The whole is your home

Home is the [largest perspective], the [whole’est perspective].
To leave home is to depart from this [largest perspective] into a [narrowed perspective].
All journeys away from home are journeys into [narrowed perspectives].
In fact the narrower your perspective gets, the more far away from home you go.
The most crazy journeys involve stepping into the most far out narrowed perspectives.

Home (metaphysically speaking) has little to do with your physical location or with certain people we call family etc.
Those are factors that ENABLE us to RELAX enough to ACQUIRE that kind of WHOLE PERSPECTIVE.
The more one relaxes and feel safe(the less the fear), the more that one can open up to the largest perspective.
And generally a physical location and known people (since you know them for many years they are much more predictable and cause the least anxiety/fear) is a good formula for our mammalian brain to PERMIT this ENLARGEMENT of PERSPECTIVE.

Since [Fear] is one of the biggest contractors of perspective, finding home is about finding freedom from fear.
Fear is what takes you away from home, and the absence of fear is what brings you back home.

Also, another important point is, [Right Action] comes from [Right View] (Buddha).
So the BEST POSSIBLE ACTION will always come from the WHOLE’EST PERSPECTIVE.
Narrower your perspective, the less you can see, and your action would be at a certain level of discord with the whole as a result.
A great demonstration of this principle is in the Samurai warrior training of Wu-shin(which means no mind).
They literally defocus their eyes on a neutral point far away, when enemies are running towards them with swords.
Imagine! Can you defocus and relax yourself like that when someone is coming to kill you with a sword?
For an ordinary person, his attention would almost get rapture’d and hyper focused on the sword alone and all he would see would be the sword and little else.
Think about it. If the samurai only focused on the sword, how would he take the best action?
The calmer you are, the less fearful you are = the broader your perspective = the better your action would be.
So ‘Home’ is also the place for the emanation of the best actions.
Whatever place keeps you in your highest spirits with least fear, will result in the BEST ACTIONS and BEST OUTCOMES.

Dark night of soul – The longing for rest

meltingcandle

I feel so much of tiredness/lassitude/fatigue/blankness.
I cannot bring the formless to form using my power.
There is no will, interest, or energy to do so.
I am too tired to focus and object-ify anything.
My desire is to relax further and further into the formless and to rest in the ground of being.

I am too tired to do the self-ing action(self-ing is a verb, we self ourselves into existence, it is an unconscious effort)
My self has lost all potency of becoming.
Rather, I want to relax myself out of objectified existence.
All my drive is towards unbecoming now.
Everything is blank as I enter into a barely/dimly conscious dissociative space.
A state which I knew since earliest childhood, it feels familiar.
A state of blankness and void.

I feel a loss of desire/interest/will/force/potency of all mental powers, faculties as I relax.
This also removes all ambitions, hopes, investments, ideals, goals, which rest over and above the former powers.
It is like gradually falling asleep and entering the hypnogogic symbolic state of fluid mind and staying there.
My signal is tuning out and relaxing and entering the primordial ground of being.

There is only a flow, and very weak selves arise, morph, or pass.
I feel a loss of all powers from this relaxation – a relaxing of the self-ing power itself back into the void/blankness/spontaneous happening.
The insight I get is that, it is the “ground of being” that emerges out of itself as SELF-ing and then DE-SELFs and relaxes back into itself. (creating the cycle of becoming and unbecoming, just like the day and night cycle).
I am only dimly conscious of objects, mostly just of a broad boundary-less abstract blank.

I cannot tighten my mental muscles to focus on any objects, there is no will to do so.
My relaxation takes me into the objectless/formless/timeless/limbo/symbolic, and I cannot OBJECT-IFY or FOCUS.
All I wish for is a deep sleep back into non-existence/void/whatever my substrate is.
I am just tired weary and wish for SLEEP.
I feel like it is 3am for my soul, which is just waiting for a deep sleep back into itself.

I see insights like “All of life is relationship”.
And now I am de-coloring/de-cathecting all my relationships to objects and sinking back into the formless, timeless, wholeness, and unknowable void.
Just like we have bright daytime activity and the sleep of night, I intuit the soul too has days and nights.
I wish for a safe sleep into the ground of being.
My process now, is to remove all blockages, responsibilities, bondage and relationships that are preventing full rest and keeping me up.
Maybe a time will come after I sleep when I want to rejoin the world in inspiration, excitement, love, and fervor.
But now is the night for me.
I want to sink back to my source.
I want to die into the abstract.
This also reflects the title of my blog “Journey to the abstract”.