The mechanics of fear, desire, love, and hate

The mechanics of fear and love,
Is such a massively deep topic to explore.

I often wonder:
Is it possible to really be indifferent?
Is it possible to be without relationship?
Is it possible to really stay separate?
Is it possible to be neutral?
Is it possible to neither love nor hate?

From my intuition, it seems like that is not possible.
Life being a dynamic verb, nothing it still.
So everything has to move towards expansion or contraction?

It feels like that force that maintains and forwards unconsciousness and ignorance,
Is in the hate (contraction) direction,
While the force that maintains and forwards consciousness and knowledge,
Is in the love (expansion) direction.
Since all things are in polarity,
Whatever we invest and expand into, will inevitably disinvest and shrink its opposite?

I see everything is a state of pulsation in nature,
Like the heart beat, expanding and contracting.
Birth is like the expansion influx (like the inbreath),
Death is like the contraction deflux (like the outbreath).
I see birth and death as the alternating pulse between sound and silence.
The sound of creation booms into the manifest as birth,
And at death there is the return to silence/uncreated?

I feel like the experience of life is like music.
With multiple overlayed pulses of all kinds of instrument and voice timbers.
A multidimensional flow of pulses.
So then, both fear and love are as natural as expansion and contraction?

I have noticed that,
I fear all that I have an antagonistic relationship towards.
So maybe the presence of fear itself…,
Is revealing the antagonistic relationship present?
I wonder,
Is fear the ‘anticipatory recreation’ of the experience,
Of the repercussions/reaction from the other,
To my own antagonistic attitude towards the other,
Being mirrored back to me?

So then are fear and love, direct experiences,
Of the mirrored attitudes/relationship we hold towards the other entities we encounter?

Another aspect is self-hatred.
That is a condition where there is a projection of value and worth on the other,
While the self is cast to the shadow of unconsciousness/hate/shame.
There is then a constant focus on the other or on transcending oneself.

So here there are some interesting relationships I see.
When there is self-hatred of one’s body and its strength,
There is fear of other bodies and their strength.
I think here, the fear comes from the war with the conscious and unconscious identifications.
Unconsciously there is identification with the body,
But that is not supported by the conscious identification which is caught up with the other,
So the unconscious identification generates fear as resistance,
When you pursue the other.

So somewhere I wonder,
If we take extreme cases,
Like fear of a ghost/monster,
Is that the dissociated unconscious fragment of us,
That we have disowned,
That is getting attracted to us,
Because of our deeper desire for integration and wholeness?
Isn’t our worst fear that we will become the ghost?
That total assimilation/transformation is the terror.
What will happen to us,
If we let everything in?

Also I used to wonder about the fear of falling.
I have that fear because somewhere I desire to fall like that.
So is my intensity of fear of falling proportional to the intensity of desire I have to fall?
Is the intensity of fear I feel for death proportional to my own desire for death?

Fear and Desire seem inseparable like 2 sides of the same coin.
It seems like each is a resistance to the other.
Desire is a resistance to Fear.
Fear is a resistance to Desire.

Another thing I am reminded of is the story of the beauty and the beast.
The beast gets converted into the prince out of love.
Would this be true for all that fear?
That all that is feared if consciously loved,
Will become flowers from filth?
The ground of filth when nurtured by nature,
Becomes flower and fruit right?

Are all that we love/hate/desire/fear,
Are they all nothing but our own Self?

Supposing we want total wholeness and totally open ourselves up,
To attracting all of the unconscious to us back into our consciousness,
Will it result in a total war and destruction of all of our identity?
Is that what happens in enlightenment?
Is that the ultimate transformation?

The self here is the subset of qualities owned vs. the superset of all qualities in existence.
That division is what created self-other and the concept of relationship itself.
Love-Hate are like Yin-Yang.
The black fish has a white eye,
And the white fish has a black eye.
So total love and total hate do not exist and cannot exist.
Just like no absolute quality can exist without its opposite.
Going into total-hate or total-love,
Will result in transcendence to a dimension beyond duality.

These are some of my contemplations.
I’ll stop here for now.

The whole moves the whole

Peintures

The whole moves the whole (truth)
No part moves the whole (illusion of agency)
No part moves another part (illusion of causation)
The whole has no history (story/narrative illusion)
It is ever refreshing, ever renewing (dance of the ONE)
The whole is alive (I am aliveness)

What are we really responsible for?

butterflyeffect

On Facebook, nowadays I see a bunch of posts that show an emotion provoking video of some injustice done, and then people would be reacting to that with either anger, crying, or sadness emoticons. Like there was a video of male chicks being got rid of because they were not useful by allowing them to drown in water. I mean I did feel quite sad seeing that graphic video. But the recommendation and strong messages were: Every-time you eat meat, this is what you are condoning.

So I thought through that more deeply.
My every action enables every kind of abuse too, like every product in the supermarket contains the labor of the whole universe that went into making that.
The degree and proximity varies, but you know, I could have this reasoning for everything, like I could say the clothes you are wearing is from the exploitation of workers in Bangladesh and then show a really sad video about their toil and thereby recommend that you stop wearing clothes?
If that is true for every single thing, then not taking the action of eating chicken isn’t helping anything in the larger picture, right?
A reactionary action like that is not coming from a seeing of the whole.
This is the same issues with SJWs too. That just looks like tribalism to me.

I could do a DNA test on you, and then prove you are a descendant of Genghis Khan and thereby declare that you have his blood and sins on your hands.
Isn’t that same reasoning also applied for Jesus? That his blood is on your hands?
Where does this end?
What are we really responsible for?
Taking this thought all the way, I am responsible for every single evil and injustice and enabling that in some way.
This can always be proved by some intelligent person, who picks up a theme and ties the thread of connection so that it lands on your lap.
It is like the butterfly effect principle, and if all the connections are shown to someone, they would be bewildered by the responsibility that is revealed.
“Wholeness is a kind of attitude” – said by David Bohm, and I really agree with him on that, and that it is actions taken from that attitude that would really help.