regain coherence/meaning/purpose/direction/clarity with a sense of euphoria/insight/joy/beatitude.

I find the greatest/ultimate rejuventator for me is “SLEEP”.
Every “sleep” gives me a new lease of life.
Each day is a new life.
I live day to day, taking each new day as a life in and of itself.
My whole lifespan 85 years say,
Is really the aggregate of ~31100 sub-lives.
Every day I wake up to brave a new mystery/a new paradigm/a new context,
And by the night I am totally pooked/in deep fatigue.

My experience is like endless alternations of,
Coherence/Harmony/Purpose/Meaning –and– Confusion/Chaos/Suffering/Meaningless
Like mountain -> valley -> mountain -> valley…..and so on.
A constant agonizing alternation between ecstasy and depression.
With wild fluctuations in the influx and deflux of spirit.
My whole being is just an instrument that serves and abides in this mystery,
And rides its waves and dance.
I feel like i’m living in a constant Bardo realm,
With a very tenuous connect with the earth and body.

Like an endless fall into the abyss that will maybe drop me off in the next dimension.
Like being eaten by a Whale, and digested alive inside its stomach.
But maybe a day will come where I will open my eyes to the world again, not as me, but as the Whale,
And see through the Whale’s eyes and live in and as its being,
That has absorbed my essence into its.

The only one thing I desire is “spirit”.
I’ve narrowed it down to that after discriminating through all these extreme shifts.
When I am filled with spirit, life is wonderful.
In the absence of spirit, I am in deep agony.
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The state of unconditional allowing

Colors Disco Ball

I feel like I am not yet born,
I feel like an endless work in progress,
I feel like this life is like a dream in the birth waters.
I feel like I am ceaselessly being transformed.

All the experiences, of heaven and hell, pass through me.
Like a spherical mirror that travels everywhere and reflects everything,
But holds nothing, and stays ever-pure in its essence.

The only thing I have to do is to let everything pass through.
Let the winds efface the sand sculptures.
Let the water waves efface the sand castles.
Let me be done and undone by the flows of all elements.
Each of the various realms/worlds/planes,
Will give bodies and reabsorb bodies as their play.
I am the ultimate dis-identified witness, watching the play.
The colorless light of the Ajna.

In a state of unconditional allowing I am free.
Simply free to fully live.
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Ajna Vision: There is only light and darkness

Life = Agni(Fire) = Spirit = Consciousness.
This is the only treasure, the first and the last, the one and only, the ultimate gift.

The world is infinite,
There are infinite worlds,
Infinite other beings/people/animals/life forms,
Infinite planes with infinite activities,
Infinite content springing forth all the time.
But only what you perceive is your experience,
And what you perceive is from your Agni/Life/Spirit.

It feels like so much complexity is happening,
But when I really see the essence piercingly,
I see that really it is only my dream,
That “appears and vanishes”,
Depending on the “infux and deflux” of life/spirit/agni into me,
Happening everyday in me taking the appearance of wake and sleep.

There is just an alternation of light and darkness, nothing else.
The complexities of each day are a play of the projector-light like a movie.
Either the projector is on or off, creating light and darkness,
That’s all I see from this depth.
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Change and Death

Generally we think of death as an event,
But really, when we look into our experience,
We see, all change = death.
Total change = Total death.
And the change is in the contents of consciousness.
Total death = Total newness/total rejuvenation.
So every death is also a rejuvenation.
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Yin and Yang of life and about myself

In the initial phase of our lives, we are totally yin (like sponge).
In the later phase of our lives, we become yang.
That is the transition.
That is the cycle:
# Absorption -> Emission.
# From taking -> to giving.
# We prepare to join society in the initial part of our lives. -> And then join society and yang in the next part of our life.
That is how society views us anyways from its perspective.
That is why it is set that:
# 0-25 = Education
# 25-60 = Work
[My body’s survival/thriving depends on all the physical forces.
My mental survival/thriving depends on all the mental forces.]

But what I have learned is beyond society -> And what I want to give is beyond society.
I work on enriching, illuminating, and healing souls.
About myself:
# During my yin = I have seen far more.
# And now in my yang = I want to give back far more than society can see.
I have always had ethereal vision -> and now I have the capacity for ethereal action.
My home element is “ETHER” = the world of imagination/magic/states of consciousness/vibes/music/feels.
The 5c circuit(from 8 circuit model of consciousness – Timothy Leary) was my starting and home.

My identity has always stayed transcendent of the 1st 4 circuits:
# Instinctive
# Dom-sub/pleasure-pain
# Mental(reality tunnels)
# Socio-sexual circuit
For me, my Yang was greatly suppressed in my interaction with society/world.
That is why I live like a hermit.
Because really I am a transformer.
And society is not exactly at a Renaissance to welcome me in -> It has from day 1 opposed me.
This is my deep breath(in and out) in this plane of existence on earth.
# A deep inbreath in the first part of my life until 31 (0-30 = 30 years)
# A full outbreath in the second part of my life until maybe my death at 80 (30-80 = 50 years)

The true situation I feel I am in is like:
# Life of a pi – Boy vs wild animals
# Country of the blind – Man with eyes vs. blind village
# Jungle book kind of situation – Mogli with the forest animals.
# I am legend – A single man surrounded by million zombies everywhere.
# Planet of the apes – The apes civilization dominating and marginalizing everyone else.
# Like members outside the Matrix – Morpheus, neo, trinity, and other crew members.
# Like Elsa in Frozen – Living in the ice palace far away.
These analogies are a bit exaggerated, but they help to convey the way I have always felt.

(c = chakra)
# My true identity = 7c = the potential/unmanifest field.
# My Yin = 6c perception = mother
# My Yang = 5c writing/speaking/sharing = father
I live in the supernal triad of the soul = I have always lived with great contact with soul consciousness.
The dark night of the soul is: Really my true identity in 7c bringing me back home to itself from being lost in the 6c imagination.

Whatever I present to society, must be on its terms, else its members will not take it, and may even attack/marginalize me.
I have no duty or anything towards society, that is all a lie told from society’s perspective which pulls all people by its strong gravity of guilt/responsibility etc. -> it is all lies.
The greatest gift I have to offer is my own vision, integration, and natural unfolding.
I will be a celebration of my own nature, and if society wants a part of it, I will joyfully share it.
Else I will happily live in a hermetic way till the end of my life.