A fantasy of sex and union

Why can’t all women fully surrender,
And receive sex from all men unconditionally? freely?
Why can’t all men fully surrender,
And give sex to all women unconditionally? freely?
With no judgments, rules, restrictions, laws, and boundaries?
Why can’t we just live in an “endless orgy” until we leave this plane?
Why can’t everything just have sex with everything else all the time?
Why can’t there be limitless pleasure of libido?
Instead of it happening just for seconds at a time as the orgasm?
Why can’t everyone just be in an eternal orgasm?
Why can’t all control just end?
Why can’t everything just merge and flow as one?
With no concept of possession?
Where all “desire” is instantly received everywhere and instantly gratified?
Why can’t there be free-love everywhere?
Why can’t there be no disease, suffering, pain, resistance etc.?
Wish there was no such thing as self-preservation,
And its consequent emotions of disgust/fear/threat.
Wish everything just mingled into one flow/dance.
With the cohesion of water, and like a single emerging grand tapestry.
Where “everyone and everything” transforms “everyone and everything”.
And where everyone is part of the hologram, but identified with the whole hologram and its total play.

Only the field exists, you do not

The whole unitive journey is about: becoming the field/surrendering/dissolving/merging into it totally.
Once united, what you are doing then, is what the field is doing.
And it does so automatically and effortlessly, of itself.

You are then simply in a state of absolute transparency, allowing, devotion, until you are not there at all, and only the field is.
RULE: “You are, when the field is not. When the field is, you are not”
So the field is not on your terms.
It is on its own terms.
The field is like the father who is driving.
The son/separate self is like the one with the toy steering that thinks he is driving.
The more ambitious the son, the more obviously he would realize that he was not in control and never was.

RULE: “Only the field exists, you do not exist.”
“You” are an illusion, stemming from ignorance.
There is a singular whole, and that is the only doer.
RULE: “The whole moves the whole, no part moves the whole, no part moves another part.”
RULE: “The same energy that makes the sun come up, the stars shine, the birds chirp, is the same energy that moves me and my experience.”
Relinquish all control and “let go/merge/unite/be/dissolve/align/drop/become one” with the field.
Only the field exists.

My main practice

– Stay as the mirror mind: All is a moving reflection of the unnamable. Nothing more, nothing less.
– Surrender/Let go/Release all “formations” and “contractions” of energy. That is the only doing/undoing.
– Propriocept the subtlest sensation. Stay as silent/receptive as possible.

Converting Depression into Flow

The thing about depression is that, it is only seen in relativity.
There is some benchmark of performance, ability, condition that you are comparing your current state against.

The 2 broad relativity elements:
– One element is relativity w.r.t other people and their state of mind you observe/intuit/vicariously feel/experience/empathize with.
– The other element is relativity with your own happy memories and memories of other freer states of mind with higher possibilities.

To avoid the 1st relativity, you can isolate yourself.
To avoid the 2nd relativity, you can try to absorb your mind in something.

If there is an “interest potential” present in the mind, and you can simply tap into that. Like something you really want to read about, a video you wanted to watch etc. In my experience, there is always something the mind is most interested in – at every moment.
We think of the mind as a noun, a thing.
But actually it is a verb, a flow, a movement.
Without movement of the mind, you would be in deep sleep.
So one method is to simply BE and FLOW as the whole mind, and let it go where-ever it wants to. You will notice in this approach, the mind will automatically after a while center itself on some core issues, road block in your life that is troubling you.

Generally, if a deep need of yours is not fulfilled, the mind will naturally get preoccupied with that. So one way to avoid resistance and struggle is to surrender to whatever interest appears. It can be anything. Many a times, this spontaneous interest might be quite out of line, with what you would like yourself to be/think/do/act etc. But those images are precisely the ones that need to be surrendered. That way, the mind can simply flow with whatever movement it naturally has.
It will naturally mobilize and center itself in the direction of your core issue/problem if you just allow it. It will eventually settle on your deepest longings.

The main suffering here is of NOT ACCEPTING the states of longing, desperation, looping thoughts, obsessions, fixations, chaos, slowness, heaviness, debilitation, fatigue, emptiness, guilt, regret, feeling sorry, pity, anger, rage, uneasiness, unpleasantness, physical pain, stuckness of forces, despair regarding where to move.
So if you just allow the whole mind to flow, it will take you down a deep rabbit hole and solve everything as it goes through that. Your life experience may change in unimaginable ways and you may comprehend mystical insights far above your current level.