The descent into chaos

chaos

Essentially this experience of mine,
Is a descent into chaos,
Where my body loses its coherence,
And organizes itself around a swarm of chaotic desires,
That form the full backdrop of my experience (as shown in the picture),
While the foreground has me doing all the usual jobs to survive.

It feels like the state in-between lives,
Like a kind of bardo,
Like the night sky full of stars (unlimited possibilities),
Vs. the sunny sky (few overruling possibilities).

But this chaos is also the breeding ground,
For offshoots of creativity,
Because of the sheer awareness of swarms of possibilities.
I feel like I’m swimming in the very same ocean of chaos,
That the psychotic drowns in,
Because my eyes are open here in this ground.
I intuit that this seems like the precondition for psychological rebirth,
Where when the season is right,
A certain powerful creative influx will spring me out of this place/phase,
And organize my life into the next higher freq struct.

This lack of organization diminishes vitality though,
And puts me in a state closer to death.
Birth is really a state where an desire/inspiration seed is sprouting.
So in this case, one sort of returns closer to the seed,
Which is likely to sprout again from a new desire/inspiration,
When the outer conditions are favorable, like the Spring season.

Birth is like Spring, Death is like Winter, for the seed.
The cycle of seasons continue,
Resulting in cycles of birth and death continuously,
Until one transcends in their identity,
And when all desires are sublimated.

Birth and Death follow each other.
Every death heralds a birth following it.
This is the principle.
How long it takes is not as relevant,
That is only a matter of degree.

Ascent vs. Descent

The source breathes out existence (ex-is, meaning external isness, i.e. externalization).
And then breathes it (sucks it) back in.
This it the breath of the source, as it descends and ascends through the chakras.

ASCENT:
Every lower chakra serves the higher in ASCENT.
1c = Survival/security/stability is to serve 2c = Community
2c = Community serves 3c = Empowerment/human goals/service activity
3c = Power/goals serves 4c = Procurement of love
4c = Love serves 5c = Wisdom/Truth
5c = Wisdom serves 6c = Vision/Experience/Consciousness
6c = Consciousness serves 7c = Non-local beyond.

DESCENT:
Every higher chakra serves the lower in DESCENT.
7c = Non-local Beyond serves 6c = Vision/Experience/Consciousness
6c = Consciousness serves 5c = Wisdom
5c = Wisdom serves 4c = Love
4c = Love serves 3c = Power/human goals/service
3c = Power serves 2c = Community/Entertainment
2c = Community serves 1c = Survival/Security/Stability

Generally when we say, settle down in life what we refer to is a successful descent:
Using Consciousness and Wisdom (6c and 5c) – Finding what you love (4c) – Creating individuality, identity based on that (3c) – Finding a position in social circles and society with that identity, Finding a partner for a family (2c) – Using the resources and money gained for buying property, enjoying material prosperity/security/stability (1c).

The path of ascent however is the opposite movement.
One wants to go back to the source.
So from a position of relative stability/security(1c) – One seeks to find the source through community by becoming a disciple of masters (2c) – One then uses the inspiration of the masters to take responsibility for their own transcendence and becomes a ‘seeker’ (3c) – One seeks to find out what is in one’s heart and explores both its yin/yang sides (4c) – The heart then realizes its love for wisdom and pursues wisdom for its own sake (5c) – The wisdom develops and distills itself into pure polarities (6c) – Then finally the polarities are dissolved in the non-dual non-local source beyond (7c).