There is only the field

There is only the dream.
There is only the field.
Whatever suffering comes to you is only an appearance of/in the dream field.
The suffering does not come from any particular person, situation, or any thing/event or condition,
They are all only appearance and props of the will of the field itself.
The whole moves the whole, no part moves the whole.

One of the best analogies for this is the movie screen.
The whole movie is playing out in the screen,
And the pixels making the characters in the screen do not have any causal relationship with any of the other pixels, though they might appear to have it in a specific movie.
The whole movie is already there in the film roll,
And the pixels on the screen are not causing each other in any way.
They are all independently responding all at once.
However in our minds when we create meaning, we try to look for causal relations.
Even if causal relations appear to exist they are still only a persistent illusion.

For instance, say you are watching the movie ‘Groundhog day’,
And he keeps waking up everyday in the same bed with the same alarm clock and time,
Next time you see the bed, you’ll immediately predict correctly that the alarm will ring and wake him up.
But that kind of causal relationship is a feature of that particular movie,
And in reality all the pixels are independent of each other and only following the projector reel.
So it is a case of ‘the whole moves the whole’, no part moves the whole wrt. the screen.

Causation is an illusion.
There is only the field, and whatever plays within it is the play of the field itself.
Whatever world, condition, situation, circumstance, or relationship appears,
Is only an appearance that the field plays out just like a movie. 

The power of the field generates “Experience”.
We have various gross-subtle bodies that relate to what is outside to create experience.
Even the transformation of those bodies (by the field itself or by the power of the higher bodies of your own), is also an appearance of the field.
The field is consciousness, only the field is.
All else is an appearance of the field.

The field is the substrate and all that appears are its modulations.
Depending upon what is awake in you,
i.e. the highest body awake in you and its vision/potential/power,
It will transform all of the lower bodies.
Paradoxically when it comes to our bodies, all of them are subservient to the field.
So all their power is only surrogate power, that is of surrendering to the field itself and thereby channeling more of it.
The more you yield to the higher, the greater the powers and vision you channel.

The field is our highest ultimate body technically speaking.
So ultimately if the field itself is awake in you, it will draw you back into itself by transforming the rest.
In a way, during the transformation, nothing fundamentally changed,
All that changed was that all the particles rearranged themselves by yielding to the higher frequency zone that was awake in you, and along with that, all the lesser powers played themselves out and completed themselves.

VR analogy for Turiya

In Vedanta,
There are the following different states of consciousness:
# Turiya
# Deep sleep = Turiya + Deep sleep
# Dreaming = Turiya + Deep sleep + Dreaming
# Waking = Turiya + Deep sleep + Dreaming + Waking

Turiya is not really a state,
But it is the transcendent reality,
That underlies all the 3 states,
Of waking, dreaming, sleeping.

A great way to experientially imagine this,
Is to take the analogy of a VR headset.
You are Turiya.
You first wear the VR headset ‘switched off’ on your head first = Deep sleep
Say the VR headset cycles through these 3 states of:
# Being switched off = Deep sleep
# Movie mode = Dream
# ‘First person’ avatar game mode = Waking
Let’s imagine there are 2 screens on the VR:
# The screen closer to your eye is the movie screen.
# The screen farther away from your eye is the game screen.

The 2 can play simultaneously also, but generally,
When the game screen is switched on,
The movie screen turns translucent,
And serves as a sort of AR (augmented reality) for the game screen.

Imagine you forgot you were wearing this headset,
And got immersed into the game screen appearance,
Then you will believe the game world shown on it is the ground reality.
Supposing you snapped out of the trance,
And realized you were wearing the headset,
This real you that woke up to this is ‘Turiya’.
The VR headset still cycles between being switched off, movie mode, and game mode.
However now the real you is awake behind all of these states.

Imagine trying to convince another avatar in the game mode,
That he is actually another person like you wearing the headset.
How would you go about it?
Whatever he points to in that VR game world,
And even his avatar body, would have nothing to do with what you are trying to point at.

Similarly the other implication of this analogy would be that:
If you went to deep sleep in the game mode for the other players,
It means your headset is in its turned off state.
The real you wearing the headset is still awake.
However, since your headset is switched off, you would receive no information from the VR game world.
Other players would find you motionless/asleep/dead.
And even if they waved at you from within the game,
You would not receive that.
But however the real you, is still awake,
Just observing the blankness of the switched off screen.
This real you that is transcendent of the VR headset and its simulated worlds = Turiya.

The ‘self’ and the ‘Self’

The self ‘gets born’/emerges and the self dies/returns.
The self emerges from the ocean like a wave,
And then dies/returns to the ocean.
The self manifests/emerges like a breeze in the air,
And then returns/’fades back’ into the stillness of air.

Our selves are only instruments to serve our deeper origins.
All our creation is to manifest source’s will/intentions/forces.
The hand of the Self/Source/God is there in every drop of creation.
Every grain of sand has been created from,
And embodies this source intelligence.

The lost self is the one which assumed independence,
And lost sight of its connection to source.
Like a wave that has emerged,
And forgotten it is actually the action of the ocean.
All pain is really resistance to change.
Life/Pleasure —vs— Death/Pain
Because really all pain is the pain of disillusionment.

This resistance happens from ignorance,
Ignorance of the ocean,
Ignorance of the source from where one arises,
Ignorance of the vision,
That the self is actually a temporal activity/appearance,
And that one’s real nature is that of the Source/God/Self.

The ignorance is that,
The self assumes itself to the source/”Self”,
Which is no different than the moon thinking it is the source of light.
When in reality it is only the reflector of the light of the sun.
That is why in the Hindu scriptures, there is a distinction made between:
Source of light = Param-atma/Sun
Reflector of light = Moon/Jiva/Atma/Soul

To achieve completion in the vision,
Is to see the source light reflected through everything.
Where you know you are the light,
And you also see your own prism channeling this source light,
And where you see all others as other instruments/prisms,
As other reflecting instruments of this same source,
Essentially channeling/using that same source energy.
The source light/energy is like air or space.
It is everywhere.
And all creation is suffused in it.
Our very existence and emergence into form is the will of source.
And our return to the formless is also the will of source.

Death is only death of the illusion,
Of what we believe we are.
Our birth and death is only of illusion,
That is, the alternation of:
Illusion and Disillusionment.
The truth however eternally exists.

Deeper point of observation

Your “level of vision” is connected to how deep your inner “point of observation” is.
Deeper the inner “point of observation” = higher or deeper the vision.
The people whom we consider visionary or gurus, have very deep points of observation relative to others.
Which is why they are considered as such, as visionaries or gurus.

To give an example/analogy:
Suppose you climb on top of a mountain and now you can see the whole village from a higher vantage point of view.
Now, someone in the space station viewing the earth has a far higher point of observation.
This person in the space station is therefore capable of much greater seeing, and therefore has the potential for much greater understanding, context, and knowledge.
He can not only see that you climbed that mountain, he can also see all the surrounding mountains, where you are on earth etc. (essentially a phenomenally greater amount of information).
The space station person can TRIANGULATE your position and say communicate with you by RADIO.
When you are on top of the mountain, it looks like there is nowhere higher to go.
But the deeper visionary sees you like the man in the space station sees you standing on the mountain.

Boundary violations in relationships

There are 2 poles to this:
Incoming boundary violation —– Distancing boundary violation.
The oppressor —and—- The abandoner.
The bully —and—- The hermit

The two are many a time a sort of a response to each other.
The one expecting incoming boundary violation, preemptively distances himself.
The one expecting distancing, pushes in as rapidly(oppressively) as possible.

In the extreme case of distancing, it would feel like the movie “I am legend” i.e. ambushed in a house by millions of zombies wanting to eat you up.
In the extreme case of the pursuer kind of person, they would get desperate and cling to every last straw of possible relation. Like a hungry hunter lost in the forest, and where every animal he tries to catch outruns him.

The distancing kind of relationship person is caused by trauma and fear of enmeshment.
The pursuer/chaser kind of relationship person is caused by trauma and fear of abandonment.

Another analogy for empathizing with these 2 positions = Police and the Thief.
The police chases, while the thief runs.
So we have a chaser and a runner.
Hell for the runner = having a million people chasing him everywhere.
Hell for the chaser = having a million runners but all faster than him.

For the distancer person, it is like hiding in a cave.
Since he actively avoids all relationship with any animals, the animals entering the cave to have a relationship with him would mostly be predators right? Who would sniffed have him from the outside itself and then entered the cave.
So this then reinforces the idea that the world is predatory, to the distancer person.

For the chaser person, they are like the starved-hungry wild animal,
Ready to devour anything in sight because they are super hungry, but every animal runs away from them.

The chaser person is essentially in a state of being starved.
While the distancer person is essentially in a state of being food-poisoned.
So both of them are living in 2 separate hells.
But they attract each other from being denizens of the same hell polarity.

The seed and the tree


The seed is the innate potential.
The tree is what the environment allows in the seed.
This seed-tree analogy could be applied to multiple truths/contexts.
For instance:
Your DNA/Biology is like your seed,
While your social ego/self/identity/conditioning would be like the tree.

The seed’s responsibility is to give out all of its potential.
The tree’s responsibility is to stay a match/align to its environment.

Parallels between life and dreams

I have had 1000s of lucid dreams in my life,
Some of my takeaways from these dream experiences are:
# If you control the dream strongly it will fade to black very soon.
Your lightest touch of will/intent/emotion will keep the dream running the longest.
# After it fades to black, you have to just relax into the darkness and stay still, and then after a while the next potential dream emerges out of it.
I have at max gone through 10+ dreams this way.
Where a dream happens – you control it gently – and then it fades to black – you then stay still in the blackness – and the next one emerges and once again you participate – and so on.
Maintaining the thread of awareness through a series of lucid dreams is a subtle art of delicate control that is so much in harmony, that it is almost like non-control.
Similarly it is also possible to lose yourself into a dream if you get too involved and thereby lose your lucidity and get absorbed into its themes, and this would end that series of lucid dreams.

I see many parallels between my waking life and my dream life.
In my everyday life, each time I get up, I am a new person, in a new context, in a new energy space, in a new frame of mind.
I feel pulls in various directions, either external or internal.
Then I respond to the pulls based on conditioning/habits/likes/intentions etc. and then as I give into one of them, I get engaged in various activities/research/exploration/learning/contemplations etc. and then the investment energy gently fades, and then I either subtly shift my theme of activity to another one OR I just go back into the space/womb/ocean of ‘superposition of possibilities/void/chaos of various pull and push pulsating forces(like the ocean water undulations)’.
Then some wind of inspiration EMERGES out of this ‘possibility chaos’ and then rises up like a wave and carries me in its perspective/vision/feelings/quests etc.
And once that wave completes, I once again return to the ‘oceanic chaos of possibilities’.
I feel this is so similar to my dream.
The fading to void is like returning to the “chaos of possibilities”.
And the emerging of the dream is like the waking interests arising in me that move me.

I experience boredom, as a resistance to that state of “primordial chaos of possibilities”.
It is the longing/attachment to inhabit the coherence of a wave moved by the whole ocean vs. just being in a state of aimless undulation moving back and forth in the same place.
This then led me into contemplating further.
What is death really? Is it not the fading of THIS dream?

The whole thing is fractal.
There are cycles within cycles within cycles, and so on.
There is an infinite nesting of contexts.
There are contexts inside contexts inside contexts, and so on.
There is a dream within a dream within a dream, and so on.
My early childhood life, school life, college life, work life etc. were like different dreams, within the larger dream of my identity dream (once I identified myself in the mirror and by name).
I could also divide it as: Childhood, Teenage years, Early adulthood, Middle adulthood etc.
And all of this is coming from my mind DREAMING all of this up RIGHT NOW.
This makes me wonder! What is this great dream we are in?
What am I outside of this dream of my identity?
Am I not the ocean itself? from where this dream of me arose?

Right now, I am riding this dream wave of writing this post.
At the end of this post, this wave would have gone back into the ocean.

The expenditure of karmic energy potentials


I see experience as a curriculum of ‘karmic energy potentials’ for this lifetime.
Like the picture here showing Van Gogh’s famous starry sky, we could visualize ourselves as the whole space(the whole field) in true essence, and all the stars are all the container of various potential experiences we are to experience in this life.
Or I could say our soul/heart contains all these star experience potentials.
Each star then continuously expends its energy.
There are stars of various sizes, and the brightest ones tend to take up the most of our attention and may represent core characteristics of our identity whose qualities shine on us no matter where we are on this field.

Our observer point then starts accelerating along a certain path – the orbit of which is created such that we would have drunk the experience from all the stars energy on completion.
We have a certain degree of choice energy embedded in the observer point too.
So generally we choose to live through the pleasurable ones first (large gas giants and low density stars – which represent high vibrations) and identify our self as them (the white fish in yin-yang) and this forms the day period of our lives, and when all the pleasure-stars have exhausted their fuel of experience, they all vanish and we enter the night of our lives and experience all the other wonders and terrors of the various smaller night stars which mostly represent our repressed shadows/non-egoic potentials (dis-identified disavowed parts under the iceberg). This night journey represents the dark night of soul which our heart lives through.

Then once all the difficult dense energy stars (sadness, grief, pain etc. and the low vibration parts) exhaust their potentials too, then the journey completes itself and we are freed from the heart and union with the formless field as DELIGHT.

Consciousness – luminance and focus

Luminance variable:
Range: bright ———– dark
Focus variable:
Range: total chaos ———– total focus

Here are some examples of different states.

Brightest consciousness (left = total chaos, right = total focus)


Dull consciousness (left = total chaos, right = total focus)


Average consciousness (medium brightness) (left = partial chaos, right = total focus)
This illustrates a case, where there is partial chaos in consciousness.
Here, like multiple tv signals overlapping along with a background noise, one perceives many frames of reality simultaneously and weakly.

average chaos clear

Can you imagine the power of god?


Fear exists.
Fear is a protective system.
Protection from what?
Protection from destruction of what I believe is ‘me’.
And what is this ‘me’ that needs protection?
And Protection from what? Life itself?
So life itself looks like an enemy because it threatens ‘me’.
That means the very existence of me itself is anti-life energy to a great extent.

This ‘me’ is the limiter of life energy itself -> and I am afraid life will go beyond these limits -> which would then not serve the preservation or expansion of me.
So then I am terrified of an infinite unlimited power.
Let’s call that god.
Because what would prevent it from breaking my structure?
The energy of life being finer than us fears nothing we know, it is no-thing, and extremely finely structured.

Like quarks are not afraid of an atom bomb.
Because the atom bomb can do nothing to the structure of the quark.
But every other gross structure is terrified of the power of the atom bomb.
Isn’t the fear of god exactly that?
I stand as a mortal structure with the knowledge that I am going to die and I don’t know when and how, and I do not even know what lies beyond?
Would that not put me in the PERMANENT state of anxiety and fear?
How can I know what lies ahead?
Is there any way of knowing apart from BEING THAT?

Imagine you met a trans-dimensional alien, who could materialize in a physical form or de-materialize and occupy a frequency spectrum subtler and beyond our perception. How would you react to this?
How long would it take for the alien to decimate your entire structure, or how long would it take for the alien to exalt you into perfect health?
OR Lets imagine a bunch of nano-bots.
Imagine if these were not bots, but some kind of extraterrestrial nano being forms.
Well the range of actions they could perform on you could be anything from:
Atomic bomb like decimation of you [Destruction] ———OR——— They could make you into the finest imaginable sculpture of a structure [Exaltation]
All these analogies are to point at the power of god.
Could you think of more such possibilities?

What relationship would “I” have to the infinitely subtle power?
Well that depends on how life has treated me so far, right?
What if I’ve had assault after assault of diseases after diseases with no cure and I am suffering in isolation and despair, desperately trying to just live the barest life possible, how would I then feel about the power of god?
Compare this to another person, who has lived the usual formula, some good times, few bad times, well settled and integrated into society and its games. What would be his conception and position towards the power of god?
Would it not be much more favorable than what I might assume god is?
Is god merciful? Is god wrathful? Why should it be one or the other?
Can our minds conceive of a god who is all the worst qualities and all the best qualities at the same time?
Isn’t that a brain fry?
An impossible contradiction to hold in the linear one-at-a-time instrument the mind is?

God’s actions in time can evoke:
Negative anticipation (dread/despair/terror/fear) —————————— Positive anticipation (what is usually celebrated as faith/devotion/love)
There is a profound unknowing here.
How can we ever know the infinite?
Only the finite can be known, isn’t it?

We assume we somewhat know, judging by our past memories and life experience, but could it not be that life has just been too easy on us?
The giant is playing gentle?
But what would prevent the giant from getting explosively violent and tearing us apart?
Doesn’t that duality exist in the potentials of the giant?
And why should we assume the creator loves us and wants to keep us in the utmost possible condition of well-being?
Maybe it wants to make us suffer like dogs?
OR conversely, why does the creator not completely exalt us?
Why are we kept in this ‘weird’, ‘odd’, ‘absurd’, and ‘confusing’ condition?
To assume it is one or the other(love or destruction) is to limit the creator’s power isn’t it?
I mean it could hate us as much as it loves us right?
Could it be both simultaneously? The creator hates us and loves us, and somewhere inbetween if the love is greater than hate our life moves forward?
Because to assume only love, is to deny the entirety of the dark side.
If it is all love then what is the dark side then? NOT GOD? SOMETHING ELSE?
How can that be?
Most people I see are believing their ‘concept of god’ as god, a limited conception which looks like ‘infinite denial’ to me.
What is INFINITE potential? (contemplation)
It could be ANYTHING from: Abject terror ——to——– Greatest love?
The most horrific devil imaginable ——-to——— The most loving angelic being?
Both ARE god?
So god could take any potential among infinite ones or be all of it simultaneously?

The world is deterministic, with all its physical laws etc, like a fixed structure that looks promising like it can be mastered.
But I feel that is because the god giant is 95% asleep.
Imagine if god wakes up to its infinite power, would it not end this world as instantly as how your dream abruptly ends when you are jolted awake in the morning?
The god giant appears to take this puny form of a deterministic world filled with laws/structures etc.
But seriously can we get truly one up on this?
Aren’t we still under god’s mercy, who has taken this puny strange limited absurd form in the form of this world and its creatures?
Do we know the power of god?

And in all my statements above, there was an inherent duality implied of me/we being separate from god.
Let me open up a prospect even more terrifying.
What if you are god?
And what if you are pretending to be THIS?
Would you let go into your infinite power?
How much will you let go?
Can you imagine the price of this disillusionment?
Can you imagine the obliteration of every single knowledge/idea/limitation you hold on to right now?
Would you stay in this body/world contraption even for an instant if you realize your infinite power?

If I am god and if I am everything then:
I am terrified of my own power.
I am terrified of my true potential.
I am terrified of my own wrathfulness.
I am terrified of my own madness.
I am terrified of my destructiveness.
I am terrified of the intensity of my love too.
I am terrified of my extreme pleasure potentials too.
It is so much easier being this poor little me afraid of god/others, than to face my true power.
I see the way to higher consciousness as facing and walking through the ‘terror of unknowing’.