I find it somewhat puzzling.
Even though we in theory come from nature,
Most of our endeavor is in insulating ourselves from it as much as possible.
We crave freedom from nature and its restrictions and randomness,
And build ton loads of infrastructure to minimize direct contact and mediate.
We build:
shoes → to avoid touching the ground
clothes → to escape temperature, wind, exposure
houses → to avoid the wild field of sensory unpredictability
walls → to create zones where nature cannot enter
climate control → to flatten the volatility of the environment
cities → to replace nature with controlled artificiality
screens → to mediate reality through safe distance
cars → as moving capsules of insulation
hospitals → insulation from biological randomness
religions → insulation from metaphysical dread
civilization itself → an enormous buffering machine
Humanity’s entire project seems to be buffering, insulating, distancing, and filtering the raw world.
All becoming is a sacrifice
All becoming looks like a sacrifice,
Like there is no way to really win.
Every becoming requires narrowing.
Every mastery requires confinement.
Every identity requires self-limiting.
Every arc demands cutting off infinite other arcs.
Every domain requires adopting its rules.
Every path sacrifices alternate versions of yourself.
Every win is local, temporary, partial.
Every payoff requires giving up some other possibility.
The animal, human, and mystic
The animal wants to survive,
The mystic wants to dissolve,
The human stands between them,
Haunted by the echo of both.
Reflections on the Integration of Life and Death
My grand life’s musing,
Is the integration of life and death,
Where life and death are not 2 separate events,
But where life and death become one.
What is born dies immediately with change.
Change is instaneous,
The very act of perception itself is to see change,
Change as the vibration/alternation between nothing and something,
Happening rapidly maybe 20times a second.
That seems to be the refresh rate of life and change.
All else is the same principle,
Only the scale/degree varies.
Inbreath is the receiving of life,
Outbreath is the exit of life.
Time is this mega-structure,
That rules all meetings and endings,
And rules all becomings and unbecomings.
In a deeper sense,
There is no becoming nor unbecoming,
The same substance just appears to become or unbecome.
In fact becoming and unbecoming are simultaneous in change.
Change instantly becomes the present and unbecomes what was past.
I imagine a large spectrum.
To the left of it are the things most unchanging, very large timescales.
To the right of it are the things that change every millisecond.
Everything lies somewhere in-between this scale.
Whether it is the scale of inbreath-outbreath happening every few seconds,
Or the scale of a relationship like to parents which lasts half a lifetime.
Memory seems to be the only reason for time’s existence,
Without memory time would not exist?
There would only be the instant/now/that.
The layers of time we experience,
Are they not just the layers of memory?
Time is something we know only by its effect.
We cannot perceive time itself.
Time is what forges the memories,
And time is what fades them out.
We only experience what time dishes out to us + our interpretation.
There is more nuance,
Our experience as a subject is because of the lens of our accumulated memories.
There is also the instantaneous perception of time’s immediate action on us – how it affects us.
But we interpret that through the lens of our memories and build even more memory or reshape old ones.
What would be ‘Experience’ without memory is something elusive and I’m not sure it is even possible.
Even something circling close to that would be – Undefinable, Inexpressable, Ineffable directness.
Like what would it be to see without memory, hear without memory, sense without memory.
Is such an impersonal sensing even possible?
Or does the implied “memory lens subject” and “experience” go together?
My highest idea of living in grace,
Is when we let what comes come, and let what goes go.
The non-linear understanding of time
Time can be seen as a kind of a phenomenon in the field of energy – that is, a kind of continuous self-transforming force.
One’s awareness experiences this flow from a specific point in the field – With the body-mind acting as an energy-lens/container.
However, that body-mind lens is not separate from the field of energy/time – It is itself a localized swirl within the continuous flow, like an eddy in a river.
The universe itself can be seen as a self-actualizing field of energy, with subjective “time” arising only as a localized perceptual effect.
The “river” is the singular field of energy/time, and all bodies, minds, and objects are just patterns within that flow, swirling, forming, dissolving, and reforming continuously.
Understanding vs Connection
If connection is there, understanding is just a luxury, not even necessary.
When there is no connection, understanding becomes necessary and mandatory.
The more separate you feel, the more the necessity to understand.
If deep heart resonance is already present, then 2 people can simply join in that ecstasy of shared resonance and synergy (without needing to reflect or understand in post).
Transcendence, in a sense, involves total separation, therefore total understanding too.
When connection is absent or fragile, understanding becomes the bridge.
To do even one thing, you have to do everything
No action is truly isolated.
Every real act arises from the totality of who you are in that moment.
Nothing is isolated.
Every act done is also an act of reorganization of the entire being.
True mastery and the ideal oddly comes only once one is no longer seeking anything from it
I intuitively feel that the only way to live the ideal way in any area of life, is once all desire from that area of life is completed/over/saturated/finished/outgrown.
True mastery and freedom in any domain often comes only when one is no longer seeking anything from it.
This is in every domain: love and relationships, creative work, spirituality, material wealth and success etc.
The highest ideal and freedom can be lived only after desire, not through it.
It’s almost like the difference between karma and dharma.
Dharma seems to be possible only when there is nothing left to extract from that domain.
In other words total dharma is possible only from total transcendence,
And total transcendence is possible only when all desires are consciously lived and thinned out to fade.
All becoming closes innumerable doors
Becoming is a narrowing.
Every form you take,
Is a thousand doors closed.
To become anything, you must pay in time.
The zero sum game of possession and status
Supposing you went to the moon and looked at the earth as a ball from there,
You’d see only 2 games ruling the entirety of humanity.
Possession = Products of nature + Products of human effort
(Both can be bought with money)
Status = How many people like you (quantity) + How much do you like you (quality)
Now the winning condition for these games are:
The ultimate emperor of the earth = A quadrillion dollars in the bank/Ownership of everything + All 8billion people liking/adoring you to the max.
There is unbelievable sophistication that goes into the organizational structures of these 2 games,
But they are zero sum games ultimately, since there is a clear winning condition for each of them.
If you see carefully, it is merely the redrawing of boundaries.
It is like children playing with a chalk on a concrete pavement.
They draw a boundary for each of them and play games that grant the expansion of those boundaries.
So the chalk is rubbed and redrawn into a bigger circle, while the one losing has to erase and redraw a shrunken circle.
People take on and internalize archetypes of charisma to expand their fan base.
This is also the same game played in the invisible psychic sphere.
Just the redrawing of boundaries.
Something like: “I love my spouse 10x more than I love other friends male/female I have”.
So the level of liberty the spouse can take will also be 10x vs. a stranger who can take very little liberty etc.
But we’ve head of jokes right – that go something like a woman saying: “I’d still have sex if Brad Pitt asked me out etc.” which means he could usurp even those boundaries of her husband because of higher status.
Honestly marriage is just possession extended to humans.
One human possessing another.
Off the top of my head, I can think of 2 other games that are not zero sum:
‘Pursuit of knowledge for its own sake’ and ‘Accessing creative genius and leaps of insight’.
Journey to the Abstract 