About Kundalini

I read that there are 3 stages of enlightenment:
# Stage 1: Gautam Buddha is behind you as a shadow.
# Stage 2: The Buddha comes in front of you, and you become the shadow.
# Stage 3: There is no more of you – not even a shadow, only the Buddha is.
(more information is available on this if you google it)

The kundalini initiates all 3 of these stages.
Kundalini is the “ascension energy” itself.
The “returning to source” movement from base to the crown chakra and beyond (not literal physical location, but more in terms of shifting of energy density from gross to subtle).
Spiritual seeking (the true kind) is from kundalini basically.
Kundalini is present in everyone but dormant, that is why this process is called kundalini awakening and kundalini rising.
Though I say “base to the crown”, the actual process is mystical and non-linear, not a linear flow from base to top in terms of physical location.
That is only for the purpose of symbolic representation.
Kundalini is like the stored source energy(potential) that serves as a vehicle to carry you back to source, it is the agency of transformation.

The concept of transcendence and spirituality does not even occur or appeal to someone whose kundalini is still dormant.
A sincere longing and seeking appears only after kundalini awakens.
Else there is no desire or any interest in such stuff, and such subjects.
The longing to transcend is the desire/potential, the force that makes you explore/seek/do sadhana is the kinetic/action.
That dormant potential that carries to the next dimension is the kundalini shakti.

It is like the upward current that carries you to a lower density, as your being receives greater energy.
Higher the energy = lower the density, like the molecules of gases have a lot more energy than liquids and solids.
Going up to lower density planes means, there is new information, new perception, new laws that are intuited, which are all the unfamiliar new terrains that are passed through in this process.
The “dark night of the soul”, is a stage in this kundalini ascension process, especially applies if you move very rapidly.
You can only move as fast as the amount of ‘loss’ you can handle and process.

So to recap the main points:
Kundalini is a symbolic system which represents the power/vehicle/fuel that carries you through the process of transcendence to lower densities planes from your current higher density plane.
This process is that it is highly mystical, non-linear, and beyond our understanding, at a level of mystery that is similar to life, birth, and death itself.

Living through the death process

dead_trees

WARNING: This is a somewhat serious and heavy post.
For the readers not interested in the topic of death, this can be skipped.


I am losing control.
I am losing my will-power.
I am dying, fading, receding, dissolving, falling into the ground,
Into a subconscious in-between state.
The state in-between:
# waking and sleep
# waking and dreaming
# life and death
# birth and death
# consciousness and unconsciousness

I am like a dying tree,
Who is in the hands of all of nature’s elements.
I cannot weather the elemental forces anymore.
I submit to them.
I submit to their destruction of me.
The wind blows off my leaves and branches.
Animals eats off whatever they want from me.
Insects feast on me from the outside.
Microorganisms eat me from within.
I am decomposing and falling into the ground of filth,
From where I sprang forth.
It is as if god has given permission to everything in nature to finish me off.
I stand back within this apocalypse and witness tides and tides of destruction, loss, and grief.
The loss of everything I have known.
The loss and destruction continuously happens.
The only function “I” perform with my will, is opening the valve just enough so that it is bearable.
Every-time I open the valve, more of my self is torched in the flame.
Facing death consciously is like facing endless loss and grief.
I know that death is be allowed.
But I am compassionate to the me that is dying,
As every identification is being decomposed, rotted, and reabsorbed.
The process is as pretty as witnessing a vegetable rot in time lapse.
Every death of every part, fills my space with its smoke of grief.
But I only get short breaks, before the next series of deaths start.

My “senses” are going weak.
I can sense/feel/perceive anything only with a lot of strain.
I have to expend a lot of effort to crystallize a momentary perception.
And if I keep doing that, then I will be sent back into a stupor from exhaustion.
My will has become so weak and feeble,
I have to let 95% of things just happen.
I can no longer control my thought and emotion.
I have lost the unity of body mind spirit.
Now they are all fragmented.
It is a descent into chaos like what happens to a kingdom when the king falls.
The various fragments pull and push at each other and scream at the death process, which pulls off their life supports and they all struggle to survive until they fade away.

My mind reacts to the dissolution with painful dreadful suffering visions and agonies,
Which immediately affect the body too with an assortment of painful hormones.
Death is something that is done to you, I am not doing anything.
In fact with the structural dissolution, my power to do decreases more and more.
All I can do with the me that is left is let it happen or resist it.
And resisting it only gives me short breaks.
The flood of the death process, cannot be dammed away for too long.
My motto is: To bear it and allow it as much as possible,
With minimum-damage and suffering, which is the only priority.
The challenge is to go through it with as much grace as you can muster.

Every structure resists death, every structure wants to live.
And so every dissolution of every structure suffers onto its own demise.
Birth and death are suffering.
The growing pains and the dying pains.
Creation is painful and destruction is painful.
There is no escape from pain and resistance.
There is a fundamental duality of:
Statis(inertia, death) ——- Movement(life)
So because the whole of existence/experience is a play of opposing forces,
Resistance as an experience is going to be felt no matter what.
If you sit still, your life force will push on you.
If you move, your inertia will drag on you.

Creation and Destruction are not proportionate in this realm

Indulgence is not a good strategy because the rate of expending and regeneration is not the same.
The rates of regeneration and exhaustion are entirely different.
It is possible to break everything in one second but it takes a long process to create anything.
Creating harmony takes time, while creating disharmony is so easy.
It is so easy to make something ugly and chaotic, but so difficult to make something structured and beautiful.
It is so easy to waste energy and expend all of it very quickly but regeneration of that is not easy.
It is so easy to start a huge forest fire but it is so difficult for the forest to regenerate.
[Destruction] is so easy and takes no time at all while [Creation] is such a difficult/long/vulnerable process.
That seems to be the nature of this place.
The physical realm is esp. slow in its processes.
The next is the mental realm where destruction and generation can be much faster relatively.

How long does it take to create a stone sculpture, and how long would it take to break it?
It takes so many years to build trust, but it is so easy to entirely break it.
It takes so much effort to create an elaborate cultural system, but so easy to totally reject it and cast it aside.
To build a relationship takes so much of artfulness and effort, and it takes no time to just break everything.
How long did it take for the earth to flourish with all its creation/life/forms. Lets say it took 1 billion years.
It would take 1/billionth of the time to destroy the whole world with nuclear bombs.

How long does it take to create a complex machine? like your laptop. Think about all the labor that has gone into making every piece you see. And how long does it take to shatter it?
How long will it take for you to make a beautiful painting. You would have to learn the art over years, and develop your skills and then create a really beautiful one from all of that coming together. How long will it take me to destroy the painting? And if I kill you, I would have instantly killed all the intricate psychic structure you have created in your body-mind? (who knows how much we lose in death, whether we retain any of our specific learning/knowledge/memory at all).

Why this enormous difference between the power of creation and power of destruction.
Why can’t I be in a world where creation and destruction have the same power? That is true freedom isn’t it?
The only realm where that is true is in your pure imagination.
That is why I so prefer to stay there and not step down much into the world of becoming where destruction is disproportionately more powerful.
How is this place freedom?
The threat of destruction always looms and it relies on the restraint of all free agents. Everything is so hyper vulnerable here as a result.
How much can I control? 99% is out of my control?
The chances of my heart getting broken are 99% in this place.
It is so easy to destroy, but so difficult to create.
And 90% of stuff or more is driven by natural processes where only time and nurture can regenerate.
I cannot afford to be attached to anything here, because everything is so vulnerable to getting destroyed and even if I work day and night to protect my works I cannot truly secure anything.
The forces of creation are so so slow.

How long does it take to grow a baby? but it can be simply aborted in a few seconds.
This is not just for inanimate objects, but life itself that is so vulnerable here.
Life can be ended in a millisecond, but it takes so many years and decades to develop.
I can cut a tree with a chainsaw in less than a minute but how long it would take to grow that tree? 15 years?
I can raze a whole forest to the ground in a few hours, but it might take a whole century to grow that again – our whole lifetime and more.
Why is destruction literally a [Million] or [Billion] times more powerful here? – is the question I want to contemplate.

Noun, Pronoun -> Verb -> Adjective

I had a big shift earlier, where I started to see that there were no real Nouns/Pronouns in existence.
Rather, there were only verbs and processes everywhere.
Today, on deeper thought, I had a flash of an even greater shift from Verbs/Processes to Adjectives.
Everything now can be seen as an Adjective/Quality/Is-ness.

I can correlate it to the dimensions of Space(3-D), Time(4-D) and the Platonic world (world of platonic forms) (5-D).
Space(3-D) = Nouns, Pronouns
Time(4-D) = Verbs, Processes
Platonic(5-D) = Adjectives, Qualities, Essences, Is-nesses, Archetypes

So the Adjective/Quality is the higher dimensional essence which manifests as processes and when you take a snapshot of the process, you get nouns/pronouns.

The process of creation and growth

The process of creation involves the following cycles:
Chaos -> Structure 1 -> Chaos -> Structure 2 -> Chaos….and so on
No essence(soul, monad) is retained between the structures, except the totality(God) itself.

The process of growth is similar, but it retains an essential quality which grows:
Chaos -> Structure 1 -> Structure1 + Chaos -> Structure2….and so on

It seems like by this model:
Creation is a cycle while Growth is a process.

Lets say, the Monad or individual soul only lasts one lifetime and does not span across lifetimes.
This model is in line with the teachings of ‘Nisargadatta Maharaj’ who experienced no persisting essence beyond the body whatsoever.
In that case, it would mean the spark of the essential monad appears in a primordial total chaos(before birth) and this spark initiates the whole birth-growth-death process.
Another possibility could be: The monad could last multiple lifetimes spanning multiple realms.

Another totally different model itself, would be:
Where we are endlessly growing from life to life.
Where there is an individual soul essence(monad), that grows forever.
But interesting, this model limits creativity.
Because TOTAL CREATIVITY -> REQUIRES TOTAL DISSOLUTION
Otherwise there is still the limitation of the original essence.
And the “Growth” concept can only apply until there is an enduring essence.

Threads of causation

The causation thread goes all the way to the infinite/to god/to the unknown/mystery/blurry/foggy horizon
So each and every thing can be traced back to god/mystery/unknown.
It follows the thread of the known – getting subtler and subtler until it vanishes past your seeing ability reaching the horizon/unknown.
All attribution of substance(gross to subtle) depends on how far one sees into the causation thread.
If you see short, you see definite gross entity causes, if you see far, you see various subtle potentials manifesting everything and the picture looks far more complex.
If one sees the farthest, he sees all causation threads leading back to the infinite nothing.
Ultimately everything is a VERB, an UNFOLDING, a PROCESS.
There are forces, which are aggregate of smaller forces, and those smaller forces are aggregates of even smaller forces and so on.