Tag: Abstract

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Ascent vs. Descent

The source breathes out existence (ex-is, meaning external isness, i.e. externalization).
And then breathes it (sucks it) back in.
This it the breath of the source, as it descends and ascends through the chakras.

ASCENT:
Every lower chakra serves the higher in ASCENT.
1c = Survival/security/stability is to serve 2c = Community
2c = Community serves 3c = Empowerment/human goals/service activity
3c = Power/goals serves 4c = Procurement of love
4c = Love serves 5c = Wisdom/Truth
5c = Wisdom serves 6c = Vision/Experience/Consciousness
6c = Consciousness serves 7c = Non-local beyond.

DESCENT:
Every higher chakra serves the lower in DESCENT.
7c = Non-local Beyond serves 6c = Vision/Experience/Consciousness
6c = Consciousness serves 5c = Wisdom
5c = Wisdom serves 4c = Love
4c = Love serves 3c = Power/human goals/service
3c = Power serves 2c = Community/Entertainment
2c = Community serves 1c = Survival/Security/Stability

Generally when we say, settle down in life what we refer to is a successful descent:
Using Consciousness and Wisdom (6c and 5c) – Finding what you love (4c) – Creating individuality, identity based on that (3c) – Finding a position in social circles and society with that identity, Finding a partner for a family (2c) – Using the resources and money gained for buying property, enjoying material prosperity/security/stability (1c).

The path of ascent however is the opposite movement.
One wants to go back to the source.
So from a position of relative stability/security(1c) – One seeks to find the source through community by becoming a disciple of masters (2c) – One then uses the inspiration of the masters to take responsibility for their own transcendence and becomes a ‘seeker’ (3c) – One seeks to find out what is in one’s heart and explores both its yin/yang sides (4c) – The heart then realizes its love for wisdom and pursues wisdom for its own sake (5c) – The wisdom develops and distills itself into pure polarities (6c) – Then finally the polarities are dissolved in the non-dual non-local source beyond (7c).
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Loneliness is the thirst for connection/relationship

Loneliness is a kind of thirst.
A thirst for what? A thirst for relationship/connection.
Thirst for ‘BEING’.
It is the thirst to BE.
BE what? Just to be anything, something…
OR a thirst to be more than what you are.
To ‘relate/connect’ is the same as the ‘Will to BE’.
Greater the ‘Will to BE’ = Greater is this thirst to relate/connect.
It is possible to BE anything only through relationship.
You are a some-body only in relation to other-bodies.
You are a personality only in relation to other personalities.
The self and other are emergent phenomena that are mutually interdependent on relationship.
The other does not have to be a person, it could even be ANY EXPERIENCE including abstract ideas, philosophies, inanimate objects etc.
Remove the relationship, and both the self and other vanish together.
The game gets disbanded, and identity is dissolved with it.
For example: In the movie ‘Cast Away’, Tom Hanks draws a face on a football and keeps talking to it to maintain his identity. If he did not do that, in the absence of all human contact, his humanness ITSELF would fade away (from the disappearance of ‘relationship’)

A ‘Relationship’ is the ‘AXIS’ that creates the respective players on both the sides.
Be it:
To love ——— To be loved [Axis]
To desire ——- To be desired [Axis]
To need ——— To be needed [Axis]
A relationship axis creates polarity, the 2 poles.
The poles are not fixed but can switch too.
A relationship is alive too, it is a dynamic, an alive dance.

We derive profound meaning from each other.
A profound dance transpires in every interaction.
The deeper we understand this, the more it brings out the depth.
Ultimately it is life interacting with itself.
That which is alive in me interacts with that which is alive in you.
I create myself through relationship with you, you create yourself through relationship with me.
Even what we call we call as negative relationship which includes seeing oneself as rejectible, contemptible, unlikeable, unlovable, unworthy, unfit, uninteresting, unimportant, unwanted, undeserving etc. is also a [REAL TANGIBLE INTERNALIZED NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIP IMAGE].
It is not non-relationship, because non-relationship would simply remove everything.

The loneliness is the helplessness of being unable to let go of this [internalized negative relationship image], and being unable to let go of identification with that.
That gets frozen inside us, and keeps getting reinforced in every interaction.
We ignore the interactions where that is not affirmed, and emphasize the interactions where it gets affirmed, and it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
All identity works on this internalized bias, isn’t it? (whether positive or negative)
What would you be without that identity?
Isn’t that thought more terrifying than simply holding on to the known identity?
So it is like being caught between the devil and sea.
We hold on to the known devil, than let go into the unknown sea.
Unfortunately, this is trans-rational, there is no rational explanation that can truly convince you to let go into the sea.
The negative relationship identification eventually fades and wears itself out, plays itself out, and a new era is gently ushered.
We can help this process by accepting and fully experiencing everything.
We transcend this by FULLY EXPERIENCING the negative relationship imprint itself.
Feel your deepest loneliness fully with as much as you can muster, with the attitude of dropping into it, and giving in/allowing.
When fully experienced, when you feel it with your whole being and apply your whole mind and soul to it, even the loneliness will look sublime, and you will see it for what it truly is – a phenomenon.
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God is present when you are not

Internal noise/sound ——- External noise/sound
When internal noise is lower than external noise = there is reception, the world enters you. [There is awareness of the world]
When internal noise is greater than external noise = there is emitting, you put out to the world. [There is awareness of the self]

So when you become a vacuum and empty your ‘self’ = the world pours into you.
When you are filled with really loud emotions/mind = all you can feel is your self, and you cannot feel anything out in the world.

The emptier you are = the more that enters you [nature fills vacuums]
If you become absolutely empty = you will get absolutely filled from the outside.
On the other hand, if you are full of yourself = you will see/feel/hear only yourself and nothing of the outside.
That is why it is said:
God is there, when you are not.
You are there, when god is not.
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A quick attempt to create a model of reality

A quick Model/Ontology of reality from my direct experience:
(I have added references to some kabbalah terms, physical universe analogues)

#### FORMLESS/SPIRIT/ABSOLUTE/EMANATION #### (World of: Atziluth)
1 – Unmanifest/ONE (Ain Sof) – 7D

#### FORM/MANIFEST/RELATIVE #### (yin yang, double helix dna)(universe)(Worlds of: Briah, Yetzirah, Malkuth)

2. SOUL REALM (Galaxy super cluster)(Kether/Platonic forms realm) – 6.3D
[Larger context = soul family/galaxy cluster] (6.2D specific family of souls)
Heart/Soul/Desire = Specified Soul DNA(galaxy) = Many lives as many beings context (6.1D specific)
Trans-human archetypes/symbology/mythology/hieroglyphs/motifs/artifacts/codes

3. STAR/SOLAR SYSTEM(5.3D) -> PLANET(5.2D) -> CREATURES REALM (5.1D)
Human Creature Biological DNA [larger context: creature family] = incarnation context – 5D specific
Human archetypes/symbology/mythology/hieroglyphs/motifs/artifacts/codes

4. CULTURE/CIVILIZATION/SOCIETY [Geburah/chesed]
Socio-cultural-civilizational-locational DNA – 4D
Specific cultural context where creature is born – 4D specific

5. EGO/SOCIAL IDENTITY [Yesod] – 3D
Specific internalization of family/enculturation/societal conditioning/civilization codes – 3D specific

6. PERSONAS [Masks/Presentations] – 2D
Chosen mask – 2d specific

7. The immediate chosen persona interaction possibility space – 1D
The actual interaction option chosen and happening = 1D specific
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One can enjoy the greatest freedom/power/service only in invisibility

Popularity subjects you to people’s projected ideals/images.
The images are superimposed on you.
They can project on you the image of a demi-god or make you a devil.
And it is not that you can just ignore these projections.
If many beings project you as a savior/angel/god, you will have a 1000 people at your door worshiping you.
In reality they aren’t worshiping you, but are worshiping their own god-image which they have projected on you
That case is the dream of many and that sounds really great.
But in the game of identifying with a self made up of projections there is the opposite side to it.
What if everyone projects their devil on you?
Now they will attack you with the same viciousness as they would attack any devil.

Projections can be completely blind, but usually, the projection is an extrapolation of qualities that do emanate from the receiver.
Like take the case of romantic love.
The opp-sex does something sweet and that is extrapolated to mean they are the god of sweetness and ever flowing nectar.

A narcissist primarily lives on the self created totally from these projections only.
So all of their life-energies and faculties are dedicated exclusively to the game of image enhancement/management.
Either they inflate themselves or put down others and basically aim to raise themselves up to a secure place of worth/value/prestige/fame/being.
But this is a FULL TIME business, because to maintain images is very difficult, and people are capricious too and keep changing their projections depending on their own moods.
Though such a person might appear to be charismatic from all the incredible effort they have invested in IMAGE MANAGEMENT, they are a slave to what everyone else thinks they are.
They are standing on a quick sand, and have to be permanently preoccupied with upholding/maintaining their volatile/fragile self concept.
Usually they overcompensate for this desperate dependence by making others dependent on them, and by repeatedly convincing others directly/indirectly that others need them.
In reality it is they who are enslaved and most vulnerable and who have to on a full time basis resort to all sorts of tricks to maintain their ever-insecure image.
Such a life is terrible and seriously powerless, though it is the narcissist who would make the greatest grandiose bombastic displays of power.
“Every display is driven by its dual”.
The are aware of their supreme vulnerability and are so deeply ashamed about it, it is projected outward as an ugly world that they have to keep exploiting/cheating to survive.
It is like the girl who has to wear makeup 24×7 so that she can maintain her image OR a guy who has to act powerful/sure/confident/strong all the time just to maintain that image.
This is an existential level curse.
Narcissists can be extremely violent/rageful/harmful to everything, but at this level of context, I do feel compassion for them for landing up in such a situation.

The reason I brought up the long explanation about the narcissist is because they are the section of beings that live EXCLUSIVELY on image projections.
They show you the real picture of what a punishment it is to live a life forged on these projected images.
Ofcourse nobody is an absolute narcissist.
There are varying degrees here too.
But I illustrated the more pure aspect of this condition.

Whereas when one is invisible, one has the greatest freedom.
Such a one can be a great conduit of pure spirit/service and enjoy the greatest freedom because he does not have to live in accordance and fear of the quagmire of projected images and the harm and imprisonment all of that could bring.
He could shape-shift, be whatever the situation deems and be maximally adaptive and free.
Thank your anonymity for the greatest blessing that it is :).
I will happily live in the poverty of spirit, with my feet planted there, and enjoy the show of people’s projections as it may come and go.
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Masculine or Feminine is relative to each interaction

Colloquially male or female denotes sex/gender and there are some typical characteristics associated with the genders.
Here I am presenting something more abstract, focusing on masculine and feminine on the lines of yang-yin and as a spontaneous polarization dance that happens.
Here, whether you are [male or female] is specific to [each interaction].
Think of it in terms of [energetic forces].
It is a polarization that materializes/arises and passes depending on the energy interaction.
Like a dance emerges with the stronger force passing over transformation to the smaller force.

Some examples:
If I am chiseling wood – I am masculine, the wood is feminine
If a woman takes care of her infant – The woman is masculine, the infant is feminine
If you are listening to a great speech – The speaker is masculine, you are feminine.
If you are conveying a specific point to someone – You are masculine, the listener is feminine.
…And so on

Equivalent Spectrums:
Masculine ——- Feminine
Giving ———- Receiving
Potter ———- Clay
Energy ———- Matter
Transformer —– Transformed
Yang ———— Yin
Speaker ——— Listener
Spirit ———- Matter
Unmanifest —— Manifest
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On Brain Transformation

digitalbrain

The [Dynamic Ground] is the context while the [Ego] is the manager within that background context. (these terms were borrowed from the book: The Ego and the Dynamic Ground – Michael Washburn)

All [judgments/labeling/categorizing/concepting/focusing/lensing] -> is from the [Mind Net] cast over [WHAT IS (Actual Perception + Perception stemming from Memory)].
It is [Mind Vision].
To [see with the mind] is to cast this [instrument’s net].
It is to see ‘through’ this net.
But if mind is an instrument then what is the driver of this instrument? = [DESIRE]

[Conscious Desire/Interests/Passions] -> which are basically the [deeper unconscious/archetypal forces/energies/cathexis] passing through the [NET of Worldly-knowledge and memory] and getting translated into forms that can fit into the [symbolic order/outer world].
The brain works as a [CONDUIT AND NET] for [translating/prism-ing] the [inner soul unconscious subconscious desires/forces].
If this [Brain filter] is too dense, and if it serves as a very poor medium or translator for letting the [higher soul inner desires] to [manifest] through this [realm/plane/symbolic order], and if it is just [repressing/barring/walling/shielding/blocking] most of it, and if it accumulates a lot of [useless conditioned dead habits] -> then this brain instead of being a conduit becomes an [overhead/dead-weight/poor conducting/resisting medium] -> The [task/imperative] then becomes to seek higher knowledge that will help create a [BETTER CONDUCTING and LIGHTER BRIDGE], so that more of the [soul’s true desires] can be [conduit-ed/translated] into [freedom/action/expression] in this [outer realm/symbolic order/plane].
This sort of [Brain Transformation] comes from the [unmanifest/unconscious] but one can [intuit] what is happening.
[Consciously] one can only [witness and manage] the [transformation process] happening – which happens in the [background/backdrop/context].
The [imperative] therefore during [TRANSFORMATION] is to [serve the process] by being an [efficient conductor of the ORCHESTRA] that unfolds.

 

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On Rejection

rejection-suzanne-marie-leclair

‘Rejection’ is the withdrawal of the ‘power supply/investment’ itself.
[‘Reality objects’ dependently arise from relationship]
So every-time there is hope and effort, and if rejection follows, then that:
{hope/investment -causing-> Efforts} = everything is wasted.
If this happens 1000s of times, you will get total drained from being unable to plug into the larger circuits, you have to withdraw your actions/efforts and go back to the philosophical drawing-board/introspection/remapping/reexamination.

Interestingly, very often, negative relationships are preferred to rejection.
Because when you are attacked, you are still validated as SOMETHING – a foe/a hateable person/a punishable person.
There is some identity that is being upheld and sustained by the attacker of you.
That is why when a void of neglect is created in a child’s life, it generally fills the void with a negative relationship, of, “I must be bad/defective in some way and that is why as a punishment I am neglected and if I do right I can earn back the love/involvement/relationship/inclusion into life”.
This could result in that child pursuing self-improvement/self-flagellation for the rest of his/her life to earn the missing affection/relationship.

Let’s take the case of a negative abusive relationship.
The person is allowing you to [be something] by virtue of his/her relationship to you -> and stirring up some [stimulation/some emotion/some drama/some engagement].
But in rejection -> it is like pulling the plug off.
The other gives you no sustenance whatsoever, and since reality is ‘dependent- arising’, when any one side withdraws, it comes to an end.
And your social-identity/ego is made up of nothing but the [conglomeration of all the projected images of others on you as relationships].
Relationships with others make -> ‘YOU’/your social identity/your ego.
Relationships with your internal imagination world objects keep those objects alive.

Say you are looking for a soul-soul relationship or individual-individual relationship, but everyone you know is plugged into a social system/circuit/frame.
In that case, you participating in their FRAMES is to only give strength to the already large-network they are invested in.
It is like investing the little money you have into a [large multinational corporation].
Firstly your [peanuts investment] means very little to the multinational.
Secondly, the person you are giving that too, who is inside the [power-grid web of that multinational] is only one of its agents and he could care less if he loses one supporter, even if you walk away.
But you know what, you would have lost a LOT of investment energy in that transaction.
For a person not invested, the social entities are just [larger impersonal uncaring alien organisms] that expand and take as many [life energies/souls] into their structure.
People are plugged into these systems/reality power-grids, and the life of these systems COMES FROM the PEOPLE who are PLUGGED INTO THEM -> creating a circulating circuit that gives power to the system.
The entire definition/structure/sustenance of these systems comes from the common investment of a LARGE number of people.
That is why people who have a ravenous desire for power will always go after the most popular well accepted things, because those circuits carry the most power from carrying the investment the highest number of people.

This is digressing from the original topic, but what I wanted to communicate here was that, if you desire an [individual-individual relationship] but find that 99% of the people you know are plugged into various social games and the only windows of relationship they provide you are for you to participate in those impersonal frames, it will eventually drain you.
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Distillation of insights

‘All is appearance’
‘The unmanifest far transcends all of the manifest’
‘All can change’
‘The real is NOW’
‘Timelines/time are within the NOW’,
‘Yin-yang cycles/alternations/pendulum-swings are happening across all scales’
‘The movement of energy is a mystery and I am that mystery’
‘There is only ‘singular’ being, and this being is being its nature of ‘mystery”
‘Control is an appearance’
‘Free-will is an appearance’
‘Conscious experience is conditioned by a vast subconscious(which can be intuited)’
‘All is one/All is energy/I am THAT energy’
‘There is only experience(inward or outward)’
‘All mental knowledge is through contrast (duality)’
‘There is nothing to fear, because whatever is lost is anyways what one is not’
‘The self and knowledge are memory, but memory is not me but an accumulation’
‘Desire creates and upholds consciousness itself’
‘Desire -> Consciousness[Energy[Mind -> Body]]’
‘Let all of you serve your highest truth’
‘There is no causation, There is only emergence’
‘We are the spontaneous unfolding of karmic potential’
‘We are evolution itself’
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Chronic anger develops from Chronic violation

emergence

Say you are a child.
And your parents were over-controlling, over-protective, over-bearing, over-intrusive, dominating, smothering, suffocating, over-powering, and infringed on you in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.
Say they imposed tyranny on you, threatened you in all sorts of ways (psychological, mental, physical), played all sorts of emotionally debilitating games, and constantly used guilting and shaming to get you to comply.
Let’s say, whenever you raised resistance they decried it, minimized it, laughed at it, brushed it away, denied it, gas-lighted it (mind-gaming, perception-blaming), performed circular arguments, somehow twisted the blame back to you, guilted you for even raising resistance, mind-gamed you into thinking it was unreasonable and actually your fault, and so on.
Imagine, this was taken a level even further and you were physically beaten into submission as brutally as possible, until you were filled with nothing but fear and terror.
Supposing they opposed your every attempt to individuate yourself or separate yourself from them, and thwarted every such effort on your part.
Say, they always wanted you to be their slave(but they would never admit this), and fit their image, and be exactly the way they want you to be (a clone of them or living up to their ideal/role/expectation), and always be under their control.
Now, let’s add to the suffering. Supposing you had a sibling whose only mission in life was to compete with you and actively and violently suppress all of your expression and minimize everything that you can possibly do.
Would this not be an EXTRAORDINARY hostile environment for you to grow up in?
Would not your life purpose become just about emerging from all these hostile forces and gain the most basic of freedom and liberty?

When a child is faced with this sort of debilitating, imprisoning, torturous, blind, abusive, crippling, stifling, controlling, maddening, and disabling environment, he shrinks in terror and seals oneself off from relationship (killing off the possibility of love).
In this heart of darkness (like a dark prison cell with a window), the child looks out at the world from the grilled window.
This dark cell the child creates is the protective cover of the heart against this level of assault and it permanently seals off many many possibilities of relationship with the world.
The dark cell always serves as a reminder and houses all the traumatic memory in its very walls.
Every time these situations were faced, tremendous rage and anger was aroused, as a protective system against the assault, but no amount of rage could do anything to stop it.
The child is absolutely powerless and helpless no matter HOW HARD he tries.
This sends him into a deep despair.
Should he fight to live? OR should he dissociate and just let himself die?
If the former option is chosen:
A super high degree of rage becomes the default mode of being because there is always a background of infinite threat against which one has to defend and fight.
An “extreme fear and defense/attack” disposition becomes the default against an infinitely threatening environment and others.
Life itself is then perceived as an ‘extremely hostile other’ that is out to destroy the child against which the child is woefully under-powered to fight.
This takes on archetypal/mythical levels of reality penetration, and thereafter the child will live his whole life in background FEAR AND TERROR – and live in a state of being ever-ready to violently fight at the most primitive levels.
The default mode of perception is of SUPERLATIVE THREAT and SUPERLATIVE DEFENSE.
The ATTACK is nothing but Pre-emptive defense.
Defense is the first goal and attack is from the hope of destroying the threat so that one can do away with the NEED AND PREOCCUPATION AND FEAR about defending.
This leads to compulsive power seeking which can take on multifarious forms such as – physical domination, emotional domination, intellectual domination, social power and status seeking, and so on.
If the latter option of death is chosen:
It could also take on the reverse side of seeking to submit/surrender/give up/self-abnegate/die because that also ends the conflict.
Both the choices of:
Extreme fight ——————- Extreme surrender
They both look like opposites, but the unity in them is that, both endeavor to END conflict, and “suffering” is always from conflict.
The child may alternate too between the 2 options:
Rage at one time —————– Feel depressed and empty at another
Ultimately, the more the child deeply sees and looks into the matter, a lot of dross falls away, and it leads to singular truth seeking.
What is the truth of existence? Why is it so hostile to me? Am I guilty of something? How am I to ever emerge from this hellish circumstance? How can I heal this? Should I fight to live or just resign and die?
This kind of metaphysical preoccupation plagues the child’s mind.
He can never invest in anything like ordinary people do, because his heart carries all the frightening memories of evil that keep voiding all investments apart from temporary reprieves.
This may also take on a morbid obsession and a PTSD like repeating of the torturous memory like a constant repeating playback in the mind, in an attempt to somehow assimilate the experience memories.
Or the child when grown up may keep having a tendency to gravitate towards those very same super hostile circumstances, in an attempt to go beyond them.
He may obsessively seek self-improvement, self-empowering, or self-transcendence.

In this situation, I see no way out apart from taking apart that dark prison cell of the heart brick by brick, and developing more and more courage to see/accept/transcend what’s behind each brick.
That is the singular life purpose for such a child.