Fire the transformer

The principle of fire is within you.
Fire is the life force.
Fire + Space = Consciousness [Perception movement]
Fire + Air = Ordinary fire [Mind movement]
Fire + Water = Acid [Emotion movement]
Fire + Solid = Lava [Physical movement]
Fire is:
Destructive(if attached)——OR——Transforming(if non-attached)

Are you sure you want to be healed/cured/healthy?

Lets really dive deep into this matter.
Everyone assumes that their desire is always for a greater, better, and nicer life filled with health, vitality, exuberance, joy, prosperity, and riches.
That is the collective assumption each person holds about their innermost motivations.
But really? Are you sure? Have you ever REALLY looked inside and asked yourself if that is what you really want?
Maybe you want to be sick? Maybe you want to be seriously sick? Maybe you want to punish yourself to death? Maybe you want to end this entire life, that is commit suicide (suicide as an attitude, not the act per say)? Do you want to live a ‘living death’?
Is your innermost motivation to die? and facilitate dying in every possible way by constantly attracting severe and hostile circumstances to your life?
This may sound morbid, but the truth can be quite eye-opening if this is really examined without ASSUMING stuff just because it sounds normal or good.
Do you really want to get alright? OR Is there much more going on than just simply believing that?

Lets consider the 2 basic orientations:
Life drive ——————- Death drive
Life drive moves towards enhancing life while fearing death.
Death drive moves towards enhancing death while fearing life.
In a way both are orientations based on fear of the opposite.

I’ll speak about a few cases here.
In childhood, were you the spoilt child or the lost child?
Spoilt child —————- Neglected child
The spoilt child lets say becomes a narcissist, which means there is great love for the ‘self’ (whatever structure it has formed), and there is a desire to enhance the self at all costs even if it means sacrificing and destroying others.
The child then endlessly looks for ways of self-aggrandizement, glorification, beautification, and better survival OR he may become a fire-starter, notorious, attract negative attention etc.
Why? Because they value that structure of self so much.
This is actually an internalization of the “positive or negative parent attention” that was received.
Even if his life circumstance becomes terrible, he may wish for the destruction of the world and other people, create justified rage for everything(rage = anger, and anger cannot be there, unless there is desire, and desire cannot be there unless there is love(in this case for the self)).
However, he would still work towards preserving and enhancing himself to the hilt from the love of the self-image.

The profoundly neglected child on the other hand receives no parental attention at all.
It tends to develops a self that acts more like a martyr and also operates in a primary mood of despair.
The despair of having to put in a bunch of efforts to constantly survive in order to protect a worthless self anyway.
The profoundly neglected child may get burnt out later from all his martyrdom, and then retreat more and more into hermetic isolation with profound hatred/detachment towards everyone and everything.
The deeper truth about this is that, the parental rejection of him/her in childhood has been internalized as the self (phantom critic self) which then subjects the ‘real self’ to the same neglect and hostile attitude(of endless deprivation, slow poisoning, condemnation and punishment).
The message internalized is “We dont want you, nobody needs you here, you are a waste, you don’t deserve to exist, why don’t you just die and relieve us of the burden of having you around?”

Let’s talk more about the latter case.
Because narcissistic personalities abound in society and have been studied quite a bit.
But what has not received attention in my opinion are the silent people on the periphery living on the boundary between life and death – the profoundly neglected folk.

It does not matter how smart or erudite they may seem.
In fact more often than not, they are extremely knowledgable and intelligent too.
They become so, from all their efforts to overcome their own impossible inner critic.
The death drive(internalized phantom self critic), drives them to the height of accomplishment, but no amount of accomplishment is remotely enough for the death drive to be released.
That is why they are just assaulted from every direction with a sense of hopelessness, abandonment, isolation, despair, futility, pain no matter what they do, all of which only serves as distractions from avoiding the true harshness of their underlying condition.
It may lead to:
– compulsive isolation (because that is the only thing that feels safe), daydreaming, fantasy
– OR compulsive busyness
– OR martyrdom in the form of service for others
– OR belief in some kind of myth like “knowledge will free me” or “perfection in obeying laws is the answer” etc.
– OR may become a pleasure seeker.
There are different ways of coping with this condition, but the underlying cause is from “internalization of the rejecting neglecting other (parental figures or caregivers etc.)”
Nothing can redeem the ‘fallen self’ from the eyes of this ‘critical phantom self’. This phantom self is ruthlessly punishing and tormenting – so much, that the only real wish of the living self is for death which sets up the death drive.

So, if your condition is of the ‘neglected rejected self’ and if your ‘internalized myths’ are similar, then “failure = success”.
Changing your diet, lifestyle, doing yogic practices, exercise, herbs etc. whatever you do may not really REMOVE this shape shifting tyrannical monster that torments you from within.
Because the origin of the condition is from the MYTHIC level of consciousness.
Find out the root of your self-rejection.
It takes immense courage to face up to it, because all the other stuff actually is more of a distraction and patch-work compared to the true work of understanding the matrix of your own innermost intentions.

Stillness is relative, Analogies from astronomy

Stillness is relative.
You achieve stillness when you move at the same speed as the object you wish to have still in your vision.
To attain stillness with life, you have to move at the same speed as life.
This is done by ‘allowing’ all motion to happen.
In totally allowing yourself to be moved, your experience becomes still.
Since everything is moving, there is no absolute still point to observe from.
When you move in total alignment with the movement of god’s will(the will of the WHOLE}, creation appears STILL.

Lets take some general examples to fire up our wonder and imagination.
star-trails

When you stand on earth, you are moving along with the earth(i.e. moving along with the frame of reference of the earth), therefore the earth(ground/scenery) appears to be still while the sky contents seem to be moving (stars moving, sun moving, moon moving, planets moving etc.).
Therefore to see the contents of the earth from a still point of view, you need to move with the earth.

space-station-view

Whereas if you stood still in the sky (i.e. a fixed point in the space, like say you were looking from a non-orbiting fixed space station close to the earth), the earth under you would be whirling at 28km/sec, while the sky contents would remain relatively still.

Generally the concept of objectivity refers to precisely this, to observe a system from a point of view that is outside of the system itself.
Because from a point of view outside of the system, the whole system can be observed as an “Object”. That is why the term “Objective”.

solarsytem

Similarly when observing the solar system, you have to move along with the whole solar system itself(i.e. move at the same speed as the entire solar system as it goes around the milky way) to have the solar system appear still in your vision.

There are profound implications to the metaphors/analogies presented above.
For instance, say you are perfectly indoctrinated into a religion.
Then that religion would become fixed for you, would appear still and eternal, as eternal truth, while everything else, such as the world, other people, other systems of belief etc. would seem to all revolve/change around this central frame of reference and appear empty.
This is similar to being on Earth (seeing Earth as real/ever-present) and viewing Venus in the sky as a passing possibility that comes up as a bright dot and goes back under the horizon. While the residents in Venus(would see Venus as real/ever-present) would see earth like a dot that moves in a certain way in the sky and vanish.
Each one would see their reality as real/truth/eternal/ever-present, and the other’s reality as a changing/empty arising-passing phenomena.

So if each one sees the changing outer world through the structure of his fixed eyes, then who is seeing the truth?
Again here, truth is relative.

earthvenussun

For instance, an entity on Earth can see Venus from its point of view.
An entity on Venus can see Earth from its point of view.
But an entity that is outside of the solar system can see the entire solar system from its point of view. Which means this entity sees the patterns of both Earth and Venus, and the dance between them, and the interactions of other planets with them, and this is something that the ones on Earth or Venus cannot see OBJECTIVELY because they themselves are moving.
So is the entity outside of the solar system seeing greater and vaster truth compared to the ones on Earth or Venus? Yes!
Similarly an entity outside of the Milky Way can see the entire Galaxy and all its patterns, and this would be an even greater point of view than the entity that was outside the solar system.

milky-way

Interestingly all the entities see an INFINITE PICTURE of INFINITE COMPLEXITY.
So there is a sort of fractal/holographic nature to this whole thing.

Some of the vain myths that may occupy the sexual chakra

LOC = level of consciousness (a term taken from the ‘David Hawkins calibrated Levels of consciousness’)

PART 1: Attraction to LOC 150-175:
Shame core -> Outer raging (to hide the shame).

They believe they are already rejected/shamed, their heart is closed and does not see, but rather only projects its inner reality outward.
Then from that vision, all they see is their hated objects, and they rage at it and try to prove to the world that they are worthy.
They punish everyone else who is attracted to them, by “impossible demands” -> purposely to take out the rage.
It is a “vengeance” life. All of their outer life is about proving to the world their worth and being vengeant towards the world.
This is purposely done, so that intimacy is never achieved.
They prove in a self-fulfilling prophecy: “[internal shame + internal distrust of the world + They believe the world is unfair/not good] -> and then project that vision, and then rage/attack at it for not being so while also trying to prove to the world that they are worthy/good/deserve acceptance and love”.
This is a fractal of the [150-175] life negative LOC and it is “self-centeredness/selfishness” only.

I actually love them for their truth, and I can feel myself really wanting to heal their shame by somehow getting through all their attacks, reaching their core and then resurrecting them, and opening their heart.
I feel a strong urge to pass through all their brutal attacks with increasing intensity like a brave martyr/warrior, believing that if I somehow withstood it and reached the core, I could actually reach ‘where they are’ and resurrect that.
But since their heart is closed, the closer I get, I am only more viciously attacked and I have to ultimately retreat, because even if I did reach the core it is futile/pointless.
Their heart is closed, and they are not open to receiving.
The real reason why I abandon pursuit is when I see the futility of it, at that time, I just drop everything.
So all the sexual pursuit and putting up with the abuse, only leads to despair/futility at the end.
These people are actually extremely transparent and simple, there are only 2 layers to them: SHAME on the inside, and emanation of RAGE on the outside.

If you are attracted to a girl or guy with this pattern,
The VAIN MYTH here is that: The person can be resurrected if I tolerate their increasing rage on me until I reach their core and redeem them.
But this is a rescue fantasy again, because only THEY THEMSELVES can release their shame and heal themselves.
I will die a vain death by going into the rage fully. That is why I oscillate between the libido for sacrifice and bearing pain vs. the futility of all of it (ambivalent libido).
The promise of rescue is an illusion and therefore the mission of possible martyrdom and going into the rage is in vain.
Only when they want to heal truly, can the healing happen.
No force in the universe can make them heal otherwise.
A closed heart can only heal if it decides to open itself.
Until then nobody else can open it.
This is the law of: Respect the free will of beings, it can never be breached.
Nobody can ever open a closed-heart, it will only open when it is ready.

PART 2: Attraction to LOC 100-125:

Characteristics: “Dissociated” nihilism mindset of cluelessly fawning and taking refuge under everyone else.
Dissociation, Lostness, Numbness, Fear, Fawning.
The myth of: Rescuing the helpless lost waif, princess in distress.

Here they numb themselves out of reality and live in a dissociated space where everything looks numb and equivalent (nihilism).
The attraction here is to save/rescue/’be the savior’ of the lost/mad soul who has lost its way.
Here again, it cannot be saved, unless it WANTS to be saved.

So the VAIN MYTH here is of:
Rescuing the one who does not want to be rescued, by giving various discourses about ‘truth and themselves’ and teaching them how to see.
Again free will trumps here.
You can only help/save/rescue/’be a savior’ if the person wants to be rescued in the first place.
Only when they have reached that level of maturity and growth will they be willing. Until then you must let them be.
They cannot be forcibly dragged into truth, and must choose it out of their own free will.
Only WHEN WILLING, can they be saved and anyways there would be no resistance/suffering/problems/struggle at all if that were the case.

Duality in mind capacities

Left brain ———————— Right brain
Planning, Execution ————— Vision
Specific/Literal/Concrete ——— Abstract
Human —————————– God
Shamatha ————————– Vipassana
Concentration ——————— Awareness
Linear —————————- Non-linear
Serial —————————- Parallel
Spotlight ————————- Floodlight
Content ————————— Context
Ego ——————————- Soul
Narrow —————————- Broad
Specialist ———————— Generalist/Holistic
Trees —————————– Forest
Pixels —————————- Picture
Logic —————————– Intuition/Symbolic
Part —————————— Whole/Gestalt
Doing —————————– Being
Separation ———————— Integration
Multiplicity ———————- Unity
Depth —————————– Breath
Micro picture ——————— Macro picture
Defined/Delineated —————- Mystical/vague/undefined
Prickley ————————– Gooey
Practical ————————- Ultimate
Scientific ———————— Religious
Ground —————————- Sky
Physical/Material —————– Non-material/Metaphysical
Mind —————————— Psyche
Yang —————————— Yin
Emitting ————————– Absorbing/Listening
Judging ————————— Understanding
Achieving ————————- Allowing
Creating ————————– Dissolving
Collecting ———————— Processing/Surrendering
Masculine ————————- Feminine
Solar —————————– Lunar
Bounded ————————— Unbounded
Digital ————————— Analog
Attention ————————- Awareness
Intention ————————- Relaxation
Invention ————————- Discovery/Realization
Gross —————————– Subtle
Progress ————————– Emptiness
Technology ———————— Humanity
Doing the thing right ————- Doing the right thing
Industrious ———————– Artist

Ascent vs. Descent

The source breathes out existence (ex-is, meaning external isness, i.e. externalization).
And then breathes it (sucks it) back in.
This it the breath of the source, as it descends and ascends through the chakras.

ASCENT:
Every lower chakra serves the higher in ASCENT.
1c = Survival/security/stability is to serve 2c = Community
2c = Community serves 3c = Empowerment/human goals/service activity
3c = Power/goals serves 4c = Procurement of love
4c = Love serves 5c = Wisdom/Truth
5c = Wisdom serves 6c = Vision/Experience/Consciousness
6c = Consciousness serves 7c = Non-local beyond.

DESCENT:
Every higher chakra serves the lower in DESCENT.
7c = Non-local Beyond serves 6c = Vision/Experience/Consciousness
6c = Consciousness serves 5c = Wisdom
5c = Wisdom serves 4c = Love
4c = Love serves 3c = Power/human goals/service
3c = Power serves 2c = Community/Entertainment
2c = Community serves 1c = Survival/Security/Stability

Generally when we say, settle down in life what we refer to is a successful descent:
Using Consciousness and Wisdom (6c and 5c) – Finding what you love (4c) – Creating individuality, identity based on that (3c) – Finding a position in social circles and society with that identity, Finding a partner for a family (2c) – Using the resources and money gained for buying property, enjoying material prosperity/security/stability (1c).

The path of ascent however is the opposite movement.
One wants to go back to the source.
So from a position of relative stability/security(1c) – One seeks to find the source through community by becoming a disciple of masters (2c) – One then uses the inspiration of the masters to take responsibility for their own transcendence and becomes a ‘seeker’ (3c) – One seeks to find out what is in one’s heart and explores both its yin/yang sides (4c) – The heart then realizes its love for wisdom and pursues wisdom for its own sake (5c) – The wisdom develops and distills itself into pure polarities (6c) – Then finally the polarities are dissolved in the non-dual non-local source beyond (7c).

Creation and Destruction are not proportionate in this realm

Indulgence is not a good strategy because the rate of expending and regeneration is not the same.
The rates of regeneration and exhaustion are entirely different.
It is possible to break everything in one second but it takes a long process to create anything.
Creating harmony takes time, while creating disharmony is so easy.
It is so easy to make something ugly and chaotic, but so difficult to make something structured and beautiful.
It is so easy to waste energy and expend all of it very quickly but regeneration of that is not easy.
It is so easy to start a huge forest fire but it is so difficult for the forest to regenerate.
[Destruction] is so easy and takes no time at all while [Creation] is such a difficult/long/vulnerable process.
That seems to be the nature of this place.
The physical realm is esp. slow in its processes.
The next is the mental realm where destruction and generation can be much faster relatively.

How long does it take to create a stone sculpture, and how long would it take to break it?
It takes so many years to build trust, but it is so easy to entirely break it.
It takes so much effort to create an elaborate cultural system, but so easy to totally reject it and cast it aside.
To build a relationship takes so much of artfulness and effort, and it takes no time to just break everything.
How long did it take for the earth to flourish with all its creation/life/forms. Lets say it took 1 billion years.
It would take 1/billionth of the time to destroy the whole world with nuclear bombs.

How long does it take to create a complex machine? like your laptop. Think about all the labor that has gone into making every piece you see. And how long does it take to shatter it?
How long will it take for you to make a beautiful painting. You would have to learn the art over years, and develop your skills and then create a really beautiful one from all of that coming together. How long will it take me to destroy the painting? And if I kill you, I would have instantly killed all the intricate psychic structure you have created in your body-mind? (who knows how much we lose in death, whether we retain any of our specific learning/knowledge/memory at all).

Why this enormous difference between the power of creation and power of destruction.
Why can’t I be in a world where creation and destruction have the same power? That is true freedom isn’t it?
The only realm where that is true is in your pure imagination.
That is why I so prefer to stay there and not step down much into the world of becoming where destruction is disproportionately more powerful.
How is this place freedom?
The threat of destruction always looms and it relies on the restraint of all free agents. Everything is so hyper vulnerable here as a result.
How much can I control? 99% is out of my control?
The chances of my heart getting broken are 99% in this place.
It is so easy to destroy, but so difficult to create.
And 90% of stuff or more is driven by natural processes where only time and nurture can regenerate.
I cannot afford to be attached to anything here, because everything is so vulnerable to getting destroyed and even if I work day and night to protect my works I cannot truly secure anything.
The forces of creation are so so slow.

How long does it take to grow a baby? but it can be simply aborted in a few seconds.
This is not just for inanimate objects, but life itself that is so vulnerable here.
Life can be ended in a millisecond, but it takes so many years and decades to develop.
I can cut a tree with a chainsaw in less than a minute but how long it would take to grow that tree? 15 years?
I can raze a whole forest to the ground in a few hours, but it might take a whole century to grow that again – our whole lifetime and more.
Why is destruction literally a [Million] or [Billion] times more powerful here? – is the question I want to contemplate.

Fractal soul visions

Linear time is within a certain frame of reference staying constant.
Beyond linear time is circular time.
And beyond circular time are eternal higher dimensional realities etc.
It gets more and more abstract.

Sometimes when our visions get abstract enough we can see abstract gestalts/patterns repeating again and again like time running through a mobius strip.

For me, the common themes I wrestle with are between:
– Being and Non-being
– Becoming and Unbecoming
– Ground and Groundlessness
– Knowing and Unknowing
– Striving and Surrender
– Linear time and Non-linear time
– Attainment and Non-attainment
– Order and Chaos
– Enlightenment and Non-enlightenment
– Home and travel
– Knowledge and Innocence
– Reality and Illusion

I can explain some of these things with poetic visions.
Here are some of them below:

Vision 1:

abyssedge

I have 2 choices, stay with what I know (what is in my hand) or the other choice is to jump into an unknown abyss.
I am detached from what I have and so at times I get the courage and jump into the abyss.
Now imagine you fall and fall through the unknown but there is no ground and you land up again at a similar place where you were standing before and again there is the same choice – stick to what is in hand(known) or just into the abyss(unknown).
Again this repeats, I work on letting go of the known in hand and get the courage and jump, and this repeats again and again.
This is the play between knowing and unknowing
It is the play between ground and groundlessness

Vision 2:

dream

Imagine you are in a dream and you are trying to wake up, but every time you think you have woken up you later realize you have still been dreaming. And so you try to wake up again, and once again think you have woken up, only to realize soon after that you are still dreaming and have to work again to wake up.
This is the play between reality and illusion

Vision 3:

sandsculpture

I build myself up like a sand structure from the chaos of possibility of the sand on the ground.
I feel I have attained knowledge and being, but soon it falls back to the ground.
Then again I get inspired, and I build another structure, work on it and reach a milestone, only for it to go back to the ground again.
This is like a looping struggle to BE something and not fall back to non-being.
This can be seen as the play of order vs. chaos.
This can also be seen as the play of attainment vs. non-attainment.
It is also the play between becoming and unbecoming.

Vision 4:

Home

Imagine whenever you settled in a place, buy some things, make yourself a home there and create security for yourself, you feel its time to move. You have to move and leave everything behind, go through the grief, and do a similar settlement in your next spot, only for you to again get the impulse to move and do it again.
This is the play between home and travel.

Vision 5:

watchingmovie

Imagine you are sitting in a theater seat and watching a movie, and you go through the story with the hero suffering gains and losses. Suddenly you feel it is getting too much and you want to snap out of it and you come back to your theater seat. You realize that you were always in that seat, nothing has really changed, and the whole movie was an illusion. But then shortly after coming back to the theater seat and disillusioning yourself, you see something else interesting in the screen that once again enchants you, and you start to gain knowledge from investment. And this happens again and again.
This is the play between alternating enlightenment and non-enlightenment
This is the play between alternating knowledge and innocence.

 

The whole is your home

Home is the [largest perspective], the [whole’est perspective].
To leave home is to depart from this [largest perspective] into a [narrowed perspective].
All journeys away from home are journeys into [narrowed perspectives].
In fact the narrower your perspective gets, the more far away from home you go.
The most crazy journeys involve stepping into the most far out narrowed perspectives.

Home (metaphysically speaking) has little to do with your physical location or with certain people we call family etc.
Those are factors that ENABLE us to RELAX enough to ACQUIRE that kind of WHOLE PERSPECTIVE.
The more one relaxes and feel safe(the less the fear), the more that one can open up to the largest perspective.
And generally a physical location and known people (since you know them for many years they are much more predictable and cause the least anxiety/fear) is a good formula for our mammalian brain to PERMIT this ENLARGEMENT of PERSPECTIVE.

Since [Fear] is one of the biggest contractors of perspective, finding home is about finding freedom from fear.
Fear is what takes you away from home, and the absence of fear is what brings you back home.

Also, another important point is, [Right Action] comes from [Right View] (Buddha).
So the BEST POSSIBLE ACTION will always come from the WHOLE’EST PERSPECTIVE.
Narrower your perspective, the less you can see, and your action would be at a certain level of discord with the whole as a result.
A great demonstration of this principle is in the Samurai warrior training of Wu-shin(which means no mind).
They literally defocus their eyes on a neutral point far away, when enemies are running towards them with swords.
Imagine! Can you defocus and relax yourself like that when someone is coming to kill you with a sword?
For an ordinary person, his attention would almost get rapture’d and hyper focused on the sword alone and all he would see would be the sword and little else.
Think about it. If the samurai only focused on the sword, how would he take the best action?
The calmer you are, the less fearful you are = the broader your perspective = the better your action would be.
So ‘Home’ is also the place for the emanation of the best actions.
Whatever place keeps you in your highest spirits with least fear, will result in the BEST ACTIONS and BEST OUTCOMES.