The creative void/Brahman

No experience I have ever had could be otherwise.
Everything is exactly the way it is, and experience is free-falling from the void and returning to it.
“I myself” as an apparent controller/agent am an appearance and part of this free-fall of experience.
It is as if life(manifest) spills out from death and returns to death(void) – The creative void.
This creative void endlessly spills out movies of experience and apparent subjects and points of view.
Also the world, other people, objects are all arising in consciousness which is the real substance all of it is made up of.
Consciousness or the manifest arises from this creative void – like a media player visualization.
This creative void has no substance, or nature, or form. Just as your eyes should not have any color in order that you see all outer colors clearly (else if your eye itself were tinted with a color, then everything would appear to take that color) – similarly, the Brahman/creative void is qualityless, quantityless, substanceless, natureless, formless.
The creative void is truly “Nothing” and “Everything” that is manifest now, is only 1 of its boundless/infinite possibilities.
The creative void/Brahman is even beyond concepts of ONENESS and INFINITY, because both of those are subtle mentations/ways of seeing, and that is only one of the possibilities of the creative void.
I can endlessly describe the creative void, but none of the descriptions ARE IT, because each description is only one of the forms of this void.
All that I write about is about the mystery of this creative void. It is a celebration of its mystery and wonder.

Pondering on “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.”

This aphorism is deeply intriguing to me.
It points at such a profound truth that I can intuitively grasp, but to touch this truth to all of my experience and to understand all of its implications is an endless fascinating contemplation.

I wonder about what this “no-thing thing” is.
This question makes me look.
The deeper I look, the more I silence myself to see finely (like how we hold our breath when threading a needle)
I am trying to silence myself enough to see the substrate space.
At a point, I can see, that along with what I am looking at, I am looking at my own looking.
I then see that, this looking is my own desire, the deepest desire in me, to feel and know the ultimate reality.
So me as the whole having a desire to look at itself (awareness turning back and seeing itself), is a desire like any other, that appears and passes.
Which means, this whole quest to know the ultimate reality is from my own deep desire.

This has mind-boggling implications of the impossibility of me knowing anything.
If all knowing and knowledge accumulation is driven by desire (the desire/heart drives the tuning into that particular manifestation of reality), and if desires appear and pass like all phenomena, then my very ground is swept off my feet.
Reality is even more crazily mysterious than I had previously considered.
So then, the quest of mine to find the ultimate ground is in itself driven by a specific desire, and therefore the manifestation that I paradoxically do by non-doing, is not the ULTIMATE GROUND of experience but rather a ‘Specific experience’.

On the negative side: Everything can be threatened. I mean EVERYTHING.
On the positive side: The truth/real can never be threatened. So nothing of true value is ever lost.

So what is the TRUE REAL? – it is inconceivable, ineffable, unimaginable, unfathomable, undetectable, unnoticeable, un-objectifiable, insubstantiateable. It is “…THAT…”.

Everything is God

Everything is God.
Everything and Every person and Every living being.
Why should I reject any manifestation of God? In whatever form?
All attachment, desire, and addiction is the desire for repetition of [past images].
We are looking for the concretization of past images or mental fantasies – all of which create the “kohut tension arc”, which we attempt to move towards and seek as ideals (which is almost like a problem we are are constantly engaged in solving).
But greater life is about:
Desiring past images, is like ghost images controlling the show where they are always trying to rig and manipulate reality to fit these images.
The past is dead, the known is dead, these images are dead.
All the unchanging is dead.
To convert this unchanging dead into the alive changing is the transformation process.
Behind this transformation process, is a deep desire for greater life, and the process satisfies our own deep wish.

My philosophy of life (At the moment)

Life is a mystery/unknowable (to the mind). Life is absurd.
Life transcends meaning. Life transcends every-thing. Life transcends duality. Life is ONE/non-dual.
Life is unimaginable and un-understandable.
Life is beyond anything I can think and is beyond any “web of concepts”.
Life is beyond any “conceptual frames/grids/nets/hierarchies”.
The ‘Why’ question is the creative question that generates/reveals/pours in meaning structures/philosophies when contemplated upon.
All is already existing. We simply tune into different creations that ALREADY exist.
It is like how we spawn into a dream, it all appears simultaneously and instantaneously, all at once.
The realities are already available in their full splendor and infinity.
Your structure is what determines what reality manifests for you.
That is why, change yourself -> change your reality.
A certain structure gives you options to tune into certain realities.
Subtler the structure, more the freedom.
But more life energy is needed to power subtler structures.
Everything is complexified/richer/vaster in subtler structures.
Everything comes from nothing (not nothing as a concept, the real nothing).
The real nothing is the “infinite” itself.
All is appearance.
Everything is real and not real. Like a mirror.
The mirror is that which has no image of its own, but reflects images.
So the mirror images are both fully real and unreal at the same time, just like appearances.
Another analogy would be the “Screen”.
The screen can show anything, but it chooses to show this appearance now.
My deepest true nature potential is of an infinite potential screen.
But I see an apparent choice to have this appearance and movement/flow right now.
Its like I have chosen to allow a journey to my infinite nature from a finite world.
Libido = Eros = Interest = Love = Passion = Investment
We have a spectrum of drives from:
Thanatos (the death instinct) ——————————- Eros (love)
All experience tones fall in the spectrum:
Fear —————————- Love.
All this philosophy I wrote now is just the appearance at this moment.
I can whip a totally different philosophy tomorrow (certain general themes may repeat but only in a very abstract level).
There is extraordinary creativity and change each and every day. Everything changes.
The parts that do not change are like frozen images in a mirror.
There is a spectrum again of:
Infinite creativity ————————– Total determinism.
All this philosophy I have written is like a one spec of sand, through which reality can be constructed.
There are trillions of other philosophies/narratives/belief structures, that would create entirely different realities.
One feels a faintest glimpse of this freedom of reality choice on LSD.
This is my conceptual web right now. It is simply flowing out of me as I write this.
All I have now is feelings. I am translating them into logical language expressions and this expression is flowing out from the feelings and their potentials.
I can write like this forever, there is so much to say.
It is like describing a mountain, how many words would it take to describe a mountain? That’s the kind of writing I am doing now.
And this is just one mountain.
And like I said earlier, this entire mountain with its infinite detail is only 1 structure and is like 1 grain of sand in a beach containing trillions of other such grains, which can spawn trillions of realities.
Also as I am writing, I am also co-creating my feeling experience by creating this structure in my “Temporary Thought Space” (bridging my conceptual, intuitive-feeling mind)
I am feeling the sensation of infinity the more I write, and I am actively imagining and co-creating with my own writing, allowing my imagination and thought space to flow with it.
The essence of life is change.
Change = Life = Mystery = Aliveness = Magic/Miracle = Unknown = Freshness
The known is dead.
Every experience I am having at each moment can be appercepted/recognized and seen as new/fresh.
Kundalini is the life force energy. Kundalini = Spirit.
Spirit -> Soul -> Ego.
Kundalini is the giver of life and death.
Life and death at a lower level, creates insight at the higher level that witnesses.
Life after death is absolutely unimaginable.
There are various various hypothesis, conceptual webs with their mechanics to explain what will happen after death.
Each one is based on various extrapolations from observations in our current reality.
But why should death follow any such causality? It can be ANYTHING/the most unimaginable which is what my intuition says.
I have multiple-multiple channels in the television set of my brain.
My structure gives me access to innumerable amount of wondrous possible worlds.
But it needs life energy/spirit/electricity to run.
So you have a spectrum of experience of life energy availability:
Dark night of soul/depression —————————– Ecstasy/Wonder/Joy
Life is art. Every philosophy is creation/artistry.
Art/Creativity/Novelty/Beauty can function across all levels of being.
The beauty is in the gestalt/tapestry, it is an emergent property.
What must one do in life? – There is nothing that one “must” do.
Its all an exploration, its all a lila/play.
We are co-creators in the thought of God/higher power/oversoul.
Follow your love/joy/passion/highest excitement/deepest values/light.
Live up to your transcendental ideals.
Choose effort or effortlessness, its your choice.
There is nothing to attain, unless of-course you choose to play the game of attainment.
The mystery of life is simply unimaginably beyond anything that can even be conceived.
I would end with a quote from Terrence Mckenna “Life is not stranger than you suppose, it is stranger than you CAN suppose”

About values, judgment, discrimination, forces, points of view

Infinite(Ocean) -> Belief Structure(Drop point of view) -> Values(To connect to all other drops with similar values) -> Judgment(The seeing of other drops’ values through the host drop’s values)
“What you value” is the same as “What you want” is the same as “What you Desire” is the same as “Your Interest”.
Value = Want = Desire = Interest = Passion.
Also, Discrimination = Judgment.

To know yourself, is to know your genetic desires/forces, your biological desires/forces, your conditioning created desires/forces.
Everything is a force.
You are a force, interacting with other forces.
There is only a dance of forces.
Knowing yourself is to know your forces – that will enable you to know the most harmonious interaction/relationship possible with the other.
If you don’t know yourself (your forces), then harmonious interaction will be a matter of chance, as you blindly try various experiments with various people.
What will you die for? That represents your transcendent soul value.

The question might be, can I see others without the lens of judgment?
Is there something called “objective seeing”?
The answer to this takes me into esoteric inquiry.
The situation here reminds me of the hologram.
Every point in the hologram contains the whole.
The hologram concept unites: Unity and Multiplicity.
The large number of points present in the hologram represents multiplicity.
Whereas, the fact that each contains the whole represents unity.
Each point sees the whole from its point of view.
So actualization is to see the infinite from your point of view.
So I could probably conclude, we are all evolving towards actualizing and expanding our own point of view (expanding who we are) and relating with more and more of other points of view (expanding our relations).

Another more day to day analogy might be:
We are all basically like different flavors of icecream.
The fact that we are all icecream in essence is the UNITY aspect.
The fact that each of us has a unique flavor is the MULTIPLICITY aspect.

That is why, I am the infinite God, and you are an infinite God too.
I see you in myself, you see me in yourself (total interpenetration of being).