The animal wants to survive,
The mystic wants to dissolve,
The human stands between them,
Haunted by the echo of both.
A very abstract breakdown of power
In my vision, from a very abstract view, experience has only 3 qualities:
* Vision = The extent of your seeing.
* Power = The extent of your power.
* Sustainability = The extent you can sustain the power.
Power, in its purest form, is self-transformation.
Everything else is a kind of shadow or substitute.
* Control over others or environment = A consolation for lacking the power to see and transform oneself.
It’s reactive and it needs endless force and maintenance.
It is also just blind loyalty to a self you have falsely identified with.
* Self-control = An intermediate step.
It’s internalized power, but limited.
You can restrain impulses or habits, but you’re still structually bound to the mind or circumstances.
It’s like steering a boat along a river you didn’t build.
* Self-transformation = The ultimate power.
Especially when Vision + Power converge: You see what you truly are + actively shape your consciousness and being.
It’s the ability to remodel the very field/structure of existence you inhabit.
True agency is always inward first; everything external is secondary.
Ofc, generating a massive burst of power is not as difficult as sustaining it.
The real challenge is in re-engineering your system to sustain that power/voltage.
Understanding vs Connection
If connection is there, understanding is just a luxury, not even necessary.
When there is no connection, understanding becomes necessary and mandatory.
The more separate you feel, the more the necessity to understand.
If deep heart resonance is already present, then 2 people can simply join in that ecstasy of shared resonance and synergy (without needing to reflect or understand in post).
Transcendence, in a sense, involves total separation, therefore total understanding too.
When connection is absent or fragile, understanding becomes the bridge.
To do even one thing, you have to do everything
No action is truly isolated.
Every real act arises from the totality of who you are in that moment.
Nothing is isolated.
Every act done is also an act of reorganization of the entire being.
True mastery and the ideal oddly comes only once one is no longer seeking anything from it
I intuitively feel that the only way to live the ideal way in any area of life, is once all desire from that area of life is completed/over/saturated/finished/outgrown.
True mastery and freedom in any domain often comes only when one is no longer seeking anything from it.
This is in every domain: love and relationships, creative work, spirituality, material wealth and success etc.
The highest ideal and freedom can be lived only after desire, not through it.
It’s almost like the difference between karma and dharma.
Dharma seems to be possible only when there is nothing left to extract from that domain.
In other words total dharma is possible only from total transcendence,
And total transcendence is possible only when all desires are consciously lived and thinned out to fade.
Both maintenance and transformation are dynamic processes
Even what we call stability or identity (e.g.: “I am me”) is really repetition, not permanence.
Change is just a different expression of the same underlying activity.
In both cases, there’s never true stillness – just different flavours of motion.
Even the past is an active construction, maintained by constant remembering and narrating.
Nature doesn’t distinguish between stability and change as opposites.
Both are expressions of process.
Maintenance is not stagnation.
It’s motion disguised as stillness.
Boundaries seem to be artifacts of system dynamics, not fundamental truths.
Take the analogy of an old CRT TV.
It is continuously and rapidly drawing and re-drawing all the images on the screen.
Even if you see the same frozen image, the CRT is actively drawing that same image again and again.
Just like the image persists via refresh, the identity persists via recursive maintenance.
The feeling of being a “continuous self” is actively upheld, like the CRT image.
It needs narrative, repetition, recognition.
Insights on Energy, Resonance, and Human Connection
— Energy is subjective: What feels like high or low energy is relative to one’s own lifetime experiences.
— Imagination as amplifier: It can intensify both joy and suffering by multiplying aspects of memory and emotion.
— Social interaction as catalyst: Without engagement with other beings, human or otherwise, a vital dimension of energetic activation remains dormant.
— Connection through commonality: Resonance arises most easily when there’s a shared “frequency”, a common denominator of experience, emotion, or intention.
— Alienation through uniqueness: When one’s energetic makeup is radically different from others, this can lead to a feeling of deep existential disconnection.
— Unconscious systems dominate: Most of what drives attraction, resonance, and energetic interplay operates beneath conscious awareness, within the “90%” of the unconscious system.
— Resonance ≠ alignment of intention: Two people may deeply resonate due to shared trauma or experience, yet be repelled if their responses to that experience diverge e.g., one seeks closure through compartmentalization and forward motion, while the other seeks total understanding and transcendence through full confrontation and deconstruction. Resonance alone does not ensure relational harmony.
Hatred and Love are about wanting change or no-change
Hatred is about trying to change something (push).
Love is about trying to preserve something (pull).
Hate and Love are for the ‘External world’ and the ‘Internalized world’.
– The ‘External world’ providing the good or bad experience
– The ‘Internalized world’ holding the good or bad experience
Conditioning is basically the ‘Internalized world’ derived from the ‘External world’.
It ties into craving (love) and aversion (hate).
Wanting to include –vs– Wanting to exclude.
Wanting to keep –vs– Wanting to remove.
Loved things torture you when they are gone.
Hated things torture you when they are there.
Hatred and Love are both responses to impermanence.
They are efforts to negotiate with the flow of change.
The only thing I am craving
In a way the only thing I am looking for is:
Intense/Immense/Profound meaning/voltage(PD)/current/movement/flow.
Be it additive, subtractive/dissolving, transforming.
Motivation is needed only when the reward is not intrinsic
Motivation is needed only when the reward is not intrinsic to the activity itself.
When aliveness itself is enjoyed, it penetrates everything.
It is like when the subatomic particles are singing, all matter is enjoying.
Journey to the Abstract 