All qualities simultaneously exist

Sometimes, I keep taking the opposite position and arguing with people.
Many a time, I feel compelled to take the opposing position.
Then I contemplated, and wondered about ‘why do I do that’.

One of the reasons I felt was,
To attain independence from people.
To test whether I could hold the opposite view vs. the person in front of me,
Instead of always getting absorbed into their point of view.
But this would often be really difficult for me.
Because I would end up seeing their point of view too,
Which would not only dilute my position,
But often even completely overshadow it.

Also, I realize that this does not give me any real independence,
Because this is still based on the other’s position only,
It is a reaction and not a true action.
I allow the other’s position to completely fill my inner space because:
# I want to maintain harmony with them.
# Because if I don’t then it will lead to vain/futile resistance and may be a threat to my well-being.
But within me, my inner space is so mercurial that it is quite hard to see what I want or feel about anything.
Everything could substantially dramatically shift in a dime.
Everything is so mutable and changeable, it’s hard for me to access my foundation.

This inability to ground into or take/maintain/forward a position/perspective,
Makes me feel quite powerless.
Because conventionally power is associated with force.
And unless you structure yourself into some position, no force can be created.
“Identity structures/foundation” are what generate force.
For instance, a tiger is completely grounded in its instinctual structures.
So the tiger carries enormous force in its very being.
You cannot talk it out of being a tiger.

Maybe I am somewhat disconnected from my animal nature and instincts,
Which is what makes me feel like I’m living in an “imaginative field”.
(This could have been a dissociation survival adaptation to high levels of childhood neglect/abuse/violation from others.)
I am profoundly confused as to what is my relationship with others or with the world/society itself.
On the plus side, since I can see all perspectives/points of view,
In the simulator function of my brain or imagination,
I gain a systems/ecological vision of things.
An impersonal w-holistic vision which is not about any particular thing or particular identity.
And it is easy for me to see that the only doer is god/field/consciousness,
And that everything is a temporal appearance.

After constantly living in a soup of all superimposed positionalities,
I realized that trying to polarize myself,
To any one extreme polarity,
In any of the dimensions,
With my efforts,
Has been the cause for a lot of strife within me.
I realized that I can:
# Neither be not affected, nor can I be affected completely.
# Neither be totally powerful, nor can I be totally powerless.
# Neither be completely good, nor can I be completely bad.
# Neither be completely with, nor can I completely avoid.
# Neither be completely clear, nor can I be completely unclear.
# Neither be completely truthful, nor can I be completely false.
# Neither be fully right, nor can I be fully wrong.
# Neither be completely loving, nor can I be completely hateful.

So this kind of throws light on my fundamental resistance to life.
Because life happens on its terms, while I am struggling against it.

The intention of my blog posts

How many faces can you see in this picture?


Each face represents a certain way of seeing, isn’t it?
My blog posts are something like that.
They are cues/pointers/symbols for various forms of seeing, perspectives, heights of perception, and various intelligences.
The intention of my blog posts is to “awaken perspectives” and “meta-cognition”.
As the title of my blog suggests, I myself am journeying to the abstract.
So, it is like, as I ascend to the sky like a hot-air balloon, I contemplate and reflect on what I see, and take various snapshots of different views and share it here as a kind of art.
My posts are not absolutes but are more like art pieces/snapshots from various heights of perception.
Though my posts can, at times, appear to be all around the place, in the larger sense, they mirror my own journey and evolution.
So I expect that the posts may get more ethereal with time.
But I never know.

The posts are not intended to replace your current point of view, rather, they are various forms of art/seeing/exercises that I share, to awaken/clarify/enrich that level of your own intelligence/height of perception.
Like how one learns addition in math, not by by-hearting 2+2=4, 4+4=8 etc., but by solving various kinds of addition problem exercises.
Similarly, all of my posts are “perspective art forms” of truths I share from my own level of vision/perception, and they are meant to awaken your own intelligence at various levels.
For people who are already awake to these perspectives, it is still a joy to share all of this with them as a form of play.
And every time someone reads and benefits from my content, it gives me encouragement to continue this work.

About heart/soul(symbolic) as the attunement instrument

All attunement happens from the heart.
The brain is then just an awesome instrument available in the attunement that the heart has chosen.
To take different perspectives, different points of view, see through different consciousness locuses/lenses, to tune into different worlds by altering frequency = done by heart/soul.
My primary ability is to take ‘different points of view’ and tune into multiple worlds and perspectives.
Perspective of a bird, insect, every creature/being, earth, celestial bodies – sun, planets, moons, and so on.
Each is a “unique and infinite” point of view.
Each is a realm, a world.
In my entire life, I have shifted tuning to millions of such worlds/realm.
What I see is that each point of view is an INFINITY.
I’m only moving from infinity to infinity.
My deepest knowledge from navigating all the worlds is in the relativity/validity/infinity/wonder of all worlds.
Any judgment I hold is transitory because the judgment is simply the output of energy channeled through a frame/orientation of mind. But what if each frame that the heart tunes to is an entire infinite realm. We are all only cosmic grand navigators, and the situation in the world is where people have concretized their imagination and have forgotten the real nature of their condition.
But yea, maybe this dream of limitation/concretization of perspective, and full conviction in an objective world has its place, its wonder too.
I feel like I’m the true traveler.
My intellect is just a powerful celebrator and instrument that illuminates whatever worlds my heart/soul chooses to tune into.
This is a game of hide and seek, a game of remembering and forgetting.
We are the supreme being itself, representing the greatest wonder and riches.