The Schizoid/Split vs Depressive/Ambivalent position

Schizoid/Paranoid/Split —vs— Depressive/Ambivalent.
# Good and Bad objects are separate —–vs—– Good and bad objects are one.
# There is god and the devil —-vs—- There is only god who is both the angel and devil.
# There is a white paper with black dots to be eliminated —vs— There is white paper with black dots OR a black paper with white dots.
# Mother as good or tyrant based on specific behaviors —-vs—- Mother as randomly good or bad without my understanding/control.
# ‘World as rules driven’ hard right/wrong conception —-vs—- ‘World as mad’ conception
# AvPD, Schizoid, Autistic —–vs—– Fearful avoidant, Disorganized attachment, ADHD.
# Tyrant mother = Tyrant world (Fight/Flight) —–vs—– Crazy mother = Crazy random world (Freeze/Fawn)
# Catastrophic thinking —–vs—— Fantasy thinking.
# The desired object and feared object are separate in time —-vs—- The desired object and the feared object are one (accelerator and brake emotions on at the same time causing friction/resistance/suffering, causing hesitation/shyness).
# Splitting of self and object into good and bad —-vs—- Union of self and object into good and bad.
# [loving, gratifying] object vs. [frustrating, persecutory, hating] object as 2 distinct things —-vs—- Both of those mixed randomly in the same person.
# Binary logic (it is either fully A or B) —-vs—- It’s A, it’s B, it’s both A and B, it’s neither A nor B.

There is only consciousness, and there is only the work

There is no inside-outside.
There is no self-other.
There is no you-world.
There is no body-environment.
There is no voluntary-involuntary.
There is just the one.

All of these are distinctions made by the mind,
Like throwing a net from a boat into seamless sea water,
And then calling each square of the net a label.
We create mental maps and use them to control and navigate in our life.
But the map is distinct from the territory.
The map is the lens through which we view the territory.
The territory is one undivided ocean of consciousness.

Reality/Territory appears to us as experience,
Based on how we see it through the maps of our mind.
Each map is a perspective.
And the multiple maps you carry in your mind,
Are like multiple perspectives to see the territory.
But the territory itself is like an unbounded kaleidoscope,
And it contains all of what all of the maps reveal.

We think we are born and we die.
But it is only the persistent appearance that dies.
In fact if you observe each moment,
Things are continuously arising and passing.
We see events because of our lack of vision.
When anything is seen very minutely,
We see that things happen in a continuous stream (continuum).

If life is the bird, its 2 wings are creation and destruction.
Our experience is like a continuous music in time.
Life on earth in the body is the theme of the music now.
This theme will shift and another kind of music may play,
Once the physiological process is completed.

So one very broad perspective of looking at this is:
There is only you and your karma unfolding.
The true completion of your birth,
Is when you complete the karma of the birth.
From this perspective – there are no situations/people/places,
Rather there is just an appearance to work with, whatever it appears as.

How does one complete karma?
In my understanding, it is by transformation.
We penetrate the darkness that surrounds our lives with our light,
And transform it.
We do this until we fulfill the potential (desire) in this birth,
And attain integration, enlightenment, and wholeness.
Then another cycle might begin in the next.

Consciousness creates its own darkness,
Filled with puzzles and possibilities (maya),
And then opens up a point of light (awareness),
With the desire to keep expanding its sphere of reach.

How you see yourself

If you see yourself as Indian, then Pakistanis are the invaders.
If you see yourself as the earth, then aliens are the invaders.
If you see yourself as the body, then viruses are the invaders.
If you see yourself as Brahma/Universe, then all is you,
Including the Pakistanis, aliens, viruses and so on.
It is like how you own your whole body when speaking about it to a doctor.
You may mention a specific organ, but you see yourself as the whole when describing.

Metaphysical law of control

Metaphysical law of control:
“You have to control yourself first,
Before you can control others.”

What makes it good/bad/right/wrong/helpful/harmful,
Is related to the relative consciousness/vision and unconsciousness/limitedness.
I.e. the intelligence (understanding) that does the controlling.

All control comes from the mind (mind-control).
All others and ‘others’ minds’ appear in your singular mind space.
If you relinquish controlling yourself,
You automatically relinquish controlling others too.
And to the degree to which you control yourself,
You control others too (directly or indirectly).

Pain is a demand on our attention

Every pain basically demands (seizes) attention.
When we would rather attend to something else,
That is when the pain creates suffering.
The suffering is from the resistance,
Of not wanting to attend to that which is paining.
It could be argued the pain itself appears,
Only after one has ignored something for long enough,
That it starts to break into the threshold of consciousness and escalate.

I’m creating 2 definitions here:
Selfish = attends to self, neglects the other.
Selfless = attends to others, neglects the self.
Broadly I’ve seen:
The selfless person may suffer from a lot of pain themselves,
But others are fairly happy/ok with them.
On the other hand, the selfish person may be quite well themselves,
But others struggle and have a lot of pains in relation to them.

Whatever is not loved creates pain.
When the self is not loved, it creates inside pain = selfless person.
When the other is not loved, the other gives you pain = selfish person.
Only what is loved is satisfied,
And what is not loved is in pain.
The separated disowned parts of your psyche are wanting reintegration,
And the pain is to get you to attend to them and finally own them.

This self-other distinction I wrote above,
Is more for the convenience of speaking and analyzing.
In reality or essence, there is no such division.
They both are only parts of a single landscape.
They are both parts of your current dream in consciousness.

Some insights on love

What is desired is love itself,
The light/the space/the being/the vibe of that state.
The forms it takes are its celebration/expression.

Every action that any being does can be traced back to that.
The whirlpool/vortex/process of one’s life is the journey back to source.
Desire/Interest/Passion is the direction/process/verb,
Love is like the destination/noun/horizon.

We are all the universal heart and universal mind,
Beneath our own hearts and minds.
To serve others is to serve our deeper selves.
A visionary lives alone in the deeper spaces/depths,
And acts as a vortex to draw interested others closer,
Acting as a representative and doorway to those heights/depths.

When it comes to myself:
Everything that I do is from love.
Everything that I do not do is from the absence of that.
For instance: My love for this blog,
Is from my love for clarity/distillation (extraction)/expression,
Creativity/documentation (logging/recording)
Higher truth/reasoning/insight/knowledge,
To weave tapestries of meaning/to connect bridge everything.

Complete Silence/Disinterest/Neutrality/Shunya,
Is the space where you see yourself.
Because all creation is made up of sound/reverberation.
So silence is the perfect mirror that makes us feel ourselves.

To connect with an other is to connect with what they love.
Everything that a person does is a reflection of what they love/value.

To depend on others for love,
Simply means you do not love those things enough.
So they are enhancing those aspects for you.
While what you love which they don’t,
Enhances those aspects for them.

In a deeper sense,
You are what you love.

Before people can love “you”,
They would love your works/emanation/scent,
And love what you represent etc.
Because your works are the outcomes/outpourings of your love,
And therefore they would serve as roads to lead them to you.

The experience of emptiness (the emotion),
Is to experience the lack of love.
In the sense, the love that is present in you,
Is too little to sustain/empower your body and mind enough,
To stay in a state of well being and coherence.

Very broadly speaking:
Love = Desire = Interest = Passion = Purpose = Pursuit.

Programming, Judgment, Disowning, and Projection

You want to have sex or relations,
With the qualities that you are not identified with,
But want to include in yourself and identify with.

This would apply even to attractions to even what we refer to as negative.
For instance, say you are attracted to abusers, manipulators, selfish/exploitative, uncaring, angry others,
That means you like their “service to self” quality,
Which is something you would desire to include into yourself.
But it may be too difficult to own because of your heavy identification with its opposite.

Our soul is precisely attracted to the qualities of other souls,
Which we need to balance/null/neutralize/complete ourselves.
The flow chart would be something like this:
The programming structures -> Perception/Vision -> Judgment -> Disowning -> Projection of qualities (which become others).
Then we attract all others with that projected quality,
Because it is too difficult to own that in ourselves.
It would require a lot of transformation and rewiring to include those aspects too.

This applies to both what we judge as good and bad in others.
We may project the judged good qualities out, because we may believe we are not worthy of them.
We may project the judged bad qualities out, because we may hold on to an ideal of ourselves and these bad qualities may be ruining that ideal.

A quality may contradict the very identity we currently have.
So we judge -> disown -> and then project it.
So what this means is, all others are your own projected qualities.
All attraction or repulsion is from disowning.
However when these disowned qualities are witnessed as others, it creates resonance.
The resonance of aspects of ourselves we do not like = disliked ppl.
The resonance of aspects of ourselves we do like = liked ppl.

It is not that you “Actually Are” all the others you perceive.
Rather, you are your perception/experience of them, i.e. how ‘you’ see them.
You can only know them to the extent that you are willing to see,
Which is actually the same as your willingness to see and know yourself.

It is like the analogy of the ‘Blind men and the elephant’.
Each starts off at their point of view and explores/owns/projects their reality from there.
The ultimate reality is our true nature, but we ascend to that stage by stage in evolution.
It is every being’s deepest longing to realize this.

The reflections from others

Every other is a kind of mirror,
Where their behavior towards us,
Reflects how they see us.

How real the reflection is,
And how much we are reflected,
And how selective or whole it is,
Is based on how much the other desires to truly see at all.

Not many desire to truly see things.
Some folk are almost entirely manipulative,
In which case, they see very little of you,
And exaggerate whichever aspect they deem,
Will help them achieve their vested interests,
Which maybe unconnected to you.
This kind of seeing is subservient to their vested interest.
So when that interest is over, the seeing of you will also end,
And they will direct that seeing to their next interest.
Any manipulator always works off a seed of truth.
But the rest of the fruit is usually fabricated fluff.
When this is done consciously, it is called manipulation.
When this is done unconsciously, it is called madness.
But even in the former case,
Conscious manipulation does serve a deeper unconscious madness.

We like to gravitate towards reflections,
That portray us as being lovable and wonderful.
We like to seek people who reflect aspects of ourselves,
That we ourselves love/like/value/cherish,
Which is based on the structures of our beliefs and identifications.

We cannot see who we are,
We can only see our reflection as a perceivable graspable object.
So this attachment to reflections,
Is a subset of attachment to objects(abstract) themselves.

Every person reflects us in their own way,
Setting up a unique dance/music of interaction in time,
Between us and them.
All of these comprise the riches of life.

About recognition

‘Recognition’ generally is about others recognizing you,
Which is essentially, others seeing you as part of themselves,
Since what we see in and as others, is only the reflection of our self.
We only see ourselves (aspects of ourselves) in all the others we meet.

Others seeing you, really is them seeing you in them.
Whereas you recognizing others, is you seeing them within you.
All deep recognition is from an identification.
You intimately experience within, that which you recognize.

All riches is really only riches of consciousness.
All true riches is the riches of your inner space experience (Hiranyagarba/Mindscape).
Your riches do not come from others recognizing you.
That is really their riches,
Because that is from them experiencing you in their own inner space.
Your riches are what you can recognize/understand/experience/identify/connect with.

The ‘self’ and the ‘Self’

The self ‘gets born’/emerges and the self dies/returns.
The self emerges from the ocean like a wave,
And then dies/returns to the ocean.
The self manifests/emerges like a breeze in the air,
And then returns/’fades back’ into the stillness of air.

Our selves are only instruments to serve our deeper origins.
All our creation is to manifest source’s will/intentions/forces.
The hand of the Self/Source/God is there in every drop of creation.
Every grain of sand has been created from,
And embodies this source intelligence.

The lost self is the one which assumed independence,
And lost sight of its connection to source.
Like a wave that has emerged,
And forgotten it is actually the action of the ocean.
All pain is really resistance to change.
Life/Pleasure —vs— Death/Pain
Because really all pain is the pain of disillusionment.

This resistance happens from ignorance,
Ignorance of the ocean,
Ignorance of the source from where one arises,
Ignorance of the vision,
That the self is actually a temporal activity/appearance,
And that one’s real nature is that of the Source/God/Self.

The ignorance is that,
The self assumes itself to the source/”Self”,
Which is no different than the moon thinking it is the source of light.
When in reality it is only the reflector of the light of the sun.
That is why in the Hindu scriptures, there is a distinction made between:
Source of light = Param-atma/Sun
Reflector of light = Moon/Jiva/Atma/Soul

To achieve completion in the vision,
Is to see the source light reflected through everything.
Where you know you are the light,
And you also see your own prism channeling this source light,
And where you see all others as other instruments/prisms,
As other reflecting instruments of this same source,
Essentially channeling/using that same source energy.
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The source light/energy is like air or space.
It is everywhere.
And all creation is suffused in it.
Our very existence and emergence into form is the will of source.
And our return to the formless is also the will of source.

Death is only death of the illusion,
Of what we believe we are.
Our birth and death is only of illusion,
That is, the alternation of:
Illusion and Disillusionment.
The truth however eternally exists.