Deeper aspects about BDSM


Spectrum: Polarization:
Delicate target -to- outside violent strong sadist ——— Strong violent sadist -to- outside vulnerable soft target
Submissive(2C), Controlled(3C) ———- Dominator(2C), Controller(3C)
Note: C = chakra
BDSM is a higher polarized version of regular domination and control facets, and it falls on the ends of the bell curve.
The dynamic is between the poles: [dominator – submissive], [controller, controlled].
But take it to the extreme and you get harcore BDSM.
And since this is a spectrum, there are mild, medium, high forms of it too before the extreme end.

The sadist denies his vulnerability while the masochist denies his strength.
So the 2 look for each other, to stabilize and balance their consciousness.

This game can be played until it is interesting.
The way to come out of it is to acknowledge your denied side.
For the dominator to accept his vulnerability.
For the submissive to accept his power.
The shadow of the submissive is the dominant.
The shadow of the dominant is the submissive.
You are seeing your own “projected repressed qualities” in the others you attract, and thereby completing the denied consciousness via consciousness of the attracted other who is lived through vicariously.

Submissive, controlled:
The image of self is cathected to a tender, vulnerable, soft target -> and the other is seen as the violent predator looking to attack and destroy you.
Dominant, controller:
The self is cathected to being strong, powerful, invulnerable -> and the other is seen as a weak vulnerable creature to be attacked.
The submissive is trying to kill of his power ———————– The dominant is trying to kill off his vulnerability
Attachment to helplessness/powerlessness ———————– Attachment to total power and agency

To be in-between is painful.
So the tendency is mostly to polarize to any one end.
And since addiction works on denial primarily, each is addicted to the other.
So those denied aspects prevent wholeness and set up desires which can get overpowering, because ultimately they are a desire to bring the repressed part into consciousness via. the other.
So the more your deny yourself a pole, the more extreme the desire gets to obtain that pole through the other in consciousness.
The beauty is, both recognize each other.
The dominator lives the vulnerability vicariously through the submissive he/she attacks.
The submissive lives the dominator role vicariously by receiving his/her power.

Society and conventional relationships too function on some degree of polarization.
In the typical societal dynamic -> girl = submissive, guy = dominant.
This is acceptable and the norm. If the guy or girl is extremely dominant or submissive respectively, then one moves further from the norm but is still somewhat accepted.
However, to be a dominant girl or a submissive guy falls out-of-sync with the polarization of conventional/typical society.

Respect Power

Look again at the word ‘respect’
Re-‘spect’ is to re-SEE, re-acknowledge, re-validate
It is a continuous ever-refreshing seeing of the other
To say ‘I respect you’ is akin to saying ‘I see you’
Respect the power of this earth realm
Respect perception power
Respect creative power
Respect the power of love
Respect social/group power
Respect sexual power
Respect physical power

Power vs. Powerlessness

Everyone is doing things from a position of truth or falsity.
The only difference between the 2 is powerlessness vs. power.
The person in truth is home and operates from power, security, independence, and abundance.
The person in falsity operates as an exile from powerlessness, insecurity, dependence, and scarcity.
That’s all there is to it.

Power has nothing to do with outer recognition.
Recognition derived from operating in falsity will be a strife, and very difficult to sustain and enhance.
It would take a lot of effort and would be highly insecure.
Living in power on the other hand is about living in your effortlessness.
The power comes from your manifestation being sustained by deeper forces (which are your own deeper forces, but they appear as the divine ground or god).

About power

Power is invisible, and resistance is visible.
So if you “see” resistance, you are basically seeing powerlessness.

The connection between power and resistance

The experience of power is possible only when overcoming resistance.
Power is when you push(force) against a resistant force – could be a medium/field/object etc.
So power needs resistance.
If there is no resistance, power is irrelevant.

Power also needs separation.
Power is a relational quality between 2 separate forces.
The relation of one force with another force.