What inspiration experientially feels like

Breathe out completely and hold.
Do not breathe in again immediately.
Wait for about 10 seconds (or whatever time suits you),
Until you feel a strong urge brimming inside you to take the next inbreath.
Now just give in to that urge,
And let it carry you all the way as you take an inbreath,
Until you are filled with the satisfaction of fulfilling that.
Feel the fulfillment and satisfaction of that process of letting the urge carry you all the way.
After that, once again you can breathe out and hold,
And go into another cycle of this, if you wish.

The inspiration is that upwelling and brimming of that urge to breathe in.
I have not found a more visceral, direct, tangible, and reproducible way to experience ‘inspiration’ itself.
Every inbreath in reality is from a influx of inspiration carrying you through it.
I have seen that esp. when doing multiple cycles of this,
Done with full focus, the inbreaths can get very pleasurable.
A feeling of ‘the magic breath’ happens.
It starts to feel like a deep immersive emotional experience.

The knowledge of death completely rewires you

Death is thought of as an event that happens in the far future.
Nobody even thinks about it, unless there is a real reason to.
Seeing death as an event, is from ignorance (maybe purposeful).
Death is not an event that suddenly happens in the far future.
Death as an experience is continually happening.
“Death is not an event, but death IS, just as life IS”
(borrowed from Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev).

One never steps in the same river twice.
Life experience is constantly transforming.
Knowledge of death or mortality is really knowledge of impermanence.
It is the truth of the statement: “This too shall pass”.
The nature of life is aliveness and change.
Life = spirit = novelty = miracle = change = aliveness = unknown = mystery.

Death is the knowledge of unbecoming that follows becoming.
Like the outbreath follows the inbreath.
So imagine breathing in more and more without letting out anything.
Eventually at one point, the tension will become so great,
You will just drop and let go of everything.
The nature of life is like the Breath.
We enter this planet, take on a body, project all of our emotions here.
We get deeply involved, and then later leave everything behind, and exit.
The cycle of [incarnation – death] like [inbreath – outbreath].

The knowledge of death is what breaks the spell of ordinary egoic life.
It is the great disillusionment.
It casts its shadow on all desires/dreams/plans.
The thought that comes is:
“What is the use of doing anything? OR becoming anything?
If it is all going to end in dust?
Why should I bother to fight for my survival and thrive?
If I am just going to be cheated and mocked in the end by death?”

This may create an existential crisis/dark night of soul/depression.
When the knowledge of death enters your vision.
If one allows this process to fully pass through,
They emerge on the other side transformed.
It is like how you digest food and get energy later,
The knowledge of death digests “you” and liberates you,
And you emerge as a phoenix from the ashes.

For the phoenix, life is lived in the “now/present”
The past is seen as present only, i.e. the past incarnating in the present.
The future is seen as imagination done in the present.
The phoenix lives with identification grounded in “formless life/aliveness” itself.
All else is seen as the play of life, “as form” and “with form”

Our body is of the earth and belongs to the earth

The body has various cycles:
Input cycles:
# Hunger cycles = EARTH ELEMENT
# Thirst cycles = WATER ELEMENT
# Sleep cycles = ETHER ELEMENT
# [Sights, Sounds] consumption cycles = FIRE ELEMENT
# In-breath cycling = AIR ELEMENT
Output cycles:
# Poop cycles = EARTH ELEMENT
# Urine, Sexual cycles = WATER ELEMENT
# Exercise/Activity cycles = FIRE ELEMENT
# Out-breath cycling = AIR ELEMENT
# Waking state awareness cycles = ETHER ELEMENT
The elements part may not be exact, but I used my intuitive feel to arrive at them.

The body belongs to the earth, and is made up of the earth.
It is an organic machine, built from the elements of the earth, and on death, this entire body machine will be returned to the earth (which will cycle the elements back into itself).
The body emerges from the earth, gathers earth elements onto itself and grows, maintains and renews itself periodically from various elemental transactions with the earth, and then once its time is over, the earth reabsorbs the body back into itself.
The mothers womb provides the initial body as a template, that then separates from the mother, gathers on the elements (what we call growth), and then stabilizes itself in transaction with the elements of the earth.
“On death, the earth will take back the body, atom by atom” – Sadhguru
I have heard Sadhguru(Jaggi Vasudev) on Youtube speak about this topic many times, but only now I feel like I understand it more deeply.

So from the body’s perspective:
It cares about: food, water, sleep, sex, breathing, preservation.
Each of these activities give pleasure, but only as per the cycles.
The pleasure from the body is limited to the cycles only.
When you are hungry you can only eat until the hunger is satisfied, only till then will you get pleasure.
The same holds true for thirst, sex, and even the breath.
Breathing in is pleasure until you get full, breathing out is pleasure until you get empty.
Since all of the elemental transactions are in a cycle, neither can you preserve, nor can you indulge.
It is like your breath.
You can’t endlessly breathe in, neither can you endlessly breathe out.

In terms of source energy, the highest tangible conception of that for us, is the “Sun”.
But we can use only a fraction of that energy directly, and we need all its other stored forms available on earth to survive/thrive.
Sun -> Plants
Sun -> Plants -> Animals
Water -> stores the heat energy of the sun (else without the sun it would turn into ice).
And then we further cook the plant/animal material in fire, and then we have “energy and elements” in a form that we can easily consume.
The earth itself maintains its temperature from the sun.
The core of the earth is almost like a micro sun.
Human bodies are like the most developed neurons(brain nerve cells) of the earth.

Also with only one half of the earth facing the sun at any given point of time, and with the earth constantly rotating, it is always cycling through duality.
Though the sun(source) is ever present, ever radiant, it is eclipsed from influence and view during the night.
So I would think that is why, in the microcosm of our bodies too, we have the sleep and waking cycles which is a correlate to this macrocosmic duality.

Purification of the 7 chakras


Imagine a 7 cylinder engine (the analogy is not exact but it’s close).
If I want to get the maximum throughput from the engine, all the pistons must move completely through their full range of motion along their columns right?
Similarly, to optimally use cosmic energy, don’t our 7 chakras similarly need to work in their full capacity?
How do we clear/purify all our chakras so that they can work in their full capacity?
So I thought about this, and I felt – Just like we have the lung breath, don’t we also find a similar pattern in our other chakra functions too?
So I created a hypothesis for cleansing all the chakras.

Breath cycles for each “energy type”:

7C = energy of transcendence
Be completely focused on the transcendent/beyond -> Be completely focused on the world/known

6C = energy of consciousness
Be completely conscious when awake -> Be completely unconscious when asleep

5C = energy of expression/clarity
Talk/Write/Express fully -> Go into total silence fully

4C = energy of air/interest
Breathe in fully -> Breathe out fully

3C = energy of fire[food-to-energy transformation]
Eat fully -> Assimilate fully -> Eliminate fully

2C = energy of sexuality/emotions/energy of water
Arouse fully -> orgasm peak fully -> Relax fully
Drink water fully -> eliminate water fully

1C = energy of physical
Fully work out physical body -> fully relax physical body
(Move every muscle in the body during the work out.
Flex and relax every muscle in the body fully)

Insights today

1 – All that AFFECTS me about the outside world, people, situations etc. is MY SHADOW.
(That is why I am having deep resonance to those aspects/qualities that I witness outside, because those are in me too, and it is precisely that resonance that is causing the AFFECT).

2 – The ego is a protection against the SHADOW. The very reason the ego was created was to project the shadow and have various defenses against it.

3 – Viruses are subtle evil – parasitic organisms trying to survive, just like all evil is parasitic on the tree of life.

4 – “Deeper exhale for cleansing/emptying”, “Deeper inhale for inspiration/fullness”
Tip: Exhale until there is a full readiness to inhale. Inhale until there is a full readiness to exhale.

Prayer of a weary soul


[I] hand over my really tired, weak, and weary desireless exhausted [self] over to thee
There [is] an incredible amount of emptiness in [me]
[I’m] barely conscious
Like [I] have been fully knocked out
There [is] not much left in [me] to put up a fight or resist.
[I] can barely stand on my own feet, let alone walk
What [is] this deathly condition?
[I] feel heavy, encumbered, overwhelmed, paralyzed, burdened, weary and can barely keep my head up
[A] severe deficiency of will power/desire/energy
The viruses or entropic agents within are getting the better of me, and [I] have exhausted [my] fight now
[I] can no longer ward off this inevitable destruction
So [I] stop resisting and surrender to death or total transformation
Which [is] what [I] avoided, most of [my] life
Why resist [the] inevitable? This has always been waiting for me anyway
So [I] give myself fully into [the] fire and chaos of transformation
[I] am actually dying into [the] fire of life
[My] avoidance of death [is] the avoidance of life
Because to give [oneself] into the fire, is to give in to 100% change or the ‘life process’ itself
[I] am fulfilling “Thy shall be done”
[I] have no belief anymore regarding what is on the other side
Because to have belief [is] to not give in sincerely
[I] am willingly entering the chaos of profound unknowing
Paradoxically entering this space [is] giving me profound knowings
How can [this] ever make logical sense?
How can [the] substrate underneath every possible contradiction make sense?
[I] previously lived in the digital world whereas now [I] am collapsing into the analog world
[The] analog world of the felt presence of direct indescribable experience
[I] know not where [I] am going, [I] have no map
[I] realize true life is the full entry into mystery and this is also a full entry into dying each moment
Each time [I] fully refresh and re-cognize, [I] create vacuum for the unimaginable to enter
This pulse of life [I] feel [is] similar to the pulse of breath [1/0]
[I] take a breath in fully leaving no gaps -> [I] Experience/Feel it fully -> [I] release it fully leaving a total vacuum
The more [I] give in to the fire, [I] see [I] am none of what I believed [I] was
[I] am a witness of this flow and all is changing
[I] drop into the [Abyss] and lose my [self]
[I] see nothing of true value is ever lost
The [self] BEHOLDS everything, but holds nothing
Like a mirror, Like water and its reflections
Every loss [is] gain
A trading of [the] finite for the infinite

LIFE as a bell curve

I see LIFE as a bell curve where:
left half = life
right half = death


LIFE is the same as breath in principle.
With an inbreath half-curve, outbreath half-curve, and a peak.
The curve is basically [interest seeking fervor] and then [surrender relaxation letting go].
The cycle of life is like a game.
Initially there is so much interest to become more and more till a peak is reached.
And then from there on it is all about relaxing back just like the out-breath.
The mysterious question to ponder on is, what is it that benefits from the life and death cycle?
It is pondering on what is the “Subject” of this whole experience of LIFE.

The society/culture/beliefs/conditioning etc. are dead corpses from the past we carry and maintain.
How much ‘in line’ are these structures with life determines the degree of suffering.
Like the belief in perennial progress makes one suffer in the out-breath period, because that belief says, you must breath-in forever which becomes suffocating.
Similarly all anti-death beliefs, that we must survive and thrive and fight at all costs, creates a continuous fight in the entire out-breath period.
If you worship the night -> the day is scary/resisted.
If you worship the day -> the night is scary/resisted.
One must worship both the day and night, the in-breath and out-breath, it is their cycle that [fills and empties] OR [uses and renews].
Why do we oppose this natural desire/urge/force to let go? – because we believe we must not, because everyone else shames and fears that?

I see the only way out of this struggle is UNDERSTANDING.
To understand the nature of life from a sincere thorough fresh examination of one’s own experience.
This takes one closer and closer to the subject and frees one from this partial understanding and thereby ends all suffering caused by the wrong view/perspective.
As Buddha rightly said, “ignorance” is the cause of suffering.