Allotments of desire to serve or take responsibility

Abstractly seen,
There are “quotas/allotments of desires” functioning through us.
I think this is exactly what they call “Prarabdha karma”.
I feel we gravitate and are attracted to the ‘genetic instruments’ and ‘conditions’ that will be best suited to serve those desires.
‘Genetic instruments’ here refers to our choice of which human body to occupy for this lifetime.
And of course, this genetic instrument will be a child of many other surrounding conditions that will be like the larger body surrounding it.

To give an analogy:
Supposing you wanted to do a lot of professional video editing work and are continuously on the move, you might choose to buy a high end Apple Macbook Laptop for that purpose.
But suppose, lets say you wanted to play the latest AAA pc games which require the most powerful GFX card, and are mostly at home, then you might choose to buy a much bigger Desktop PC.
If you live in the US, you would get it cheaper, compared to buying it from India.
Similarly, in US you might also get many more options for the hardware components.

So based off that analogy, here in this case:
We choose an instrument from the choices available in the market,
To fulfill our requirements/desire/purpose.
We are also limited by what is available in the market at that point of time.
Just like how when we desire/need something,
We check out the local market at that time,
And make a choice from what’s available.
I think similarly, when taking birth here we might probably have a similar set of constraints.

Then there is the concept of responsibility.
I think responsibility is something we take up from our own desires.
Generally we refer to the overheads as responsibility.
For example, take the statement:
“I enjoy my smartphone, but I am responsible to keep it safe and in good condition”.
# Here the desire is to enjoy the functions/features/abilities of the smartphone.
# But the responsibility is the overhead of maintaining it, keeping it safe, and so on.
Another example would be, say our desire is for a monthly salary, then we would take up a job (take on some responsibility) so that we are paid that salary (which is the desire).
So in short, all responsibilities serve our desires.
Responsibilities are necessary overheads we take on for fulfilling our desires.
It is desires that is primary.
Responsibilities are its supporting function.

Next let’s cover ‘disposition and attitudes’.
Our personality/dispositions/attitudes are also ways to serve our desires only.
They are like the background/backdrop conducive factors.
For instance: Say I have the desire to be liked by everyone and avoid conflict.
Then naturally, the disposition I would adopt would be: ‘polite, pleasant, diplomatic, highly adaptable’.
So your disposition definitely conveys your desire.
But even here, desire is primary.
The disposition and attitudes are like conducive fragrances to attract the bees that you desire.

Another reason for birth could be for balancing out the personality.
For instance, say someone was an insensitive bully in his former life.
He could then choose a birth of being an artistic, sensitive, and weaker person to experience those opposite qualities.
That would satisfy his desire for balance and neutrality.
After all, we can truly move to non-duality only when we transcend all dualities, right?!
This is a dictum I learned from Teal Swan: “To heal from anything is to experience its opposite”.

So figure out what your real desires are.
And the things that you have taken up in your life to fulfill them.
This is more a contemplation on ‘why’ by conscious observation, and the goal is for ‘revelation’.
Even looking at your mundane life and tiny decisions, will reveal a lot of deeper things about yourself.

All real knowledge is from ‘Samyama’

This post will require some familiarity with ‘Patanjali’s yoga sutras’.
Referring to the terminology from the eight-fold path,
I’ve understood that all real knowledge is from ‘Samyama’,
Which is a combination of ‘Pratyahara + Dharana + Dhyana + Samadhi (union)’.
It is ‘Knowing by Being’ or ‘Knowing by Union-ing’ vs. ‘Knowing by Doing’.
You know everything through ‘direct absorption’ with the object.

In Vedanta, all knowledge is from:
‘Phala vyakti’ shining on ‘Vritti vyakti’.
That is ‘Reflected consciousness’ shining on ‘Modification of the mind stuff’.
We think objects exist external to us,
But in reality, everything that we know appears within us as a modification of our mind stuff.
So union-ing with the object is to union with the Vritti (mind-modification) of your own mind substance.

There is tons and tons more to say on this topic,
But I’ll leave this here as an introduction or segway.

Infinity is not a quantity but a quality

There is a dimensional gap between quantity and quality.
Because quality is immeasurable, analog, and infinite.
Any amount of quantity will still be “infinitely less” than infinity.

Experience by nature is qualitative.
Like consider a dream.
What is the nature of it? Is is measurable in any sense in space or time?
How large was it? How much time did it contain?

Even now, every scene you see is infinite,
But you can snap a 12MP digital photo of that using your camera.
The sound that you hear from your guitar is infinite,
But you can record a 128kbps Mp3 using a sound recorder.
The digitization process converts the pure infinite analog into bits to approximate the quality of it.
But the resolution of this captured information can never equal the infinite resolution/information present in the actual reality of creation.

Similarly our minds are like the digitized versions of what reality actually is.
The real “terrain” though is infinite.
Our minds are like captured maps from this terrain,
Like a combination of photos and illustrations.
The real nature of existence is unfathomable and beyond all logic.

The truth I have observed about love and devotion

From my own experiences I have seen,
For people to love you, you must love them first.
Then the reflection of that would come back to you as them loving you.
You may get varying levels of this reflection depending on the other and their receptivity/capacity.

People will be devoted to you, if you are devoted to them first.
Again the amount of reflection shining back on you would depend on the other.
If you are fully on, your job is done.

Once you are fully loving and fully devoted,
Then people will recognize and reflect this back to you based on their own openness, receptivity, and capacity.

Others loving you is only a security or utility experience for you.
It is only a 1st and 2nd chakra level security.
But you loving others, now that is the real experience of love.
That is the actual 4th chakra experience.

That is why I think Gandhi said “You be the change you want to see in the world.”
You stand for a cherished quality and turn yourself on in full measure,
And the rest will simply unravel.
Your work is finished, apart from deepening your own connection with it.

More on Sattva, Rajas, and Tamas.

The 3 states of energy manifestation are referred to as: Sattva, Rajas, and Tamas.
Tamas = The tendency of energy manifestation to maintain its current configuration.
Rajas = The tendency of energy manifestation to move in cyclic activity (or cyclic transformation activity)
Sattva = The tendency of energy manifestation to evolve or transform in a non-cyclic way.
These 3 states can coexist simultaneously in different proportions.

If I have to put it in a single word:
Tamas = Inertia
Rajas = Activity
Sattva = Evolution

I could abstractly picture them to be:
Tamas = Point (maintenance of configuration and solidity)
Rajas = Circle (cyclic activity or cyclic transformation)
Sattva = Line (non-cyclic transformation, evolution, moving towards the subtlest source in a straight line)
Rajas + Sattva = Spiral (circle + line)

All of physicality is basically tamas.
It is only because forms maintain their integrity over time, they are experienced as a persistent reality.

The food chain (i.e. transformation cycle of life forms), birth and death cycle etc. also comes under Rajas.
The wheel of Samsara I would say is Rajas.

Sattva is spiritual seeking, learning, yielding to the higher realities,
And transforming oneself and one’s understanding.
A life form transforming and moving closer to its source,
Or to subtler and subtler planes is sattvic.

Resonance, Attraction, the time-shaft dimension of a person

Every person we meet has a past, present, and future.
“…Past self —— Present self ——- Future self…”
People are like flowing rivers.
And when you meet them, you are meeting their river at that time and place.

All interaction is only possible only because of resonance.
Without resonance, the others would not even appear in your experience.
You mingle/jibe/sync with the person only through the resonance you both share.
In other words, you see them within you, through how they appear/form within your space and its filtering structures.

Understanding this resonance can be a very subtle job.
It could be a positive or negative kind of ‘energy investment’ resonance.
For example: Both liking or hating the same thing.

Another possibility is, it could be resonance with the thing but not with the relationship to that thing.
For instance: Say both are obsessed with the idea of beauty.
One of them trying to become beautiful with the other actively rebelling against the idea of beauty and doing the opposite.
The commonality here is, both are focused/fixated/locked onto, and have their cathexis/emotional investment set on the same theme/field/topic/idea, although with differing/opposing relationship.

So there is the resonance from:
# What idea you focus on
# Relationship towards that idea
The first bullet point creates the “shared reality/shared frame of reference”, which is the primary resonance.
The second bullet point, that is, the relationship towards that shared frame is the secondary resonance.
This is because if the 2 do not see/share the reality/frame as the first step, then no interaction is possible at all.

Another element of this is consciousness.
# 2 people could come from the same cultural background and share that deep resonance,
But they could be completely unconscious of it.
They both may not see that shared resonance as an object at all in their experience.
# On the other hand, if there is consciousness of the resonance, then there is also consciousness of the object that is resonated with. And this implies that the person is seeing from a point of view that is transcendent of the object.

This is actually a necessary precondition for all consciousness of any object.
All consciousness requires transcendence, that is to see something clearly as an object in your experience, requires ‘you’ to see from an ‘identity space’ that is transcendent of that object.
All consciousness needs contrast.
The ‘transcendent reality’ provides a contrast to everything we experience here.
Union-ing with that, allows for the greatest clarity and unifying vision of everything here.

Let’s now look into the time dimension:
What the other values/cherishes/desires/longs/strives for, represents their future self.
That is what they will become, or that is the direction of their movement.
They are drawn towards certain possibilities, and if you are also attracted towards a similar direction/possibility, then that also is a resonance shared.

In a way, seen from a 5-D perspective, every person is tracing a time mandala.
From the 5-D perspective, the entire mandala is already there, it is only a matter of time.
Like how a cassette or DVD already has the entire recording, but it is played out in time.
So there could be a 5-D resonance too. Some kind of complementary time mandalas in deep relationship with each other.
This is what is called soul connection I believe.
Basically a referent used to point to a much deeper higher dimensional resonance/relationship/attraction/complement-ality.

Sometimes the attraction to the other is because they represent a possibility/potential that we desire, but we are unable to be/become or own that due to various reasons.
This could be 5-D or even 6-D based.
# 5-D based attraction would be something you could potentially become, but you may be having many other preoccupations and constraints, it may involve too many sacrifices, compromises, guilts, fears, restructuring, and so on.
# 6-D based would be something that is impossible for you to become in this birth given your conditions. For instance, if I wanted to be a billionaire’s child, that is a 6-D possibility because it is impossible in this current birth no matter what choices/decisions/investments I make. It is then more like a parallel universe, that can only be lived in the imagination.
Imagination is the Ultimate Bridger of all worlds and possibilities.

About Achievement

Achievement = The feat of Becoming.
It is like building a skyscraper and reaching peaks.
The taller the skyscraper, the more stable the foundation and base has to be.
Another analogy is, the harder the ground on which you stand, the higher you can jump and land.
The strength of the base/foundation/anchor is what you depend and rely upon,
To ascend and to straddle through the highest peaks.

Strong personalities in the world have strong anchors, a strong support system.
This stability/anchoring/foundation can be got in many ways.
Through conscious commitment to some ideal/values,
Through developing strong stable relationships by stable ways of relating,
And so on.

The greatest foundation imo is Gyana/Truth/Dharma/Transcendence.
It seems to be the greatest refuge/anchor, like an iron ox,
To ride through the flux of change/time.

The negative, balanced, and positive

Negative |||||| (fighting to survive) |||||| –Balanced/0– |||||| (enhancing self) |||||| Positive.
The self is a structure.
The world is a structure.
The [changing structure of the self] is in a [changing relationship] with the [changing structure of the world].
The 3 happen together and play out as a singular dream of experience.
It is not that any of them is causing the other to happen, though it may appear to be.

# When the world appears to not only maintain the self but also enhance it, there is the experience of nurture, pleasure, and the positive.
# When the world appears to not only not enhance, but also actively violate and attack the self structure, there is the experience of fighting/adapting/resisting to survive, felt as war, pain, and the negative.
# When the world appears to simply maintain you in a kind of zero gain arrangement, it is felt as balance, where there is neither enhancement nor depreciation and things just go on cyclically with no net change.

Creativity for me is best when it is twilight

Creativity is at its best for me in twilight (metaphorically speaking).
Very bright lights/loud sounds = Make me purely receptive and outer focused (all senses are basically receptive in nature, right)
Very low light/low sounds = Make me sleepy and comatose.
So when there is just the right amount of visual/sound intensity,
I can simultaneously access the inner and outer spaces,
And let the outer cues stimulate the inner space well.
The thresholds of sensitivity may however vary from person to person.

Creativity is an “inside -> out” action.
While, sensing is an “outside -> in” action.
There is ‘sensory appetite/hunger’.
When that is adequately satisfied,
Naturally, there is a sort of retreat to the dark to digest/process it all.
This processing is then what I think is often the source of creative works.