The state of unconditional allowing

Colors Disco Ball

I feel like I am not yet born,
I feel like an endless work in progress,
I feel like this life is like a dream in the birth waters.
I feel like I am ceaselessly being transformed.

All the experiences, of heaven and hell, pass through me.
Like a spherical mirror that travels everywhere and reflects everything,
But holds nothing, and stays ever-pure in its essence.

The only thing I have to do is to let everything pass through.
Let the winds efface the sand sculptures.
Let the water waves efface the sand castles.
Let me be done and undone by the flows of all elements.
Each of the various realms/worlds/planes,
Will give bodies and reabsorb bodies as their play.
I am the ultimate dis-identified witness, watching the play.
The colorless light of the Ajna.

In a state of unconditional allowing I am free.
Simply free to fully live.

The body is like a million pressure sensitive key piano


If there are a million chemicals/neurotransmitters in the body,
Then who/what is the player of this hardware?
Is it prana? And the prana is controlled by the mind?
The mind is controlled from the intellect/knowing?
And then there is the blankness of deep sleep?
(using terms from the vedantic model)

So there is a physical form in the physical world.
There is a pranic form in the “pranic world/astral world”.
There is a mental form in the “mental world”.
There is a intellect form in the “intellect world”.
There is deep sleep dormancy of the seed, “causal world”.

So influences are transmitted from:
Deep sleep -> Intellect -> Mind -> Prana -> Physical body.
Through the 5 koshas (vedantic term).
So life force seems to be progressively cut off,
Until only one personality finally manifests in/as experience.

There are also various thresholds for activation in the brain areas.
Levels of activation: Say from RED/YELLOW(highest) to GREEN(moderate) to BLUE/VIOLET(lowest)
Like for instance, in PTSD, tiny cues may cause a lot of unpleasant areas to activate.
And if you repress something, then only a very high stimulus will make that portion activate.


Ajna Vision: There is only light and darkness

Life = Agni(Fire) = Spirit = Consciousness.
This is the only treasure, the first and the last, the one and only, the ultimate gift.

The world is infinite,
There are infinite worlds,
Infinite other beings/people/animals/life forms,
Infinite planes with infinite activities,
Infinite content springing forth all the time.
But only what you perceive is your experience,
And what you perceive is from your Agni/Life/Spirit.

It feels like so much complexity is happening,
But when I really see the essence piercingly,
I see that really it is only my dream,
That “appears and vanishes”,
Depending on the “infux and deflux” of life/spirit/agni into me,
Happening everyday in me taking the appearance of wake and sleep.

There is just an alternation of light and darkness, nothing else.
The complexities of each day are a play of the projector-light like a movie.
Either the projector is on or off, creating light and darkness,
That’s all I see from this depth.

Boundary violations in relationships

There are 2 poles to this:
Incoming boundary violation —– Distancing boundary violation.
The oppressor —and—- The abandoner.
The bully —and—- The hermit

The two are many a time a sort of a response to each other.
The one expecting incoming boundary violation, preemptively distances himself.
The one expecting distancing, pushes in as rapidly(oppressively) as possible.

In the extreme case of distancing, it would feel like the movie “I am legend” i.e. ambushed in a house by millions of zombies wanting to eat you up.
In the extreme case of the pursuer kind of person, they would get desperate and cling to every last straw of possible relation. Like a hungry hunter lost in the forest, and where every animal he tries to catch outruns him.

The distancing kind of relationship person is caused by trauma and fear of enmeshment.
The pursuer/chaser kind of relationship person is caused by trauma and fear of abandonment.

Another analogy for empathizing with these 2 positions = Police and the Thief.
The police chases, while the thief runs.
So we have a chaser and a runner.
Hell for the runner = having a million people chasing him everywhere.
Hell for the chaser = having a million runners but all faster than him.

For the distancer person, it is like hiding in a cave.
Since he actively avoids all relationship with any animals, the animals entering the cave to have a relationship with him would mostly be predators right? Who would sniffed have him from the outside itself and then entered the cave.
So this then reinforces the idea that the world is predatory, to the distancer person.

For the chaser person, they are like the starved-hungry wild animal,
Ready to devour anything in sight because they are super hungry, but every animal runs away from them.

The chaser person is essentially in a state of being starved.
While the distancer person is essentially in a state of being food-poisoned.
So both of them are living in 2 separate hells.
But they attract each other from being denizens of the same hell polarity.

Parenting possibilities

The different parent project types:
# Parents having vain projects (going nowhere, dead end) of their own.
Like eddies, going in circles, cyclical, virus like, dog chasing its own tail, neurotic + trying to draw you into that.
# Parents having successful projects (going somewhere in society, some vision, some longer term ideal etc.) of their own + trying to draw you into that.

Broadly speaking, here are the aspects:

1. Parents Recognizing The Independence Of The Child:
Positive parenting:
* 2 parents recognize the independence and support the independence of child.
Neutral parenting:
* 2 parents recognize the independence but do not support the child.

2. Parents Not Recognizing Independence Of The Child (purposely/unconsciously)
Treating the child like it is their product like their smartphone, designed to serve them, and they believe the child must be shaped as such.
Negative parenting:
* 2 parents trying to push their child in a common progressive project/direction they are already tuned into.
* 2 parents trying to push their child in a common vain direction they are already tuned into.
* 2 parents trying to push their child in different progressive directions, but tearing their child apart by the pulling. Here the child could choose any one path, but will disappoint the other parent.
* 2 parents trying to push their child in different vain directions, and tearing the child apart, uselessly. So in this case the child can take after neither parent and must find its own path, and end up disappointing both parents.

Sleep and Time

Sleep is the ultimate rejuvenator.
Every day you get around 7 hours (+-),
And it is non-negotiable.
If you use up 2 hours in the afternoon,
Then you get 2 less in the night.
Sleep is not something you can do.
You fall into it,
So there is no control.

It is like a gas station,
That allows only 1 refill per day for your vehicle.
Or like an ATM machine,
That dispenses a fixed amount to you everyday.
Or like your phone data plan,
Where you get 1gb/day and if you use it up early,
Then you would have extremely low speed until the next refill.

Sleep-Wake is a cycle.
It just goes round and round.
Time is all about cycles.
To be free from cyclic existence is to be free of time.

Look at your analog watch/clock,
Isn’t it a circle, with the hands going round and round?
The earth’s rotation gives day and night.
The moon’s phasing gives you a month
The cycles of the solar system give you your lifetime (84-120 years?)
The solar system, the arrangement of the sun, moon, and earth,
Work like a potters wheel,
Structuring life energy here into forms.

Time is an aspect/dimension of existence.
There are dimensions of existence beyond time.
When your vision has not grasped these cycles,
You think you are going somewhere,
But actually you are going round and round.
Like driving a car along a mobius strip.

Transcendence is when one rides the cycles of time,
Vs. being trapped in the cycles of time.

The soul themes

At an abstract level, we are tuned into themes themselves.
The theme is like a spectrum, a 2 poled rod.

For instance, the theme could be:
[…Poor —— Rich…]
Once tuned into that, your focus will be on that aspect of existence.
Both the poor and the rich are actually tuned into the same game of sorts.
Now, there is no absolute poor or rich.
It is all based in relativity.
So really it is only a long infinite line,
Spanning from poor on the left to rich on the right, with you in the center.
If you look to the left you are richer,
If you look to the right you are poorer.
So depending on how you draw your frame of reference,
You can position yourself as rich or poor,
As your relative position inside the frame you hold.
Only if you believe you are poor will you seek riches.
So you have to tune into that theme first and then position yourself in a frame to begin playing.
You will play the game until you achieve your ideal and neutralize.
Then you may move on to other themes.

Now just like the poor-rich theme,
There could be many many such themes.
Here is a list of some of them:
Knowledge —– Ignorance
Power —– Powerlessness
Pleasure —– Pain
Master ——- Student
Guru ——— Disciple
Wonder —— Mundane
Freedom —– Entrapment
High energy —- Low energy
Togetherness —– Aloneness
Relationships —- Loneliness
Ecstasy —— Depression
Health —— Disease
Positive body image —– Negative body image
Security —– Insecurity
Meaning —— Meaninglessness
High self esteem —– Low self esteem
High status —— Low status
Atonement —— Guilt
Ease —— Stress
Safety —— Fear
Order —— Chaos
Good ——- Evil
Right —— Wrong
Perfection —— Imperfection
Independence —– Enmeshment
Attractiveness —- Unattractiveness
Authenticity —– Fakeness
Joy —– Misery
Interests —– Boredom
Escapes —- Traps
Usefulness —– Uselessness
Transcendence —— Bondage
Flow/Harmony —– Friction/Conflict

People are generally invested in many such themes,
With different priorities depending upon their conditioning imprints.
Their explicit ego ideals and actions reflect their implicit position.
Like you want to get rich because you believe you are poor.
The poorer you believe yourself to be, the more unacceptable you feel it is, the stronger will be your drive to achieve the necessary riches to complete and neutralize.
So what themes are you invested in?
Something to contemplate.