Negative |||||| (fighting to survive) |||||| –Balanced/0– |||||| (enhancing self) |||||| Positive.
The self is a structure.
The world is a structure.
The [changing structure of the self] is in a [changing relationship] with the [changing structure of the world].
The 3 happen together and play out as a singular dream of experience.
It is not that any of them is causing the other to happen, though it may appear to be.
# When the world appears to not only maintain the self but also enhance it, there is the experience of nurture, pleasure, and the positive.
# When the world appears to not only not enhance, but also actively violate and attack the self structure, there is the experience of fighting/adapting/resisting to survive, felt as war, pain, and the negative.
# When the world appears to simply maintain you in a kind of zero gain arrangement, it is felt as balance, where there is neither enhancement nor depreciation and things just go on cyclically with no net change.
The descent into chaos
Essentially this experience of mine,
Is a descent into chaos,
Where my body loses its coherence,
And organizes itself around a swarm of chaotic desires,
That form the full backdrop of my experience (as shown in the picture),
While the foreground has me doing all the usual jobs to survive.
It feels like the state in-between lives,
Like a kind of bardo,
Like the night sky full of stars (unlimited possibilities),
Vs. the sunny sky (few overruling possibilities).
But this chaos is also the breeding ground,
For offshoots of creativity,
Because of the sheer awareness of swarms of possibilities.
I feel like I’m swimming in the very same ocean of chaos,
That the psychotic drowns in,
Because my eyes are open here in this ground.
I intuit that this seems like the precondition for psychological rebirth,
Where when the season is right,
A certain powerful creative influx will spring me out of this place/phase,
And organize my life into the next higher freq struct.
This lack of organization diminishes vitality though,
And puts me in a state closer to death.
Birth is really a state where an desire/inspiration seed is sprouting.
So in this case, one sort of returns closer to the seed,
Which is likely to sprout again from a new desire/inspiration,
When the outer conditions are favorable, like the Spring season.
Birth is like Spring, Death is like Winter, for the seed.
The cycle of seasons continue,
Resulting in cycles of birth and death continuously,
Until one transcends in their identity,
And when all desires are sublimated.
Birth and Death follow each other.
Every death heralds a birth following it.
This is the principle.
How long it takes is not as relevant,
That is only a matter of degree.
All qualities simultaneously exist
Sometimes, I keep taking the opposite position and arguing with people.
Many a time, I feel compelled to take the opposing position.
Then I contemplated, and wondered about ‘why do I do that’.
One of the reasons I felt was,
To attain independence from people.
To test whether I could hold the opposite view vs. the person in front of me,
Instead of always getting absorbed into their point of view.
But this would often be really difficult for me.
Because I would end up seeing their point of view too,
Which would not only dilute my position,
But often even completely overshadow it.
Also, I realize that this does not give me any real independence,
Because this is still based on the other’s position only,
It is a reaction and not a true action.
I allow the other’s position to completely fill my inner space because:
# I want to maintain harmony with them.
# Because if I don’t then it will lead to vain/futile resistance and may be a threat to my well-being.
But within me, my inner space is so mercurial that it is quite hard to see what I want or feel about anything.
Everything could substantially dramatically shift in a dime.
Everything is so mutable and changeable, it’s hard for me to access my foundation.
This inability to ground into or take/maintain/forward a position/perspective,
Makes me feel quite powerless.
Because conventionally power is associated with force.
And unless you structure yourself into some position, no force can be created.
“Identity structures/foundation” are what generate force.
For instance, a tiger is completely grounded in its instinctual structures.
So the tiger carries enormous force in its very being.
You cannot talk it out of being a tiger.
Maybe I am somewhat disconnected from my animal nature and instincts,
Which is what makes me feel like I’m living in an “imaginative field”.
(This could have been a dissociation survival adaptation to high levels of childhood neglect/abuse/violation from others.)
I am profoundly confused as to what is my relationship with others or with the world/society itself.
On the plus side, since I can see all perspectives/points of view,
In the simulator function of my brain or imagination,
I gain a systems/ecological vision of things.
An impersonal w-holistic vision which is not about any particular thing or particular identity.
And it is easy for me to see that the only doer is god/field/consciousness,
And that everything is a temporal appearance.
After constantly living in a soup of all superimposed positionalities,
I realized that trying to polarize myself,
To any one extreme polarity,
In any of the dimensions,
With my efforts,
Has been the cause for a lot of strife within me.
I realized that I can:
# Neither be not affected, nor can I be affected completely.
# Neither be totally powerful, nor can I be totally powerless.
# Neither be completely good, nor can I be completely bad.
# Neither be completely with, nor can I completely avoid.
# Neither be completely clear, nor can I be completely unclear.
# Neither be completely truthful, nor can I be completely false.
# Neither be fully right, nor can I be fully wrong.
# Neither be completely loving, nor can I be completely hateful.
So this kind of throws light on my fundamental resistance to life.
Because life happens on its terms, while I am struggling against it.
Many a time, I feel compelled to take the opposing position.
Then I contemplated, and wondered about ‘why do I do that’.
One of the reasons I felt was,
To attain independence from people.
To test whether I could hold the opposite view vs. the person in front of me,
Instead of always getting absorbed into their point of view.
But this would often be really difficult for me.
Because I would end up seeing their point of view too,
Which would not only dilute my position,
But often even completely overshadow it.
Also, I realize that this does not give me any real independence,
Because this is still based on the other’s position only,
It is a reaction and not a true action.
I allow the other’s position to completely fill my inner space because:
# I want to maintain harmony with them.
# Because if I don’t then it will lead to vain/futile resistance and may be a threat to my well-being.
But within me, my inner space is so mercurial that it is quite hard to see what I want or feel about anything.
Everything could substantially dramatically shift in a dime.
Everything is so mutable and changeable, it’s hard for me to access my foundation.
This inability to ground into or take/maintain/forward a position/perspective,
Makes me feel quite powerless.
Because conventionally power is associated with force.
And unless you structure yourself into some position, no force can be created.
“Identity structures/foundation” are what generate force.
For instance, a tiger is completely grounded in its instinctual structures.
So the tiger carries enormous force in its very being.
You cannot talk it out of being a tiger.
Maybe I am somewhat disconnected from my animal nature and instincts,
Which is what makes me feel like I’m living in an “imaginative field”.
(This could have been a dissociation survival adaptation to high levels of childhood neglect/abuse/violation from others.)
I am profoundly confused as to what is my relationship with others or with the world/society itself.
On the plus side, since I can see all perspectives/points of view,
In the simulator function of my brain or imagination,
I gain a systems/ecological vision of things.
An impersonal w-holistic vision which is not about any particular thing or particular identity.
And it is easy for me to see that the only doer is god/field/consciousness,
And that everything is a temporal appearance.
After constantly living in a soup of all superimposed positionalities,
I realized that trying to polarize myself,
To any one extreme polarity,
In any of the dimensions,
With my efforts,
Has been the cause for a lot of strife within me.
I realized that I can:
# Neither be not affected, nor can I be affected completely.
# Neither be totally powerful, nor can I be totally powerless.
# Neither be completely good, nor can I be completely bad.
# Neither be completely with, nor can I completely avoid.
# Neither be completely clear, nor can I be completely unclear.
# Neither be completely truthful, nor can I be completely false.
# Neither be fully right, nor can I be fully wrong.
# Neither be completely loving, nor can I be completely hateful.
So this kind of throws light on my fundamental resistance to life.
Because life happens on its terms, while I am struggling against it.
‘Power’ and ‘Doing’ in the world
In the regular worldly sense, all power comes from structure.
And maintaining structural integrity is essential for doing anything.
Like imagine instead of tongs, you had 2 feathers.
Can you then even pick up a cookie with those 2 feathers?!
The power of the tongs comes from its structural resilience.
People in the world who are committed to being objective,
Are essentially committed to power itself.
Power here is holding one perspective “as absolute” and then changing/altering the surroundings with that in mind.
The example I used of the “feathers vs. tongs”, applies to the intangible and invisible mind levels too.
There is no “essential difference” between objective and subjective.
Objective = Solidified subjective.
“Doing something” implies “achieving some goal”.
And so the “goal” becomes the “organizing principle” for “the structure” you decide to cathect into.
And the goal itself comes from the “belief structure” which conditions the person’s vision, into seeing the goal as relevant/important in the first place.
The “belief structure conditioning” is from programming, environmental, social, cultural, parental, childhood influences, and the person’s own innate tendencies/nature/potentials/level of evolution/level of vision capacity etc. (referred to as samskharas, vasanas etc. in yogic terminology)
So there are different manifestations of power from:
Subtle —-to—– Gross
Spanning from the subtle and extending all the way to the gross.
For instance, which is more powerful?
A burned solid clay pot OR a ball of clay?
Generally we define power by our notion of usefulness/goals.
From that notion, the burnt clay pot is much more powerful to hold something inside it.
But metaphysical speaking and from a broader context, the ball of clay is actually more powerful. Because it can be shaped into anything.
Just like water is more powerful than anything solid.
Because the solid is rigid, and rigidity is also fragility.
However strong the solid is, it cannot match the strength of water.
Bruce Lee is known to have had profound insight from striking water, which is why his famous expression came out: “…Be like water my friend…”.
So there is apparent power and there is real power.
Like supposing a gunman is hired by a secret agency to threaten someone.
Who is more powerful? The gunman? OR the agency?
The gunman has the gun, and looks to be the one in power.
But really he is only carrying out the agency’s bidding who have convinced him that being an instrument for their cause would be in his interest.
So it is the agency that is actually in power, is it not?
Lets take another example that challenges our standard notion of what power is.
Is an adult more powerful than a child?
Well from the looks of it, it seems like obviously the adult is more powerful.
But the child can be programmed to become anything.
Actuality is ONE, but POTENTIAL is Infinite.
I think the essential difference I am pointing out here is of:
The power to do —-vs—– The power to be.
And I would argue the power to BE vastly trumps the power to DO, from a metaphysical context, because it is prior to the doing, and it is what shapes the doing itself.
And maintaining structural integrity is essential for doing anything.
Like imagine instead of tongs, you had 2 feathers.
Can you then even pick up a cookie with those 2 feathers?!
The power of the tongs comes from its structural resilience.
People in the world who are committed to being objective,
Are essentially committed to power itself.
Power here is holding one perspective “as absolute” and then changing/altering the surroundings with that in mind.
The example I used of the “feathers vs. tongs”, applies to the intangible and invisible mind levels too.
There is no “essential difference” between objective and subjective.
Objective = Solidified subjective.
“Doing something” implies “achieving some goal”.
And so the “goal” becomes the “organizing principle” for “the structure” you decide to cathect into.
And the goal itself comes from the “belief structure” which conditions the person’s vision, into seeing the goal as relevant/important in the first place.
The “belief structure conditioning” is from programming, environmental, social, cultural, parental, childhood influences, and the person’s own innate tendencies/nature/potentials/level of evolution/level of vision capacity etc. (referred to as samskharas, vasanas etc. in yogic terminology)
So there are different manifestations of power from:
Subtle —-to—– Gross
Spanning from the subtle and extending all the way to the gross.
For instance, which is more powerful?
A burned solid clay pot OR a ball of clay?
Generally we define power by our notion of usefulness/goals.
From that notion, the burnt clay pot is much more powerful to hold something inside it.
But metaphysical speaking and from a broader context, the ball of clay is actually more powerful. Because it can be shaped into anything.
Just like water is more powerful than anything solid.
Because the solid is rigid, and rigidity is also fragility.
However strong the solid is, it cannot match the strength of water.
Bruce Lee is known to have had profound insight from striking water, which is why his famous expression came out: “…Be like water my friend…”.
So there is apparent power and there is real power.
Like supposing a gunman is hired by a secret agency to threaten someone.
Who is more powerful? The gunman? OR the agency?
The gunman has the gun, and looks to be the one in power.
But really he is only carrying out the agency’s bidding who have convinced him that being an instrument for their cause would be in his interest.
So it is the agency that is actually in power, is it not?
Lets take another example that challenges our standard notion of what power is.
Is an adult more powerful than a child?
Well from the looks of it, it seems like obviously the adult is more powerful.
But the child can be programmed to become anything.
Actuality is ONE, but POTENTIAL is Infinite.
I think the essential difference I am pointing out here is of:
The power to do —-vs—– The power to be.
And I would argue the power to BE vastly trumps the power to DO, from a metaphysical context, because it is prior to the doing, and it is what shapes the doing itself.
The real YOU is the field itself
The you is only part of YOU.
The YOU[field(you)+field(-you)]
you are only an appearance within YOU.
The other/world appears as outside of you, but actually it is [YOU-you]
The YOU is the field itself AND all explicit consciousness in it and the implicit structure that creates that explicit projection.
The implicit structure and the explicit consciousness arise together and are mutually interdependent (independent+dependent).
‘you’ can take any role in the field possibilities.
But if ‘you’ do then the field will balance it by making the others around you take up the opposite roles to bring back the field’s structure.
So changing the ‘you’ to another role taken by the ‘other’ in your field does not change much except the point of view(pov).
You will still live in a similar reality seeing the same essential stuff just from a different pov ‘you’.
So transcendence is to free the field itself, the entire field of consciousness.
So that all the ‘you’-‘other’ fixed networks/patterns/possibilities in it are freed.
The field first fills itself – your descend into the world(say, this world) of form – along with an apparent ‘you’ inside it, that lives among apparent ‘others’ outside it.
Then the field empties itself – your ascent into the world(nirvana world) of the pure field.
The YOU[field(you)+field(-you)]
you are only an appearance within YOU.
The other/world appears as outside of you, but actually it is [YOU-you]
The YOU is the field itself AND all explicit consciousness in it and the implicit structure that creates that explicit projection.
The implicit structure and the explicit consciousness arise together and are mutually interdependent (independent+dependent).
‘you’ can take any role in the field possibilities.
But if ‘you’ do then the field will balance it by making the others around you take up the opposite roles to bring back the field’s structure.
So changing the ‘you’ to another role taken by the ‘other’ in your field does not change much except the point of view(pov).
You will still live in a similar reality seeing the same essential stuff just from a different pov ‘you’.
So transcendence is to free the field itself, the entire field of consciousness.
So that all the ‘you’-‘other’ fixed networks/patterns/possibilities in it are freed.
The field first fills itself – your descend into the world(say, this world) of form – along with an apparent ‘you’ inside it, that lives among apparent ‘others’ outside it.
Then the field empties itself – your ascent into the world(nirvana world) of the pure field.
Life and sound
Life is “experienced” as vibration or sound.
The essence of life itself is not vibration though.
The essence of life is “unknown/unknowable” (because it is subtler than all instruments) but it causes vibration when it permeates/communes/infuses with “matter/instruments/structures”.
The enlivening non-physical life energy causes the vibration/reverberation of the instrument, that results in the emanation/radiation of its sound.
The object’s/being’s structure and its sound radiation arise concomitantly depending on the life energy permeating it.
Just like how, as soon as you plug in your radio, the sound emanation starts from the speakers.
Greater life energy permeation will change the very structure of the object/being.
This is known as transformation in spiritual circles.
The best analogy for this is the phenomenon of Cymatics.
As the frequency of vibration of the plate is increased, the sand on the plate takes on more and more intricate structures.
As the frequency is raised, the previous structure goes into chaos, but when the higher milestone frequency is reached, a new structure emerges that is even more intricate and complex.
So if the life energy in you starts to raise its power and increase your vibration, you will go through transformation, your whole body structure will change.
We sense sound against the background of silence.
Like how you only hear a clock tick because of the silence underneath the tick.
There is also a relativity here.
You hear something only to the extent that it raises sound above your baseline level of silence.
Like say there is a fan running creating 45db of sound. If that is your base, that will drown out all the sounds under 45db. So you will consider that level to be the silent base wrt. all the other sounds that you hear.
Similarly, the intensity with which we experience life/sound, depends on how silent we are.
The more silent we are, the more intense the sounds will be.
Another interesting aspect is about the discrimination of sound.
Absolute silence would allow for absolute discrimination of sound.
To really listen/hear something in its entirety, you have to be totally silent.
The last related point I wanted to make:
You perceive the world, others, and objects, only relative to your own level of vibration, your own capacity to hold life energy.
A high frequency being can perceive a low frequency being in far higher resolution than the low frequency can perceive the high freq being.
Translating that to the ‘sound’ context, my ears can hear a tuning fork vibrating, because the vibration of my ear instrument is far subtler than the vibration of the tuning fork.
So it is that difference that I perceive to be the sound of the tuning fork.
So all perception is relative.
Finer your instrument, the more you can hear life.
So if you think about it, absolute silence is “infinite vibration”.
So silence being infinitely subtle vibration, it is capable of perceiving all other vibration.
It is like having the ultimate ear, that can hear all other ears too.
The essence of life itself is not vibration though.
The essence of life is “unknown/unknowable” (because it is subtler than all instruments) but it causes vibration when it permeates/communes/infuses with “matter/instruments/structures”.
The enlivening non-physical life energy causes the vibration/reverberation of the instrument, that results in the emanation/radiation of its sound.
The object’s/being’s structure and its sound radiation arise concomitantly depending on the life energy permeating it.
Just like how, as soon as you plug in your radio, the sound emanation starts from the speakers.
Greater life energy permeation will change the very structure of the object/being.
This is known as transformation in spiritual circles.
The best analogy for this is the phenomenon of Cymatics.
As the frequency of vibration of the plate is increased, the sand on the plate takes on more and more intricate structures.
As the frequency is raised, the previous structure goes into chaos, but when the higher milestone frequency is reached, a new structure emerges that is even more intricate and complex.
So if the life energy in you starts to raise its power and increase your vibration, you will go through transformation, your whole body structure will change.
We sense sound against the background of silence.
Like how you only hear a clock tick because of the silence underneath the tick.
There is also a relativity here.
You hear something only to the extent that it raises sound above your baseline level of silence.
Like say there is a fan running creating 45db of sound. If that is your base, that will drown out all the sounds under 45db. So you will consider that level to be the silent base wrt. all the other sounds that you hear.
Similarly, the intensity with which we experience life/sound, depends on how silent we are.
The more silent we are, the more intense the sounds will be.
Another interesting aspect is about the discrimination of sound.
Absolute silence would allow for absolute discrimination of sound.
To really listen/hear something in its entirety, you have to be totally silent.
The last related point I wanted to make:
You perceive the world, others, and objects, only relative to your own level of vibration, your own capacity to hold life energy.
A high frequency being can perceive a low frequency being in far higher resolution than the low frequency can perceive the high freq being.
Translating that to the ‘sound’ context, my ears can hear a tuning fork vibrating, because the vibration of my ear instrument is far subtler than the vibration of the tuning fork.
So it is that difference that I perceive to be the sound of the tuning fork.
So all perception is relative.
Finer your instrument, the more you can hear life.
So if you think about it, absolute silence is “infinite vibration”.
So silence being infinitely subtle vibration, it is capable of perceiving all other vibration.
It is like having the ultimate ear, that can hear all other ears too.
Fractal soul visions
Linear time is within a certain frame of reference staying constant.
Beyond linear time is circular time.
And beyond circular time are eternal higher dimensional realities etc.
It gets more and more abstract.
Sometimes when our visions get abstract enough we can see abstract gestalts/patterns repeating again and again like time running through a mobius strip.
For me, the common themes I wrestle with are between:
– Being and Non-being
– Becoming and Unbecoming
– Ground and Groundlessness
– Knowing and Unknowing
– Striving and Surrender
– Linear time and Non-linear time
– Attainment and Non-attainment
– Order and Chaos
– Enlightenment and Non-enlightenment
– Home and travel
– Knowledge and Innocence
– Reality and Illusion
I can explain some of these things with poetic visions.
Here are some of them below:
Vision 1:
I have 2 choices, stay with what I know (what is in my hand) or the other choice is to jump into an unknown abyss.
I am detached from what I have and so at times I get the courage and jump into the abyss.
Now imagine you fall and fall through the unknown but there is no ground and you land up again at a similar place where you were standing before and again there is the same choice – stick to what is in hand(known) or just into the abyss(unknown).
Again this repeats, I work on letting go of the known in hand and get the courage and jump, and this repeats again and again.
This is the play between knowing and unknowing
It is the play between ground and groundlessness
Vision 2:
Imagine you are in a dream and you are trying to wake up, but every time you think you have woken up you later realize you have still been dreaming. And so you try to wake up again, and once again think you have woken up, only to realize soon after that you are still dreaming and have to work again to wake up.
This is the play between reality and illusion
Vision 3:
I build myself up like a sand structure from the chaos of possibility of the sand on the ground.
I feel I have attained knowledge and being, but soon it falls back to the ground.
Then again I get inspired, and I build another structure, work on it and reach a milestone, only for it to go back to the ground again.
This is like a looping struggle to BE something and not fall back to non-being.
This can be seen as the play of order vs. chaos.
This can also be seen as the play of attainment vs. non-attainment.
It is also the play between becoming and unbecoming.
Vision 4:
Imagine whenever you settled in a place, buy some things, make yourself a home there and create security for yourself, you feel its time to move. You have to move and leave everything behind, go through the grief, and do a similar settlement in your next spot, only for you to again get the impulse to move and do it again.
This is the play between home and travel.
Vision 5:
Imagine you are sitting in a theater seat and watching a movie, and you go through the story with the hero suffering gains and losses. Suddenly you feel it is getting too much and you want to snap out of it and you come back to your theater seat. You realize that you were always in that seat, nothing has really changed, and the whole movie was an illusion. But then shortly after coming back to the theater seat and disillusioning yourself, you see something else interesting in the screen that once again enchants you, and you start to gain knowledge from investment. And this happens again and again.
This is the play between alternating enlightenment and non-enlightenment
This is the play between alternating knowledge and innocence.
Beyond linear time is circular time.
And beyond circular time are eternal higher dimensional realities etc.
It gets more and more abstract.
Sometimes when our visions get abstract enough we can see abstract gestalts/patterns repeating again and again like time running through a mobius strip.
For me, the common themes I wrestle with are between:
– Being and Non-being
– Becoming and Unbecoming
– Ground and Groundlessness
– Knowing and Unknowing
– Striving and Surrender
– Linear time and Non-linear time
– Attainment and Non-attainment
– Order and Chaos
– Enlightenment and Non-enlightenment
– Home and travel
– Knowledge and Innocence
– Reality and Illusion
I can explain some of these things with poetic visions.
Here are some of them below:
Vision 1:
I have 2 choices, stay with what I know (what is in my hand) or the other choice is to jump into an unknown abyss.
I am detached from what I have and so at times I get the courage and jump into the abyss.
Now imagine you fall and fall through the unknown but there is no ground and you land up again at a similar place where you were standing before and again there is the same choice – stick to what is in hand(known) or just into the abyss(unknown).
Again this repeats, I work on letting go of the known in hand and get the courage and jump, and this repeats again and again.
This is the play between knowing and unknowing
It is the play between ground and groundlessness
Vision 2:
Imagine you are in a dream and you are trying to wake up, but every time you think you have woken up you later realize you have still been dreaming. And so you try to wake up again, and once again think you have woken up, only to realize soon after that you are still dreaming and have to work again to wake up.
This is the play between reality and illusion
Vision 3:
I build myself up like a sand structure from the chaos of possibility of the sand on the ground.
I feel I have attained knowledge and being, but soon it falls back to the ground.
Then again I get inspired, and I build another structure, work on it and reach a milestone, only for it to go back to the ground again.
This is like a looping struggle to BE something and not fall back to non-being.
This can be seen as the play of order vs. chaos.
This can also be seen as the play of attainment vs. non-attainment.
It is also the play between becoming and unbecoming.
Vision 4:
Imagine whenever you settled in a place, buy some things, make yourself a home there and create security for yourself, you feel its time to move. You have to move and leave everything behind, go through the grief, and do a similar settlement in your next spot, only for you to again get the impulse to move and do it again.
This is the play between home and travel.
Vision 5:
Imagine you are sitting in a theater seat and watching a movie, and you go through the story with the hero suffering gains and losses. Suddenly you feel it is getting too much and you want to snap out of it and you come back to your theater seat. You realize that you were always in that seat, nothing has really changed, and the whole movie was an illusion. But then shortly after coming back to the theater seat and disillusioning yourself, you see something else interesting in the screen that once again enchants you, and you start to gain knowledge from investment. And this happens again and again.
This is the play between alternating enlightenment and non-enlightenment
This is the play between alternating knowledge and innocence.
Â
Sensations, Psychological activity, and Integration
There are multiple sensations of chaos/pain -> simultaneously happening in:
1 – Sensation/physical reality
2 – Mind/psychological reality
One is not the cause of the other.
Rather both are simultaneous.
1 – Every sensation carries the potential for the psychological effects
2 – Psychological effects carry the potential for sensational effects.
[Sensation effects Psychological effects] = Are ONE, they come together
Focus shifts:
1 – However it is possible to focus on the sensation alone.
2 – OR It is possible to focus solely on psychological effects.
Generally the psychological reality is much more complex that the bare sensation and it can trigger a world of thoughts/memories.
1 – If one wants to rest, then it is possible to simply rest on sensation which by virtue of focus suspends the psychological animation/activity. [Depression – depression by itself is simply rest]
One then experiences only pure sensation with no interpretation.
2 – If one wants to delve into the psychological world of the sensations, then a channel of expression such as free-writing can reveal all the webs of meaning of potential opened up by the sensation.
Here one can get absorbed into all the narratives, stories, webs and principles.
‘Attention/Focus’ is what limits reality to one or the other.
Can one pay attention to the sensation and thought together?
Yes, to an extent, but there is a limitation here – it can tire you quickly.
As a rule:
1 – Divided attention tends to tire – because it takes a lot of energy.
2 – Single minded attention tends to relax – because it uses a much thinner stream of directed energy.
So interestingly, paying attention reduces energy expenditure since the reservoir of energy available is channeled.
That is how people can do focused work for many hours(one thing is relevant, rest is irrelevant), but when they are restless with nothing to do(all is relevant), they can get depleted very rapidly.
It is similar to a circuit.
– If the circuit is not properly closed, then the energy leaks in a lot of places.
– If it is fully closed, then energy is conserved.
The next question though will be about the focus structures themselves.
‘Focus structures’ are driven by desire.
But desire is usually shaped by self-concept/ego-concept structures created in the early years.
Then there is the deeper archetypal desires of your self/soul which are more global and abstract.
So generally again there is a dichotomy here:
1 – If your ego-concept aligns fairly well with your soul/deeper desire -> you function and explore happily within the structure of your ego in the world.
2 – If your ego-concept is distant from your soul desire (your true wisdom) -> the soul will drive most of the efforts into correcting that and seeking learning.
In point 2, that disharmony = pain, and this pain will drive you towards the task of acquiring the necessary understanding to bridge the gap that will integrate and reshape the self-concept.
In such a case, there may be a movement towards dissolution of structure and entering the deeper chaos (the chaos is from lack of conscious nurture) again to realign with your soul-potentials which were abandoned earlier.
Why is there a dissolution? – because probably the structure has already served its purpose and most of its potentials have been explored OR it could be from having many neglected potentials which were not included in your early structure, necessitating integration work via. intuiting of higher order principles as executive agents for the reassembly.
1 – Sensation/physical reality
2 – Mind/psychological reality
One is not the cause of the other.
Rather both are simultaneous.
1 – Every sensation carries the potential for the psychological effects
2 – Psychological effects carry the potential for sensational effects.
[Sensation effects Psychological effects] = Are ONE, they come together
Focus shifts:
1 – However it is possible to focus on the sensation alone.
2 – OR It is possible to focus solely on psychological effects.
Generally the psychological reality is much more complex that the bare sensation and it can trigger a world of thoughts/memories.
1 – If one wants to rest, then it is possible to simply rest on sensation which by virtue of focus suspends the psychological animation/activity. [Depression – depression by itself is simply rest]
One then experiences only pure sensation with no interpretation.
2 – If one wants to delve into the psychological world of the sensations, then a channel of expression such as free-writing can reveal all the webs of meaning of potential opened up by the sensation.
Here one can get absorbed into all the narratives, stories, webs and principles.
‘Attention/Focus’ is what limits reality to one or the other.
Can one pay attention to the sensation and thought together?
Yes, to an extent, but there is a limitation here – it can tire you quickly.
As a rule:
1 – Divided attention tends to tire – because it takes a lot of energy.
2 – Single minded attention tends to relax – because it uses a much thinner stream of directed energy.
So interestingly, paying attention reduces energy expenditure since the reservoir of energy available is channeled.
That is how people can do focused work for many hours(one thing is relevant, rest is irrelevant), but when they are restless with nothing to do(all is relevant), they can get depleted very rapidly.
It is similar to a circuit.
– If the circuit is not properly closed, then the energy leaks in a lot of places.
– If it is fully closed, then energy is conserved.
The next question though will be about the focus structures themselves.
‘Focus structures’ are driven by desire.
But desire is usually shaped by self-concept/ego-concept structures created in the early years.
Then there is the deeper archetypal desires of your self/soul which are more global and abstract.
So generally again there is a dichotomy here:
1 – If your ego-concept aligns fairly well with your soul/deeper desire -> you function and explore happily within the structure of your ego in the world.
2 – If your ego-concept is distant from your soul desire (your true wisdom) -> the soul will drive most of the efforts into correcting that and seeking learning.
In point 2, that disharmony = pain, and this pain will drive you towards the task of acquiring the necessary understanding to bridge the gap that will integrate and reshape the self-concept.
In such a case, there may be a movement towards dissolution of structure and entering the deeper chaos (the chaos is from lack of conscious nurture) again to realign with your soul-potentials which were abandoned earlier.
Why is there a dissolution? – because probably the structure has already served its purpose and most of its potentials have been explored OR it could be from having many neglected potentials which were not included in your early structure, necessitating integration work via. intuiting of higher order principles as executive agents for the reassembly.
Transformation and Healing are simultaneous
Old structure —-<—{Transformation}—- Chaos —{Healing}–>– New structure
Life is an endless movement from the old to the new.
—->— old ————>———– new —->—
When in-between the passage, if you look at your old structure you see transformation.
On the other hand, if you look at the prospective new structure from this mid point, you see healing/becoming (heading towards the new state of coherence).
So they both are simultaneous, the view just changes between transformation and healing depending on whether you look backwards or forwards.
This is similar to how creation and destruction are simultaneous in the movement of life. Again depends on which direction you look.
Following the Desire to change something never works
My desires and emotions are giving me a message about reality like “mathematics”.
I will listen to that directly without “resistance” or “desire to change it”.
“Desire to change something” is always a “Reaction” and not an “Action”.
This can be understood, by looking at “Forces” and Structures”
( Martial arts clearly demonstrates this principle in a tangible physical manner
Here is a wing-chun video that demonstrates this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r85CAAxJfQ )
A structure generates force, no structure = no force
So, desires and emotions are “forces” generated by an underlying “structure”.
The reality I experience is analogous to where I put my focus/attention.
When I INVEST in the DESIRE to change something, then I am investing my attention energy into the FORCE and not the STRUCTURE generating the force.
So as a result, I only become aware of the FORCE and the places it takes me to, and not of the structure itself that generated the force in the first place.
Consequently, the “STRUCTURE” which is the very thing I want to change, never enters my awareness (because I am too busy chasing the FORCE), and change is as a result – IMPOSSIBLE.
That is why Einstein said “A problem can never be solved at the level of consciousness in which it originated”.
Only transcending to a subtler level allows the structure to enter your awareness.
Letting go of the desire to change something, and BEING with the something, is the only way I can see the very structure and not get caught up by the paths created by the forces generated by the structure.
I will listen to that directly without “resistance” or “desire to change it”.
“Desire to change something” is always a “Reaction” and not an “Action”.
This can be understood, by looking at “Forces” and Structures”
( Martial arts clearly demonstrates this principle in a tangible physical manner
Here is a wing-chun video that demonstrates this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r85CAAxJfQ )
A structure generates force, no structure = no force
So, desires and emotions are “forces” generated by an underlying “structure”.
The reality I experience is analogous to where I put my focus/attention.
When I INVEST in the DESIRE to change something, then I am investing my attention energy into the FORCE and not the STRUCTURE generating the force.
So as a result, I only become aware of the FORCE and the places it takes me to, and not of the structure itself that generated the force in the first place.
Consequently, the “STRUCTURE” which is the very thing I want to change, never enters my awareness (because I am too busy chasing the FORCE), and change is as a result – IMPOSSIBLE.
That is why Einstein said “A problem can never be solved at the level of consciousness in which it originated”.
Only transcending to a subtler level allows the structure to enter your awareness.
Letting go of the desire to change something, and BEING with the something, is the only way I can see the very structure and not get caught up by the paths created by the forces generated by the structure.
Journey to the Abstract 