Love is the energy that upholds existence.
When there is enough self-love(inherent-love), you are independent and self-sufficient.
[Again, as children, we are totally dependent on our parents and the potentials they have nurtured in us.
This may translate into self-love later.
Also there is love from existence itself which supports both you and your parents.
So in a totally mutually interdependent system of existence, one could argue that nothing is inherent.
But it appears that way, so I will continue to refer to it as such.]
When there is not enough self-love, you will start dying/withering/crumbling and you will have to rely on others love of you to keep yourself going.
And of-course, only the parts that they love will be sustained.
So even if they abuse you, you will take it and take that role, because they are loving that role in you (its better than nothing – it is some form).
So all parasitic manipulation – purposely creating dependency in others whether through establishing yourself as useful or important at work, or whether by seduction to make someone else like you and uphold you, or by making your family or children dependent on you – are all ways of ensuring your continuance by the others need of you – which is a form of love sustenance you are receiving form them.
So without inherent love, parasitic techniques are required to ensure the others give you supplies, creating the narcissistic dilemma of securing supplies all the time, because the narcissist himself cannot maintain his structure without others needing/feeding on it.
So such people will readily get into roles, various co-dependent relationships, controlling relationships, try to secure dependence from others, try to ensure there are others needing them, try to establish their value and worth through formalized institutions like corporations etc., or try to join outside causes – gang up with others – all these are efforts to get supplies of love sustenance through others.
It is a desperate way to live, no matter what technique you use.
Even drugs are actually the same thing, they provide experience structures to you and allow you to uphold those when under their effect.
So its all ultimately dependence on the outside to sustain yourself because you are not OK with what existence has inherently given you.
So detachment is about being OK with whatever is inherently with you and stopping all these complex mechanisms to get more than what you already have.
When there is enough self-love(inherent-love), you are independent and self-sufficient.
[Again, as children, we are totally dependent on our parents and the potentials they have nurtured in us.
This may translate into self-love later.
Also there is love from existence itself which supports both you and your parents.
So in a totally mutually interdependent system of existence, one could argue that nothing is inherent.
But it appears that way, so I will continue to refer to it as such.]
When there is not enough self-love, you will start dying/withering/crumbling and you will have to rely on others love of you to keep yourself going.
And of-course, only the parts that they love will be sustained.
So even if they abuse you, you will take it and take that role, because they are loving that role in you (its better than nothing – it is some form).
So all parasitic manipulation – purposely creating dependency in others whether through establishing yourself as useful or important at work, or whether by seduction to make someone else like you and uphold you, or by making your family or children dependent on you – are all ways of ensuring your continuance by the others need of you – which is a form of love sustenance you are receiving form them.
So without inherent love, parasitic techniques are required to ensure the others give you supplies, creating the narcissistic dilemma of securing supplies all the time, because the narcissist himself cannot maintain his structure without others needing/feeding on it.
So such people will readily get into roles, various co-dependent relationships, controlling relationships, try to secure dependence from others, try to ensure there are others needing them, try to establish their value and worth through formalized institutions like corporations etc., or try to join outside causes – gang up with others – all these are efforts to get supplies of love sustenance through others.
It is a desperate way to live, no matter what technique you use.
Even drugs are actually the same thing, they provide experience structures to you and allow you to uphold those when under their effect.
So its all ultimately dependence on the outside to sustain yourself because you are not OK with what existence has inherently given you.
So detachment is about being OK with whatever is inherently with you and stopping all these complex mechanisms to get more than what you already have.
Journey to the Abstract 