Reflections on my life experience now

wave

I am not able to understand anything totally.
All my ‘intellectual grasps’ are like views from high points of different waves arising in the ocean.
What is the ocean itself?
The more I inquire I see that I am not perception at all.
I am deep sleep itself, the cessation, the void, the unmanifest, from which manifest-conscious arises like a wave and passes back.

This is a time in my life where the ocean does not have any 1 continuous wave, but rather has 100s of waves arising and passing.
Each time, my “perception” arises out of the wave, as a relationship between the wave and the ocean, and then returns to the ocean in deep sleep again.
The ocean is the true fount of my creativity, it creates waves of creative-impulse/inspiration that rise up as manifest-consciousness and after that return to the unmanifest.
The wave is a new creative thought/form/relationship/connection/theme/frame/theory/idea/insight.

It seems like perception and separation are connected because perception is always a relationship.
No relationship = ONE = Union = No perception = A void.

I see a continuous BIPOLAR state in me:
Wildly and quickly oscillating, waxing-waning, coming-going, rising-falling, empowering-disempowering, bright-dark, energetic-dull, free-afflicted.
This strong cycling of dualities makes visible the emptiness and non-essence of all of it.
I am neither depressed nor happy, neither free nor afflicted, neither interested nor bored.
Each is a state of consciousness, a state of the wave’s relationship to the ocean.
When the ocean emits the wave = it creates the positive emotion from the wave’s point of view.
When the ocean pulls back the wave = it create the negative emotion from the wave’s point of view.

Essentially, it is the attachment to the ‘States of consciousness (SOCs)’ that is being tested.
The attachment results in [pleasure+fear] in the rise cycle, and [pain+longing] in the fall cycle.
I realize that my desire is for the WAVE itself and its point of view vs. flatlining into the ocean.
The waves/cycles have also been intense and narrow for me, which causes a mild psychosis like feeling.
The intense creative activity of mine is showing that I am operating very close to ocean.
That is why there is the constant alternation between the ‘end of me’ and the ‘me arising each time differently from a new inspiration’.
I have not had any continuous long-range inspiration at this stage of life nor in this life in general.

We move away from god/unmanifest in an inbreath – wave rising.
We move towards god/unmanifest in an outbreath – wave falling.
My life experience now is more like a series of short-waves, flutter breaths (rapid extremely shallow in-out breaths).
It is like like living 1000s of lives in one life, in very rapid cycles.

I realize my attachments are much more abstract than I thought.
I cling to the peaks of the cycle, and try to increase its dynamic range, i.e. I try to make the lights brighter, and the darks darker.
Each arising wave is like an upsurge of inspiration that separates me from the ocean and allows separation/perception/consciousness/relationship, which is what I desire.
This is my WILL to be, my WILL to exist, my WILL to rise and live as a wave.
So I then try to hold on to these inspirations as far as possible.
This is why there is this continuous clinging present.

It is like living a new character in a new movie everyday, and each time you continuously cling to the movie, because you do not want it to end.
It is like struggling to be born, because various desires push our a wave of birth/inspiration, but they only last a day at most and return to the ocean.

Society and the chakras

spiral-dynamics

In a society run primarily in 1C, 2C, & 3C, life revolves more or less around these 3 chakra values with some fringe activity in the 4C,5C, 6C, & 7C.
Generally societies have a center of gravity which forms its nucleus and all the other chakras orient around the center, which is the organizing principle.

Societal levels:
1C(physical) = The physical power/fitness/looks/health marketplace.
Here the rule would be ‘might is right’.

2C(informal/group/relationship status) = The socio-sexual marketplace. Dealing with personality and seduction. Here the rule is ‘seduction and influence wins’.

3C(formal/political/societal status) = The socio-political marketplace of power/authority/influence/certifications/proven-worth. Here the rule is ‘formal positions of power/control/possession win’

So the 3 levels are of increasing scope from – individual -> group -> society.
And there is status and value attributed to each of these levels.

If society was run with the center of gravity in the 4C, 5C and 6C, here are some possibilities of what that might look like:
4C society = altruism, cooperation, willingness to see/understand, willingness to include(love), culture-centric pov, DEEP and TRUE interests (not vested interest) for the thing in and of itself and for its own sake.

5C society = ecological understanding, truth/wisdom seeking, planet-centric pov, symbolic level depth understandings (motifs, hieroglyphs, mythologies), gestalt vision, harmony, pure fundamental science.

6C society = seeking the philosophers stone, true vision, understanding various worlds/povs and altered states of consciousness, grounding in the pov of ‘all is consciousness’ as the foundation, intuitive depths, instant knowing, psychic potentials, formless in-sight, w-holistic, law of ONE etc.

7C society = non-local, non-dual, quantum, non-linear, formless, transcendence of time-space, powers beyond imagination etc.

My main practice

– Stay as the mirror mind: All is a moving reflection of the unnamable. Nothing more, nothing less.
– Surrender/Let go/Release all “formations” and “contractions” of energy. That is the only doing/undoing.
– Propriocept the subtlest sensation. Stay as silent/receptive as possible.