Impermanence and Cyclicity

# Impermanence – removes the notion of ownership/possession.
# Cyclicity of the nature of time – removes the notion of progress/gain
So, it seems like both ownership and progress are temporary phenomena.

The greatest civilizations rose into order/glory and later fell into chaos/oblivion.
The pain and suffering in life I feel is caused by – Trying to maintain the permanency of our illusions while also trying to make them endlessly progress.

The forward moving tides initially greatly assist us in building whatever we want,
Then the same tides reverse their direction and oppose us until everything is brought to a halt.

Our so called free will seems to be at the mercy of these cyclic larger forces.
We can only have anything or dance according to the terms dictated by these forces.
Generally we try to oppose these forces tooth and nail,
But nature eventually wins and swallows us back into itself at death.
We can prolong our life by various clever strategies,
But eventually, some day, we are forced to yield to death.
And death acts in the same way to all.

Our life as an individual with freedom,
Seems to be a kind of gift or privilege,
Bestowed to us as a possibility by these larger forces.
But whatever is given is also taken away.

The only way out of this I see,
Is to voluntarily merge with the deeper reality,
And gradually transform our individual self in alignment to that.

Every gain is a loss, and every loss is a gain, depending on how you look at it.
‘Psychological meaning making’ is sort of an art.
We are then like artists,
Shaping our experience through every moment,
From wherever we are.

The adventure of life

The adventure of life is scary when there is permanence.
But impermanence/emptiness frees you.
As you grow older, you see all was a passing experience.
Like a passing spring breeze carrying various scents.
This mortality/impermanence/change/emptiness is the true transcendent context.
That is where your higher self/god experiences reality from.
It is all the play of god, to be experienced as the passing breeze it is.
Even thinking it is all real, is part of it, creating the peak of immersion.
The more you ground yourself deeper into emptiness, the wilder your life gets.

The lessons of the teacher of impermanence

For the past 2 years, my life experience has been bipolar.
The mornings/early-afternoons are usually splendid, and filled with life/power/spirit/freedom/exotic mystical insights/sublime feelings.
The evenings/nights/late-nights can often however be really grueling/wretched where I just wish I would die and never wake up again.
This bipolarity had/has been relentless, and due to that, I started fearing everything.
Impermanence of this magnitude -> makes one fearful of everything, because impermanence threatens everything, not just the bad experiences, but all of the great experiences too.

The way out of this fear I figured, was to release attachment/identification/cathexis from all that is impermanent, to put it in short.
But the implication of this was staggering, because the price to pay to include the creature of impermanence in my life is everything, and I mean ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
So the call was clear to me that, “All must be let go”.
And the fierce bipolarity was the teacher.
It was maddeningly disorienting, imagine feeling absolutely wretched, despair-ish, eternally hopeless in the night before you slept, only to wake up the next day and feel mystically happy and joyful.
The message was constant of: “There is nothing to rely on, there is nothing to stand on, you can rely on others, neither can you rely on yourself, surrender and let go of ALL/EVERYTHING, that is the only way out”.
Its hard to talk about it to someone who has never gone through impermanence of such subtlety.
Like even the part of me that is writing this will vanish in a few hours or less, and then some other self/orientation/mental-frame/meaning-reality/somatic-reality will take over.
I would like to define 2 terms to explain this:
Soul = my invisible electromagnetic structures, personal.
Spirit = Electricity, non-local, impersonal.
I see it as a hide and seek played by the spirit force.
When spirit force/electricity enters, I get all the mystical visions/control/power/freedom/joy/understanding/stratospheric mental capacities.
But then the spirit vacates my soul, the complementary negative states kicks in of severe limitation/despair/wretchedness/incoherence/chaos/severe loss of all will power/fatigue/suffering etc.
In some nights, from lack of spirit energy, the thoughts get super intrusive/the whole soul struggles to maintain any coherence, and I use all the might of my feeble willpower to simply cling on to some coherent identity/orientation. All I am doing then is using all my might to stop madness. And when it happens it feels eternal.
Then the next day, suddenly it is a new day, with the spirit power back.
The random/chaotic/capricious nature of the entry/departure of spirit electricity/force into my soul, makes my soul scared/weary, and in that hide&seek I feel like I am realizing the higher truth of emptiness/no-thingness/aliveness.
I see the integration of the entirety of impermanence as TRANSCENDENCE.
Because the other 2 insights of Annata (no-self) and Dukkha (dissatisfaction) are inherent in impermanence.
Impermanence is actually embedded in the very nature of creative force.
Greater impermanence is a sign that greater life is filling your soul.
Permanence is actually death/unconsciousness. If air did not move at all and if you did not move/breathe, how could you even be conscious of air?
One cannot be conscious of a permanent thing.
So I realized that LIFE IS IMPERMANENCE, so impermanence is the pearl of life itself. But impermanence is DEATH to us, colloquially, because we call life as something that maintains its form on and on.
I also see the TOTAL INTEGRATION OF IMPERMANENCE is also TOTAL FREEDOM, because then one has dissolved ‘one’s self’ into this alive void.
At a higher level, the self we are dissolving actually represents something closer to death because it is relatively unchanging, higher the change = higher the frequency/power/energy/life.
We are trading our solidity of self for the gas-like ecstasy of the void.