The unspeakable torture possible from the mother

This is to speak about a case where the mother clings to the infant stage of the child’s growth, and actively and violently opposes its development and independence beyond that stage, so as to keep getting great narcissistic supplies from the child of “adoration/respect/desirability/admiration/grandiosity/greatness/praise” and enjoy a god like feeling of power and omnipotence in comparison to the child.

Remember, all power is relative.
So the power differential between the infant and the mother is the greatest possible difference.
The mother can get instantly addicted to THIS level of narcissistic supply from the child, and this will esp. happen if the mother did not have any life of her own and had a dependent personality before the event of child birth.
Once deeply addicted to this care-giving and protecting role, the mother may actively oppose the child’s independence, be hostile to the developing child beyond the age of 2 itself.
The mother can actively reinforce the dependence again and again ad infinitum, conveying that “you need me, you cannot live without me” in a million ways said and unsaid.
Such a mother focuses the child only on itself, and the child sacrifices its own self-awareness to please the mother developing codependence.
Really after all the origins of codependence is the narcissistic parent who purposely enforces dependence in subliminal, indirect, and direct ways, and actively opposes the child’s developing separation and independence, so that they can have an endless source of narcissistic supply and meaning from the child.
Often they also cleverly hide it by programming the child to believe, it was its own choice to be that way, and that it can’t help it.
They may even keep telling the neighbors and friends things like “my child needs me for everything, they are such a burden, I keep telling them to do things by themselves, but they keep coming back to me, what can I do?!”
This is just the narcissists game.
This is a microcosmic version of the game of training a slave to believe that he is actually not a slave, but is choosing from his free will.
It all starts at this level.

Just like doctors who save patients are considered to be doing a divine profession higher in value and weight than most other professions, mothers are given this kind of deification and supreme value too.
So a mother can exploit this for a long time, by actively working to keep the child dependent on her and opposing the child’s development/independence in every crooked, unspeakable mystical way possible.
I can elaborate on all those psychic techniques but that may detract from the main points I want to convey in this post.

This can be experienced as extreme suffocation, stifling, and pain, for the child.
But since it is programmed to idolize the mother, it can never imagine going against the mother.
So it condemns itself, and thinks it is the real problem, and the god-like omnipotent mother is always right.
It thinks if it is pained by the mother, it is because, it is defective and needs to be fixed.
And later in life this may slide to depression if it loses all hope after trying out everything and failing.
In truth, this whole thing was really engineered and transmitted from the mother herself.
In the progression of this myth, from this child’s point of view, total powerlessness and despair and depression is an EXPECTED stage that has to be passed.

The mother’s relationship has to keep evolving as the child evolves/grows/matures/separates/independent-izes itself.
So for different people this happens at different times, depending upon the stage of development the mother herself is in.
If the mother herself identifies with being a helpless infant, then she resonates with the child only at that stage, and the child cannot grow beyond that, because it directly faces the threat of losing resonance with the mother.
So the child is then forced to stay infantile even in its later years.
It may be successful in society, but internally its egoic climate is still at the level of the infant only.
So the child may find himself/herself as helpless, powerless, at the mercy of circumstances, unable to establish any identity, and constantly wandering aimlessly.
It may find itself as hyper-sensitive, easily hynotizable and living in a dream-like feeling all the time, and many other such feelings.
It becomes like a Bonsai(miniature) tree, that has grown but not been allowed to grow at the same time.
Often, the child may feel this as a global feeling of being trapped in an incredibly oppressive world, and may become apathetic and depressed from the impossible struggle it would take to change anything in its favor.
Really, this projection of such a tyrannical world, has its roots in the tyrannical mother herself, because it was the mother who was tyrannical in the sense of opposing the child’s independence, and that is later felt by the child as a tyrannical world view itself.

What I speak about here is of unspeakable depth.
Things far less deep, are spoken about so much in society, as so called deep issues.
Real power is always invisible, and the power that is visible is always much lower.
For example here, the mother-child bond is done in secrecy, in the darkness, in great trust.
Nobody ever questions it, and you are shamed even if remotely begin to investigate.
This is a giant taboo in society, because any questioning of it breaks its supremely sanctified and sacred status.
My point is, great wonders and horrors can happen at this stage, at intensities even beyond the most powerful psychedelics.

There has always been extensive talk in society about abusive husbands etc.
Imagine a hyper-possessive husband who keeps his wife like his possession and pet, and pleases her when he wants, beats her up when he wants.
Basically keeps her like his trophy wife, seals her from the outer world, prevents her from having any life outside of him, and controls her like a pleasure-giving slave.
Does this horrify you?
Now, this example I gave above is a weak analogue of the mother-infant situation I describe.
Think about it: What is power? Isn’t all what we call power, a relative concept?
The relativity comes from the power difference.
What is the difference of power between this man and woman living as husband and wife?
And compare that to the difference between a mother (say aged 25+) and an infant(age 0-2)?
The mother for the infant is like an omnipotent god-like being and giant.
But you know what, society will speak endlessly about male violence against women etc.
And this mother-infant dyad, is shrouded, kept under wraps and wraps, sanctified, deified, and any torture that you faced here gets buried as YOUR shame, unspeakable shame of phenomenal intensity.

My point here is not to entirely blame the mother.
The mother herself maybe unconscious of her real power, and how much she affects the infant (the other developing being).
I might have pushed some buttons in this article, but this is in the interest of really looking into this territory of deep psyche experience.
Even if you are a woman, you were also brought up by your mother, so this is not gender-specific.
The purpose of this article, is to illuminate this realm, and to awaken people to it so that they can heal themselves and gain their own insights about their own deep psyche.

We all love the child

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We all love the child
Who dances like nobody is looking
Who sings like nobody is listening
Whose joy radiates and influences others
Who is spontaneous without a care
Who involves himself into you, giving no heed to your history
Who celebrates each moment in the mood of wonder
Who looks at the ordinary like it’s extraordinary
Who bears within him vast potentials
Whose total absence of self-consciousness is refreshing
Who invests in the moment like there is no tomorrow
Who trusts you so fully to be oblivious in your arms
We recognize the child, because that is us
The lost part of us, the treasure we have lost
Which we are seeking to reclaim

Everything is dancing the wonder of god

Everything is dancing the wonder of god, but none can know god, except through their own highest vision, and dying more and more into it, to get higher and higher.
All metaphors and inspirational works of art, poetry, metaphysics, science etc. – none of them are god – rather all these works of creation are closer and closer to god, pointing towards the unfathomable center(infinite point).
Beings closer to god have more creation power (if we define god as the ultimate power of creation).
The greatest among us beckon us(not out of fear/control but pure inspiration), so that we may discover and live in our own higher potential.

My philosophy of life (At the moment)

Life is a mystery/unknowable (to the mind). Life is absurd.
Life transcends meaning. Life transcends every-thing. Life transcends duality. Life is ONE/non-dual.
Life is unimaginable and un-understandable.
Life is beyond anything I can think and is beyond any “web of concepts”.
Life is beyond any “conceptual frames/grids/nets/hierarchies”.
The ‘Why’ question is the creative question that generates/reveals/pours in meaning structures/philosophies when contemplated upon.
All is already existing. We simply tune into different creations that ALREADY exist.
It is like how we spawn into a dream, it all appears simultaneously and instantaneously, all at once.
The realities are already available in their full splendor and infinity.
Your structure is what determines what reality manifests for you.
That is why, change yourself -> change your reality.
A certain structure gives you options to tune into certain realities.
Subtler the structure, more the freedom.
But more life energy is needed to power subtler structures.
Everything is complexified/richer/vaster in subtler structures.
Everything comes from nothing (not nothing as a concept, the real nothing).
The real nothing is the “infinite” itself.
All is appearance.
Everything is real and not real. Like a mirror.
The mirror is that which has no image of its own, but reflects images.
So the mirror images are both fully real and unreal at the same time, just like appearances.
Another analogy would be the “Screen”.
The screen can show anything, but it chooses to show this appearance now.
My deepest true nature potential is of an infinite potential screen.
But I see an apparent choice to have this appearance and movement/flow right now.
Its like I have chosen to allow a journey to my infinite nature from a finite world.
Libido = Eros = Interest = Love = Passion = Investment
We have a spectrum of drives from:
Thanatos (the death instinct) ——————————- Eros (love)
All experience tones fall in the spectrum:
Fear —————————- Love.
All this philosophy I wrote now is just the appearance at this moment.
I can whip a totally different philosophy tomorrow (certain general themes may repeat but only in a very abstract level).
There is extraordinary creativity and change each and every day. Everything changes.
The parts that do not change are like frozen images in a mirror.
There is a spectrum again of:
Infinite creativity ————————– Total determinism.
All this philosophy I have written is like a one spec of sand, through which reality can be constructed.
There are trillions of other philosophies/narratives/belief structures, that would create entirely different realities.
One feels a faintest glimpse of this freedom of reality choice on LSD.
This is my conceptual web right now. It is simply flowing out of me as I write this.
All I have now is feelings. I am translating them into logical language expressions and this expression is flowing out from the feelings and their potentials.
I can write like this forever, there is so much to say.
It is like describing a mountain, how many words would it take to describe a mountain? That’s the kind of writing I am doing now.
And this is just one mountain.
And like I said earlier, this entire mountain with its infinite detail is only 1 structure and is like 1 grain of sand in a beach containing trillions of other such grains, which can spawn trillions of realities.
Also as I am writing, I am also co-creating my feeling experience by creating this structure in my “Temporary Thought Space” (bridging my conceptual, intuitive-feeling mind)
I am feeling the sensation of infinity the more I write, and I am actively imagining and co-creating with my own writing, allowing my imagination and thought space to flow with it.
The essence of life is change.
Change = Life = Mystery = Aliveness = Magic/Miracle = Unknown = Freshness
The known is dead.
Every experience I am having at each moment can be appercepted/recognized and seen as new/fresh.
Kundalini is the life force energy. Kundalini = Spirit.
Spirit -> Soul -> Ego.
Kundalini is the giver of life and death.
Life and death at a lower level, creates insight at the higher level that witnesses.
Life after death is absolutely unimaginable.
There are various various hypothesis, conceptual webs with their mechanics to explain what will happen after death.
Each one is based on various extrapolations from observations in our current reality.
But why should death follow any such causality? It can be ANYTHING/the most unimaginable which is what my intuition says.
I have multiple-multiple channels in the television set of my brain.
My structure gives me access to innumerable amount of wondrous possible worlds.
But it needs life energy/spirit/electricity to run.
So you have a spectrum of experience of life energy availability:
Dark night of soul/depression —————————– Ecstasy/Wonder/Joy
Life is art. Every philosophy is creation/artistry.
Art/Creativity/Novelty/Beauty can function across all levels of being.
The beauty is in the gestalt/tapestry, it is an emergent property.
What must one do in life? – There is nothing that one “must” do.
Its all an exploration, its all a lila/play.
We are co-creators in the thought of God/higher power/oversoul.
Follow your love/joy/passion/highest excitement/deepest values/light.
Live up to your transcendental ideals.
Choose effort or effortlessness, its your choice.
There is nothing to attain, unless of-course you choose to play the game of attainment.
The mystery of life is simply unimaginably beyond anything that can even be conceived.
I would end with a quote from Terrence Mckenna “Life is not stranger than you suppose, it is stranger than you CAN suppose”