Tag: Sociopath

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The game of masks

gameofmasks

The game of masks:
Some people wear an [identity/mask/role/act], enjoy it, and then remove it.
And once alone or in a safe place, they remove the mask and then reflect on the act/mask/identity/role from their Real Self.
Some others NEVER remove the mask of identity/role.
They want to wear it 24×7 and lose themselves into believing they are that.

Someone like a sociopath has a very tough and thick mask, because it has been created from very early in life from “extraordinary levels of shame”.
So accordingly, since structure = power, they exude more confidence, charisma, and power.
And then, they try to play the game of masks with others, lose themselves into their game, and a corollary/extension of that is that “they apply the same principle in terms of what they are interested in when it comes to others”.
Since they themselves are actors and are trying to find the ultimate act to lose themselves into, they are always on the lookout for how to make the mask stronger.
So they look at other people wearing masks, and are attracted to them, and they are always curious about what mask/act to wear.
Because that is their very mission statement “Find the greatest personality/mask/identity/structure/role, that will give the greatest rewards and goodies from everyone.” More importantly they want a mask that is invincible and indestructible -> because all masks are “inherently insecure” and are really dependent upon others and social systems for their mere survival.
So really, they are enslaved to what is allowed/tolerated/celebrated in the matrix because their entire identity/mask/role is really a socially and other-conferred one, and rests on mercurial flimsy ground.

They are living off the alms of others, in the most fundamental sense.
They are aware of this, and that is why there is a heavy investment in manipulation and defenses – so that not only are they never detected, they also do a preemptive offensive attack on anybody who even attempts to disillusion them of their act/role/mask/identity.
They try to secure love and admiration everywhere, shaping themselves into whatever it takes to get the maximum of that, as a permanent antidote to insecurity.
They are constantly on the lookout for conventional positions of power, because then with that stable position, they have much greater security, and people are far more likely to tolerate their whims, tantrums, oppression and so on.
They are also hyper-controlling of everyone around, they frame control everything everywhere, because really THIS is only an extension of the REAL frame control they are constantly doing to themselves in order to constantly make them believe in the mask.

A kind of self-hypnosis, that becomes automated in them to such an extent, it then extends itself into controlling all of their environment and all of their interactions – inevitably coming across as oppressive to others.
To make up for that, they go into episodes of love-bombing, great people-pleasing, gift-giving, inflating their value etc. something to compensate, something such that the pros outweigh the cons, to keep up the idea that it is worth/valuable/great living with them, and that they are great people basically.

Underneath all of that is toxic shame.
A shame so terrible, they would do anything rather than look at that.
Isn’t that the reason anybody would choose to wear a MASK 24×7 and choose to never ever remove it?
Imagine if someone close to you did that one day, wearing a full mask the whole day, what would you ask them? “What is wrong, did you get mumps? some lip infection? some acne? some other skin infection? some scar? some injury?”
Would you not associate this with something along the lines above?
This is the basis for all those who wear masks and never choose to remove it.
The shame behind those is so much, that it turns off self-reflection irrevocably/totally/completely.
Even if someone with that level of toxic shame reads this whole essay, it will still not motivate them to look at the source of his shame.
Rather he might try to use all of this information as TOOLS to manipulate someone else, to strengthen the mask itself, rather than USE THIS TOOL for his OWN reflection.
Such is the power of shame = More often than not, they will choose death over self-reflection.
Is shame worse than physical death? = Is a good question to ponder.
One thing is clear though, the deepest origin of all MASKS (when one chooses to lose themselves completely into it) is SHAME.

From a more abstract level:
The individual is the microcosm, while society is the macrocosm.
An individual suppresses/represses things depending on the severity of shame present.
The same holds true for the larger collective we call society.
Society suppresses/represses things in its own scale and this affects all the individuals too.
There is shame at the level of the collective/society itself.
Look at the criminals in jails, asylums etc.
They all represent what society has rejected.
Certain behaviors/potentials of god are considered acceptable, while certain others are simply not-tolerated/suppressed/shunned/or even attacked.
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On Fear, Contraction, Abuse, and Sociopaths

When there is a threat perceived by the senses (sensory input) we are jolted back into the body.
Have you ever noticed a toddler, how they startle easily?
My hypothesis is that, that is because they are only loosely in their body.
So any loud noise tends to startle them, which is something that jolts them back into the body (contraction impulse).
Abstractly put, the spectrum is:
Fear = Contraction(increased density) ————– Bliss = Expansion (decreased density)
And fear is a response to threat.
Bliss is a response to safety.

Continuous abuse tends to result in habitual contraction which is a result of constantly bracing for the fight or impact.
Mental abuse causes mental contraction.
Physical abuse causes physical contraction.
The labels of mental and physical are cursory, as compared to the base phenomenon happening which is similar – ‘contraction of energy’ or an increasing of ‘density’.
To understand this let’s consider another spectrum:
Finite(infinite density)(1)—————— Infinite(lowest density)(∞)
The greatest fear would be the greatest density/infinite density/singularity/black hole (the left of the spectrum).
The greatest bliss would be infinitely low density that permeates all of existence (the right of the spectrum).

Now, generally sociopaths are created in certain early childhood environments where there is a lot of abuse.
What is normal for a sociopath is abusive to others. It is relative.
So what I mean by abuse here is an exposure to a kind of rough, blunt, high density, and hard interaction.
So the child develops in accordance to this environment and quality of interaction sensitivity etc.
When this child meets other kids brought up in much softer and more sensitive environments he finds they are hurt by his ways of interaction, feeling all his interaction as abusive, and avoid him.

Another important thing to consider is, higher density naturally implies selfishness and lower density naturally implies empathy.
Because empathy is sensitivity.
The same energy thins out and spreads over to consider the other, expanding the circle of concern.
Whereas in high contraction, there is inherently a non-consideration of the other.
Look at the way people act under extreme fear or anger.
Does the person in front of them even matter when such a strong projection is put forth?
So take it far enough along the left in the spectrum towards fear or energy contraction and you have a sociopath.
The opposite of this would be a saint, whose energy is subtle, highly sensitive and shows very high sensitivity and empathy to all beings.

For a saintly person, do you want to know how a sociopath feels?
Just watch a horror film, that feeling of being wired and in the edge of your seat, is a CONTRACTION of your default state of energy, and that might be the default operating mode for a sociopath.
For a sociopath, do you want to know how a saint feels?
Just take a lot of ‘mdma’, you will experience a higher degree of the world of sensitivity and empathy.
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General masses vs. sociopaths vs. contemplators

GENERAL MASSES
In my experience, for most people, their emotions like desire, anger, liking, aversion etc. is all mapped to specific outer stuff.
There is a recognizable structure in their emotional mappings to the outer world.
But when you question them, they will always only point to the literal person, object, some situation happening, and attribute causation directly to the outer.
They cannot see their own structure, because they are seeing through that.
All their emotions are outward mapped onto a specific world image, projected from their structure, which is completely invisible and thereby absolutely true for them.
When you question them, they do not introspect, rather they might try to attack you/avoid you/ignore you/deny everything you say/attack the finger that points/ manipulate the finger etc.
This is because they cannot see what you are pointing at, at all.

SOCIOPATHS:
Sociopaths are on the far end of this spectrum.
They see the world through a hard integrated simplistic structure, that is opportunistic and looks to exploit everything for itself.
Their self structure is almost totally invulnerable to influence.
Nothing can change their reality orientation from outside since their eyes are always looking outward only.
So if you point to a structure they have, its as if you are pointing to something that does not exist. They would simply view that as an attack and try to attack your view.

Broadly the spectrum is:
Total self-reflection (total self-incrimination)—————– Total self-projection (total blame)
The spectrum could also be viewed as:
Sociopath ——————— Contemplator.
I would say, sociopaths are closer to animals, in the sense, their nature is unchangeable and immutable.
They cannot reflect on themselves and see ‘self’ as object.
So their whole world is their playground and they will demand everywhere and manipulate.
What are people on the other end of the spectrum called? – I would say, contemplators.
The following introspective functions are present in contemplators:
self-contemplation, self-examination, self-observation, self-questioning, self-reflection, self-scrutiny, self-searching, soul-searching, self-analysis, self-awareness, self-consciousness, self-recognition; introversion, self-absorption, self-centeredness, self-concern, self-involvement; self-actualization, self-discovery, self-exploration, self-fulfillment, self-realization; self-knowledge, self-revelation; self-concept, self-image, self-perception; contemplation, meditation, reflection, rumination

Contemplators cannot outrospect/project easily and operate from seeing all of reality as their responsibility including serving others.
Their self is likely prone to getting into ruminative thought loops, chaos, getting caught in logical paradoxes, conflicting desires, traffic jam energies…and so on.
The mindset of total self-projection, the state of the sociopath, is the state of mind one has when in a stage performance or when facing a big threat like a wild animal. One’s attention is then totally outward focused and that gives a taste of what a sociopath mind state is like to the contemplator folk.

Generally, when does inward focus happen then? – It happens in boredom, when there is 0 outer pressure, and when there is no threat OR if the threat is inescapable, then you retreat into total inward focus.
Another way to look at it is that sociopaths are like one-time programmable only chips, after that they function without being influenced. They are like clay that has hardened into rock.
The contemplators on the other hand are permanently programmable chips. They are ever malleable and changeable.
Contemplators stay permanently as clay.

I would think, sociopaths can comfortably roam around in the social world, because they are immune to all influences, and their total outward focus is the ideal state for survival and self-protection.
A contemplator on the other hand tends to avoid the social world, because he is very impressionable and malleable, and his outward focus is only when there are threats (i.e. he freezes into a structure temporarily only when there are threats), else he stays in his total malleable state.
So freezing into various forms and staying that way in social environments is ok if it is temporary, but to do that every day is burdensome for the contemplator.
That is why taking up one profession is difficult for a deep contemplator, because that is like forcing a malleable entity take up the same configuration/structure every single day for most of the day.
It is denying him the freedom he feels inside him everyday.
Contemplators are living in the meta-programming world itself.
Surviving in a world full of solid people is annoying for the contemplator, because he is exceptionally free and flexible but can never interact with others in that freedom.
The only way to interact with most people is to create quasi structures and interact with them within the acceptability zones intuited.
The contemplator is formless i.e. he has no intrinsic form and he is continuously aware of his freedom.
Whereas the sociopath is like a rock, a solid form, and he sees the entire world through this filter.